Chapter 43 Gabe
GABE
OCTOBER PRESENT DAY
If I were a better man, I’d leave her alone. I’d let her believe we could be nothing. I’d let her have a life that doesn’t involve reliving the pain I caused her.
But I’m not.
I’ve tried, but I’m too selfish not to have her.
She’s mine, always has been, and I’m sick of fighting it. I knew the second she strutted over she’d fall into me tonight. I could see it on her face. She’s tired too, and I’ll always be her soft place to land.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
She looks like she knows where this is headed, and I’d like to say she seems happy about it, but she’s scared. I know how much I’ve hurt her, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix it, but I have to.
With her arms around my neck, she asks, “Why didn’t you move on?”
“You know why.”
Her fingers move idly across the nape of my neck. “Yeah, but six years is a long time to be alone. You never thought maybe you could be happy with someone else?”
I shake my head.
“Weren’t you lonely?”
“I would have been even if I’d been with someone else. No one gets me like you.” I shrug. “It’s always been you.”
Her eyes drop to my mouth, and holy shit, I think I’ve been electrocuted.
I’ve kissed her one time in the last six years.
It wasn’t enough. She stops swaying, lets her hand drop to my chest, and doesn’t move.
I can’t tell if she’s trying to decide what she wants or how to tell me she doesn’t want this.
If I weren’t desperate, I might say something to let her off the hook.
“It’s still you.”
Finally, she sucks in a sharp breath, grips the back of my neck, and pulls me to her. Her berry-colored lips just brush mine at first. Then, something between us snaps. Her mouth presses into mine, and it’s like sleeping in your own bed for the first time after a long week away.
With a hand on her back, I press her closer and deepen the kiss. Her lips part, and I dip my tongue into her mouth. She tastes like that fruity drink I threw on the floor. The room around us keeps going, but I can’t tell because I’m solely focused on this moment.
She breaks the kiss, and her eyes lift to me. To hide her grin, she bites her bottom lip.
Her breathing quickens, and she stares at me for a beat. I’m about to tell her that she’s the only thing that matters to me, and that I’d give up the world for her.
That I have.
But before I can get the words out, she says, “Take me upstairs, Gabriel.”
Everything stops. If I could throw her over my shoulder and run up the stairs without drawing attention, I would.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I kiss her again, grabbing her hand before leading her to my apartment.
She waltzes into the living room like she belongs here, and I guess that’s because she does. The only time this place has ever felt like home was when she was here, and that’s probably because she’s the only thing I’ve ever cared to have.
She’s all I’d grab in a fire.
She spins to face me and starts to work on the buttons of my shirt. Her eyes meet mine, and her breathing falters. Wrapping my hands around her wrists, I mutter, “You’re sure?”
She nods, pausing for only a moment before going back to my buttons.
Then, her mouth is on my chest as she peels my shirt off, tossing it to the floor and wrapping her arms around my neck. I lift her, and she locks her legs around my waist.
With a hand in her hair, I devour her mouth, never letting her up for air as I carry her across the room.
Kicking open my bedroom door, my heart pounds so hard I think she can probably feel it against hers.
I toss her on my bed, standing over her to take in her heaving breaths through parted lips.
When I finally lean over for one more kiss, her hands tangle in my hair like she’s desperate to get closer.
I yank her dress down and toss it to the floor, leaving her in nothing but a hot-pink thong.
I suck in a sharp breath. She’s the most perfect woman I’ve ever seen, and there’s never been a time she didn’t take my breath away.
She moans into my mouth as I press against her.
My hands slide up her thighs to rest on her hips, and my lips brush over her collarbone before trailing down her chest until I reach her stomach.
I stop.
My heart twists.
She did it all alone. I’ll never not regret that. There’s a tiny sliver of glass lodged in my sternum from what happened. It’ll never be removed. It’ll slice and gnaw at me for the rest of my life because no matter what I say or do moving forward, I can never take it back.
She runs a hand into my hair, pulling me from my thoughts, and I move to her hip bone before pressing a kiss to the front of her lace panties.
“Please,” she whispers.
A smile spreads across my lips.
If she gives me even a moment of her time, she won’t ever have to ask for anything again; I’ll give her everything.
I slide off the tiny piece of lace and throw it across the room before resting her legs on my shoulders.
When my breath hits her bare skin, she arches off the bed, gripping the sheets.
I’d gladly get lost in this woman. I thought I could just sleep with other women and it would be enough.
But it wasn’t like this. It couldn’t be because Ash is my perfect match.
She’s the only person I’ve ever been drawn to like this.
I felt that pull every day for six years, and I felt it again tonight.
She writhes against my hold, whimpering my name. I’ve missed that sound. I’ve missed every sound she makes.
Each soft press of my lips has her coming undone a little more. My tongue darts out to make a slow swipe and her legs clench.
I hum into her. “I’ve missed this, baby.”
She starts to say something, but it turns to a gasp when I cover her clit with my mouth. I lick, and suck, and nip. As I slip a finger into her, her legs start to shake. It takes mere minutes for her to tighten around me.
When she finally comes down, I sit up and ditch the rest of my clothes, desperate to be inside her. The bedside lamp is the only light. It shines against the side of her face, leaving her glowing against my sheets.
She smiles up at me with her hair splayed around her like a spiraled halo. With heavy lids, she says, “You’re so good at that.”
I catch her bottom lip with my teeth, fist the back of her hair, and pull her head back. “Did you forget how much time I spent between your legs?”
She grinds, sliding against my cock.
I grin. “I didn’t. I’ve been dreaming about it for six goddamn years.”
Then, I sink into her. She gasps, throwing her head back. Her breathing picks up as I set the pace.
I’m home.
“Fuck, baby. You’re so perfect,” I groan, unable to stop staring because I’ve been denied the right to do so for so long, and I never want to look away again.
She is here, and she is mine. Something in me shifts. A desperate need to lay my claim.
I pull her head back again. “I don’t know why you thought I was gonna let you blow me off tonight, love.”
Defiance shines in her eyes. “You know why. You were paying attention to someone else.”
I chuckle and bite her throat just enough to make her gasp before soothing it with my tongue.
When I lift my head again, I say, “You know better. My attention is always yours. You are mine.”
She nods.
“Your words.”
She pants, her lips parted, and whispers, “I’m yours.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “As much as I love that jealous streak, it’s getting old proving to you who I want in my bed. Who I want to bury my cock in. Who I want to love.”
She stares at me with wide, round eyes. “Gabriel—”
“Do not say some bullshit we both know is a fucking lie.”
Her lips clamp shut, and I pull away from her to stand at the end of the bed. She was about to tell me all about her doubts, and I don’t want to hear it. I’m tired of hearing it. We belong together. She knows it, and I know it.
I yank her to the edge and slide into her again, letting my head fall back as she moans.
She locks her ankles around me, rolling her hips frantically. My thumb finds her clit.
“Oh my god,” she groans.
Palming her ass, I slam into her until she flutters around me again, then I flip her over like a rag doll. “Put your hands on the headboard.”
As she does, I take her in and go completely still.
“You little fucking liar.” I run my thumb over the tattoo on her ass before smacking it with a pop.
She smirks over her shoulder. I suspected she was lying, but knowing that she had my initials on her ass every time that asshole fucked her, does something to me. I push her knees apart before lining up and sliding into her.
“Oh my god, Gabriel,” she groans.
“You’ve missed me too, huh?”
She nods.
I lean forward and whisper, “I want to hear you say it.”
“I missed you. God, I fucking missed you.”
Gripping her hips, I let go and claim what has always been mine.
“You are so beautiful,” I say softly between kissing the middle of her back. Then I grab her hair with one hand and pull her back to my front.
It takes all of about three thrusts for her to fall over the edge again, panting and writhing. And I follow close behind.