Chapter 18 Ash
ASH
MAY PRESENT DAY
When I enter Gran’s house, Shane’s lounging on the couch, flipping through channels.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, closing the door behind me.
Being away from Maggie was eating me alive, so I took the weekend off and went home to Raleigh to be with her.
“Nik’s pissed at me again. I stayed here last night. Probably be staying here again tonight,” he says without looking back at me.
“You do realize I’m selling this place. You can’t use it as your oasis from reality anymore.”
“Well, you haven’t sold it yet, have ya?”
That’s when I notice the credit card and straw sitting on the coffee table. “Are you kidding me?” I smack the back of his head from behind the couch.
“Ow! What?” He grabs his head.
“Please tell me you didn’t come here to do drugs. What the hell is wrong with you?” I point at the evidence on the table.
“What?” He suddenly realizes he’s left his shit out. “No. It’s not like that. I—” He cuts off as I stare at him with crossed arms.
“You what? Knew Nik would have your ass if she knew you were high, so you came here to do it instead?” I flop down next to him. “Shane, this shit has to stop. When I talked to Nik a couple days ago, she said you were really trying this time. What happened?”
“I was! I mean, I am. I fucked up. But I swear, everything’s fine.”
I shake my head. “You can’t keep doing this. We love you, but this is hurting everyone, including you.”
He hangs his head. “Yeah. I know.”
I stare at him for a moment, wishing I could will him into staying clean before standing from the couch and clapping my hands together. “Okay, well, I’m not gonna pretend I’m capable of kicking you out, so let me make you some dinner, and maybe we’ll try again tomorrow. Yeah?”
He nods without making eye contact.
“Shane, you can do this. I know you can.” I briefly place my hand on his knee before heading to the kitchen.
The rest of the evening we watch movies and eat spaghetti on the couch in front of the TV. It’s like it was when we were little and we’d spend the summer with Dad, but this time, I’m the one taking care of Shane.
“Are you gonna at least call and tell her you’re here?”
He shakes his head. “She knows.” He flips through the options on Netflix.
“I know she worries, though. She might appreciate knowing that you’re okay.”
He shakes his head again.
“God! Do you even give a rat’s ass about her?”
“Don’t start, Ash.”
“No, really? It doesn’t seem like it. She’s wasting her life on you. You do realize that, don’t you?”
“Yeah! I know! I tried to end it, but she won’t fucking give up! Okay? I know I’m a piece of shit! Is that what you want to hear?”
“No. You aren’t. You just have your head so far up your own ass you can’t see what you’re doing to her.”
“I know what it does to her, and I’m trying, okay? I’m fucking trying!” His voice cracks, and he shoots up off the couch. “Fuck this. If I wanted to be bitched at, I would’ve stayed at home.”
I dart across the room, blocking the door.
“Don’t you dare storm out of here. I’ll leave it alone.
Okay? No more bitching, but you don’t leave.
I’ll stay up all night worrying if you do, and I need to get some sleep so I can finish this shit.
So please, please do not leave,” I plead as tears start to well.
He steps back, thinking hard before lifting his face to the ceiling and exhaling loudly. Finally, he nods and stomps off to his room, slamming the door behind him. I know he’s pissed, but I don’t care.
I head to my room, change, and slip into bed.
Iwake early to make a quick trip to the grocery store for the ingredients to make French toast for him.
When I pull back up at the house, the front door is open.
“What the hell,” I mutter.
With a plastic sack in each hand, I jog up the steps and enter the house, kicking the door closed behind me.
“Shane!” I bark, my breaths growing sharper as I contemplate how I’m going to murder him for leaving the damn door open.
No response.
“Hey! I’m back!” Sweeping the house, I notice his room’s empty, and my heart sinks.
He left.
“Goddamn it, Shane,” I mutter under my breath. This is the shit that pisses me off. Everyone talks about how flaky he is, and I defend him every time. But then he does stupid shit like this, and I feel like a fool for having his back.
I pull out my phone and text him on my way back to the kitchen.
Stopping in front of the table, I blindly lay the grocery bags down, sighing.
This is the last straw. After his little stunt last night, I’m going to put my foot down.
I can’t keep making excuses for shit. I love him, but enough is enough.
“Hello, Ashton.” The familiar voice sends a chill down my spine.
My fingers stop typing, and every muscle in my body freezes at the sound. I lift my eyes slowly, without moving my head.
Nothing comes out at first when I open my mouth. Swallowing, I say, “Hi, Dad.”
He looks the same as he did the day I watched him beat my brother to within an inch of his life.
He’s a little older, but his eyes are just as vacant, and his smile’s just as vicious.
I can’t process the fact that he’s here, standing in front of me.
Like, I’ve somehow convinced myself he wasn’t real.
I’m instantly thirteen again and not sure how to react.
I realize I’m holding my breath and inhale sharply. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t a guy visit his daughter?” he asks.
I guess a guy could, but not this one. If he’s here, it’s because he wants something. I don’t know what, but the danger that lurks if I don’t give it to him has my stomach churning.
When I don’t answer, he says, “Sit down.”
My hands shake, and I jump before scrambling to place my butt in the chair.
“I’m disappointed you won’t take my calls.
Your grandmother was always a master manipulator.
Now that she’s gone, you and I can have the father-daughter relationship we deserve.
” He flashes his teeth. If it was anyone else, it might be considered a smile, but I know what this is.
He’s a predator, and I am, once again, his prey.
I blink, trying not to move a muscle. You never know what will set him off. That’s a lesson I learned long before our parents divorced.
“Okay.”
“But first, I want what’s mine. The old bitch left everything to you.
” He scoffs, moving toward me, his beady eyes burning into mine.
“I understand why she’d leave your brother out of the will.
Although, she’s the reason he’s the worthless piece of shit he is.
If he’d stayed with me, he’d have learned his lesson eventually. ”
I practically have to bite my tongue to keep from saying something. This is a good time to stop defending my brother.
“But I digress, I came for her jewelry box.” He braces his hands on the table, leaning toward me. His eyes narrow and he shouts, “Where is it?”
I jump, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? Have you not been cleaning the place out?”
“I have, but I haven’t seen it.”
He slams a hand on the table. “Liar!”
My hands tremble, and I squeeze my eyes shut as a tear rolls down my cheek.
He takes a step back, collecting himself. “Has your brother been here?”
“Y-yes.”
He nods, scowling. “Fucking figures.” He gets in my face again and lowers his voice. “You let that little fucker in here—”
I flinch as he reaches out a hand. His fingers run through my hair, and my stomach churns.
When he speaks again it’s in an unnaturally sweet tone. “I need you to get it back.”
Holding my breath, I nod.
He forces a smile before grabbing a bag of things off the table and walking toward the door.
When it slams, I gasp, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water as tears stream down my face.