Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
The wait was torturous. All through the afternoon I was on tenterhooks, waiting for Matthew to pull me aside and have a go at me for being stupid enough to allow a boyfriend to move in with me when I had barely known him, but…he didn’t.
I kept watching Mark, wondering if he was drawing it out to punish me, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Was he angry with me? It was by far the most stressful family engagement I had ever attended and by the time lunch was over I was ready to get out of there.
“You’re not staying for the games?” my mom asked with concern when I bid everyone goodbye.
“Not this time. I have some work I need to catch up on.” A little white lie wasn’t going to harm anyone; besides, if I didn’t get out of the situation soon I would probably have a panic attack from the tension.
“Okay, sweetie.” My mom kissed and hugged me. “I love you.”
“Ditto.”
She smiled and I got my purse. “I’ll call you later in the week and we can chat. ”
“That sounds good. Have a good week.”
She saw me off at the door and I waved when I walked to my car.
When I got in my car, I felt the tension that had plagued me for most of the day begin to ease from my body. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and took a deep breath. I was so confused that nothing I had expected had happened.
The door to the passenger side opened and Mark got in.
“What are you doing?” I asked, taken by surprise at his unwanted presence. I bet he was going to yell at me for not locking the car doors.
“We need to talk,” he stated, like getting into someone’s car uninvited was normal.
“You didn’t tell Matt, did you?”
“No.”
I turned to face him. “Why?”
“He has a surprise week away planned for Sarah and I don’t want to ruin it.”
I had completely forgotten about it.
“Oh,” I murmured. “You going to tell him when he gets back?”
“Yes.”
I was only getting a momentary reprieve.
“I’ll have to pick up the rest of my equipment later, I need it for a shoot on Monday.”
“Sure. I’ll let the doorman know. They’ll let you in.”
He wouldn’t be there, which would make it easier.
“Okay then.” There was nothing left to say. I turned back and switched the ignition on.
He got out but, before he closed the door, he leaned down to my level. “Take care of yourself.”
“Same to you. You look like crap,” I couldn’t stop from snapping back at him. “Maybe give those late nights a miss and catch up on your sleep. ”
He frowned slightly before he stepped back.
I pulled away before I said something else I might regret.
The figure in my rearview mirror watched my departure and I felt guilty for being so bitchy, but how was I supposed to act when he was going to rat me out to my brother?
And, besides, how could he tell me to look after myself when he clearly wasn’t doing that for himself?
I kept reminding myself it wouldn’t be the first time my brother would be lecturing me about a decision I had made.
On the way to my place, I decided to take the detour to Mark’s place to get my stuff. The sooner the better.
The doorman greeted me with a friendly smile when I told him I was coming by to collect some stuff from Mark’s apartment.
“Mr. Bishop did call to inform me.”
He followed me up to the door of Mark’s place and unlocked it.
“Thank you. I shouldn’t be too long.”
“Take your time.”
It was strange to be coming into his apartment without him. Everything was still in the same place it had been just the day before. Mark was still at my parents’ place and would probably be there for at least a couple of hours. The urge to snoop was difficult to resist.
If he wanted me to know something, he would have told me. If he wanted to live his life without opening up to anyone, who was I to judge? If I got to live the way I wanted, surely he deserved the same.
I sighed as I walked to the room I had used. My stuff was still in the same place I had left it. It would take a couple of trips but I wanted it over and done with so I didn’t have to come back here.
While I got my stuff and carried it down to my car, I tried to pinpoint why I felt so betrayed by Mark.
Deep down I knew it wasn’t only because he was about to rat me out to my brother, it was more than that.
I couldn’t exactly be mad at him for not being the person I wanted him to be.
He wasn’t the same guy I had fantasized about.
No, he was nothing like the guy who had loved me back in my daydreams.
It was probably my own fault for having unrealistic expectations from the crush I had developed for him.
Finally, when all my stuff was out of his apartment, I took one last look around to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind. I didn’t want to have to go back for any reason.
On my way out, I lingered for a few minutes in the doorway, remembering our brief kiss in the kitchen. And then with a heavy heart I closed the door.
I found it difficult to concentrate on anything when I got back to my place.
I didn’t even have the energy to sort out my equipment, instead I left them in the boxes in the guest room.
Feeling flat and tired, I slumped down on the sofa.
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to get a grip on the negative feelings I was experiencing.
I tried not to think about Mark, my brother, or the upcoming hissy fit my brother would be throwing. Instead I focused on the fact that I hadn’t heard a peep out of Jack, which meant he had gotten the message.
Knowing I had to keep myself busy, I tried to focus on my photo shoot for the next day. I got the equipment I needed and put it to one side so I wouldn’t be late.
When my phone rang, I knew it was Sophie.
“What’s going on?” she asked bluntly. She knew me so well.
“I wasn’t in the mood for games.”
“What’s really going on?”
Silence fell.
“I told Mark I wasn’t going to let him blackmail me into staying with him. ”
“Really?” she gasped.
“Yeah. It was too much.”
“Why? What happened?”
I bit my lip as I contemplated telling her everything. She was the only person I opened up to about my problems.
“He is so secretive,” I began. “He doesn’t like to talk about anything, really. His family is off limits.”
I waited for Sophie to respond. “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“He would leave late at night and return in the early hours of the morning without any explanation.”
“He’s just a private person.”
I frowned. Why didn’t it bug Sophie as much as it clearly bugged me? Because she wasn’t in love with him, my mind piped up.
“It was depressing realizing he wasn’t the same person I fell in love with.” I paused, feeling the impact of saying it out loud.
“Why do you say that?” she asked softly.
Walking over to my window, I looked out to see the sun begin to set.
“I realized I don’t know anything about him. And he knows everything about me, even how I take my coffee.”
“Does that really make a difference?”
“I’m not sure what you mean?”
“You fell for the guy he is, not what his parents are like or if he has a big family or not. None of that matters.”
I leaned against the wall and found myself unable to argue with her. Was she right?
“I don’t know anymore.” Letting out a heavy breath, I tried to clear my muddled thoughts. “Besides, it doesn’t really matter anyway.”
“What happened?”
“Well, he pretty much told me he isn’t interested in being with anyone. He doesn’t want the responsibility of another’s happiness.”
I heard my sister sigh. “The guys with the baggage are always the irresistible ones.”
It was something to think about.
A few days later, I was seated on my sofa while trying to decide between two photos from my most recent job, but they were both so good it was difficult to choose the best. My phone rang and I answered it without checking the caller ID.
“Tracy,” my brother’s voice jolted me out of my task.
“Hi,” I greeted nervously. Then I remembered he had gone away with Sarah. “Bored of your vacation already?”
“No. I need you to do me a favor.” He sounded uncharacteristically anxious.
“Sure,” I replied, finding myself standing up.
“I need you to go and check on Mark.”
Mark was the most capable person I knew. He was the last person who needed checking on.
“Mark?” I questioned, sure I had misheard him.
“Yes. He isn’t answering my calls.”
“I’m sure there is some beautiful girl who has him distracted.” The words left a bitter taste in my mouth and a burn of jealously inside me.
“No, he wouldn’t ignore my calls. It’s been two days.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself back in Mark’s space even if it was a favor for my brother.
“Tracy, please.” It was the tone of his voice that touched something in me, and I felt my resistance crumble.
I sighed. “Fine.” I gave in reluctantly. If I refused, my brother may suspect something was up and that wasn’t a door I wanted open .
“I’ll send you his address,” he added.
“Okay.” I wasn’t going to reveal I already knew it. It was best for my brother to be oblivious.
It was only when I was on my way that I wondered why Matt hadn’t called Sophie. Why did it have to be me?
If Mark was refusing to take calls, I wasn’t even sure if he would let me in his apartment. I just hoped his doorman remembered me, otherwise this would be a wasted trip.
When I got to Mark’s apartment building, I felt nervous as I made my way inside. The same doorman from before greeted me.
“Hi,” I greeted back, trying to find a way for him to let me inside Mark’s apartment.
“How can I help you?”
“I need to pick some stuff up,” I said lightly, hoping he wouldn’t call Mark to confirm.
He seemed to consider my request for a few moments before he nodded. “Sure.”
I felt nervous the whole way to the door. The doorman opened the door for me and I thanked him before closing it quietly behind me.
The apartment was dark, the curtains were closed. I switched on a light. Mark was seated on the sofa as he nursed a drink.
Slowly he realized he wasn’t alone and his glazed-over eyes met mine. He was drunk.