Chapter 30
Ambrose
In sleep, Evelyn reached for me, tangling every part of us together. First it was our fingers, and then our legs. She inched closer and closer to me throughout the night. I was more than happy to oblige until she inevitably woke me with more demands.
My wolf chuffed with contentment.
I had to convince myself this was real. That Evelyn was here with me, that we shared a bed—and not because of a shortage of rooms at the inn. I pulled our linked hands closer.
I could get used to this.
Of course I could. It was Evelyn. She was everything I’d never dared to dream of. I closed my eyes and breathed her in. Her scent was so distinct, so perfectly her—wildflowers and honey.
Still asleep, she nuzzled closer. I’d had her multiple times last night, but it was nowhere near enough. No amount of her would be.
Our connection transcended the magic that tied us together. Thoughts of the blood magic weren’t as painful after last night. Something had clicked into place. She was aware that our intent had nothing to do with our feelings for each other. She had probably figured it out long before I did.
Saying the words aloud had been freeing.
Even better had been the look on her face, the shared acknowledgement that there was something between us that had nothing to do with magic.
Well, maybe a little bit—but not the accidental bond.
My wolf and my fire reacted to her. I was now certain the same went for her veil cat and flame.
Our inherent magics’ draw to each other was further proof of what I knew: this thing between us was real.
The way we felt about each other might not be due to blood magic, but magical connections were why we were at Compass Lake. We needed to deal with our bond if our fledgling relationship stood a chance at success.
She had wanted me to burn the rope connecting us last night.
While at the time I’d been too distracted to do so successfully, as reason returned, I knew it was necessary for multiple reasons.
First, if we could burn our bond away, if that severed the connection, we could present it as an option to solve Lord Arctos and Carter’s problem.
Second, it was important that I decide for myself where I stood with blood magic.
I could no longer let Father’s view color mine.
It was like a ray of sun peeking through a cloudy day, to know Evelyn pushed this opportunity to me. That she had faith in me to decide.
My eyes drifted closed, and I pulled our linked hands to my chest. The heat of our connection guided me.
Previously, I’d been unable to find what she described—a more tactile manifestation of our bond.
This morning, it was as if the fire inside me mapped the most direct path to her, and the rope she described was the bridge.
It was still hard to believe she wanted me. I wasn’t sure I had ever wanted someone as much as I wanted her. My love of history had driven so much of my life. I’d never found anyone who not only shared my interest but pushed me to discover more. Evelyn did so without even trying.
The Vesten Point’s attention hadn’t gone unnoticed. Even if Lord Arctos’s response had been It’s not what you think. It was still something. I wouldn’t let it derail whatever this was, though. Evelyn was stingy with her wants, and she said she wanted me. A low growl escaped my wolf at the memory.
“Let’s give this a try,” I murmured to myself. At the connection point, my fire magic surged toward her.
It traversed but didn’t burn as it worked its way to the middle.
There was a knot there, just like she’d said.
Though I had talked a big game last night, the enormity of what I would attempt rushed through me.
This was not blood magic on inanimate objects.
It wasn’t even blood magic using plants.
Testing anything on this connection was dangerous.
It was blood magic at its most fickle. It was everything Father warned me against and everything I had been raised to fear.
The experiment that led to Father’s impaired vision had been less risky than this. I knew I should be rightly terrified about what I was attempting, but this morning, I couldn’t summon the anxiety usually present when working with blood magic.
I needed this. We needed this. I needed to choose for myself, and we needed to break the connection between us if we stood a chance at something real.
We couldn’t live our lives with forced proximity.
I’d give the magic credit—it had known what it was doing with our unstated intents.
It had pushed us to get to know each other, to stop assuming the worst. I didn’t know if anything less drastic than this connection would have driven us past our entrenched positions on blood magic.
It had done its job. Now it needed to go.
My thoughts lingered more on giving Evelyn and me a chance rather than fixing Lord Arctos and the Vesten Point’s problem.
Yes, I wanted the Vesten historian position, but it came with a whole host of responsibilities I hadn’t yet prepared for.
Conducting this experiment was a start, but did it mean I would press forward with blood magic study?
I thought so, but how hard would Father push back against my decisions?
Would I teach others that blood magic tests on plants were acceptable?
It would take time to find the path I was comfortable with.
I suspected Evelyn already knew what she would do with the position—knew the direction she would steer the Vesten Court.
There was really only one way to find out how all this would end. I turned up the heat on my flame and did what she’d asked of me yesterday, burning through the rope’s knot.
We both required space to breathe, like our fires; oxygen fanned the flames.
“And what is that?” she asked hazily, voice still soaked in sleep.
I must have been talking to myself aloud. “What is what?” I asked carefully, hoping she could fall back asleep.
She squeezed my hand, still pressed to hers, against my bare chest. “The next phase of our relationship.”
Everything.
I couldn’t say that. I’d sound like a crazy person. “One where you long to see me, not because of magic but because you can’t stand to be away from me.”
Her lips curled into a soft smile in the morning light. The rays of the sun seemed to stop in their tracks as they fell into her dark brown hair. “That sounds nice.”
I turned the heat up a little higher on my flame. The rope between didn’t fray. My control of my fire was as absolute as my control of my wolf. This shouldn’t be so difficult. I focused, breathing in and out as I tried again.
The heat intensified, and it felt like smoke poured from the rope, but the knot remained.
Maybe Evelyn needed to be the one to do it?
She had learned the other control we’d practiced together so quickly; she could learn this, too.
Disappointment flared with my flame. The cause might have been my failure at this task, or it might have been thinking of the Vesten Court’s failure of Evelyn.
Even with her father missing, someone should have helped her with her magic.
The Vesten needed to get past their discomfort of sharing information about their shift with those they deemed outsiders.
Thinking of Evelyn’s not-so-missing father tied me in knots.
We hadn’t discussed that last night. I still thought I had made the right decision.
She deserved to hear everything from him, not me.
I hoped Evelyn would speak with him before we left.
Who knew how long we’d be staying? This trip felt more and more like one of Lord Arctos’s whims than a calculated requirement for the project we’d been given.
I jolted as a knock sounded at the door. “Mr. Yarrow.”
No, not her door, my door. Someone was knocking on the door of the bedroom I was supposed to be in.
Evelyn’s eyes snapped open as the knocking continued.
“Mr. Yarrow.” There was an expectation in that voice that only the Vesten God had perfected.
“I can distract him, tell him I heard you leave on an early morning walk,” she whispered.
Was that what she wanted? “I—”
“Of course, if you think Lord Arctos’s sarcastic comments about us were his way of hinting at our repressed attraction, and that this trip was partially an experiment to see if he could help us along, I’m also fine simply answering the door and telling him you’re here.”
Gods, I loved her.
Oh, my gods. I could not be thinking that.
I cleared my throat. “The second one sounds preferable.”
She smiled sweetly and slipped from the bed. I regretted that either action took her from me, but we were at Compass Lake. Ostensibly, we had work to do. I pulled on my clothes while she did the same, then opened the door.
“Can we help you, Lord Arctos?” she asked, sticking her head out into the hallway.
I couldn’t see his face, but I could tell from his voice that was precisely what he wanted to hear. “We, you say? Have you taken Mr. Yarrow captive in there?”
She huffed, and I was sure she rolled her eyes at the god. I had no idea where she got the courage.
I pulled the door the rest of the way open, summoning the same strength she had. “I can confirm I’m here willingly.”
Lord Arctos’s eyes danced with mischief. “I’m glad I’ve found you both. Carter has an errand to run. He wanted to know if you needed him for any tests before he left.”
I was about to say we didn’t need him. My test had failed; without it, we had nothing to test on the god and Compass Point. But at Lord Arctos’s comment, Evelyn’s spine straightened like she’d had a thought.
“We should have you two test one thing, if you have time.” She glanced over her shoulder at me. “You were able to find the knot this morning, correct?”
Of course she’d noticed.
“The knot?” Lord Arctos’s eyebrow raised. “If this is a kink, feel free to keep it to yourselves.”
This time, I did see her roll her eyes. I answered her question with the necessary details: “I couldn’t burn it, though.”
She bit the inside of her lip like maybe she’d expected the response. “I think it’s the location.”
Why hadn’t I thought of that? Part of Lord Arctos’s reason for our trip was that location mattered with magic.
Our current location meant nothing to our connection; it was the first time Evelyn had been here.
“Compass Lake would be a location of importance to the connection between Lord Arctos and Carter.”
She turned back to Lord Arctos. “We need you to test something at the lake.”
The god looked giddy. He shifted into a bird and flew away without another word.
“I think that means he’s going to collect Carter?”
She shrugged. “We should at least have them check that they have the same type of connection.”
“You don’t want them to try and destroy it?” I thought I knew where this was going.
“I’d rather test that part with us first, if you’re still amenable,” she said. “It feels unconscionable to test breaking it on a god and the most powerful Vesten of our generation.”
I let out a breath. “I completely agree.”
“So, you want us to stand in the lake and see if we can feel a physical manifestation of our connection?” Lord Arctos glared over his shoulder at Evelyn.
He had collected Carter and brought him to the beach outside of Vesten House.
The god didn’t sound amused, but Evelyn didn’t wither under his appraisal.
“That’s right.”
The lake was quiet and as still as glass. Was it like this every morning? I couldn’t imagine a more peaceful way to greet the day, except maybe waking up with Evelyn Knowles in my arms.
“You must have missed my skepticism of your idea since I mixed it with sarcasm,” Lord Arctos pointed out.
Evelyn’s hands were on her hips now. “I did not.”
Carter laughed. “She doesn’t seem to care, Arctos.”
Lord Arctos batted away Carter’s words the same way he usually flapped his wing against my face. At least he acted that way with everyone.
Carter finally took control. “What kind of connection are we looking for, exactly?”
Evelyn glanced at me. While she had no concerns speaking to Lord Arctos of our connection, she was hesitant where the Vesten Point was involved.
“She doesn’t want to admit that she and Mr. Yarrow, on top of being brilliant researchers, have also managed to magically bind themselves together while working on our little problem. She can describe what to look for in detail, but it will be a reflection of their bond, not ours.”
I ran my hand through my hair. Lord Arctos could be correct.
It wasn’t that Evelyn was embarrassed by our relationship.
She was embarrassed by our stupidity with blood magic.
We were supposed to be presenting our best selves to the Vesten Point so he would select one of us for the Vesten historian position.
It made sense she wouldn’t want to air our magical blunders.
“Technically, Lord Arctos is correct,” Evelyn stated matter-of-factly. “The connection between Ambrose and me is a rope, with a knot in the center. I imagine the magic grows over time. Yours will likely be something even more stabilizing.”
Her words rolled over me, but they paled in comparison to the reminder that there was still only one Vesten historian position. I had pushed aside those thoughts this morning in favor of my and Evelyn’s future. But would our relationship survive one of us being named historian?
This experience had helped me find my own perspective on blood magic, but I already had one on the court’s history.
I also knew Evelyn would consider it a betrayal if I didn’t give the competition my all, if I didn’t keep searching for the answers.
Our relationship only stood a chance if we could continue to push each other—it was part of what had always worked between us.
We had to keep going. Not just because it would break our bond, or because one of us would win the position, or even to fulfill the project Lord Arctos had assigned, but because it was what I loved to do. It was what she loved to do, too.
But could our fledgling … romance survive the Vesten Point’s decision?
I swallowed thickly.
Evelyn glanced at me. She must have finished her explanation. Lord Arctos and Carter stood in the water facing each other.
“Should I hold his hand?” Lord Arctos asked.
“Do what feels right,” Evelyn said with a smile.
I would do anything for that smile. I would even compete with her for something I knew she wanted. I would challenge her the way she challenged me. I would have to trust that she would want me exactly as I was.