Chapter 17 Tess
Tess
I pulled the bedding around me tighter, not ready to get up, but the smell of food was tempting me.
Stomach growling, I reached out blindly next to me for Luke, but the sheets were cold.
I looked over my shoulder to see that he was gone.
A pang settled in my chest. This was the second morning in a row I’d woken up without him, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.
Of course, I wanted him to gain his independence, but I also wanted him to stay my baby, to always need me.
But I knew that wasn’t reality, no matter how much it hurt.
The laughter that floated down the hall only reinforced that fact.
I followed the giggles that were now accompanied by Levi’s deeper, softer ones to the kitchen.
The sound of his happiness wrapped around my heart like a tether, pulling me closer.
But nothing could’ve prepared me for seeing Levi shirtless, helping Luke mix chocolate chips into purple pancake batter, both of them smiling ear to ear in the wrecked kitchen.
The temptation to sit at the counter and watch nearly took over, but I lingered in the hallway, leaning against the wall.
They whispered quietly to one another; scheming, it looked like, given the way Luke snickered.
Seeing him so comfortable with Levi filled me with hope, but it also made me worry.
I brought my fingers to my mouth, biting my nails.
Did Levi see this marriage lasting past Luke’s custody hearing in two weeks?
Or would he want to end this even after what happened between us two days ago?
I didn’t know, and I knew I needed to find out.
Not just for my sake, but also Luke’s, now that he was growing attached.
But the idea of confronting Levi terrified me. With Jeremy, I wasn’t allowed to question things. I just had to go along with what he wanted, or there would be consequences. I knew Levi would never treat me like that, but it didn’t make the habit any easier to break.
“Mommy,” Luke groaned, hanging his head back, when he saw me. “You’re not sweeping.”
I chuckled, walking over to them. “Am I not allowed to wake up?”
Levi’s gaze ran over me, something in it charged when his eyes met mine. “Morning, sweetheart,” he said over the rim of his coffee mug.
The words danced along my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My foot missed the rung on the barstool and I nearly fell to the ground. I laughed it off awkwardly, not missing Levi’s knowing chuckle. “Clumsy today.”
He set his coffee mug down, bracing his hand on the counter.
I mapped the vein curving up his bicep with my eyes.
The urge to trace it with my tongue had me crossing my legs.
I’d never been so…horny, for lack of a better word.
Not until now, until him. But Levi was hot.
Hot in that ‘you didn’t see it coming’ kind of way, but once you noticed, there was no unseeing it.
And I’d noticed it about two minutes into knowing him.
Just like I was noticing him in all his shirtless glory now.
“Tess.”
“Huh?” I said too loudly.
Levi smirked. “I said you seem distracted, too.”
“Oh.” My chest flushed with heat. Busted. “I guess so.”
“Mommy, go to bed,” Luke ordered. “Me and Wevi are making breakfast for you.”
“Yeah, you should go to bed and think about what’s distracting you so much.
” My mouth popped open. He’d never been so outright flirty with me before.
It was a side of him he’d kept perfectly hidden behind kind smiles and sweet words until two days ago.
I didn’t know how to react to it, so I just stood up, my legs a little weak.
“You two are so…so…bossy,” I stammered.
Levi chuckled. “I’m just taking orders from this one,” he said, tilting his head at Luke.
“Go, Mommy!” Luke demanded, growing impatient. “You’re gonna mess it up.”
“Okay, okay,” I laughed, backing away with my hands up in surrender. “I’m going.”
Not even five minutes later, Luke came running into the bedroom with a cup of orange juice in his hands and a smile so wide I thought his face would split.
“Be careful,” Levi’s voice came down the hall right at the same time orange juice sloshed over the rim, splashing onto the floor.
Luke went stock still, staring at me wide-eyed while standing over the mess.
Levi rounded the corner, holding a tray in his hands.
He stopped short when he saw the mess on the floor.
Luke backed away when he came into the room. “I’m sorry, Wevi! I didn’t mean to,” he rushed out, his chin quivering.
I was halfway out of bed to clean it when Levi shot me a look, shaking his head.
My hands wrung the comforter, watching with bated breath as he squatted in front of my crying son.
He set the tray down gently. “It’s okay, buddy.
You aren’t in trouble,” he said softly, ruffling his hair.
“Accidents happen. Want to help me clean it up?” He grabbed a napkin off the tray, and they started wiping it up together.
When they were done, Levi tapped his knuckle under Luke’s chin. “See? All gone like it never happened. No big deal.”
“Yeah,” Luke whispered, glancing between us like he couldn’t believe it was that easy. That there wasn’t an explosion over his mistake because that’s all he’d ever known before we left Corpus Christi.
“Go take Mommy her juice,” Levi said, his voice soft. “But walk slowly so you don’t spill again.”
Luke looked at me like he didn’t know which way was up as he came over to me.
I cleared my throat, forcing a smile to ease him.
“Is this for me?” I asked dramatically to make him smile.
It worked, and he nodded. I took a big sip and fought a cringe.
“Soooo yummy.” It tasted like what I imagined battery acid would taste like, since I had just brushed my teeth.
“And this,” Levi said, coming next to us and setting the tray over my lap. There was a small stack of purple chocolate chip pancakes and bacon on the plate, along with a small vase holding a few red tulips.
“We made the pancakes your favorite cowor!” Luke giggled.
“I see that. I love it so much.” My smile was real now. I’d never gotten breakfast in bed before. “Where did you get the pretty flowers?” I asked Luke, brushing back his curls as he cuddled in next to me.
“Those are from me, actually,” Levi said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
My heart did a few skips in my chest. “Thank you,” I said softly. “They’re beautiful.” I’d never been given flowers either. Levi was ticking off a lot of firsts for me this week, it seemed.
He gave me one of his sweet smiles that I adored, climbing into bed next to me. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” I adored that, too.
We put on Bluey for Luke, his favorite show, while we all picked off the tray. After a few episodes, I realized I had nestled into Levi’s side, using his arm as my pillow. I sat up quickly. “Sorry,” I whispered, blushing.
I didn’t know when it even happened. It was as if we had naturally migrated to one another. I felt so dumb. We hadn’t even talked about us yet, and here I was cuddling with him like we were a real couple. He probably thought I was ridiculous or clingy or something worse.
His hand tensed on my waist, stopping me. “No,” he said. “I want you here.” He reached out, brushing my hair off my shoulder. The gentle touch heated my skin, and knowing he liked cuddling with me warmed my heart.
Levi’s eyes softened, his gaze roaming all over me like I was precious to him. The TV show faded to the background until all I could focus on was him and the way he was looking at me. There was an apprehension in his eyes, like there was something more he wanted to say. Something important. Big.
He cleared his throat. “Tess, I…”
“You what?” I rasped, wondering if he could hear how fast my heart was beating.
He took my hand in his, running his thumb over my wedding ring.
He swallowed. “I…” But then the tenderness in his eyes vanished like the flip of a switch.
“I should clean up,” he said abruptly and got up, ruining the moment.
He grabbed the tray, leaving the flowers on my nightstand, and left without another word.
I stared at the doorway he just walked through, confused.
“Stay here,” I told Luke, who was so sucked into his show I didn’t get more than a dazed nod.
When I made it to the kitchen, Levi was braced over the sink, his head hung between his shoulders. I knew then I had to tell him how I felt and what I wanted. It wasn’t fair to him for me not to be honest, no matter how scary it was.
“Levi?” He glanced over his shoulder and started doing the dishes. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” he said, his voice tight.
But I didn’t say anything because I was a wimp. Instead, I just started handing him dishes to rinse and put in the dishwasher. It went on until the silence was almost painful, and my head hurt from how hard I was thinking of what to say.
“Normally, the person who asks to talk does the talking,” he said finally, shooting me a tiny smile with no sign of the tension he gave off when I walked in here.
I wrung the dishtowel in my hands. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened Thursday, and I want it to happen again,” I blurted before I chickened out.
A fork slipped out of his hands and clanged loudly against the stainless steel sink. He grabbed it quickly and practically threw it into the dishwasher. And when he stood, his neck was red, the color creeping to his ears.
“You said it could mean whatever I wanted it to mean, and I know what I want.” I took a step towards him, my heart going a mile a minute.
He was so still that he was bordering on statue-like.
“I want you, Levi. Us. This. Whatever it is. I’ve known it since that first time we got ice cream, but I was just too scared to say it.
We don’t have to be, you know, married, but I want to be with you. ”
He still wasn’t saying anything, so I just kept talking and twisting the towel in my hands.
“I don’t have a lot of experience with dating…
or…the other stuff. You could probably tell, but I want it with you…
the other stuff being, you know, stuff.” My eyes went wide at the ground.
I cannot believe I just said that out loud!
I palmed my forehead, my face hot. “This is coming out wro—”
Levi snatched the towel in my hand, yanking me to him. “You know I love it when you ramble,” he said before crashing his lips to mine.
I melted against him instantly, the towel dropping to the floor between us when I slid my hands into his hair.
He picked me up and set me on the counter, standing between my spread legs.
My head fell back with a breathy sigh as his lips trailed along my jaw.
“I want it, too,” he rasped against my neck, and my nails dug into his biceps. “And I want it all, babygirl.”
My heart soared, and I grabbed his face, bringing his lips back to mine. This kiss was slower, deeper, more intense in ways I’d never experienced before. I felt him in every breath I took, in every beat of my heart. I loved him so much I was nearly bursting with it.
We broke apart, breathing hard. He grabbed the nape of my neck, making me look up at him. His gaze was intense, serious, as he said, “I’m a greedy man when it comes to you, Tess. Anything you want to give me, I’ll take.”
His words reverberated through me, jumpstarting my heart.
I brushed my thumb along his lips, loving how soft they felt and how they made me feel so many things.
I could tell him I loved him now. Really lay it all out there.
He said he’d take anything I wanted to give, and I wanted to give him this—the truth.
“I…” I swallowed, catching my breath. But what if I said it, and he didn’t feel the same? I settled for a half-truth. Baby steps. “I like you. A lot.”
His smile was dazzling, both dimples out. “I like you a lot, too.”
I draped my arms over his shoulders, interlocking my fingers. “So, does this make you my boyfriend now? I don’t know if that’s technically an upgrade or a downgrade, considering we’re already married.”
He laughed. “It doesn’t matter to me,” he said, caressing the apple of my cheek. “Just as long as I’m yours.”
“Only if I’m yours, too,” I whispered, kissing him again because he was my boyfriend and I could do that kind of thing whenever I wanted now.
He ran his hands up my legs, his thumbs dangerously close to where I was beginning to ache. I shuddered at the near touch. “We can wait, you know,” he said, his voice rough. I tilted my head, not following. “For sex.”
“Oh.” I looked away, embarrassed. “If that’s what you want to do.”
Levi grabbed my chin, making me look at him.
“I want you safe. I want you comfortable. And I want you sure,” he said, driving each point with a kiss that made me dizzy.
“That’s all that matters to me.” He kissed along my jaw.
Once. Twice. Then a third time that made me arch into him.
“There’s plenty of other things we can do until then,” he rasped, slipping a hand between my thighs as I spread them.
“That right?” I didn’t recognize the raspy seductiveness of my voice, but I liked it, and the way Levi’s grip tightened on my thigh told me he did too.
“Yeah, sweetheart, that’s right.” He let out a shaky breath, staring at his hand moving between my legs.
My eyes fluttered shut when he found my clit over my pajama bottoms. “I’ve had plenty of time to think it over in the last month that I’ve been obsessing over you.
The list of things I’ve imagined doing to you is… long.”
A breathy moan left me, and I leaned back, planting my hands behind me on the counter. “Did any of those things entail you making me come on the kitchen counter?”
He licked his lips, his chest heaving. “Maybe.”
He reached out, brushing his hand along the curve of my breast. I gasped when his thumb ran over my hardened nipple. “Want to check it off your list?”
“Fuck yes,” he answered instantly. His eagerness made me smile.
A giggle bubbled out of me before I could stop it. “What if Luke comes in here and sees?”
Levi’s mouth curved into a seductive grin. “Then I guess I better get to work.”