Chapter 12
Ambrose
“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”
I punctuated each word with the beat of my forehead against the bar top. Vincent sat next to me and patted my shoulder while Luna’s brow furrowed with concern. The rest of the tavern’s patrons carried on around us at a dull roar, not having witnessed my colossal failure with Evelyn.
It had gone so much worse than I could have imagined.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Vincent asked.
I hadn’t wanted to talk about it when I sat down next to him and ordered another drink. I didn’t really want to talk about it now, but the way Seraphina was side-eyeing me from behind the bar told me my time bemoaning my current predicament was almost up.
The full glass of ale was cool in my hand. I held it against my forehead as I considered what to say. Except for Vincent, these were Evelyn’s friends. I wasn’t sure how much I should tell them.
“We already know you’re competing for the position of Vesten historian.” Luna must have suspected my hesitation.
That, unfortunately, hadn’t crossed my mind at all this morning, which was a different problem. One that I did not have the mental capacity for at the moment.
Seraphina and Luna were protective of Evelyn.
I’d seen it multiple times. Most recently in the way they’d attempted to assess what was bothering her.
Evelyn might have left without answering their questions, but there was no way she’d make it more than a day without telling them what was going on.
They appeared ready to hunt her down if necessary.
That idea gave me some sense of relief as I spilled our shared secret.
“Evelyn and I accidentally bound ourselves together using blood magic.”
Vincent spat the drink of his Solstice Sip he’d just taken. His eyes widened as he turned to me. “You what?”
Luna rubbed his shoulder, but behind the bar, Seraphina looked contemplative. She reached for a rag and began wiping down the already pristine counter as if to find something to do with her hands.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“It means I can feel her absence right now.” And I could.
There was a distinctly uncomfortable pressure in my chest that had begun the moment she walked out the door.
“It means being apart is a strain on each of us in its own way. It means we have to work together to find a way to either break the magic, which I’m not sure has ever been done, or circumvent it, like we did with Luna’s inn. ”
Three sets of eyes stared at me. I couldn’t bring myself to meet any of them.
Vincent was the first to clear his throat. His words were hesitant; he was likely unsure of their reception by the females around us. “Isn’t this … exactly the kind of excuse you were looking for to work together again?”
He looked sheepish even mentioning it.
My hands were waving emphatically before I could think about how loud I was. “I did not magically bind us together so that I could spend more time with her! That is the epitome of recklessness.”
Seraphina’s hands were on her hips now. “What you seem to accuse her of quite frequently.”
I did do that. And I could admit that I had been no less reckless than she was with this.
My real failure wasn’t that we were bound together, or that my best friend seemed to think I’d done it on purpose because I needed an excuse to spend time with my colleague who hated me.
No, my real sin here was that I’d let her think it was all her fault.
It wasn’t.
Vincent apologized to Luna. “No, of course, I don’t think he’d do it on purpose to try and trap Evelyn. That’s not what I meant. I was just saying he could make lemons out of lemonade.”
“From the way she stormed out of here, it doesn’t seem like Evelyn wants to work with him on this at all.” Seraphina tossed the rag into the sink behind the bar and folded her arms across her chest.
My head hung. I needed to say something. I needed to do something. It was so distracting to have this emptiness—this awareness—pulsing in my chest. It was teetering on the edge of pain. That couldn’t be a good sign.
“She doesn’t have all the information. I have to tell her what I know, then she can make a more informed choice on whether she wants help.”
I couldn’t believe I’d sat silently while she spoke.
It was clear she was embarrassed about her feelings, even when they were beyond her control.
Mine, on the other hand. Mine were what got us into this mess.
I remembered so distinctly sitting in the chair she’d offered me at her carrel.
The chair she had kept hidden from me as one who might impose upon her quiet workspace with my inane questions about her tests.
Sometimes I annoyed myself with my worries.
Even as I questioned her work, I envied it.
It would be a little intoxicating to be the focus of her attention like that.
I’d been thinking how lucky those two flowers were to be bound together in that pot under her watchful eye.
As much as I pressed Evelyn on the details of her research using living things, I knew she was careful. But my father had been careful, too.
Her position on the dangers of blood magic made more sense than I cared to admit.
All of it was dangerous, since it hinged on intent.
My father’s voice flooded my mind as I considered it.
He always said it was more dangerous with living things because you were managing your intent and the test subjects. There were more variables to consider.
And wasn’t my current predicament proof that my father was correct?
A throat cleared. Seraphina, Luna, and Vincent were all staring at me. They must have asked me a question. I hadn’t heard it.
“What?”
“What do you need to tell her? What information do you have?” Luna asked.
It might have been Luna’s question, but I couldn’t help but notice the way Seraphina watched me.
Her hand curled into a fist like one incorrect answer would get me thrown out of the tavern.
Honestly, I had no doubt she could if she wanted to.
“I think I need to tell Evelyn first. But I promise I will do it first thing tomorrow.” I lifted my glass to my lips and tipped it back, emptying it.
The slight rush the alcohol brought wasn’t near enough to clear my head of the cycle it was fixated on.
My wolf growled in my head, but this time, I was pretty sure it was me he was angry at.
You did this. It’s your fault. And you let her think otherwise.
Letting her work with faulty assumptions was more dangerous than any of the tests I’d accused her of doing in the library. Maybe I needed to find her tonight. That tightness in my chest constricted. Finding her wouldn’t be a problem.
Luna and Seraphina shared a glance, likely deciding whether or not my answer was sufficient. It must have been. Or, at least, they could give me a day to try things myself. Surely, they would come after me with pitchforks should I fail to provide Evelyn with the necessary information promptly.
I pulled out some coins and left them on the counter as I stood. “I’ll take care of it.”
The words were more for me than anyone else.
“I’ll walk you out.” Vincent stood and gave Luna an endearing smile before following me through the busy tavern.
He pulled me to the side of the building as soon as we exited. “Are you alright?”
I considered my response as I took in the cool night around me.
Parkview Tavern was aptly named, surrounded by greenery.
The scent of the forest filled my nose as I took in a deep breath.
The twisting in my chest was still there, but it wasn’t getting worse.
I wondered if that meant Evelyn had made it home.
“I’m fine.” I sighed heavily as Vincent rolled his eyes at my reply.
He wouldn’t let me leave without more information.
“I was just embarrassed speaking with Evelyn earlier. She said she thought about me all the time. I thought she was…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it, even to Vincent, and he’d heard me say that I believed the Vesten God was a myth.
“You thought she was interested in you?” He somehow knew what I was hiding without my awkward attempt at an explanation. “You thought she was telling you she had feelings for you, like you do for her.”
I swiped my hand listlessly through the air. “It doesn’t matter. She confessed to a lot of feelings, none of which were under her control.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, Ambrose. If everything you’ve said is true, you have both magic and real feelings floating around in there somewhere.” He gestured to my chest. “Don’t presume to know about hers until you ask her about them directly.”
I shrugged.
As if realizing he’d get no more acknowledgment from me, he switched to an even less cheery topic.
“What did your father say about the competition?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “You are a bright spot in my day, Vincent,” I said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
“So, he took it well, then.”
“He just assumed I would win. And somehow my keeping up the appearances made him proud.”
I wished I could sort through my own feelings on the matter, but I was at my wits’ end with everything else.
Father’s opinions were colored by his accident.
Until then, he’d been as avid a blood magic researcher as Evelyn.
And honestly, not as good. Yes, he had reason to be scared, but I wasn’t sure that warranted dismissing the subject entirely.
If the Vesten Point and Lord Arctos were to be believed, they had needed to know about their blood magic connection in order to save the continent. That made learning about it seem a worthwhile investment to me.
Unfortunately, Lord Arctos’s problem and the competition for Vesten historian also weren’t at the top of my priority list. My bond with Evelyn was twisting me in knots. I needed to get some rest. Hopefully, that would clear my head, and we could start fresh in the morning.
“This will all work out,” Vincent said, giving me a small smile. “I’m sure of it.”
On one hand, I wanted to believe him. I considered him an expert in love now. Things had worked out so well for him. He’d gotten the girl and the job. Though not the position he’d originally wanted, his current one fit him even better.
When he’d originally made that stupid bargain with Luna, I told him he was biting off more than he could chew, especially when his wind magic took note of her. Clearly, I had been wrong.
But just because it worked out for him, that didn’t mean my disaster would have any silver lining.
Evelyn and I were competing for the same position.
One she wanted. One I had been training for most of my life.
We had to research a magical connection that was hundreds of years old, one that no one had even realized existed until recently.
On top of that, now we had to take a break from that work to find a way to sever the bond we’d accidentally formed between ourselves.
And I hadn’t even confessed the whole truth about how it was formed.
So, yeah, I was in a much worse place than Vincent had been when he struck his bargain with Luna. I’d be lucky if Evelyn still spoke to me if we made it out of this at all.