Chapter 4
HONOR
A groan slips past my lips as I stretch out and everything from the night before comes rushing back to me. I also realize immediately that I’m in bed, not just any bed but Savage’s, and his massive body is right behind mine with his arm wrapped around my middle, holding me secure to him.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
What was I thinking last night? Oh right. I wasn’t. I allowed myself the one thing I shouldn’t have. God knows I’m so stupid for giving into my body’s demands to do what I want and not think about repercussions.
Damnit all to hell. I’m a freaking idiot.
Worse even, I gave Savage my virginity, and I did it drunkenly, not thinking. God knows I should never have given it up the way I did, but it was amazing. Having Savage inside me, him taking me the way he did, it was something I never expected.
What needs to happen now is I’ve got to get out of here and away from him before he wakes up. I’m not sure how he’s going to react to me being in here with him. Especially considering we were both drunk last night and everything escalated from there.
Slowly, I inch away and manage to get out of the bed without waking Savage.
I quietly find my clothes and start dressing with my back to the bed.
Thanks to our night activities, my body is sore in places I didn’t even know was possible.
I’m definitely going to need a long hot soak in a bath filled with Epsom salt to help relieve all my aches.
“What are you doing in here?” Savage demands. His voice harsh and sleepy at the same time. It’s a beautiful sound at the same time not so nice.
I whip around, my shirt clinging to my chest, shielding him from the view of my breasts. “I’m getting dressed and leaving.” I do my best to make it seem like it’s not that big of a deal.
Savage throws the blankets off himself, gets out of bed, grabs a pair of jeans, and pulls them up, covering the part of him that scares me in the light of day. Savage is huge. Like seriously humungous. The best way to put it is it’s monstrous.
And that monstrous thing was inside me.
Oh God.
“I meant what are you doing in my room to begin with?” he questions, furrowing his brow, frowning at me.
Confused by his question, I give him a frown of my own. “Do you not remember last night?” I blurt out before my brain can catch up with my mouth.
Savage’s brows crease more—not answering me, but I watch his face as it all comes back to him.
He curses, lets a heavy breath, and shakes his head.
“Fuck.” Shaking his head, Savage reaches up and rakes both hands through his hair.
“Fuck. That should never have happened. It was a mistake,” he bites out harshly, looking at me.
“Don’t I know it,” I retort snarkily. There’s no way I will let him see how his words, him calling what happened between us a mistake, affect me. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll finish getting dressed and get out of here.”
“Glad you agree,” he remarks with a grunt and glances up and down my body, jaw clenching. “It’ll be good if we both forget about last night.”
“Already forgotten,” I inform him sarcastically.
It’s a total lie, but he doesn’t know it.
I have a hard time catching my breath, and my heart aches because I won’t be able to forget what we did last night.
For so long, I’ve had my virginity, and in one drunken night, I gave it away to a guy I’ve had a crush on for a long time, but he doesn’t even like me.
Worse, he sees what we did, what I gave him as a mistake.
Whirling away from him once more, I finish dressing, find my shoes, and get the hell out of there. I don’t want to give him the chance to say anything else that will make this situation harder for me than it already is.
Getting home, I park my car and release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Okay, so not really holding a breath, but finally taking in a full one. It takes more effort than I want to think about to keep the tears at bay.
In one night, I allowed myself to give away something I’ve seen as precious to me to a man I’ve wanted as mine. He then tarnishes that gift with his words.
I can still hear those words loud and clear like he just said them.
Knowing there’s nothing else I can do about it right now, I shove the thoughts to the back of my mind, turn the car off, and get out.
I make my way to my and Delaney’s apartment and let myself in. I immediately spot Delaney sitting in the corner of the couch, knees curled up and a cup of coffee raised to her lips.
“Well, look who’s finally home.” Delaney snickers jokingly, lowering the mug to rest it on her knee. “You don’t call, text, nothing, and I had to get a ride home from one of the prospects.”
“I’m sorry.” I really was. Moving to the couch, I throw myself on it and plant my head in her lap, forcing her to straighten her legs while lifting her coffee. “I did something I definitely shouldn’t have done last night.”
“Let me guess . . .” She laughs. “You stayed the night with that hottie you kept looking at.”
“I had sex for the first time with him.” I sigh, closing my eyes.
“Considering the way you say this, I’m not sure how to respond. Was it good?”
“The best,” I whisper and go on to tell her everything that happened, including the crush I’ve had on him forever.
I even tell her about walking in on him two months ago with his tongue down Dr. Tatem’s throat.
Delaney knows Dr. Tatem isn’t my favorite person and that she gives me a hard time at work, so she understands seeing this hurt me.
“We should go slash the tires on his bike or something,” Delaney mutters, not hiding the fact she’s furious on my behalf. “I mean what an asshole. I hope his dick rots off.”
“Oh God, don’t hope for that.” I giggle. “I mean, then he’ll just have me to blame for him losing his junk.”
“Better he blames you for losing his junk than you being hurt by him saying what he said,” Delaney retorts.
“True.” I sigh and look at the TV for a moment to watch the news. In the corner of the screen, the time flashes, and I groan. “I’m gonna go get a bath, then maybe take a nap.”
“Okay,” she murmurs.
Leaving her to the news and drinking her coffee, I head to my room.
I barely get the door closed behind me when my phone rings.
I pull it out of my pocket to find it’s the hospital.
I answer only to find out they need me to cover a shift tonight.
I don’t mind doing this. It’s not the first time, I’ve come in when someone calls out.
Instead of a bath like I intended, I make it a shower before hitting the bed. If I’m going to work a twelve-hour night shift, I’m definitely going to need a nap.