Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
‘What?’ Sorrel stared at her ex-boyfriend in confusion. ‘You don’t have a sister.’
‘I do. I just never told you about her,’ he mumbled into his coffee. All trace of the cocky, controlling Simon she had just been talking to was gone; in his place was… she wasn’t sure who it was. She hadn’t seen this version of him before.
Simon’s posture had changed; he usually sat upright and proud, and now he slumped in his seat. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. His voice was low and unsure.
‘How could you not tell me you had a sister?’ Sorrel demanded, but she knew that she hadn’t been totally honest with him. She’d never told Simon much about her family, and certainly not why she’d left Skye so abruptly.
Maybe she also hadn’t been totally honest about her feelings for Tam Blackwood.
That was the real truth of it. All those times she’d looked around at the beautiful new house she’d just renovated and thought about how it would make a lovely family home for her and Tam.
I can’t think about that now, she remonstrated with herself. If I do, I’ll collapse.
‘It’s difficult to talk about.’
‘Tell me,’ Sorrel said, quietly.
‘Agh.’ Simon took a sip of his coffee. He paused for a moment. ‘Teresa’s my little sister. She’s ten years younger than me. We had different fathers.’
‘Okay.’ Sorrel calculated that Teresa was around twenty-five years old. ‘And you never thought to mention this?’
‘Yeah. Well, I guess you could say that Teresa and I are quite different. She’s not always made the best choices in life.’ Simon sighed. ‘When Mum died, I sort of took over looking after Teresa. I tried to encourage her to go to college, get some qualifications. Turn her life around.’
‘Why, what direction is her life currently going in?’
‘Not a good one. She’s always been a bit easily led.
She and Mum lived on an estate. You know, there’s some bad ones in South London.
That’s why I never took you over there. I guess I was ashamed,’ he said, quietly.
‘You’d come from this lovely background, with your family, and the Inn, and the Laird in the castle being your uncle and all that.
What did I have? A council flat. A mother who’d been unable to work for years because of her mobility issues.
And Teresa just never seemed to want to help herself. She just wanted to go out and party.’
‘Well, she’s twenty-five years old. Is that so unreasonable?’
‘No, it’s not unreasonable to have a good time. But… she got in with the wrong crowd. She started using drugs. And then she got pregnant.’
‘Oh. Is she okay?’ Sorrel leaned forward, feeling concerned.
‘She will be. I sent her to a clinic where she could be treated for addiction. That was what the money was for, partly. And the rest was a deposit for a flat, some rent in advance. I needed to move her away from where she was. Away from that gang of people.’
‘And away from the father of her child?’ Sorrel filled in the details in her own mind. ‘Was he bad?’
‘Yeah.’ Simon let out a long breath. ‘She doesn’t see it, even now. But she will. I hope.’
‘What did he do?’ Sorrel asked.
‘He found out that she was pregnant, and he beat her up. Fortunately, she didn’t lose the baby, but he really hurt her. Broke a few ribs. And frightened the hell out of her,’ Simon continued grimly. ‘The worst thing was, though, that he was the one who got her addicted in the first place.’
‘Simon. Why on earth didn’t you tell me about all of this?’ Sorrel asked, not quite believing what she was hearing. ‘I just can’t take it in. How could you have known about all of this going on and never told me? We slept in the same bed every night.’
‘I know. I know! I should have! Clearly!’ Simon raised his voice.
The two women at the next table were probably having a field day with all this drama, Sorrel thought.
‘But I was just… ashamed, I guess. As I said, you seemed to come from such a nice family, even though you decided to run away from them. I didn’t want to tell you about Teresa.
And if I didn’t talk about it, then maybe it wouldn’t be real. There was that too.’
‘Oh, Simon.’ Sorrel shook her head. ‘I’m sorry. I had no idea. But how could I?’
‘I know. I messed up.’ He sighed. ‘Look. I’m not excusing my behaviour, but a lot of the time when I know I was angry with you… it was misplaced. I was wrong, okay? I had all of this going on and I didn’t feel like I could tell you.’
‘Simon. That’s not an excuse for how you were. You were angry. Emotionally manipulative. I found it very hard. And you really didn’t help with the business at all. It ended up that I was doing everything. You know that.’
‘I know. But you’re so capable, and I always feel like I’m running behind, keeping up!’ Simon exclaimed. ‘I know that’s wrong. But it’s how I felt.’
‘I’m not going to apologise for being capable, Simon.’ Sorrel sighed, and then looked at her phone as the screen lit up with a text from her mother.
Sorrel. Can we talk, please? Everything feels uncomfortable and sad, Catriona had texted. Sorrel turned her phone over. Not now, Mum, she thought.
‘I’m not asking for that,’ he replied, softly.
They stared at each other over the table for a few moments.
‘So, where do we go from here?’ Simon asked. ‘I think we should work it out, Sorrel. I want you back. I want everything back. We shouldn’t dissolve the company. We’ve been doing so well.’
Yeah, I’ve been doing well, she thought. You haven’t contributed much to our success.
‘Simon… It’s not as simple as that. You can’t just show up and apologise and ask me to take you back.
I appreciate you telling me about Teresa.
And… maybe, we can work out a way to cover the money.
You’ll still have to pay it back.’ She shot him a stern look.
‘I’m not saying that you’re off the hook.
But okay, the situation is more complex than I thought. ’
‘Thank you. I appreciate that.’ Simon gave her a small smile. ‘Will you at least think about us getting back together? I do love you. I know I’ve been terrible at showing it. But I do.’
‘Simon. This is a lot. Please don’t.’ Sorrel felt hugely uncomfortable. Being back home, with her friends and family, and finally starting to work through the thing that had kept her away from them all for so long, was making her feel more grounded than she had in a long time.
He wasn’t listening to her.
‘Don’t you love me? You did last week. What changed?’ he demanded.
Everything changed, was what she wanted to say. And I don’t know if I’ve really been in love with you for a long time.
‘I… I need to go home and think.’ Sorrel stood up. ‘Can you give me a lift?
‘Sure. Take some time.’ Simon was affable, generous of spirit, all of a sudden. She felt a little suspicious – usually, Simon was only like this when he wanted something. This time, apparently, what he wanted was her.
But the distance from Simon had given Sorrel perspective and closure, and now, she knew what she wanted and deserved in a partner. Simon wasn’t it. She had to find a way to make him understand that.
The irony was that Tam had been the one.
Tam had – still did – feel like home. Tam was the one who made her heart feel full, the one who still made her want to dissolve into his strong arms. But she had pushed Tam away, and, despite whatever Dom thought, it was too late to repair what had been broken.
Tam had had his heart torn apart twice – once by her leaving, and once by Beth dying.
I can’t hurt him again, Sorrel thought. It’s too high stakes for us to be involved now. I can’t risk breaking Tam Blackwood’s heart any more.