Chapter 8
The way the thick tires hug the asphalt as she follows the curves of the road. Gentle rumbling of the engine, purring with approval, feeling free along the winding path she drives. The way the grill sucks up the warm fresh air, breathing the relief as if it were flying in the sky. Passing the mountains on one side and gently teasing the ocean with her looks on the other side. The way the leather interior smells against the salt breeze.
The way his shoulder muscles move while paddling through the water. Wet droplets fall down his defined back all the way to his swim shorts. His gaze captures the sun and shines through my soul.
Shit! “Nope, nope… nope. Crap.” I drop my wrench on the ground as I’m lying under my girl. Doing everything I can do to keep my mind off of him, but he is slowly being burned into my brain. He’s popping up everywhere I go.
“Hey, Collins. You good?” Leland pokes his head from the front.
“Yeah,” I sternly say, as my voice echoes off the metal frame.
A large hand grasps my ankle and drags me from under my car. Leland stands over me with a worried look. More of a “dad” look to be fair. His extra-large frame casts a gigantic shadow, blocking out the fluorescent lights from the ceiling. His arms cross around his chest, cocking an eyebrow at me. He tied his long hair up on the top of his head. Little flyaway hairs curl away from the mop on his head.
“Come on. Out with it,” he says.
I scrunch my nose up at the thought of trying to talk to him about what’s been going on in my head. “What do you mean?” Maybe he can let this go.
“You’ve been dropping tools; pinched your finger when fixing the car. You are not this clumsy or distracted.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I’m not particularly eager to talk to Leland about this, about any of this stuff, or anyone, if I’m completely honest. Victor’s words still hold a weight over my head.
Huffing like a petulant child, I finally cave. “Leland, am I someone worth dating?”
“What?” He takes a step back. Clearly, it was not something he expected.
This was a mistake. I need to backtrack. Change the subject—something, anything other than this line of conversation.
“I mean… um… do you know anyone who can do a professional paint job on my girl? I’d like her to look perfect.” I’m still lying on my back and I just look up and reach for the bottom of the frame to drag myself back under the car. Nice save, Collins.
“Collins.” Leland’s comforting voice pauses me. So does his boot on the creeper. This rickety undercard roller has seen better days. If Leland presses harder, then it’ll break for sure.
“Damn it. Just forget I said anything.” I roll off the creeper and quickly stand. My feet are eager to get away.
Leland grabs me by my upper arms and drags me backward. “No, no. Sit.” Leland shoves me down in the tire pile. “Where is this coming from?”
The dad voice has me pursing my lips. “Um…”
“Collins. Don’t lie or change the subject. We are talking about this.” He points to the ground. His voice remains calm and composed.
“This stays between us? And you aren’t going to lose your shit?”
“Always and no promises,” he reassures me.
I take a large gulp of air before continuing on. Arching my eyebrow, I decide to be honest. “So, guys don’t usually stay around.”
“I’ve noticed.” He nods. If there is anyone who can understand that statement, it’s him.
“Well, one person recently said to me, ‘Who would date you?’ and it got me thinking.” I can see him clench his jaw and his fist tighten into a firm ball to where you can see the white of his knuckles. “No! Don’t do that. You want to talk then we talk, but don’t go big brother crazy.”
He shakes his head and groans. “I need a fucking beer if we are going to have girl talk.”
“Oh, grab me one!” I say, a little more excited than I probably should be.
He grabs a couple and throws one toward me. He pops his beer, quickly chugging it, then tossing the can into the recycle. Dragging another beer from the fridge, he walks back over and drops next to me on the rubber tires.
“Get it out. Spill your beans.”
“Why doesn’t anyone stay? Am I that bad?”
“Why do you think it’s you?”
“Well, any guy I’ve dated hated that I know more about cars than them. Or they didn’t like I chose you and Lawson over them. I’ve been asked to leave you guys or the shop. I just couldn’t bring myself to even entertain that idea.” Shamefully, I admit.
“They asked you to leave?” he sounds astounded.
“Yeah. They said I could make more money at a different shop or thought I spent too much time here at the shop.” I laugh at the memory of Jason. We only dated for a couple months, but he tried to persuade me to pack up my tools and move to the larger island. He explained I acted like a child who couldn’t leave the nest. He tried to convince me that Leland and Lawson didn’t need me. What about my mom? “It’s not like she remembers you, anyway.” Just for that comment, I told him to jack off and then left. I ghosted him after that.
“Collins, I have to apologize. I’ve never asked you what you want out of life? Sorry about that, but if you wanted to leave, we would support you. I worked my ass off so you could have a life. For you to do what you wanted.” He takes a sip of his beer while giving me a side-eye, gauging what my crazy self might do.
“I know that,” I assure him.
“So, what do you want out of life?” he asks.
“More than anything?”
“More than anything,” he mocks me.
Well, I’ve already dug my grave of being honest. This is girl talk, after all.
“I want to see you happy again. When Taylor was here with you, I honestly can’t ever remember a time when I saw you smile and laugh more. We had the best times. Then, poof, he was gone. I focus on Leland a bit more. I want to see Lawson sable. He and Massey went on a date, and I think she’d be good for him, but I’m worried about what he might do.”
“Why do you worry about us, girl?” Leland asks.
“Because who else will? You also worry about me.”
“I admit, I’ve been pretty sad since Taylor left for his job. It’s been a long time. I loved ‘em, but like you, I wouldn’t leave you and Lawson. Lawson needs more assurance than any of us combined. The thought of anything beyond this garage hasn’t even crossed my mind, nor will it ever.”
“So? What does that mean?”
“Well, my guess is we will probably grow old and have rooms next to each other at the facility mom is at,” he laughs hard. “We would cause so much havoc to the nurses. You’d steal everyone’s wheelchair,” he accuses.
“Lawson will hide your teeth,” I giggle alongside my big brother. I lean my head on his shoulder while draining the last of my beer.
“You’ll disable the vans so they won’t be able to leave.” He chokes out a hoot.
“I like that plan.” A future memory to be made.
“Me too.” A somber silence fills the room. “With all of that, if you and Lawson ever wanted to up and leave, better yourself, or do whatever you want to do… you know I’d support you. I don’t say it enough, but I love you, baby sis.” His heartfelt admission has my insides flipping with admiration. I crawl on his back and give him a Collins backpack hug. He groans but doesn’t sling me off. “If anyone says you aren’t worth their time, kick ‘em in the junk.”
“Deal.” I nod my head.
“You are the smartest, kindest person on the island. Make the bargain deals; you take on mom and her condition. I can’t sit in that quiet room just staring at the wall. You haven’t given us any crap about not being as active with her. You are amazing, little sis. Don’t ever think you are anything less than exceptional.” I can feel my head getting big with all the compliments I’m not used to hearing. “All the customers love it when you work on their cars. Whatever you want in life, you should have it.”
“Well, damn man.” I squeeze my forearms around his neck and press my cheek against his. I am clinging to him like a kola.
“What?”
“You are a lot smarter than you look. Such depth.” I purse my lips, trying to resist a laugh bubbling under the surface.
Leland howls and pulls my arms from around his shoulders, dragging me over his shoulder and onto the floor. “I’m retracting my statements!”
“Can’t! It’s been heard!” I tease.
“You are impossible.” He shakes his shoulders.
“Yet… loveable. You said it.”
“I’ll always love you.” He gives me his best Leland smirk. One that pulls one over on the old women who try to set him up with their daughters.
“Same to you, old man.” I match his smirk as I’m still laying starfish on the cement floor.
“I’ll find a painter for your girl.” He offers and steps over me, heading to the front to close up.
“Thanks!” I squeak. “And thanks for everything else.
Leland waves over his shoulder and continues to the front. I roll to my stomach and crawl over to my girl, leaning on her copper-rusted frame.
“We’ll be okay.” I rest my weary head on the door.
With that, I grab my tools and put them back in their rightful place. By this time, the sun has settled and I’m feeling better after my conversation with Leland. However, still caught up in my head, I decide I need to get out and let off some steam. Cruising home for a quick shower and deciding I need a change for the evening. A cold beer from town is the perfect change of scenery.
Tonight, I decided to get a little dressier than normal. I put on some wedges, makeup, matching with a lace crop top and cutoff jean shorts. Swapping my flip-flops for wedge sandals that give me some height. It makes my legs appear thinner and longer. Five-foot one barely registers as a normal height on a good day. And just for one night, temporarily, I can lose a piece of myself that is tired of being in control.
Walking through the woodsy tiki bar with distressed timber and palm leaves covering most of the interior. The salty sea hangs heavy in the air for a subtle coziness. I pass Paul, the bartender. The music and guests are extremely loud tonight, so I give him a nod and hold two fingers up in the air. His head ticks toward me, and I thumb over my shoulder, showing him I’ll be outside, away from the crowd. I drop a twenty on the distressed bar top and slip out the back to the outdoor patio that leads to a beach area. Everyone inside seems so preoccupied with socializing. I felt it was a mistake coming out. A server appears with my beer and hurries back inside.
I see beach chairs set up around a fire pit and another set closer to the water, making it a perfect spot to enjoy the local craft. Leaning down, I pull the ties of my sandals and slip my wedges off my feet. I roll my ankles to stretch them out, then step off the concrete into the fine sand. It engulfs around my feet, and I release a sigh of contentment. This, this is heaven. I walk to the couple of chairs by the ocean and plop down on one chair. My eyes close and take in the beach waves, tenderly touching the sun-kissed sand. I love the feeling of my toes curling in the soft powder.
A clinking of a beer bottle being set down next to me brings me back to reality. Thinking it’s the server delivering my second beer, but I am met with the most perfect hazel eyes known to man.
“Mind some company?” Victor pins me with a stare. An almost hopeful look has me second-guessing everything in this world.
“Um, no.” comes out as I gesture to the seat next to me.
He looks over his shoulder, and my eyes follow. Two women have their sights set on him and watch his every move. I can’t tell if they are confused, pissed, or jealous.
“I think your girlfriend or friends are not happy you left them.” I point back toward the bar.
He slumps into the chair next to me and gives one last look before moving his chair closer to mine. Now I’m the confused one.
“Dear god. All they talk about is hair and nails.” He lies his head back on the chair and has a laugh. “I’ve been trying to ditch them all week. They keep popping up everywhere I go. Then I saw you walk in and figured you could scare them off.”
I groan. “I know how you feel. You keep popping up on me. And get this, nothing has scared you away.”
His puffing chest brings a sense of playfulness. “Ah, check.” He nods, bringing the neck of the bottle to his picture-perfect lips.
“Check? As in - almost checkmate?” I tease.
He sits forward, dumbfounded. “You’re a chess girl?” His eyes dive deep into mine.
For a moment, I drown in the connection between the two of us. “Yeah. I used to play with Leland.”
“Interesting,” he whispers.
A knot in my stomach pulls a little tighter. “What?”
“You are an anomaly, Collins. I’ve only encountered strong-willed women, stuck-up heiresses, or women who are looking for someone to take care of them. You have busted every expectation I’ve had about women.” The honesty of his words hit me. Hard.
Trying to get away from any serious talk, “Ha, didn’t get out of the country club enough, huh?”
“No. Business always came first in my family.” He holds his beer up above his head. “Be better than the next person. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you; you take advantage of them. Don’t let them see you choke,” he mocks.
I stay still listening to him absently minded talking about himself. But this is a different talk. Like a small piece of his wall is exposing his past.
“I came to Hawaii for business. The sunshine and sand seem so… so…” he’s trying to find the right words. I lean closer, clearly invested in what he has to say. “Dirty.”
I lost it. A cackle explodes from my chest, and my hand jerks the beer, causing some liquids to spill from the top.
“Oh, that’s good! Then, I come along covered in grease and dirt to solidify your assumptions.”
“You did!” He points, laughing harder. “It’s all so dirty!”
“No, it’s beautiful here.” I defend my birthplace.
“It’s hot. Sand gets everywhere. I mean everywhere!”
“When do you leave?” The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them. I shouldn’t ask, but I really want to know.
“Possibly in a few months. It depends on the deal around this side of the island. Commercial deals take longer.”
Curiosity is getting the better of me tonight. “How’s it going?”
“The deal? Awful. Well, for my dad, it’s awful. For me, I’m being schooled in life. I don’t know how you live like this every day.”
“I love it here. No one tells me what to do or how to do it. I come and go as I please.” I shrug my shoulders as a smile plays on my lips.
“I’ve never had that.” Victor looks toward the ocean, deep in thought. “I’m finding it hard to be accustomed to this way of life. Massey seems to balance it so well.”
“Well, she is pretty amazing.”
Victor’s eyes find mine. My breath seizes in my chest by the way he is looking at me. Liquid courage has our inhibitions lowered to enjoy one another’s company. He’s making it harder to be annoyed with him, and that sort of pisses me off. The background music is louder and a sweet song comes over the radio. ‘Stereotype’ by Cole Swindell has quickly become one of my favorite tunes. Victor stands and grabs my hands, pulling my body to his. An enormous smile has me playfully pining for whatever he has in his mind.
“What are you doing?” I quickly ask.
“It’s an excellent song. Needs to be danced to.” He sways his hips to the beat of the song.
He runs his fingers up to my forearm and guides my arm to wrap around his neck. His other hand slips around my waist to settle on my lower back. Victor encourages my body to follow his lead. Dropping his forehead to mine cancels the outside noise.
“Are you drunk?” I try to joke but, in all actuality, I’m dying to know what side of Victor I’m getting.
“Nowhere near it. It’s been so different here. Like I’m someone else. Why not try something new, huh?”
Something new? Me? This? Too many questions settle in my overactive mind. Not wanting to ruin this moment of contempt. “Okay, weirdo. We will go with being someone else. Maybe I’ll like that person.” I Joke.
“The original Victor has your number. He won’t give it up.” He teases back.
“My number?”
Victor halts our dancing and pins me with a lustful stare. My insides are jumping through hoops that are set on fire. I am so close to freaking out but weirdly calm at the same time.
“You have captured my attention, Collins. You’ve seeped into my mind and I can’t, or won’t let you leave. Invading a part of me I didn’t know existed. I’m not sure if it’s because I am out of my element or because of the way you challenge me. You test me in ways I don’t expect, so yeah, I’ve got your number,” he says in what seems to be one breath. “I like you, Collins.”
Crazybitchessaywhat?
I’m struggling to find words, and he can tell I am just as affected as he is. He smiles, leaning closer to me. His eyes stay pinned on mine while his lips graze dangerously close to mine. A featherlight touch burns so harshly on my skin. I’m unable to resist as my body takes over; closing my eyes I feel his lips press firmly against mine. My arms rush to circle his shoulders while a hand glides up the back of his neck and into the crown of his hair. My fingers tangle in his soft locks. Even his hair oozes extravagance with the use of expensive products. Both of his hands press firmly on my backside, pushing my hips into his. My lips slightly parted as his tongue dips into my mouth, breathing fire into my lungs.
Well… shit.