Chapter Twelve
Maddy
I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move.
A strange beeping sound had infiltrated my dreams, and a bright light was flashing behind my eyes.
Someone started prying my eyelids apart and I reached up to bat them away.
That’s when the searing agony hit me and I gasped.
Choking followed the gasping. There was something in my mouth, down my throat. I panicked, clawing at my face.
“No, Madison, leave it. You need that to help you breathe, honey,” someone soothed, a voice I didn’t recognize. That didn’t calm me down.
I wrenched at the object, tugging and felt it moving in my chest which panicked me more.
Eventually it was removed with a gagging cough and I gasped for air.
My eyes flew open, my chest on fire, breaths rasping heavily.
I couldn’t stop coughing, like I needed to shift something in my lungs but it wouldn’t go.
The ceiling that must have once been cream was stained yellow in places. The beeping continued and I glanced down. I was in a hospital bed, a pale blanket covered my legs, one was free and the other was in a thick cast, all the way up to my hip.
“Oh God,” I began as I touched it, my voice broken and rough. Another round of coughing took over.
“Maddy?”
I glanced up and saw Daddy and Leo either side of me, both of their expressions pale and drawn, eyes ringed with dark circles.
The nurse next to me moved aside a machine and, judging by what she was tidying up, it had been a breathing tube.
My right hand clasped my throat and then I spotted the bloody gauze on my arm.
I tried to screech as the agony erupted up my forearm, but all that came out was a throaty rattle.
Leo moved to my side, grabbing my free hand. He squeezed tightly, distracting me.
“You had an accident while on a job,” he said. His mouth, which was usually smiling, was pulled into a tight line. I looked back and forth between him and Daddy, who nodded in agreement.
“Wha—” I couldn’t get words out.
“Don’t try to talk, sweetie. You’ve inhaled a lot of smoke. You’ve got some burns to your throat, so you need to rest.”
I swallowed, the glass shards in my throat stinging, which had my breath catching with pain.
“Len?” I rasped. “Bea…Beamer?”
“We’re here, boss,” a gruff voice called and I peered around my dad and found both men in the doorway, still in their gear. Len was my lieutenant and affectionately called me boss because of the way I ordered him around at the station.
Len had a sheepish expression on his grizzled face and Beamer looked like he wanted to kill me.
I remembered what happened. Some teenage kids had started a fire in a dilapidated warehouse.
Len and Beamer had gone in first to check for anyone stuck inside while we tackled the rising blaze with the water cannons.
When part of the structure collapsed, I heard them both cry out over our radios. My heart leapt into my throat; instinct took over. I went in after them.
The smoke was so dense, I could barely see two feet in front of me.
When I heard a noise, I called out, asking whoever it was to make that noise again and praying it was my fellow firefighters.
I followed the cry and found one of the teenagers, who couldn’t have been more than fourteen, cowering in the corner, choking and trying to back away from the smoke.
I hurried over, desperate to get him away from the flames and judging by the soot caked around his nostrils and mouth, I didn’t have much time before the smoke inhalation caused permanent damage.
Sweat dotted my brow under my mask from the suffocating heat, the pressure, and the fact that I still hadn’t seen Len or Beamer. I mentally counted back from ten to keep myself calm, my focus was on getting everyone out safe and sound, and that wouldn’t happen if I gave into panic.
My eyes flew around the room; I spotted a path to the exit. I steered the teenager past burning debris, and outside I handed him off to the waiting paramedics.
“Len, Beamer, do you copy!” I shouted into my radio.
I waited for a few harrowing seconds, watching the building crumble and collapse.
I locked eyes with Paul, a fellow firefighter and he shook his head at me, his eyes warning not to risk it.
Instinct screamed at me to stay outside, stay safe, my fight or flight impulses warring with each other.
But I could never leave my team behind, so steeling myself, I ran back inside.
The heat was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.
The flames churning, the crack of them deafening.
The fire had grown out of control now that the air was feeding it.
I had seconds left. I was so busy hunting along the ground for my men, or any other survivors, that I didn’t spot the blazing wooden beam falling.
It cracked against my back, knocking the wind from me and I hit the concrete floor.
The beam pinned me, crushing my leg and the last thing I remembered was seeing more debris coming towards me. I must have been knocked out.
“By the time we got to you, the fire had spread and it was trying to take you. I think the uniform saved you from the worst of it, but your arm was already in flames when we found you,” Len said.
I looked down. I’d been burned, not enough to sear off the nerve endings which was a relief, although I could feel every inch of the burn and it was pure agony.
“Goddammit, Maddy! What were you thinking coming in there after us? I’ve taught you better than that!” Beamer snapped.
“Easy, Beam,” Daddy warned. He and Beamer played poker together and were good friends.
Beamer, contrary to his name, was not a ray of sunshine.
He was gruff and grumpy, but he was courageous with a big heart and as our Captain, he led our team with pride.
He was secretly my favorite of all the guys at the station.
“We’re…we’re a team, Beam,” I rasped, offering him a weak smile.
“You’re a poet and you don’t even know it,” Len offered, trying to lighten the mood but Beamer was unmoved.
“It’s the job, Beam. You know that. If I have to make my peace with it, then you sure as hell do too,” Daddy said and put an arm around Beamer, steering him out of the room.
Len shrugged. “He’s a softie. It’s because he thinks of you like a daughter. You gave him a scare.” Len looked away. “You gave us both a scare.”
“And me,” Leo muttered, still squeezing my good hand.
“I’ll let you get some sleep, hope you get better soon, Mads. We’ll come back and see you when shift is over.” Len lifted his helmet at me in goodbye. “And, thanks.”
“Anytime, buddy,” I replied and then proceeded to cough.
“Why you trying to talk, Cartwright? For once, keep quiet, eh?” Len winked and then left.
Daddy came back into the room, that broken look on his face, the one he’s carried since my mom died. “You need anything, honey?”
“Water?”
He looked to Leo who shook his head. “Right, I’ll be back.” And then he was gone, leaving me with Leo who I could feel practically vibrating with restrained anger beside me.
“I won’t apolo…apologize,” I spoke quietly, my throat laboring with each word.
“Fuck Maddy!” Leo shouted and I jumped, then flinched as pain radiated up my arm. He shot me an apologetic look. “I can’t even be freaking mad at you, because this is what you signed up for! Do you know how scared I’ve been?”
“I do. If I ha…have to watch you get att…attacked by bu…bulls…” I broke off as a coughing fit took over.
“Stop talking, Tough Girl. And I don’t get attacked. But I know how it feels to be worried about someone you love, trust me. It’s why I can’t be mad at you right now, no matter how much I want to be.” He paced, before turning and giving me a fierce look, and I reveled in his open emotion.
Most people thought Leo was Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky, and he was, but he was always guarding his expression. With me, he let it down.
He stalked back to me but tempered his emotions when he reached for me, cupping my cheeks. “You scared me,” he whispered. I covered his hand with my good one and nodded, my eyes squeezing shut.
“I’m okay.”
Daddy came back and Leo pushed away from me, heading over to stare out the window and watch the sun come up. Dad held a cup of water out and put the straw to my lips. I took greedy pulls, the cool liquid soothing my sore throat.
“I calmed Beamer down, but I can’t do anything about your sisters, they are spitting mad,” Daddy said.
I let out a throaty chuckle.
“I’m not going to do the whole you gave me a scare speech because you know you did.
I’ve had to make my peace with this career of yours, and I knew this day would come.
I’m just grateful it’s not much worse,” he said, glancing down my body and back to my face.
“But I’m really fucking proud of you honey, for saving that kid. ”
I chuckled again. “You said fuck.”
“You girls make me say fuck quite a bit,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to my hair. “But I wouldn’t have you any other way. That poor kid though, he’s alive but he’s in a hell of a lot of trouble. I’m glad I’m not him.”
“Good,” Leo grunted from his spot by the window.
Daddy frowned over at Leo but didn’t say anything more. I gestured to him to leave the room, my eyes flicking to Leo again.
“I’ll go find a doctor to come and look at you,” Daddy said, then left.
“Hey, Cowboy?” I called.
Leo’s back muscles bunched, then he turned to face me. “Yeah?”
“Love you,” I said.
He huffed, somewhere between frustration and a laugh. “Love you, too.”
“I bet when you thought…that you would pick me…up this morning, it wasn’t going to be at the…hospital.”
“Can you stop trying to talk please? You’re stressing me out.”
I reached out for him and he came over. I gripped his hand tight, marvelling at how huge his were compared to mine. “You never get stressed out. Mr. Cool, that’s you.”
“You stress me out,” he shot back. “Always have, always will.”