Chapter 6 #3
“I’m right here,” she whispered, gripping him tighter. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His head came up and he met her eyes, looking at her full-on for what felt like the first time since he’d emerged in that demon-cursed clearing. She was so beautiful, with her red hair spilling everywhere and her gaze fixed on him. She was always so beautiful.
His chest so tight he could hardly breathe, he reached for her. Remember this is real, he told himself as he lifted her onto his lap, as he guided her on top of him and his cock brushed against her entrance. Stay here. Stay with her. Remember.
“Katya,” he said. It was all he could say, it seemed. “I—I need—”
“Take it,” she said, her voice fierce. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
With one sharp thrust, he possessed her. He wasn’t sure if he’d thrust upward or she’d slid downward, taking him, but either way, he was sheathed inside her, and her walls were fluttering around him, clenching, and he was shaking in her arms, and—
Ah, Saints. He wasn’t going to be able to make this last.
Katerina rose onto her knees, and the small movement almost undid him.
“Slow,” he cautioned her, gripping her hips for good measure.
She struggled to get free, teasing him, and he tightened his hold in warning.
Her lips brushed his neck, the sensation sending a shiver through him as she twined her fingers in his hair, squirming against him.
“Please,” she begged, her witchfire stroking him, finding his Mark and setting it aflame.
The touch undid him. He arched upward, into her, losing all control, and she met him thrust for thrust. There was no tenderness in their reunion, just hunger and desperation as she began to tremble all around him, as her head fell back and she cried his name to the stars.
He held on as she dug her nails into his back, marking him, the small pain an anchor in an ocean of pleasure.
And then she was kissing him, moving against him faster and faster, and his release was rushing up, seizing him, and he was the one crying out, ecstasy rising and falling and cresting again—
He lost himself in her, shuddering, her breath warm against his skin and her hair everywhere, the heat of her body clutching him as she fell over the edge again. He murmured her name, his eyes dropping to the place where they were joined, to prove to himself this was real.
And then he froze.
Shadows streamed from his fingertips, tendrils of midnight-black Darkness.
As if acting of their own volition, they curled around Katerina’s hips, lifting her so that she rose and fell along his length, rocking her body against his, giving him the friction he craved as he rode out his release.
She moaned, arching in his arms, as if she couldn’t tell the difference between Niko’s own touch and that of the shades.
He sucked in a harsh breath, then another, horror coursing through his veins. “No,” he said—to Katerina, to himself, to the night itself. “No.”
Above him, Katerina went still. “Niko?”
“Look,” he said, his voice tight. “Look, and tell me I’m not a monster now.”
He knew the moment she saw the shades. She stiffened, and along their bond, he felt her magic rise, as if in protest. She was disgusted by him. Horrified. Afraid.
Moving with the speed he usually reserved for battle, he lifted her off him and turned away, shaking all over. The shades were gone, vanished back to wherever they’d come from. But they were inside him—they were lurking—
You are nothing but what I made of you.
His hands lifted to his ears, trying to shut out her voice. But it was inside his head and it was screaming and he couldn’t make it stop—
He fell to his knees in the leaves, dimly aware that Katerina was kneeling beside him, her arms wrapped around him, begging him to look at her. But he couldn’t. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to face her again.
He had touched his Dimi with the Darkness. He had let it lick along her skin.
You can run from me, that implacable voice hissed.
You can hide aboveground and pretend you are something other than my pet, the black dog I bent to my will.
But you are fooling yourself if you think Katerina will want a debased creature such as you.
She will cast you aside now that she’s seen what you’re capable of, and you will be alone, you will be wandering, you will be a lost soul until I welcome you into my arms again…
“Stop!” The word tore from his throat. “Shut up, stop talking, get out of my head—”
Katerina’s arms withdrew, and a fresh wave of coldness washed over him. See, she doesn’t want you, she’s leaving, of course she is, the voice sneered. You belong with me—
Soft fabric came around his body then; his shirt, his pants.
Katerina was dressing him, giving him a barrier between himself and the world.
When she finished, she eased him down onto his side in the leaves and curled behind him, wrapping her arms tight around him once more.
Her lips against his nape, she murmured soothing words, all the while sending a steady stream of comfort down their bond.
“I’m here,” she said, again and again. “I have you. And if you are a monster, then so am I, and I will not let you go.”
At long last, the voice inside his head quieted and his hands fell away from his ears.
Around them, the night came alive once more: a hooting owl, a calling wolf, the rustle of the oaks and rowans in the wind.
He drew one deep breath, then another, knowing he should break Katerina’s hold lest he hurt her, wanting more than anything to stay.
In the end, he turned in the circle of her arms and wrapped his own around her, wordless, holding her tight. The last thing he felt before he slipped down into the cold, dark well of sleep were his Dimi’s tears on his skin, staining him, washing him clean.