Retribution (Anthem River)

Chapter 27

Chapter

Twenty-Seven

R am entered the quiet coffee shop and picked a booth at the back corner where he would be able to see anyone that came or went.

“What can I get you darlin’,” A preppy feminine voice that belonged to a younger girl asked.

He smiled at her, he could just imagine this being her first job. “Just a cup of black coffee with some extra sugar and creamer packets, please.” He winked at her when she took his menu. He normally would have ordered something but he was afraid he was going to throw up.

“Will do.” She rapped her knuckles on the table as she walked away.

Ram sort of felt bad for doing this without Kade’s knowledge but he didn’t want to get his boy’s hopes up. He’d dropped Sanem off at the hospital so that she could pamper Kade to her heart's content, while Ram went out under the guise of looking at new puppies for the Service Dog program. The second the two men walked in he immediately knew who they were. Carnage was just as he’d expected - tall, built and closed off. He was a predator, his cold calculating icy gray eyes scanned the shop quickly but thoroughly, while the one next to him seemed to be folding in on himself. Savage was young from what he could remember, he also knew the kid must be struggling without his twin. He knew he’d lose his mind if he lost Bram. Carnage noticed him first and moved towards him with a predatory lope. Ram stood but he didn’t bother to offer his hand, he didn’t like the way the man was looking at him. “You must be Carnage.” Alejandro had come through on being able to find Carnage and Savage. Kade hadn’t had the pull on the streets to be able to check underground like Ali did but Ram wanted to be able to meet them first. He didn’t want Kade to go through any more heartache. While Carnage was a couple inches shorter than him, about the same height as Kade, he was thick with corded muscles and dead eyes. Savage on the other hand looked gorgeous with his deeper copper toned skin and spiky black hair. His eyes were a lot like his older brother though, cold and flat. The baggage underneath didn’t help either.

Carnage just grunted his answer.

Ram gestured for them to sit, giving up his spot with his back to the wall for Carnage, knowing just from the look of the man he wouldn’t sit otherwise. “Can I get you two anything?” he offered. Alejandro had told him that he’d located them at one of the roughest halfway houses in the area, and he pretended not to notice the look they shared.

“Why here?” Carnage asked, his deep voice reminding Ram of Sam Elliot, and choppy like he wasn’t used to talking.

Ram’s brows furrowed as he looked around. “It’s neutral ground?” He worded it like a question. Not really understanding what the man meant.

Savage shook his head. “He wants to know why we’re here? Why men from the mafia damn near order us to be here?”

Ram rolled his eyes, fucking Ali, always making shit out to be more than it was. “Oh, I wanted to meet you before I told Kade I'd found you.” Ram saw Carnage freeze and those icy gray eyes blaze with some unnamed emotion as they stared back at him.

“You know where our brother is?” Savage demanded, dropping the menu he’d been looking at longingly. He shared another look with Carnage. “We’ve been looking for him for years.” The young man stared at him suspiciously, like he didn’t believe a word coming out of Ram’s mouth.

Ram took a sip of coffee to buy himself a second to think. “Yes, I know him. He served in the military with my nephew, they’re very close.” He didn’t know whether to tell them what he was to Kade and not. It would probably be best to let Kade tell them. He knew Kade had never come out to his family, and if Ram had to not come around for him to have a relationship with his brothers that was what he would do.

“Okay?” Carnage asked, cocking his head.

Ram blinked. “Yes and no.” Ram answered what he thought was asked. “He’s had a few issues the past few months. He went into cardiac arrest but has since recovered, but then he was taken hostage and beaten. He’s currently with my nephew relaxing.”

Savage raised a brow. “You seem to know a lot about him.” He continued to study Ram.

Well shit, he’d definitely put his foot in his mouth. He met Savage’s eyes head on. “Yes. I do, I love him.” And there went his big fucking mouth yet again. He wanted to kick himself.

Both men just stared at him in shock.

Ram sighed and pulled out his phone and then dialed Kade and put it on speaker for them to hear.

“Ram.” Kade answered.

Ram snorted, he could hear the whining pout in Kade’s tone. “What’s wrong?” His boy was set to be released from the hospital in the next couple of days if everything went okay, and he couldn’t fucking wait.

“Saint ate my fucking cookies,” Kade grumbled.

“YOU DID WHAT!”

Ram winced at Sanem screech while Kade snickered. He’d asked his sister-in-law and his wayward nephew to keep Kade company while he was gone and now he was wondering if he’d made the right choice.

“Well I think you’ll be down a nephew after today,” Kade told him through his laughter as he could hear Saint yelping as he tried to avoid his mother’s wrath.

Ram shrugged. “I’ve got nine more.”

Kade chuckled and then groaned.

Ram’s brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just moved too fast, these ribs are going to be the death of me. You’d think after days of being in a coma they would have already started to heal… but noooo they just have to ache like a bitch,” Kade hissed.

Ram rolled his eyes. “If you would follow the doctor’s orders you would have already been mostly healed, you’ve been pushing yourself too much and now you're paying for it.” He tried to reign in the Daddy part of himself. They weren’t alone and he would never do anything to make Kade uncomfortable.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a fucking rebel we all know it,” Kade huffed.

Ram snorted.

“How many puppies did you see?” Kade asked, softly.

Ram could just imagine the longing on Kade’s face. “There’s eight in this litter, they’ll go through some testing before we pick the final ones for the program.” Ram sat back in his seat and studied the two men in front of him. His finger hovered over the mute button in case they tried to speak. Carnage seemed frozen, his eyes staring longingly at his phone. He heard Kade yawn and tutted. “Go take a nap.”

Kade grumbled at him. “But all I’ve fucking done lately is sleep,” he whined.

Ram snorted. “It’s not like your body needs it or nothing.”

Kade grunted before he sighed. “Just come back soon, it’s harder to relax when you’re not here. I hate being in the fucking hospital.”

That was all Kade had to say. Even though he’d said it softly, Ram could hear the want in his voice. He stood up. “Alright I’m on my way.” He said goodbye and hung up. “There’s a lot of shit Kade has been through throughout his life, but he talks about you a lot,” he told Carnage. “One story was you left and came back all beat up with a cake for him.”

Carnage blinked slowly. “Deserved it.”

Ram nodded. “He deserves all the good things in life. Here’s my number, call me when y’all decide if you would like to see him.”

Savage took the business card Ram held out and blinked at it in shock. “You’re a vet?”

Ram nodded. “Yeah I work for a vet clinic and I also train service dogs for Veterans, that’s how me and Kade officially met. I trained his, and when he got sick I treated him. We’ve been together pretty much ever since.”

“Treat well?” Carnage demanded.

Ram had to think about what he was asking, it seemed Carnage struggled to speak full sentences.

“Yes, I treat him well. You can ask him all about it when you meet.” He turned towards Savage. “We were both sad to hear about Siren’s passing, that’s how he learned he had two younger siblings. He went to visit your parents to tell them, in the hopes you wouldn’t have to.” After that last bit he tossed some cash on the table. “Breakfast is on me gentlemen. Have a good day.” He took the long way back to the hospital and breathed a sigh of relief when he parked in the lot. That had gone better than he could have ever hoped for. He had been really worried about meeting Carnage mostly after all the stories, and when Ali had told him they lived in a halfway house he’d kind of figured the worst about them. They didn’t seem to be on any drugs, or have any other issues other than malnourishment. He’d left the ball in Carnage’s court because he could see the man was overwhelmed with all of the new information.

A few days later Ram came back to the farm after he had an emergency surgery at work. He grunted when he got out of his truck and shook out his leg. His knee was giving him problems again and it needed to chill the fuck out, he didn’t have time for it to decide it wanted to be a little bitch. He nodded at his brother when he entered who pointed towards the living room where Kade was cuddled up on the corner of the couch with Saint. He’d been so damn happy his baby was home and hated to fucking leave him. He knew Kade didn’t want to be alone so he’d brought him up to hang out with Sanem and the other’s while he’d handled the emergency at work.

“Hey, Ram,” Saint greeted softly, as to not wake Kade.

“Hey, how long has he been out?” Ram asked as he gingerly sat next to them.

Saint shrugged. “Probably about twenty minutes, he was trying to wait on you, but as soon as he sat down he couldn’t seem to be able to keep his eyes open.”

Ram snorted and shook his head. “That’s how it always seems to go.” He easily switched places with Saint as he ran off to go find a snack. He smiled widely when Kade grumbled and snuggled into his chest.

“Bout time you showed up,” Kade mumbled, sleepily.

“Sorry I took so long, baby. Next time you can come with me and sit in the cold waiting room with nothing to do.” He teased Kade, gently stroking the back of his head. He knew his boy was still uneasy without him around, he’d hoped being around his brothers for a while would help with that while he took care of things at work. He didn’t want Kade to have to sit in an uncomfortable chair for hours while he worked. “I talked to my boss and I’ll be taking a few weeks off so I won’t have to go back in for a while. You ready to head to my place and take a nap?”

“Mmhhmmm.” Was all the answer Kade could give. His body felt like it was weighed down and his eyelids felt like the heaviest things in the world.

“Alright, come on.” Ram helped Kade stand and moved him towards the door. He needed to get him to his place before he went too deep otherwise he’d have to carry his big ass. While he was used to being able to carry his boy around, Kade was way too big to carry a long stretch over gravel. He waved to his brother, with a promise to be back for dinner and marched Kade back to his little slice of heaven. Once they got through the front door, and Ram let Valk out, he pointed Kade towards the bedroom. “Go ahead and go lay down, baby. I’ll grab us some water and join you in a minute.”

“‘Kay,” Kade mumbled as he shuffled towards the bedroom.

Ram made sure Valk had plenty of food and water, made sure the doggy door was unlocked and then headed to the bedroom grabbing some water on the way. Valk had probably headed up to the main house to be loved on and pampered like the king he was. Everyone was treating Valk like royalty and the big baby was soaking it up. Ram huffed a small laugh when he entered the bedroom. Kade was sprawled out on the bed, on his stomach, his feet dangling off the end with his shoes still on. He shook his head in amusement. His boy was definitely something else. He pulled Kade’s shoes off, and rolled him to his back, stripping his clothes off. Once Kade was down to his boxers he urged his boy to get under the covers, then slid in next to Kade and pulled him into his arms. While he let Kade sleep, he thought back to meeting Kade’s biological brother’s a few days or so before. He hadn’t heard from them yet and he tried not to let that bother him. He didn’t want to push them, but he also didn’t want to set Kade up for more anguish if it didn’t work out in the long run. He would never forgive himself if this ended badly, but he desperately wanted to give his boy the closure he needed to move forward with his life. He knew the guilt over losing Carnage made him losing his brothers-in-arms that much harder. Kade thought it was all his fault and he knew deep down that if his boy could trade places with any of them he would do it in a heartbeat. He knew Kade had earned that Medal of Honor by his actions, and he also knew Kade didn’t agree with getting it. He could only hope that one day his love and guidance would help Kade to heal from all the damage that had been done to him. Had he been in Kade’s shoes he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself and would have probably wasted away. The fact that Kade was still standing strong after everything made him overflow with pride and it also made his dick hard which was a very weird combination. He snorted at his own thoughts. After a while he gently slipped out of bed to head to the bathroom to take a shower. He smelled of dirty dog and antiseptic and it wasn’t really doing it for him. He needed to make Kade a snack and get him ready for Justice to arrive later that night also.

By the time Justice knocked on the door, both Kade and Ram were dressed and settled in the living room.

“Hey, Kade.” Justice hugged him hard before he moved to the recliner facing both Ram and Kade who took their spots on the couch. “So, I’m going to be honest. I have no fucking idea how to even start this session.”

Kade chuckled. “Glad it’s not just me.”

Justice snickered ruefully, before he took a deep breath. “Why don’t you start off by telling me what happened. You can tell me as little or as much as you want but I want to hear it from you so I know what I can do to help you.”

“Do you want to be alone for this, baby?” Ram asked Kade softly.

Kade jerked in surprise and grabbed Ram’s arm and squeezed tight. “No.”

That one word said it such a panicked voice broke Ram a little. He settled his hand over Kade’s and squeezed gently. “I won’t leave, baby. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Where do you want me to start?” Kade asked, his voice raspy.

“Wherever you’re comfortable. If you want to start in the middle, that’s fine. I just want to get an overall view of what happened so I can figure out how I can help you through this. I know one thing, you’ll need to rely on Ram and your family for this Kade because I can already see the signs that this will hit you when you least expect it.” Justice looked to Ram. “I’ll make sure to give you the tools and advice you’ll need to be able to navigate what’s to come.”

Kade growled. “I’m not a fucking hurricane, Justice. You don’t have to act like I’m a category five about to wreak havoc.”

Ram tried to smother his laugh at Kade’s put upon face. His boy was ridiculously funny at times he should not be laughing.

Justice just smiled indulgently at Kade. “We’ll see.” He took a deep breath and pulled out his notebook and sat back ready to make some notes. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Kade swallowed hard, moving closer to Ram as he tried to think about what happened to him in a way that he could just imagine he was watching someone else’s life. “So from what I can remember I was in my office. I was waiting for the others to get there as we were going to have a celebration of life for just us, before we got all the families together that couldn’t make it to the funeral. I got lost in something on my computer… I think it was emails… as I was waiting. I don’t really remember what happened next, I just remember hearing Devin’s voice and could hear heavy footsteps coming towards me. I had no problem defending myself until I heard Valk yelp… after that everything is a blank.”

Justice nodded as he wrote down the main points he wanted to discuss. “Ram, would you like to fill in some of the blanks?”

Ram looked back and forth between Justice and Kade. “Do you really think that’ll help?” He didn’t want to tell Kade something that would set him off. He didn’t really know what was worse. The fact that Kade couldn’t remember was both a good and bad thing. He could imagine it pissed Kade off to no end, but then again he was safe from the memories. He was afraid if he opened that door it would destroy everything.

Justice looked to Kade. “It’s up to you.”

Kade sucked in a deep breath. “I want to know. I want to know what he did to me.”

Ram had to take a deep breath to prepare himself to relive that awful day. “According to what Torres saw on the security video, I couldn't bare to watch it, Devin and three other men came into your office while you were working. Two headed towards you while Valk lunged after one of them. You were fighting with one, when the third guy pulled a gun and shot Valk. That’s when the one you were fighting with hit you in the back of the head. All three grabbed you and left Valk. I’m not sure how they got you out of the building, but Torres came by your office about twenty minutes later and discovered Valk. He called the others and Doc called me to come help him with Valk. Once I was able to stabilize Valk I rushed him to my work. I tried to save his leg but where the bullet entered and exited had caused too much damage.”

Kade sat frozen as he tried to picture the aftermath. “I don’t blame you, and I’m not mad that you made the best decision you could have for Valk. He’s alive and pain-free, that’s all I could have ever asked. Even if you’d have had to put him down while I was missing, I would have been okay with that. As long as my buddy was no longer in pain I would have been okay,” Kade said even as his eyes filled with tears.

Ram rubbed his back. “I know, baby.” He would have done it too. If Valk was too far gone and there was nothing he could have done he would have set the big baby free, but he was so thankful that it hadn’t come to that.

Justice nodded at both men. “This is going to be hard on both of you, and I want to be able to help you both navigate it. Kade, can you tell me what happened when you woke up in captivity?”

Kade just raised a brow. “Which time?”

Ram smiled at the bratty tone.

Justice snorted. “Either time really, because I know you never got help for the last time either. Even though you were required to by the VA you seemed to be able to worm your way out of it.”

Kade grimaced. “It’s not like they actually checked.”

Ram shook his head. He knew what Kade meant, a lot of the soldiers coming home were never checked on like they should be. He couldn’t even get really mad because the VA was just so understaffed and there were so many Veterans coming through at any given time. “Well now is the time to get it handled. That, your childhood, and the guilt you carry around for both your brother and your men,” Ram said softly, as tears immediately flooded his boy’s eyes.

Justice made notes, now that there had been some time he wanted to know. “You talked to your parents, right?”

Kade nodded. “I wanted to be the one to tell them just in case Carnage is really gone and Savage didn’t know to tell them. While I don’t hate them anymore I feel indifferent towards them but we’re still their kids. Just because we don’t want anything to do with them doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to know. It’s customary in my culture so they can pray for their soul’s safe passage into the next life.”

“How was the visit?” Justice asked.

Kade shrugged. “It wasn’t nearly as bad as I assumed it would be. They’re clean now so I could hear some of my old mom in her voice before things went to shit. My father was the same quiet stoic asshole he’d always been, he didn’t seem to like the fact that I’m gay but my mother defended me… which was weird but whatever.”

Justice made a note. “How was it weird?”

Kade shrugged. “She never stood up to him before, it was always his way or the highway. I’ll never forgive him because he’s the one that got her hooked on the drugs in the first place.” Kade shook his head. “I barely remember a time when it wasn’t just me and Carnage doing everything, but sometimes I have dreams of my mother when she was clean and happy. Now I can imagine they both look older than their years and sad.”

Ram nodded in agreement, he could see how guilty and sad Kade’s mother had been when she saw him, and now to know she’d lost not one but possibly two kids was going to eat her alive.

“She asked if she could write to me,” Kade said, softly.

Justice met Ram’s eyes, and Ram nodded.

“What do you think will come of that?” Justice asked, his voice devoid of any emotion.

Kade sighed. “I have no idea. I think it’s just a way for her to try and make excuses, but on the other hand I could actually get some answers about why things went the way they went. I just don’t want to get my hopes up only to be proved wrong yet again.”

Justice nodded in understanding. “I can imagine that would make you feel a little gun shy on things to do with them.”

Kade grunted. “They’ve had years to reach out to me and they never did.”

“Do you think that could be out of guilt?” Justice asked, his voice calm.

Kade’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well from what I understand your parents, especially your mother, feel very guilty about how their children were treated. I’m sure that would make it hard if not impossible to reach out don’t you?” Justice cocked his head. “It could be after they got clean they didn’t know how to reach out to you. They could have not even known how to try. That doesn’t mean you owe them anything at all Kade, if you don’t ever want to see or talk to them again then I support that decision. If you want answers though, you’ll have to put forth the effort to find out. The only thing I’m hesitant on is, what are you going to do with the answer. No matter what the answer is, it’s going to be hard for you to understand and accept, so you need to tell me and Ram what we can do to make sure this doesn’t put you back at the bottom. You have come so far since you’ve been home, Kade. I know it really doesn’t seem like it sometimes but you are living, now we just need to get you thriving and I believe with Ram at your back that’ll happen faster than you think.”

Kade gave a small grin. “Yeah, probably.”

“I want to touch on the subject of what happened when you were missing. Is there anything that stands out or that bothers you,” Justice asked.

Kade paused as he thought. “It’s just stupid. Devin was obsessed with the fact that my grandmother left me money when she passed. At that point there was still no word from Carnage otherwise it would have gone to him.”

“What did you do with the money?” Justice wondered. “Did he know how much you had?”

Kade shook his head. “I don’t know if he knew the exact amount but he found out by snooping through my papers while I was on deployment shortly after we had gotten together. I made the mistake of asking him to run by my place and check my mail while I was gone and to make sure things were fine. I didn’t mean for him to just have a free for all at my place. I used a small chunk of the money to start my business when I came back. The rest is sitting in a high yield savings account getting larger by the day.”

“Why does he think he’ll get the money?” Justice asked, confused.

Kade rolled his eyes. “He pitched a fit that I had Saint as my in case of emergency and my beneficiary if anything were to happen to me. I changed it to him, until I got hurt. As soon as I was able I changed it to both Ram and Saint. So if anything happens to me they will get everything, it’ll be split down the middle and Doc will handle all my personal effects.”

Ram stared at Kade in shock. “Why me?”

Kade raised a brow and looked at the man like he should question his own intellect.

Ram sighed. “You know what I mean. I don’t expect anything from you.”

Kade nodded. “I know, and that’s why you have it. You have no idea how refreshing it is to be with someone who doesn’t want me for anything more than just myself.” He knocked his shoulder to Ram’s. “I’ll always be grateful to you for that.” He paused and swallowed hard. “That’s what Devin wanted from me. He knew I had changed everything back to Saint and cut him off from my money when he went to try and buy something and he was denied. He wanted me to sign over everything to him in that room.”

“No lawyer would have allowed it,” Justice told him.

“I know, but I was afraid he was going to go after Ram or one of my brothers and I had no idea how many people he was working with. It looks like he got into some trouble with some very powerful men and was trying to save his own ass.” He looked towards Ram. “It’s just money, I would have gladly signed it all over if I knew that meant you were safe.”

His boy never stopped surprising him. “While I appreciate that, baby, I’m more glad you kicked his ass.”

Kade snorted then laughed. “Then got fucked by a chair,” he wheezed through his laughter.

Ram couldn’t help but join him. The sound of his boy’s happiness meant the world to him, and he felt like a giant knowing he’d get to hear it for the rest of his life.

Justice just stared at both of them, a small smile playing across his lips. “Do I even want to know?”

Once Kade was able to pull himself back under control, he explained, “The chair I was in broke when I hit the floor. Devin tried to…” He gestured vaguely to his lap, “When I kneed him in the face I heard gun fire so I went down, the chair broke and a piece splintered off in my ass.”

Justice wasn’t able to smother the laugh that came out. “What the actual fuck.”

Kade snickered. “I know right. Missed getting fucked by the ex, didn’t see the chair coming.”

Justice laughed. “Wow man, I don’t even know what to say about that.”

Kade grinned. “Aw, is that out of your professional opinion?”

Justice snorted. “In my professional opinion I would say the chair was better than Devin.”

Kade froze for a second before he let out a loud laugh.

Ram chuckled as Kade slumped into him, unable to hold in his giggles.

“It’s sad but so true,” Kade said, breathlessly.

Justice shook his head, his grin still in place. “You definitely upgraded my friend.”

Kade grinned at Ram. “I sure did.”

Fuck the man knew just how to make him feel good. He kissed Kade’s cheek, unable to speak for fear he would just start blurting out random shit just to try and deal with the big emotions currently playing havoc with his heart. He’d always love this man, no matter what. Kade had brought so much love and happiness into his life that he never wanted it to end. He ruffled Kade’s hair. “Love you,” he said softly, and Kade’s answering smile was all he needed to see to know his boy felt the same way.

Justice smiled as he watched the couple. It was amazing how in tune they were with each other when they’d only been together a matter of months, but he could see them going until the end. “I’m so happy for you, Kade. I say that as your therapist and your friend.