Chapter Nineteen
Maddy
How had the last month flown by so quickly?
I had hoped that ever since Leo told me his amazing news, time would stand still or at the very least have the decency to slow down a little. This was the fastest month of my whole dang life and I was not happy about it.
I’d also spent the entire month trying to ignore the inevitable. Outside throwing Leo his leaving party, which was tonight, I had managed to ignore that he was leaving at all.
It’s like I’d felt it coming for months and had been frantically trying to prepare myself for it. I had been dating like a motherfucker, as though I was trying to find a man who could replace him when he eventually left, like my self-preservation was kicking in.
No man could replace Leo, so I don’t know why the hell I was trying so hard.
A tiny part of my heart broke the day he told me about Canada.
Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled for him. He’s earned this like no one else. He’s sacrificed so much in his career and I was ecstatic that he was finally getting a chance to go and achieve his dream. Nobody deserved it more than him.
But did it have to be so far away? And for so long? Why wasn’t there a local tour he could get on? Did I need to go and set one up myself?
Six months. Minimum.
I hadn’t spent more than a week away from him in twenty-two years. I didn’t even know what life without Leo looked like. Did I even want to know? Not really.
Anyway, I shoved down my fear, my devastation, and powered through with being happy for him. Because I was. Really.
It’s only six months in the grand scheme of things but I knew it would extend.
This opportunity would do so much for him.
He’d finally be able to show the world his talent and fearlessness.
And when the right people saw it, he would get on another tour, then another and then before I knew it, two years would go by, and he still wouldn’t be home.
I’d seen it happen. Seen women heartbroken, saying goodbye to their cowboys.
Not that it’s the same, we’re obviously not a couple. Still, he was such a huge part of my life. It was Leo for God’s sake. But he wasn’t my cowboy. So why did his leaving feel so hard?
“SURPRISE!” we all screamed as Jack pushed Leo through the doors of The Lonely Bison.
The grin that split Leo’s lips had my stomach clenching. His eyes met mine and Maddy’s Dimple appeared. A sob caught in my throat. When would I next see that dimple?
“Keep it together,” I hissed to myself.
Leo sauntered over to me, a swagger in each step that had my pulse pounding, my mouth drying. The sheepish grin that lifted his lips on one side was kinda cocky and a whole lot sexy. He dipped his head, putting us nose to nose.
“When are you going to stop throwing me surprise parties, Tough Girl?” he murmured.
I shook my head, my grin matching his. “Never, Cowboy.”
He looped an arm around my shoulders and tugged me against him in a fierce hug. I buried my face in his chest, fisting his t-shirt in my grip and trying to smother the tears that had been permanently at the surface for the last month.
“Enough! Time to celebrate!” Max shouted.
There wasn’t a huge crowd of us, just our closest friends and family, along with a couple of the guys from the rodeo circuit that Leo knew. I’d left Dustin off the invite.
Then Leo’s mom was tugging him away. He glanced at me over his shoulder, an expression I couldn’t read on his face.
I spun away before I let him see how upset I was. I’d been doing such a good job of being happy for him. Of masking my anxiety at him leaving. Just one more night and then I could fall apart.
Tilly sidled up next to me. My youngest sister was now seventeen and almost as tall as Kat with hair just as blond.
Despite being underage, Max had agreed to let her come to the bar tonight to celebrate, provided she didn’t touch a drop of alcohol.
It was a reluctant agreement on his part and judging by the look on Tilly’s face as she watched him serve drinks behind the bar, she was enamored with him.
“Stop staring,” I hissed.
She flushed. “I was not,” she hissed back.
I winked. “Sure.”
“He’s so old and…gross,” she said but let out a dreamy sigh that suggested she didn’t feel that way at all.
I laughed. “Sure he is. He’s so old and gross that you’re drooling a little bit.”
She quickly wiped her chin and then glared at me when her hand came away dry. “You’re a dick.”
“Tough talk for someone with hearts in her eyes,” I teased, nudging her.
“Would you quit it! Shh, he’s coming over!”
“Ladies, what can I get you?” Max asked, placing two coasters on the bar in front of us. He ran a hand through his wavy chocolate-colored hair, the piercing in his brow glinting in the twinkly lights of the bar.
“Tequila please,” I answered.
“And for you?” Max asked but didn’t look at Tilly.
“Uh,” she began.
I watched as the pink tint in Tilly’s cheeks deepened and a flush crawled up her neck.
“Uh…”
“She’ll just have a root beer,” I interrupted, unable to watch the teenage awkwardness any longer.
Max nodded and turned away to fetch the drinks and Tilly ogled his back. I couldn’t blame her, it was a very nice back. So broad and you could see the outline of muscle through his tight black t-shirt that was tucked into his jeans.
“You’re welcome,” I whispered to Tilly when Max placed the drinks down and headed off to serve someone else.
“How do I get him to notice me?” she asked, her brows drawn in desperation.
I frowned. “You wait until you’re much, much older.”
“I’m not that much younger than him,” she mumbled, playing with the straw in her bottle.
“You just said he was old and gross,” I countered.
She looked over at him, watching him move around the bar from under her lashes, like she was scared to stare directly at him. “He is. But he’s only…twelve years older than me.”
“And that’s why you’re staying away from him. Come on,” I sighed, tugging her over to the mechanical bull that Gertie was trying to coax Tate to ride. Tilly handed me her drink and, Max forgotten, elbowed Tate out of the way, leaping over the barrier and onto the bull.
The bull started slow and Tilly held tight, her long limbs wrapped around its sides, her thighs gripping tight. There was no way she was falling off. She’d been spending a lot of time at the arena with Leo recently, wanting to get into bull riding herself.
Lord, if Daddy was still alive, he’d have another heart attack at the thought of his baby girl getting on a bull.
Gertie was cheering Tilly on, and I glanced around for Leo to see if he was seeing how talented Tilly was.
Catching his eye where he was talking to Jack, I jerked my head towards Tilly, and he looked over my shoulder.
His eyes widened when he saw how long she stayed on while the bull tried to buck her off.
I turned away, leaving him to his chat with Jack but a moment later, I smelled his scent, felt his heat at my back and fought the urge to lean back against him.
“She’s doing better than me. Maybe I should give up my seat on this tour for her,” he joked.
I laughed. If only.
Eventually Tilly clambered off the bull, wobbled on her feet slightly but otherwise kept her balance. Next, Gertie pushed Tate onto the bull, then everyone took turns. When Leo got on, the crowd gathered, ready to see how long he lasted. At least I was allowed to watch this. And watch I did.
The bull started slow and Leo played up to the crowd, acting like it was a struggle to hold on. Then as the bull sped up, his grip on the bull’s head tightened, along with his thighs, his jeans pulled taught, showcasing the thick trunks of muscle and flesh.
His body twisted this way and that, his white t-shirt molding to his torso, teasing us with the outline of his abs and his pecs, which I suddenly wanted to sink my teeth into.
His hips slowly rolled into the motions of the bull, flowing easily.
Leo leaned his forearm down onto the bull’s neck and flipped himself around, riding reverse.
The move drew a cheer from the crowd, and he flung everyone a grin, every inch the showman.
Leo and the bull found a rhythm where instead of the bull bucking against him, they were moving in tandem and dear God, why was this so hot? It’s a good thing I didn’t come and watch him normally if this is how arousing it was.
Then, just as I was expecting him to finish, his palms landed on the back of the bull and he pushed up, leapt around one hundred and eighty degrees and was facing the other way. Another flashy move to impress everyone which totally worked. There was hooting and hollering all around.
When I didn’t think I could take any more of watching my best friend and lusting after him like some silly buckle bunny, he jumped off and someone else took his place.
He high-fived a few of his rodeo friends and then made his way over to me. His face shone with a light sheen of sweat but he wasn’t even panting. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated and if I wasn’t mistaken, he was a little drunk.
“If that’s how you ride drunk, then I feel more confident in you lasting eight seconds,” I said.
He laughed. “Honey, I can last longer than eight seconds.”
His eyes met mine, twinkling with mischief that was so familiar to me, it caused an ache in my chest. The longer we stared at each other, the thicker the air grew until I felt like I could barely breathe.
“Wanna get out of here?” I asked, my voice husky.
His throat worked in a swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he nodded. He took my hand and tugged me out of the bar.
Neither of us said anything but we both knew where we were going. We walked to Redemption Ranch in silence, his hand still holding mine.
He lifted me over the fence into the north pasture.
I could have climbed it myself, but I kinda liked it when he manhandled me, like I weighed nothing.
The pasture was empty at the moment and I knew he wanted to do something we’d done as kids; lay in the middle of the grass and look up at the night sky, watching the stars.