Chapter Twenty-Four
Roshan had been pretty bad at painting. He hoped he was better at pottery. He parked his car and his heart thudded when he saw Nimita standing at the entrance of the pottery class. After everything that she’d told him yesterday, he wasn’t sure she’d want to see him again.
“Hey.” He could not help the smile on his face.
A small grin wobbled to her face. “I had to see you throw pottery.”
She looked like she’d shed a few more tears, but she was smiling now. He inhaled and opened the door. “At least someone will be entertained.”
They followed everything the instructor said. Yet his “simple” bowl had uneven thicknesses, and no matter how many times he threw it, didn’t improve. Nimita excelled, producing a beautiful bowl by the end of the session.
“You’ve done this before,” he accused as they walked out.
“In Italy,” she confessed, though her voice was dull, not laced with the animated satisfaction she usually had when she bested him. “A few times.”
Roshan groaned and looked skyward. Tonight, Taurus was visible next to Orion. Huh. “Need a ride?” he asked.
“Sure.”
They drove in silence for a while, and then Nimita said, “Maybe you skip the other art-related activities?” A small bit of humor colored her words.
He nodded. “This is harder than I had expected it to be,” he confessed.
“There’s no timeline here,” Nimita assured him. “Mali just wants you to have something outside of her.”
“It still sort of feels like I’m doing something for her. It’s not part of my identity, you know? I don’t know how to find a passion that’s about me and not about fulfilling a promise to her.”
“Take some time, think about things you liked as a child, things you liked studying in school. Maybe you want to be a soccer player again or find a book club that Malini isn’t in.”
He understood the assignment. He just didn’t like it. Though after what Nimita had confessed the day before, he felt he should put some real effort into this mission. He parked in her driveway and got out. He opened her door and walked her to the house. “How’s the job search going?”
Nimita’s smile broadened into excitement he had rarely seen before as she turned to face him. She laid her hands on his arms and squeezed as she bounced on her toes. “So I might have two potential offers. I’ll know by the end of the week.”
“You kept that quiet.”
“I didn’t want to jinx it.” She squeezed his arm, then as if just realizing what she was doing, pulled her hand back.
“Is that what you’re waiting for?” He leaned toward her and spoke softly. “Waiting to get this job, before we…?”
She flicked her gaze to his. There was no doubt of the longing he saw there. “What do you mean?” she asked. But she knew exactly what he was asking.
“I’m not bothered by the whole masa thing,” he said, matter-of-fact. “I would, in fact, love nothing more than to be Naya’s actual masa. If you were to think I was worthy.”
She paled and sweat beaded on her forehead.
“Wow.” He chuckled at her. “You just paled and got all sweaty. Calm down. I’m not asking you to marry me.”
“That’s what that sounded like,” she said, her eyes widening. “Because when a masi gets married, the guy is called masa.”
“I’m aware.” He turned to her. “Nimi. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know that I am completely in love with you. And I know that because I want to be with you in any capacity that you will allow.
“I know what you and Malini are saying. That I need to let go and find myself,” he said softly. “I need you to know that I am trying.” He gave her a half smile. “I have to say, Malini… Mali seems happier in her own place, and I feel closer to her. More like a brother, you know?”
She nodded and smiled. She was so close. He could feel her breath on his mouth, almost hear the thudding of her heart. Inches, and he could be tasting her again.
Nope. He pulled back an inch, and the moment was gone. She had to be sure, without their chemistry clouding their judgment.
“Good night.” He forced himself to take a step back and walk to his car. “I’m going to try woodworking next week if you are interested in joining.”