50
Phoenix
I woke up slowly, the warmth of the morning sun filtering through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. But it wasn’t the sun that held me in place—it was the warmth of Parker’s arms wrapped around me, his chest pressed against my back, steady and strong.
His hand rested against my stomach, fingers twitching ever so slightly in his sleep. I glanced down and caught the glint of the fidget ring he always wore. The one I bought him. He spun it constantly when he was restless or distracted, and knowing he still wore it, even now, made something soft and warm unfurl in my chest.
For a moment, I stayed still, savoring the feeling of being held like this. Safe. Secure.
I hadn’t expected to feel so at peace waking up in his arms. Last night had been innocent, comforting even, and yet as I lay there, wrapped in the scent and presence of him, a new craving rippled through me—something deeper, more intense than I had felt before. I bit my lip, trying to push it away, but the more I tried to ignore it, the stronger it became.
His arm was still draped over me, his fingers lightly resting on my waist, and I could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing. My heart beat faster in response, and I couldn’t stop my body from reacting to him, from leaning back slightly, pressing myself closer against him.
He stirred behind me, his grip tightening ever so slightly. For a moment, I thought he was still asleep, but then I felt his breath on the back of my neck, a soft exhale that sent a shiver down my spine. “Phoenix…”
His voice was low, rough with sleep, but there was something else there too—something that mirrored the heat building inside me.
I shifted in his arms, turning slightly to face him. His eyes were half-open, watching me with a mixture of surprise and something deeper. There was no denying the pull we felt to one another, not when his gaze dropped to my lips, not when I could feel the tension thrumming in the small space between us.
Neither of us spoke. We didn’t need to. The air was thick with unspoken words, with everything we had been holding back. And then, slowly, as if testing the waters, Parker’s hand moved from my waist to my hip, his thumb brushing against the fabric of my shirt. The touch was gentle, but it sent a wave of heat through me, and before I could stop myself, I closed the distance between us.
Our lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, but it didn’t stay that way for long. The moment our mouths touched, something ignited between us, something that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. Parker’s hand slid up my back, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss as if he couldn’t hold back anymore.
I melted into him, my fingers tangling in his hair as I kissed him back with a desperation I hadn’t realized was there. His lips were firm, warm, and when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further, a soft moan escaped me. The sound seemed to spur him on, and before I knew it, I was on my back, Parker hovering over me, his body pressing into mine in all the right ways.
His hands were everywhere—sliding down my sides, grazing my hips, pulling me closer as if he couldn’t get enough. And I couldn’t either. Every kiss, every touch, only fueled the fire inside me, making me crave more of him, more of this.
“Phoenix,”
he murmured against my lips, his voice rough and filled with need. “Tell me to stop if you want—”
“Don’t stop,”
I whispered, cutting him off before he could finish. I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t want to think, to overanalyze. I just wanted him. Right here. Right now.
He groaned softly, his hand cupping the back of my neck as he kissed me again, harder this time, more urgent. His other hand slid beneath my shirt, his fingers skimming across my bare skin, sending shivers of pleasure through me. I arched into his touch, my body responding to him in ways I couldn’t control.
For a moment, it was all-consuming—the heat, the need, the way his lips moved against mine, the way his hands explored my body as if he were memorizing every inch of me. And I wanted to lose myself in it, to give in to the moment entirely. But then, just as quickly as it had started, Parker pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against mine as we both tried to catch our breath.
“Phoenix,”
he whispered again, his voice low and filled with something that made my heart race even faster. His thumb brushed against my cheek, and I opened my eyes to find him watching me, his expression torn. “I… I don’t want to rush you. I need to know you’re sure.”
I stared up at him, my chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. How could I not be sure when every fiber of my being was screaming for more of him? But at the same time, I knew what he was asking. He wasn’t just asking for permission to keep going—he was asking if I was ready. Ready for this, for him, for the consequences that might come with it.
“I’m sure,”
I whispered, my voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside me. “I want this. I want you.”
His eyes darkened at my words, and for a moment, I thought he might kiss me again. But instead, he let out a soft, shaky breath, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”
I smiled, my heart swelling at the raw honesty in his voice. “Then show me.”
And he did.
His hands moved to my waist, pulling me against him, and I could feel the hardness of him pressing into me. My body responded instantly, a heat pooling low in my stomach. I tilted my head back as his lips trailed down my neck, his teeth grazing my skin in a way that made me gasp.
“Parker,”
I moaned, my fingers tangling in his hair. He hummed against my neck, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through me. There was something so raw in his expression, so open. He was giving me all of himself in that moment, and I wanted to do the same.
He climbed over me, his body hovering above mine, and I reached up to pull his shirt off. He helped me, tossing it to the floor, and then his hands were on me, pulling at my clothes until we were both bare. His skin against mine was everything—warm, firm, real. He kissed me again, his hands roaming my body, exploring every curve. I arched into his touch, my own hands tracing the lines of his back, feeling the muscles tense and flex beneath my fingers.
When he finally entered me, it was slow, deliberate, and I cried out at the feeling of him filling me completely. He paused, giving me time to adjust, and I looked up at him, my eyes wide. “Don’t stop,”
I whispered, my voice breaking. He kissed me again, swallowing my moans as he began to move, his hips rolling against mine in a rhythm that felt like it had been written just for us. It was overwhelming, the way he made me feel—like I was the only person in the world, like there was nothing else that mattered but this, us.
His hands found mine, our fingers intertwining as he lifted them above my head, pinning them gently to the mattress. His movements became more urgent, his breath hot against my ear. “Phoenix,”
he growled, my name a plea, a prayer. I tightened around him, my body coiling with pleasure, and he groaned, his grip on my hands tightening. His knot rubbed against my clit as he held back from fully knotting me—not that I would have minded
“I’m close,”
he whispered, and I nodded, my own climax building, ready to crash over me. “Come with me,”
he said, and I did, my body shattering around him as he cried out my name, his release meeting mine. We stayed like that for a moment, our bodies still connected, our breaths mingling. He kissed me softly, so sweetly it made my heart ache.
◆◆◆
Coming down the stairs that morning, I spotted Kage waiting in the kitchen, his dark eyes following my movements as I grabbed a mug of coffee. His presence was quiet, but there was something different about his energy today. He wasn’t usually the one who initiated one-on-one time with me—at least, not like this. But today, there was a certain softness in his gaze that made me pause.
“Morning,”
I said, taking a sip from my mug and leaning against the counter.
“Morning,”
he replied, his voice low and steady. After a brief pause, he stood up straighter, his hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. “I was wondering… if you’d want to go out with me today? Just the two of us.”
I blinked, a little taken aback but pleasantly surprised. “Go out? Where?”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his lips curving into a small smile. “There’s a place I want to show you. Somewhere that’s… special to the pack. We haven’t taken you there yet, but I think you’ll like it.”
“Okay, I’m in.”
A couple hours later, we found ourselves driving through winding country roads, leaving the familiar territory of the pack’s land far behind. Kage’s hand rested on the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road ahead, but there was a quiet tension in the air between us. Not the uncomfortable kind—more like anticipation. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I trusted Kage.
When we finally pulled into the parking lot of a small, nondescript building, I tilted my head in curiosity. The sign above the door read “Groove Records,”
and it looked like an old-school record store from another time. The windows were dark, and a “Closed”
sign hung on the door. I glanced at Kage.
“Are we breaking in?”
I teased, raising an eyebrow.
He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. “Not exactly. The owner used to let us come here all the time, back when we were just kids messing around. We weren’t a band yet—hell, we didn’t even know how to play half the instruments in here. But we learned, and this place became… I don’t know, like a second home for us. When the old man retired, his son took over, but he still lets us use the space whenever we want. Figured it was time you saw it.”
I followed him to the door, my curiosity growing with every step. There was something so personal, so intimate about this gesture. It wasn’t just about taking me to a place—they were sharing a piece of their history with me. It made me feel like I was being let into a part of their world I hadn’t fully seen before.
Inside, the smell of old vinyl and wood greeted me. The walls were lined with shelves of records, posters of legendary musicians, and various instruments were scattered around the room—guitars, drums, a keyboard in the corner. It was a small space, but it had a cozy, almost magical feel to it. Like it was filled with memories, echoes of laughter, and the beginnings of something special.
Kage watched me as I walked around the room, running my fingers along the edges of a worn guitar. “This is where you learned to play?”
I asked, glancing back at him.
He nodded, with a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. “Yeah. We were just a bunch of kids back then. Zeph, Parker, and I would spend hours in here, trying to figure out chords, writing terrible songs, and driving the old man crazy with how loud we were. But it’s also where I fell in love with music. Where I learned to let go of everything and just… feel.”
I could see it in his face as he spoke—the deep connection he had to this place. It wasn’t just a music room. It was a sanctuary. A place where they could be themselves, free from expectations, free from the weight of the world.
I walked around a bit more, my gaze lingering on a drum set in the corner before turning back to him. Kage had picked up an acoustic guitar from one of the stands, his fingers lightly strumming the strings as he sat down on a stool. He played a few chords, the sound soft and melodic in the quiet room.
“Do you ever sing?”
I asked, leaning against the wall as I watched him.
He looked up at me, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Not really. That’s more Zeph’s thing. He’s got the range for it. I’m more comfortable behind the guitar.”
I frowned, tilting my head. “But you have a nice voice. I heard you sing backup at one of the gigs. I think you should sing more.”
Kage hesitated, his fingers continuing to strum softly. “It’s just… not my style, I guess. I don’t have the same range as Zeph.”
I watched him for a moment, considering his words. “Why does it have to be about range? Sometimes, it’s more about the emotion you put into it. The connection.”
He looked up at me, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. And then, without saying a word, he started to sing. The song was soft, a love ballad I didn’t recognize, but his voice was smooth and deep, filled with a quiet intensity that sent shivers down my spine. His fingers moved effortlessly over the strings, the melody wrapping around us like a warm blanket.
I closed my eyes, letting the sound wash over me. There was something raw and beautiful about the way Kage sang, something that made me feel connected to him in a way I hadn’t expected. It wasn’t about perfection or technique—it was about the emotion he poured into every note. And for a moment, I forgot about everything else. It was just him and me, and the music.
When he finished, I opened my eyes to find him watching me, a hint of vulnerability in his expression.
“You really should sing more,”
I said softly, my heart full. “Your voice is… beautiful.”
He looked down at the guitar, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Maybe. For you.”
Those words, simple as they were, hit me harder than I expected. It wasn’t just about the music. It was about the trust he was placing in me, the way he was letting me in. And in that moment, I felt it—a growing sense of belonging, of being part of something larger than myself.
As Kage’s last note hung in the air, a stillness enveloped the room. I looked into his eyes, a mix of emotions swirling between us—appreciation, vulnerability, and something deeper. The gentle warmth of the music lingered around us like a cocoon, and I could feel my heart racing, caught in the moment.
A shy smile broke across his face, a rare sight that sent a flutter of warmth through me. I couldn’t help but lean closer, the urge to connect stronger than any fear I had held on to. “Thank you for sharing that with me, Kage.”
He shrugged, his expression softening. “It’s nothing, really. Just a song.”
“It’s more than that,”
I insisted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It meant a lot to me.”
And in that instant, something shifted. The air thickened with unspoken words, a connection that had been building finally breaking through. I leaned in, the distance between us closing as our lips met in a soft kiss. It was sweet, tentative, and electric all at once. A moment that felt like it had been suspended in time, where everything else faded away. Just Kage and me.
When we pulled apart, my heart raced, but I felt lighter somehow. “Thank you,”
I said, searching his eyes for reassurance. “For all of this. For today. It’s been… really special.”
Kage nodded, a soft look of understanding crossing his features. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re here.”
I felt a surge of courage rising within me. It was as if the kiss had unlocked something I had kept hidden for far too long. I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts, and before I knew it, the words started spilling out. “Can I share something with you? Something I haven’t told anyone?”
Kage’s eyes widened slightly, curiosity piqued. “Of course. I’m listening.”
I looked around the room, at the instruments that had witnessed countless moments of laughter, frustration, and creativity. This place felt sacred, safe. It gave me the courage to continue. “You already know I struggle… with addiction. For a long time, I tried to bury it, thinking it would go away if I just ignored it. But it didn’t. It took control of my life. I lost so much—friends, family, myself.”
As I spoke, I could feel the weight of those words pressing against my chest. I hadn’t shared this with anyone—not even Wren, who had been there through the worst of it. But with Kage, it felt different. There was no judgment in his eyes, just a quiet understanding.
“It was hard to admit,”
I continued, my voice trembling slightly. “And I’ve been terrified of not being good enough since then. Like I’ll always be that girl who couldn’t handle her life. I keep thinking that if I let anyone in, they’ll see that I’m broken.”
Kage’s gaze never wavered, his expression encouraging as he nodded for me to keep going. “I’m just so afraid that… that you guys won’t want me with all my baggage. That you’ll only see me as an Omega, not as Phoenix. Not as someone worth keeping close.”
“Phoenix,”
Kage said softly, his voice steady and calm. “You are so much more than just your past. You’re strong for overcoming what you have.”
His words wrapped around me, providing warmth and comfort I desperately needed. “But I don’t want to be a burden,”
I admitted, my heart racing as I let out the truth that had been festering in my mind. “I don’t want you or the guys to feel like you have to help me because I’m your scent-matched Omega. I want you to want me for who I am.”
“We want you because you’re you, Phoenix,”
he reassured me, his voice low but firm. “The past doesn’t define you. None of that does. We care about you, not because of your status, but because you’re part of our pack. You belong with us.”
His sincerity hit me like a wave, washing away some of the fears I had clung to. It was a revelation I hadn’t fully grasped until that moment. The Alphas genuinely cared for me, and it wasn’t just because of what I represented. I could see it in Kage’s eyes, the way he listened without judgment, the way he accepted my struggles as part of who I was.
“I’m scared,”
I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to fail again. I’m trying to be better, but it’s hard. I feel like I’m always teetering on the edge.”
Kage shifted closer, closing the distance between us. “That’s okay. You’re not alone in this. We’re here for you, every step of the way. Just take it one day at a time. If you stumble, we’ll be right there to help you back up.”
His words resonated deep within me, stirring something I thought had long since died out.
“Thank you, Kage.”
As we sat there in the quiet room filled with music and memories, I realized that this moment marked a significant step in my healing process. I was learning to trust again, to let myself be vulnerable, and to accept that I was worthy of love and belonging.
In that tiny music room, surrounded by the echoes of the past, I felt a sense of hope blooming within me. It was the first step toward building a future I had once thought was impossible. And with Kage by my side, I knew I could face whatever came next.