Chapter 20
Days…
I’ve spent days locked up in my house. Not one door opened, not one window cracked. I couldn’t stand the clean ocean air that begs to wash away the pain. It reminds me of the days and nights spent with a man who made me smile an actual smile. Running through the soft sand and jumping in the crashing waves, all to end up in the outdoor shower. Surrounded by mother nature and not another soul in sight. I bared my soul. He made me live without worry or shame of where I came from.
I’ve ignored calls, texts, and drop-ins from everyone. I didn’t even look at my phone.
After a week, I decided to face the world. Seems inspiring, but it’s not.
Opening my phone reveals a multitude of voicemails, texts, messages, and notifications. I send a text to my group chat to say I’m okay and that I’ll reach out later. I get a quick text back from my brothers reaming me for closing everyone out. A text from Massey saying there is a town meeting tomorrow, not just about our property, but where the shop sits and the other businesses around us. Is it sad to know when our time is up, we won’t be alone? Although some of the business owners live above their shop or outback, like Leland. They will be homeless. So, I can’t complain since I have this place.
Victor has been texting and calling, asking me to call him. I’m not ready to deal with that yet.
I text Massey:
Super secret spot.
And she gives me a thumbs-up response. I gather my items and head outside. Ocean water therapy is what I need right now.
She is already at our spot, waiting. “You are alive!”
“I am.” There is no hiding my sadness.
“Are you okay?” Her worrisome tone warms my heart. Even after putting my foot in my mouth, she still shows up. Unwavering loyalty.
I can’t even properly lie about this. “No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, Lawson told me. I’m not sure if that was alright or not. We just worry about you,” she says with hesitation.
We are both are in uncharted territory with our relationships. She being with my brother and worried about crossing the line for our friendship. And me, finally opening my heart and life to a man.
“A few drop-ins and then we can talk about everything?” I swallow down the anxiety that is overtaking every nerve in my body.
“Let’s go.” She grips my forearm and gives it a soft squeeze.
She interlocks our pinkies, as we always do, only this time no words are spoken. And, instead of rushing the waves, we slowly walk until it’s deep enough to throw our boards into the surf and paddle through.
Massey paddles further out to give me some space, but is still close enough in case I completely crumble. Out past the reef, a wicked wave comes up, white peaks and clear overhead. I paddle as hard as I can and drop in. Every sprinkle of water hitting my skin is like a bullet to my anxiety. Surfing always provides me with absolute focus. Forcing me to keep my attention on one thing distracts me from the troubles of the world.
After a few drops, my mind exhausted and body worn, I’m ready to talk. Padding toward Massey and find a spot to sit and wait for her to finish. When she catches a glimpse of me, she swiftly paddles over.
“Give it to me.” She waves her hands.
“Where do I even start?” I shake my head. “Lawson and I had a sincere heart-to-heart.”
“Surprised you, huh?” She laughs.
I join her in giggles. “Yeah, it did!”
“Me too. He’s been going to mediation classes and takes it seriously. I encouraged him to figure something out after that horrendous night surfing party. Remember, that’s where you met Victor. After you ratted us out, he took me for ice cream as an apology for his behavior. I told him he needed to work on that cause it was my biggest turn off. Next thing I know, he’s taking yoga and meditation classes. Now when he gets to a point, he takes a timeout. It’s incredible to do meditation with him.”
We let a few moments of silence pass before Massey speaks again. “So …”
“He’s gone,” I mumble. Feeling tears forming again, I am trying everything to hold it together.
“Gone?” She seems confused.
“You told me he went back to New York.”
“Girl!” she squeals, laughing.
Her scream is so loud it startles me, and I end up falling off my board. I pop out of the water, kind of pissed.
“You know what? You and Lawson deserve each other,” I grunt. Massey continues to laugh at me. “Stop laughing!”
I clamber back onto my board. I am suppressing every desire to dunk her head under the water. She must see the look in my eyes, but it doesn’t stop her laughing fit.
“Sorry! So, he went for a board meeting and came back!”
“What?” I gasp.
“He’s back, gearing up for the town meeting. He headed the planning for the event and has been going around telling everyone about it. I mean everyone! He’s trying to build up the community to come out and offer a voice against eminent domain. He’s thinking if he gets enough support against it, it will cause the county to deny the order. Victor has been doing this all behind the law firm’s back, too.” She leans her head down, trying to catch my eye. “If you hadn’t hung up on me, I could’ve told you! If you had answered your fucking phone, I could’ve told you!”
“I thought he was gone, like gone, gone.” I am trying to steady my heartbeat.
“You really are something else.” I looked at Massey, shocked. She’s getting feisty.
“Hey,”—she points at me — “I answer my phone!”
“Touche.” She has me there.
I kick my feet around in the water as we sit, watching the waves crash in the distance. “So, tell me, how’s it with Lawson?”
“You actually want to hear?”
I may regret this, “Yeah.”
“Amazing.” She smiles so big. “Really amazing. I mean, I can’t explain it. He shows up at work, either greasy and gross with an enormous arrangement of flowers or in his surf gear with a picnic basket. He calls or texts every morning to say good morning or that he misses me. He will take silly photos, because he wants to make sure I smile.” She blushes and laughs hard. “He came to a corporate dinner and girl, he looked delicious in a suit! All the women are gawking over him.”
“Gross.” I gag.
“I know this is too much, but you are my best friend, so cover your ears for this next part. The sex is off the charts,” she says too quickly.
She didn’t even give me time to cover my ears. “Oh God, stop!”
“He does this thing…”
“Nope!” I cover my ears. Reaching across, I attempt to cover her mouth. “God, make her stop!”
She continues to laugh at my reaction. “Collins, he’s fantastic. Dad loves him even though he won’t say it.”
Despite its brevity, that comment holds significant weight. It’s the one thing that Lawson has always craved. To fit in and have a place in this world. It gives him purpose. I could cry alligator tears of happiness that my best friend gave him that.
“Dad loves all of you guys. He’s just so very private about everything.” She snakes her hand through the warm blue waters.
“I know.” And I do know. He’s always been warm toward me, but it’s different to hear his approval of Lawson.
I take a moment to look back at my friend. She exudes a gentle, inviting radiance. In the sunlight, her hair gleams, highlighting its chestnut color. Her sun-kissed tan is almost golden today.
“So, how are you getting Victor back?” she questions.
A smile engulfs my face while I give a casual shrug. A big toothy grin. She lays down on her belly, jerking her legs behind her. Water splashes as she tucks her hands under her chin, waiting for me to talk.
“Well…” I mimic her movements. We go back and forth, figuring out how I can make this up to him. I just hope I’m not too late.
The town hall meeting is happening tonight, and the meeting room is filled. Victor did a great job of getting the community to attend. There are people here whom I haven’t seen in the longest time, even people who aren’t affected.
I am sitting between both of my brothers, with Massey on the other side of Lawson, and I’m almost hidden behind their massive frames. I chuckle at what I must look like sitting between them. We are squeezed together like a can of sardines. There are a couple of microphones set up at the front, facing the small stage. Chatter around seems to show in our favor. There are people here ready for a fight. A long table sits up on the stage, and before too long, all the suits walk in. Each man is wearing perfectly pressed pants and long-sleeved button up shirts. My eyes find him immediately, even though he doesn’t see me. I’ll wait for the opportune time. I don’t want to take away from this meeting. It’s the future of my home.
An older man starts the meeting, but my eyes never leave Victor. His sandy blonde hair seems duller, and it looks like he hasn’t had a proper shave. If it weren’t for those captivating hazel eyes, I probably wouldn’t be able to recognize him. I bite my lip, remembering how every glimpse of him takes my breath away. I’ll admit, he looks good with some scruff. It makes my heart beg for him. I’ve missed him so much.
I sit so close, and yet he feels so far away. Person after person takes the floor to voice their opposition to the motion, and we all sit and listen. Everyone at the front table is listening and answering questions. It’s looking more and more in our favor, but then again, money can win a lot of favors. Time slips by and before I know it’s been two hours of friends and neighbors voicing their displeasure for the proposal. I’m thrilled to see so many people here, but all this legal chatter is boring. We sit through almost the entire room and before I know it, there is an opening and Leland gets up.
“Oh, shit!” Lawson, Massey, and I say at the same time.
My brother stands at the microphone. Shoulders back, chest puffed out, and he holds his chin high.
“Leland here from Coastal Repairs.” He introduces himself. Victor sits a little taller seeing my brother before them. As the council expresses his presence, Victor’s eyes are searching the room. I’m on the shorter side, so I can see him but still hidden by the mass of people. “Can you clarify the benefits of the motion to move forward,” Leland continues on.
Each man skirts around the answer, and Victor doesn’t pay them any attention. They turn to him for an answer, but he ignores them and keeps his head down, focused on something under the table. My phone vibrates in my back pocket, startling me. My heart leaps when I see the text. All hope isn’t lost.
Baby, where are you? Are you here?
Leland continues to ask questions while Victor stays distracted.
“So, you are going to pay us tax value for our homes and businesses, which is always significantly lower than market value. Then you are coming in behind to raise the taxes for land and road improvements. Can you explain how that helps the community?”
Leland’s words work everyone back up again. He may only have a high school diploma, but Leland is smart. He’s been running his garage since he graduated from high school.
“The relocation for the subdivision will be ‘affordable’ for the middle-class patrons of Hawaii, but what about us lower-class citizens? We’ve been here since before most of you were born, and we can’t afford the starter homes you have proposed.”
That gets a physical response from the younger business executives. They shift at the uncomfortable conversation. The older locals are catching on to what Leland is saying, and it’s pulling some hefty words to these guys.
“Is it true that the buildings and permit department haven’t even finished their assessment of this motion?” Leland continues to lay blow after blow.
Victor continued to keep his head down and distracted the entire time. He’s letting the table fall apart. The executives are reeling their heads back and forth, trying to figure out how to save their side of the argument. Victor is of no help. He’s more focused on texting me.
Baby, can I see you? Please? Meet me somewhere? I can come to your place?
Me. He wants me.
Leland has opened a can of chaos. People are arguing with the panel and sidestepping every question yelled out with such a political answer. Victor’s head is still down, and almost oblivious to what’s happening. Suddenly, Massey’s phone rings.
“For fuck’s sake, Collins! Make your move.” She holds her phone out for me to see the messages.
“Jesus, Collins! He’s texting me now.” Lawson rolls his eyes.
Okay, buck up buttercup, let’s get your man. I stand and weave in and out of the mass of people until I get to the microphone. I stand next to Leland, who smiles down at me. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, giving me a tight squeeze.
“Get ’em, girl.” His encouragement and acceptance are unmatched.
I nod and pull the microphone down. “One more question.”
Victor’s head snaps up, and his eyes shine brightly. His mouth falls slack in a perfect ‘O’ shape before a goofy smile pulls on his lips. You can’t buy a view like this.
“Yeah?” His voice cracks like a prepubescent teen. It reminds me of the girly scream that came out when he first drove my car. I giggle before I can continue and his smile is bigger than before. “Go on, what’s your question?”
“Have any of you ever considered living here? Like for a long period? See how it is to live day to day?” My eyes remain on Victor as the other people say no or try to change the topic.
“Yeah, I actually have a place nearby.”
“You do?” Now it’s me that has a slack jaw. I can hear my rapid heartbeat over the crowd, which has now quieted down.
“Thought you lived in the city?” I can feel my heart bursting. “Living here was… temporary.”
“Turns out, I like the quiet.” His eyes narrow a bit like he’s trying to communicate with me. “My house, it’s not far from here and permanent.”
“Permanent?” I need this confirmation.
“Permanent.” He gives me the validation I’ve desperately wanted all my life.
The entire room has fallen entirely quiet and even if they are talking, I can’t hear them. I only see him.
“And I found an auto shop for my car. There is also an incredible fruit stand with the sweetest pineapples. There is this surf spot I’ve visited almost every day this week. I’m getting better at surfing you know.”
“You suck at surfing.” I interject.
“It’s in the heart.” He places his hand over his heart, tapping his fingers against the hard planes of his chest.
“I guess it is.” He makes a fair point.
“Christ! Kiss her already,” Massey yells.
“Y’all are weird! Collins, man up and get your dude,” Lawson screams behind her.
I look back at my family, who are now standing. Lawson has his arm wrapped around Massey, her face full of love and hope. Leland has his arms crossed, making him look bigger than normal. But my brother tips his head to me, encouraging me. Whispers in the crowd lead to a few whistles. My face burns bright red, and everyone is following my family’s lead. I am suddenly nervous.
I turn back just in time to watch Victor hopping over the table and jump off the stage. He throws the microphone from my hands. His lips slant to cover mine and it is pure bliss. He steals my breath, like he’s done before, only this time it feels like home. The worry of the world falls away with every kiss. I never knew I could miss someone’s physical touch before him.
He pulls away slightly, and the world comes crashing back. I look around the room again and feel a shift in the air. There is a lightness, replacing the hurt and anger. People are clapping and cheering for us.
“Come with me.” Victor grabs my hand to lead me outside.
“What about them?” I nod back to the table.
“They are not my problem anymore.” Without looking, he continues to pull me toward the doors. “Just come with me. I’ll tell you everything!”
He lessens his grip and I willingly let him drag me out of the building. On the way down the aisle, I throw my keys to Lawson and he waves to me. My heart is bursting at the seams at this very moment. Rushing out of the double doors and out of the building, toward my future. Whatever that may hold, as long as he is with me.