Chapter 29 #2
He saw the flash of indecision on Katerina’s face a moment before she raised her hands to the sky. Her power flooded through their bond, leveraging him as she was meant to do, but with the shades rippling from his body, his soul ached as if it were being ripped in two.
That precious second had saved Alexei’s life, but it might have cost Katerina her own. The first hound leapt, fangs bared.
Water from the nearby stream gushed through the trees, dousing Alexei, as Niko let loose a roar that sent the trees trembling.
His shades seized the hound mid-flight, feeding on its essence until the creature shattered into fragments of ash.
The tendrils wrapped around one beast after another, absorbing their Darkness, as Niko flung himself into the fray, tearing at a demon-hound that had knocked Katerina to the ground.
Bloodlust took him, a red rage that fell like a curtain, leaving him single-minded and cold.
Kill, he told the shades, and they did his bidding, rising up in a whirlwind of fury.
His last conscious thought, before all thought left him, was that it was a relief to give in at last.
* * *
When he came back to himself, he stood naked in a killing field. Blackened, shriveled demon corpses littered the ground, caught between forms, and the rift in the earth had sealed, a dark, threatening seam. His shades curled at his feet like contented cats, sated and well-fed.
He cast his memory back over the stretch of time since he’d commanded the shades to kill and came up with…nothing. Panic gripped him, making his breath come short. What had he done, when he was out of control? Who had he hurt?
Sweat slicked his skin, dripping slow and ominous down his spine, as he gathered every bit of courage he possessed and lifted his head. Across the clearing, unharmed, stood Sofi, Damien, Alexei, and Ana, staring at him like they’d never seen him before. Like he was a monster.
They could look at him that way all they liked. It was nothing he hadn’t thought, himself. All he cared for was one thing.
Where was Katerina?
“Here.” Her voice came from behind him, clear and careful.
Niko spun to face her, chest heaving. And there she stood—face streaked with soot, gear newly torn, cheek scratched, but, by a miracle, otherwise unhurt.
He had saved her. But at what cost?
“Niko.” She reached out to place a hand on his arm, and he drew back, horrified. Did she not see the shades rioting at his feet?
“Don’t touch me!”
Hurt flashed in her eyes. With one sentence, he’d managed to do what an entire horde of demons could not.
The worst of it was, even like this, surrounded by the evidence of his corruption, he wanted her. He wanted to sink inside her, to possess her, to make her moan his name until he was sure they’d both survived. That he hadn’t lost her. Lust flared within him at the image, potent as her witchfire.
Perhaps it showed on his face, because she let her hand fall. “Are you all right?”
“Am I all right? You—you almost—” The words died in his throat. “It was my fault.”
Confusion knitted Katerina’s brows. “How could any of this be your fault, Niko? You didn’t summon those creatures! You’re not the one who’s hell-bent on my capture or my death. You saved all our lives.”
He stalked across the clearing, nudging bodies aside until he found his gear. It reeked of demon blood, but he didn’t care. He’d already bared the depths of his defilement. Having this conversation while naked was a bridge too far.
“I’m dangerous,” he said to all of them, yanking on his pants.
“Not to me,” Katerina argued, hands on her hips.
Across the campsite, Ana stared at the black scorch-mark where Alexei had rolled, trying to beat out the flames. “Nor to me,” she said quietly. “Were it not for you, I might have killed my Shadow. You saved Alexei’s life for a third time tonight.”
“Nor me,” Sofi signed, her hands shaking. “You protected Katerina, and she saved Damien. We are a team.”
His fellow Shadows inclined their heads in acknowledgment. “I don’t pretend to understand what I saw tonight,” Alexei said, “but I do know that if you belonged to the Darkness—if you were its tool—we would all be dead, Niko. You have my gratitude.”
“And mine.” Damien’s gaze flicked from him to Katerina, then to the muddy ground visible through the treeline. “Were it not for you both, I would be fodder for the Void.”
“You are all impossible,” Niko bit out through gritted teeth.
They were his friends. They still believed in him.
He was grateful for them, but they were fools.
Elena had gotten her hooks into Ana, somehow. She had sent those hounds to kill Katerina and reclaim him. He knew it down to the dregs of his divided soul. He should leave his Dimi; it was the best option. But first, he had to finish the work he’d begun in Kalach.
He had to devour as much of the Darkness as he could, the way he’d planned.
He would open himself up and take it in, swallowing it down until he was naught but its vessel.
He would rip the shard that animated the Dark Angel of War from the demon’s body, the next time their paths crossed.
And then, when he was full to bursting, he would ask of Katerina the same thing Gadreel had: to summon her Light and cast him into the Void, taking the Darkness with him.
She was strong enough to do it, especially if he were willing.
Much as she would hate it—much as he hated it—he saw no other way.
He had to die, and by her hand.