Chapter Nineteen #2
We trekked across the land, his hand still tightly gripping mine, nothing but the sound of our boots swishing through the grass.
Eventually he stopped and sat, pulling me down beside him.
Laying back in the grass, I peeked over at him, the moonlight glow casting a shadow across his handsome features.
I turned my attention back to the stars.
Silence lay in the narrow space between us. A comfortable silence, but full of emotion. Once again I bit back the word I wanted to unleash.
Stay.
He pushed out a breath. “I’m really gonna miss this place.”
A sneaky tear slid out my eye and I brushed it away quickly. “It’s only six months, Leo.”
“I know.”
Silence reigned again. Then a shuffle in the grass startled me before his warm palm closed over mine. I linked our fingers and his thumb stroked over my skin.
“Are you scared?” I whispered.
He turned towards me. “Of leaving?”
I nodded.
“Yes. And no.” He faced the stars again, his expression tight. “I’m scared to leave my family, but excited at what lies ahead for me.”
“I’m excited for you, too. But don’t be scared, I’ll take care of your family.”
“And who’s going to take care of you?”
My throat tightened as I scoffed. “I can take care of myself, you know that.”
“I do.”
I turned to him. “But who’s going to take care of you?”
“Frank, I think.”
We both laughed. I loved hearing Leo laugh, his deep, rich boom. My laughter subsided to a chuckle and I thumped his side.
“No, I mean seriously. I feel like I’ve been taking care of you and looking out for you all our lives.”
Leo pshed at my words.
I squeezed his hand tight in reprimand. “Oh yeah, Mr. Dismissive? Who tried to talk you out of mounting a wild bull in this very pasture?”
He groaned. “You did.”
“And when you broke your arm doing the stupid thing I tried to get you not to do, who helped you?”
“Look if we’re going over each other’s past mistakes then we’ll be here all night."
“Something wrong with that?”
His eyes clashed with mine. The intensity of his stare had heat blooming between my thighs, spreading until I felt a pulsing in time with my heartbeat. His tongue swiped out over his plump bottom lip, and I saw the white flash of his teeth as he fought a grin.
God, I wanted him to touch me.
I wanted to beg him to stay.
To love me.
Wait, what?
No. Oh no. Absolutely not.
I broke the tension, needing to change the direction of my thoughts. “Does your arm still kick out when you touch that weird bump?”
“No.” He pulled his arm away quickly.
“I can tell you’re lying.”
“I ain’t lying.”
“Liar liar, Wranglers on fire.”
I rolled on top of him, reaching for his arm and also tickled his side. His solid chest began to shake beneath me.
“Maddy, stop!” he gasped out in between laughs.
“I wanna find it,” I grunted, out of breath from wrestling him just like we used to.
He wrapped an arm around my waist and rolled us in the grass.
Pinning me underneath him with his hips, he held my arms above my head to stop me from tickling him.
I spread my legs and he dropped into the cradle, the momentum startling him and I used it to my advantage.
I heaved my arms up, pushing him off me while wrapping my legs around him, twisting us so we were on our side.
I fumbled for his arm and found the bump, pressing it and his arm shot out.
“Maddy!” he yelled and I laughed so hard. It didn’t hurt him, it was like a weird reflex that he now had after breaking his arm all those years ago. He’d said before it kinda tingled and tickled when he touched it, like there was a slight bit of nerve damage.
I ducked out from under him, launching myself to my feet and started running because I knew he would get me back for that.
“I’ll give you a head start!” he shouted.
I was out of breath, but I could feel him behind me.
Hear his breath, his sturdy footfalls pounding through the pasture as he chased me.
The anticipation of him catching up to me had my heart racing, adrenaline pumping and my legs working harder.
Then I was off my feet. He lifted me in the air like I weighed as much as a feather.
I shrieked with glee as he tossed me higher.
“Leo! Put me down!”
“Why?” he laughed. “You love it, you little daredevil!”
He tossed me a couple more times, catching me effortlessly, then held me against him, both of us breathing hard. I slapped his chest, my hand bouncing off the muscle.
“Show off,” I tutted.
Leo laughed again then put me down, my boots landing on solid ground, but I felt shaken to my core. The boyish grin that graced his face was of pure joy and I loved that I could bring that out in him.
He turned and started walking back through the pasture, but I ran after him and leapt onto his back, wrapping one arm around his neck, draping the other down his chest. He locked his arms under my knees, accepting my wordless demand for a piggyback.
I rested my head against his neck, enjoying the peace as he walked us back. As I realized we were getting closer to the ranch, my peace faded. His shoulders had grown hard and tense under my cheek and his pace slowed right down, like he didn’t want us to reach the ranch either.
Suddenly, Leo stumbled, tripping over his feet and we tumbled to the ground in a heap of limbs.
“You ok?” he asked, brushing my hair back from my face.
“Yep,” I replied, my voice wobbly with emotion at his softness.
I had a sneaking suspicion he had done that on purpose to delay our return.
His thumb lingered on my cheek, brushing over my skin, the callouses scraping slightly.
The knowledge of how much I would miss him had my throat tightening and eyes watering.
He leaned in closer, and I couldn’t hold in the tear that slipped free. He wiped it away and with an anguished groan pulled me to him, pressing our foreheads together, his breath coasting over my lips.
“Ask me to stay,” he said, his voice gruff.
I shook my head.
“Ask me to stay, Maddy.” His tone was part demand, part plea.
I wanted to. God, I wanted to in a way he would never understand. It was taking every ounce of my willpower not to beg him to stay, to never leave me.
I wanted him to kiss me. To strip my clothes off in this pasture and sink inside me. To wrap my thighs around him while he slowly rocked into me, driving me crazy until I whimpered into his mouth as he made me come so fucking hard.
Fuck, I wanted him to stay. To explore these feelings that were new but also not new. And see if he felt them too. But it could ruin everything and I couldn’t cope if I lost him.
And he deserved so much more than this town where he could never reach his full potential.
He had taken such good care of me, my father and sisters over the years, now it was his turn to go out and take advantage of the opportunities his hard work had afforded him. I would never take that away from him.
I wanted him to have the world.
“Never, Cowboy. You’ve got bulls to ride and rodeos to win.”
There was a long pause before he eventually nodded. I pushed my forehead to his and he pulled back, wrapping his arms around me tighter and pressing his lips to my head.
Leo forehead kisses were the best.
We stayed in the pasture for hours, watching the sun rise in silence, just enjoying our last moments together. When the sun was high in the sky, we walked back to his apartment, and I sat on his bed while I watched him pack.
“Maddy,” he sighed, when he glanced up and saw the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. “If you need me, just call me and I’ll come back.”
I shook my head. “I won’t need you.”
I was determined not to fuck this up for him. Not to be the anchor around his neck any longer, keeping him in this town out of obligation. I was a tough woman, but I’d been a mess he’d had to clean up for too long. Too many losses he’d had to get me through.
Wiping my tears, I cleared my throat and pulled myself together, helping him finish packing.
“Can you just swing by every now and then and check the place is okay?” he asked, holding out his spare key.
I gripped it tight. “Of course.”
Then we were locking up his apartment, walking down the stairs and hugging goodbye at his truck. I didn’t know who squeezed who the tightest. I liked that he didn’t treat me like I would break, that he put his whole strength into me.
He pulled back and brushed my hair off my face, then gave me a shaky smile, tears welling in his eyes.
“Call me when you get there?” I asked.
Leo nodded. “Goodbye, Maddy.”
He kissed my forehead again and before I could say anything, he was pulling away from me and getting in his truck, driving off.
I stood in the road and watched him go, my heart splintering in my chest. No, ‘see you later alligator’ one-upmanship, this was too raw.
It was a long time before I turned around and started walking back to the ranch.
My phone rang and I pulled it out of my back pocket, wondering who was calling me. I chuckled as I answered.
“Miss me yet?” his deep voice rumbled down the line.
It had barely been an hour.
I choked back a sob of relief. “You have no idea.”