CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
COURTNEY
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Seeing Zander look so hopeful was the nudge I needed to confess we won’t be welcoming new life into the world.
I feel bad.
What’s worse than letting down one man—even if Adam’s a monster? It’s letting down two.
The doctor walks in, and Zander introduces us.
“Sorry to waste your time, Doctor.” I smile. “I am not pregnant, but Zander is insistent.”
“It’s not a problem. The wife put Bridgerton on for the seventeenth time, and while it is a remarkable show...seventeen.”
Zander lets out one of his masculine short laughs, and I feel sad that soon he won’t be in my life. I adore him in many ways, even despite the stupid comments he’s made. I loved waking up with him both mornings, making him breakfast, snuggling on the sofa and talking instead of watching the shows.
We never ran out of conversation; only the need for food and delicious sex stopped us.
“As I mentioned on the phone, we’ve had a positive pregnancy test, but Ms. Blackmore doesn’t feel it’s accurate.”
Ms.
Ms., not Mrs. While I don’t mind, I’m sure the doctor knows who I am, given my face has been in the media recently.
“Well, we can clear that up in a few minutes. Let me open my bag,” the doctor walks to the kitchen counter and starts pulling things out. “The definitive lab results will take a day or two, but these quantitative hCG blood tests are more accurate than the basic urine strip test you would’ve done.
Zander glances at me, looking concerned. I’m worried about him and how disappointed he’ll be.
I give him a small smile.
“Let’s get you up here,” the doctor points to the stool and asks me to hold out my finger. He pricks it and then focuses on his device, which looks like a chunky smartphone.
“Five minutes, and we’ll have an answer. Let’s check your vitals.”
Zander leans nearby, his black T-shirt snug tight against his muscular frame. He looks so different from how he does in his expensive suits.
One day, another woman is going to be in my position, and the two of them will discover they are having a baby.
She will be lucky. I didn’t mean what I said earlier.
I’d love to have a man like Zander Sterling look after me and be protective of our children, loving us the way I know he would until the day he dies.
I feel more tears brewing when Zander’s blue eyes drift to mine and lock. The intensity in which he holds them, his brow ever so slightly dipping in concern, makes my heart flutter.
With want.
I want this man.
I’m not even divorced, and yet I can’t pretend any longer that what this is between us is just crazy chemistry. It’s much, much more. Despite my flooded eyes, I force on a smile, taking this moment, even though we’re not alone, to enjoy our last connection.
I see the same emotions within him, and my heart misses a beat.
It can’t be.
Does Zander feel true feelings for me? Are we falling in love? Or is he swept away with believing I might be the mother of his children, even after what I shared with him.
“Vitals are good,” the doc says. “You seem healthy. Heart rate is up a little, but under the circumstances, that seems right.”
We stare at the device.
“Okay, what do we have here?” The doctor lifts it.
My heart thunders inside my chest.
Zander moves, leaning over the device, and then his face snaps up and stares at me with such intensity I almost fall backward.
Oh God.
What is it?
“Yes. Okay,” the doctor says like he’s having fun drawing this out. “Looks like...”
For the love of God!
“It’s positive,” Zander rasps, his voice raw.
I glance at the doctor, my brows so high on my forehead it's painful.
He nods. “Positive.”
“Oh, my God.” I wobble, and Zander is there in an instant, helping me off the stool.
“Whoa, let’s get you on the sofa.”
“Oh, my God,” I say again as I sit, my brain goes into freefall. “Oh my God.”
I hear the doctor and Zander talking, and stare blankly as he walks him out, like I’m in a fish tank. The doctor says goodbye, and it sounds like woodwhy wortny, fa wests will bwe bwack smomorw.
I’m pregnant?
I’m pregnant.
I’m PREGNANT.
OH MY GOD, I’M PREGNANT WITH ZANDER STERLING’S CHILD.
How the hell did this happen?
Zander walks back in, smirking, and crouches before me. “Would you like a glass of water?”
Blink.
A hand reaches out and brushes against my cheek, suddenly snapping me out of my haze.
“Zander, I’m pregnant!” I gasp, almost unable to breathe.
“I know.” He grins. “We’re having a baby, sweetheart.”
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ZANDER
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I SHOULD BE freaking out, but I’m not. All I feel is this sense of rightness. As if this was always going to happen, but I had to let it unfold. Which makes me sound way more ethereal than I am. Trust me.
I’m going to be a father.
A little Zander or Zanderette...we can work on names.
From the moment I met Courtney Blackmore I wanted to dislike her. Make her fit into the mold I had of women divorcing uber rich men for their money. She didn’t fit.
She kept her shameful secret to protect both her pride and her husband’s, never using it as she could have as a weapon during their divorce. Adam could have also, but deep down he knows he was the problem.
Courtney never allowed herself to put the blame on him because that’s not what controlled people do. Unless that’s what caused him to get violent with her that day.
“Why aren’t you mad?” she asks, reaching out and grabbing my T-shirt.
“Because I’m happy,” I sit on the sofa and pull her into my arms. “Aren’t you?”
I can feel her heart beating a million miles an hour and try to calm her by running my hand over her back.
“I don’t know how I feel.” Her face tilts, and awe replaces her shock. “Zander. I’m a mother.”
I smile, emotion blasting through me.
“Yup. I’m going to be a father.”
“But what about us?” Courtney asks. “Where does that leave us?”
Easy.
I know my friends are going to have a field day for the rest of my life about this, but I don’t give a flying fuck.
“I’m marrying you. Soon as your divorce is settled, we’re getting married.”
She gasps.
I’m a little insulted, honestly. All my life, women have gone to great lengths to hook me into serious relationships and discuss what the future could look like. No one, and I mean no one, has even slightly tempted me.
The woman I choose looks horrified.
Not how this moment, which I never imagined, would go.
“My God, you can’t just say something like that, Zander. You have to ask.”
I smirk.
Is that what she wants? Romance, flowers, the big fucking diamond?
“You haven’t even said you love me?” Courtney smiles, and it's so damn pretty I nearly let her get away with being so sassy.
“I put a baby in your belly!” I point out. “How much more loving can you get?”
“Diversion much?” She tries not to laugh.
We both grin at one another.
“Are we in love?” I ask her, twisting her around so we’re totally facing one another. “I don’t know if I know what love is?”
Courtney bunches her lips and nods. “Same. My parents were addicts; Adam was controlling and not the man I thought he was. So, what is this? We accidentally got pregnant. I don’t know if that’s the road to a happy marriage.”
“Or,” and I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this out loud. “It could be fate.”
“You said, and I quote I’m not the man you marry next. I don’t want to be a father...my wealth is locked up so tight not even the government can touch it.”
Ah, yeah, I did say that, and it deserves an honest explanation.
“Yeah, well, I had a friend in college marry a woman who we think killed him for his billions.” I shake my head. “Sandy, the obsidian snake.”
“Obsidian like your company name?” Court asks.
“Yeah, all of us have used the name in honor of Jack so we don’t forget. One day we will prove she was guilty of his death.”
I’ve gone off track here and I can see her confusion.
“My point is, I never trusted marriage or love or women from that point on, and my parents are so intellectual I don’t think I’ve ever even seen them hug.”
“Better than arguing and hitting one another.” Courtney shakes her head.
“Is it?” I study her face.
“I don’t know. Both are horrible. Would we do those things to our child?” Courtney asks. “Because I want it to have a happy, loving home. I want that for me.”
If I thought I didn’t love her before, I realize I’m falling madly in love with her now.
“Court, we aren’t broken people. We’d never hurt our kid. Are we perfect humans? No. This week I’ve barely been able to focus, not having you in my arms. Yes, I needed to know if you were pregnant, but that was only half of it. Having you in my arms feels like the earth’s axis righted itself.”
“Since when did you get romantic?” She smiles.
“The moment my cock slid inside you.”
“Less romantic.”
“I’ll work on it.” I lean in, almost kissing her. “We can wait if you want, and we’ll probably need to work out the timing due to the ethics issue, but I want to marry you.”
“For me or our little bean?” she places her hands on my face. “Because we can do this as single parents.”
I place a hand over hers. “Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
She doesn’t.
“Marry me,” I say.
A smile breaks out on her face, water pooling in her eyes.
“Is that a yes?”
“I’m not divorced yet, silly.” She tries to giggle but the tears win.
“If that’s all it takes, you leave it to me. By Monday you’ll have your divorce.” I grin against her lips. “I’m the shark, sweetheart. Now, let’s go to bed and see if we can make them twins.”
“That’s not how it works.” More giggling.
“Humor me.” I lift her off the sofa, bridal style, and carry her down to the bedroom.
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COURTNEY
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WHO IS THIS man?
The father of my child.
Holy hell, I’m pregnant. I’m still in a state of shock—not only because I’m carrying Zander Sterling’s baby, but also because he asked me to marry him.
I’m not taking him at his word today because we are both living in a bubble of emotions. Still, it felt nice having him gaze upon me with such wonder and what he claims is love.
And I think I love him back.
I’m just terrified to trust it.
My attention returns to my body as Zander places me on my feet and begins peeling my clothes off gently. I’m growing a baby. Inside me.
A life.
A little child.
One that we will meet in the future months, and it will run around and grow into an adult.
Obviously.
I’m just...letting it sink in. Into reality.
Wow, so it was Adam all along. Or my body rejecting his seed, like God didn’t want me to create a child with him. Protecting both of us.
As Zander reaches behind his head, ripping off his T-shirt and then his jeans, my palm slides over his ripped abs and our eyes lock.
Lust and desire plow through me.
Gosh, he’s going to be such an amazing daddy. Whether he knows it or not, even when he was being a jerk, he has protected me from the very beginning. I’ve never felt unsafe with him as I have many other men, and the confusing pull to tuck myself under his arm and stay there makes sense now.
Was this always meant to be?
Is that how life works?
I don’t know, and I’m not questioning it. Joy begins to creep tentatively into my heart as Zander brushes my hair from my face and kisses me gently.
Why is he being so careful with me?
Oh!
Nope, that’s not happening.
I pull my lips from his and grab his face with both hands. “You better fuck me like you did every other time, Zander Sterling, or we’ll be having words.”
His nostrils flare.
“Yes, ma’am.” He grins, then lifts me, wrapping my legs around his body as we crash down onto the bed. “Now do you want my mouth on your pussy first or my cock deep in there?”