Chapter 10 - Sierra #2
"Come inside me," I manage through the haze of pleasure. "Want to feel you, Cade. Please."
That's all it takes. With a guttural moan, Cade buries himself deep inside me one final time, his cock pulsing as he comes. I can feel the warmth of him filling me, marking me as his, and something about it feels right. Feels like coming home.
We stay like that for a long moment, both of us breathing hard, his body covering mine, his cock still buried inside me. Then slowly, he pulls out and collapses beside me on the bed, pulling me with him so we're facing each other.
"I loved it" Cade starts, then stops, like he can't find the words.
"Yeah," I agree. "That was incredible."
He reaches out, tucking a strand of sweaty hair behind my ear. "We should talk about what this means."
"We should," I agree. "But maybe—" I glance at the clock on his nightstand. "Maybe after we clean up and before Dallas brings Ruby back?"
"Practical as always." But he's smiling, that soft, genuine smile I haven't seen in eight years.
"One of us has to be." I lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "But Cade? Whatever happens next, whatever we decide, I don't regret this. Any of it."
"Me neither." His hand cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. "Best decision I've made in eight years."
I pad to the bathroom on shaky legs, my body still humming with the aftershocks of what we just did.
The bathroom is as minimalist as the rest of his apartment—white tiles, basic fixtures, a single towel hanging on the rack.
I clean myself up quickly, watching in the mirror as my reflection slowly transforms from thoroughly fucked to something approaching presentable.
My lips are swollen, my hair is a mess, and there's a flush across my chest that won't fade for a while. I look like a woman who just had the best sex of her life, and I suppose that's accurate. Eight years of pent-up longing, released in the span of an hour.
But now comes the hard part. The part where we figure out what this means, what happens next, how we navigate the impossible situation we've created.
When I return to the bedroom, Cade's sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxer briefs, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. For a moment, my heart stops, fear flooding through me. Is he regretting it? Is he already pulling away?
But then he looks up, and the expression on his face isn't regret. It's determination.
"We need to talk," he says, patting the bed beside him. "Really talk. No avoiding the hard stuff."
I sit, suddenly aware that I'm only wearing my bra and panties, my clothes still scattered across his apartment. But Cade doesn't seem to notice or care. His focus is entirely on my face, his blue eyes serious.
"I've made a decision," he says before I can speak. "And I need you to hear me out before you respond, okay?"
"Okay," I agree quietly, my heart pounding.
"I'm done hiding." The words come out firm, resolute.
"Done hiding from my fears, from my responsibilities, from the life I should have been living all along.
I want to be there for Ruby. Want to be there for you.
And if that means moving back—" He swallows hard but doesn't look away.
"If that means going back to that town, facing everything I ran from eight years ago, then that's what I'll do. "
"Cade—" I start, but he holds up a hand.
"Let me finish. Please." He takes a deep breath.
"I'll try to get onto the fire department there again.
I'll talk to the chief, see if there's an opening.
And if there isn't, I'll find something else.
EMT work, whatever it takes. I'll apologize to everyone for leaving so abruptly, for not being strong enough to stay and face what happened.
I'll do whatever I need to do to be part of Ruby's life.
To be part of your life, if you'll let me. "
The tears start before I can stop them, hot and fast, spilling down my cheeks.
Eight years. Eight years of doing this alone, of wondering if Cade would ever be ready to be a father, if he'd ever want me again.
And now he's sitting here, telling me he's willing to face his worst nightmare to be with us.
"Are you sure?" My voice breaks on the words. "Cade, I can't ask you to do that. To go back to a place that almost destroyed you. That's not fair to you."
“Yes, I'm sure. Because the alternative, missing more years of Ruby's life, missing the chance to watch her grow up, to be her father, that's worse than any nightmare.
And this—" His thumb brushes across my cheekbone, wiping away the tears.
"Missing the chance to be with you again, to see if we can make this work, if we can be a family, that would destroy me more than going back ever could. "
"But the fire," I whisper. "The people you couldn't save. The memorials. All of it… It'll still be there."
"I know." His jaw tightens, and I see the fear flicker in his eyes before he pushes it down.
"I know, and I'm terrified. Fucking terrified, Sierra.
The thought of driving past those buildings every day, of seeing the families, of being reminded constantly of my failures, it makes me want to run.
But I've been running for eight years, and it hasn't made me any happier. It hasn't healed me."
"Then what makes you think going back will?" I'm not trying to dissuade him, just trying to understand.
"This time, I'll have Ruby. I'll have you. I'll have a reason to face the hard days, a reason to get up in the morning that's bigger than just surviving." He leans in closer, his forehead resting against mine. "You and Ruby, you're worth facing my demons for. You're worth everything."
The tears are flowing freely now, and I can't speak around the lump in my throat. All I can do is lean into him, letting his warmth surround me, letting myself believe that maybe, just maybe, this could actually work.