Chapter 5
SAVAGE
I could kick myself in the fucking balls for sleeping with Honor. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but damn, I went ahead and did the one thing I thought I could keep myself from doing.
Seeing her this morning first thing, dressing, fuck me if it wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. I knew Honor was beautiful, but seeing her the way I did after first waking, I realized she was more than beautiful. She’s got that beauty that reaches me, proving she’s pure light and sweet.
It gutted me to be an asshole to her and tell her it was a mistake that she needed to forget what happened. Honor did a damn good job of hiding the hurt, but I still saw it.
To make matters worse, after she left, I went to get back in bed and sure enough there was evidence right there in front of me of her innocence.
I might as well hand Gunner the gun and put it to my head before giving him the go ahead to kill me now.
Not only did I drunk fuck his sister, but I took her damn virginity.
Fucking hell.
I’m gonna have to talk to Gunner. Fucking his sister, I crossed the line, and I’ve got to make it right.
I swore years ago when I joined the club that I wouldn’t do anything to fuck up what I’ve gained. Not after everything I went through in the past. Hammer, Malice, and a few others know what I’ve been through, including Gunner, but the rest they’re in the dark on it, and I want to keep it that way.
Leaving my room, I head out and find out Gunner went home. It’s not surprising. It was going to get rowdy, and he did what he could to save Delilah from accidentally seeing anything she shouldn’t.
Inwardly cursing, I make my way out of the clubhouse to my bike. I can’t hold off on this. It’s not in me to keep something like this secret. I’m not that type of man. Out of respect for Gunner, I’m gonna head over and talk to him. Let him know that I fucked up and know it before apologizing.
The moment I pull into Gunner’s driveway, he steps out onto the porch, eyes narrowed, and I can see he’s pissed. I can all but feel his fury from the distance between us.
Yeah, he knows what I did last night.
I shut my bike off, put the stand down, and climb off the back. Here goes nothing.
Holding Gunner’s gaze, I make my way toward him, neither of us saying a word. Not until I’m on the porch and within swinging distance.
Gunner’s jaw twitches and he doesn’t waste a moment. He swings, slamming his fist into my jaw.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Gunner snarls.
I rub my jaw and stare at my brother. “No excuse, Gunner. I wasn’t thinking, and I deserved that punch and more.”
“Damn right you fuckin’ do.” Gunner’s eyes flare, but he doesn’t punch me again like I expect him to. “You fucked my sister.”
“I fucked up, and I know it.” I nod and let out a breath. “I shouldn’t have touched her. I knew she was off-limits. Still, I didn’t think, and I did it. I took her to my bed and fucked up everything.”
Gunner stares at me for a long moment and lets out a breath. “You care for her, don’t you?”
I don’t answer him as I turn to the porch rail and lean down, bracing my arms on the top of it as I stare out at the yard.
Do I care for Honor? I’ve thought she was beautiful and lusted for her, but I don’t know her.
Not really. All I can say about her is she’s a hard worker who works at the hospital and that she’s Gunner’s little sister.
I also know she’s got something she’s hiding. I can sense it.
Last night, I asked her about the pump I noticed, and she brushed it off as nothing. I didn’t think more of it because all I could think about was getting inside her.
Fuck.
“I don’t know if I do or not. All I know is I can’t get her out of my head,” I finally answer him.
Gunner comes to take the same position as me and sighs.
“You know, growing up, we lost our folks and ended up in the system. All I’ve ever wanted was for my sister to be happy.
For the longest time, she and I were all we had.
The system separated us a lot, and we didn’t get to see each other, but she had Glacier.
If it weren’t for the family she was staying with at the time, being into genealogy and all that shit, none of us would have found out we had more family.
All of us wouldn’t have a bond. Well, she and I don’t have the strong bond we used to . . .”
“She lives here to be close to you,” I interrupt him to point out.
“Yeah, that’s ‘cause I talked her into staying close. Especially after I found out about Delilah,” he says and twists enough to face me.
“More times than I can count, I’ve talked her into staying close.
But I always knew there was more to keeping her here than just my asking her to stay when she was ready to move on. ”
I follow suit and cross my arms. “I don’t have it in me to be with someone. You can be pissed at me for what I’m about to say, but I told her that it was a mistake and the two of us should forget it ever happened.”
Gunner grimaces, his jaw ticking. “I don’t want to be talking about my sister’s sex life, but I’ve got to ask. Did she agree with you on it? About forgetting about it?”
“Yeah.” I nod, remembering the way she agreed with me. There’s no way she’s going to forget what we did. Not when I took what I did from her.
Fuck me, I’m a bastard, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
“Then it’s between the two of you,” he mutters. “But I’m telling you now, if you want her and push her away, you’re losing out on the best thing that could be yours.”
“Nothing out there for me to make my own, Gunner.” With my past, we both know I’m right.
“You know as well as I do, that’s not true, brother.
I know you, Savage, you don’t do anything without thinking it through.
You had to care for Honor on some level besides the basic wanting and lusting for her.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have fucked her.
” Gunner scowls at the mention of me with his sister.
After leaving Gunner’s, I hit the road, needing to be alone.
Too much shit is swirling around in my head. All of it about a woman I shouldn’t have even been thinking of in the first place. Let alone touched. Images of the night before filter through my mind.
All of what Gunner said to me has me confused as shit.
I get him wanting his sister happy and asking if I care for her.
It’s what I would have done if . . . fuck no, I’m not about to go down that rabbit hole.
No fucking way. I swore a long time ago I wouldn’t let anyone close to me.
Not with what happened in the past. Not after all that I lost and left behind.
I hit the throttle, and the thundering sound of my bike hits my ears as I speed down the road heading for nowhere in particular.
I just need to clear my head. To stop thinking about Honor.
To get the memories of last night out of my head.
To erase everything that has to do with her. Everything to do with my past.
I don’t know what the fuck it is, but having been with her is bringing shit up in my head that I try never to fucking think about.
Fuck. Shit. Motherfucking hell.
Spotting a local bar, I decide to pull in and get a drink or maybe a fight. Something to get my mind clear of everything fucking with me.
The moment I step in the bar, the bartender nods in greeting while taking care of another customer. I make my way over to the bar and take up one of the empty stools, bracing my arms on the edge of the bartop.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asks, coming to stand in front of me.
“Jack straight.”
“You got it.” Tapping his knuckles on the bar, the bartender moves to fix my drink for me.
I nod in thanks when he sets it in front of me and hand him a hundred-dollar bill. “Keep it and let me know when I owe more. Just keep the drinks coming until then.
“Got ya,” the bartender remarks, taking the hundred and putting it in the register.
I watch as he cashes out the hundred, takes an amount for my drink out, and sets the rest aside, adding a note to it.
Sipping the Jack, I shove all other thoughts from my head. It seems to start working, at least for the time being. But then nothing ever works for long.
A group of guys come in, and one of them starts talking shit while the others laugh. At first, I don’t pay attention, but then the name Honor is mentioned, and I turn to them. I hear one of them talking about how he’s going to get ‘sweet Honor’ to give it up to him next weekend and I lose my shit.
Hopping off the stool, I take two steps to the group and yank the asshole who spoke around to face me.
“What the—”
He doesn’t get to finish before I have my fist pulled back and nail him directly in the nose.
A moment later, I’m fighting the whole group of them.
But having heard them talking about Honor, sure, it could have been a different one, but that doesn’t mean shit to me.
I take them all on like a rabid dog tearing up bone.
The bartender and a few others break the fight up as the police come in. Great, just what I need, for the cops to come in and lock me up.
“What in the hell were you thinking?” Rebel snaps, stalking toward my cell, waving the officer away, Rogue right behind her.
The expression on her face is one of woman fury, but it’s the one on Rogue’s that gets me, considering he’s grinning.
He doesn’t like to see his woman riled, but he’s also used to it. Doesn’t take much to make her, either.
“I wasn’t.” I grunt honestly, leaning against the bars while holding her gaze. I’d been waiting for hours on end for them to set bail or find out what was going on. I used my one call to call Rebel right after they booked me.
“Well, you’re a damn idiot. Do you know who you beat up?” she demands, planting her hands on her hips.
“Nope.” The word comes out with the P popping. I really didn’t give a fuck who he was still, I ask her anyway. “Who did I beat up?”
“The grandson of a senator.” With the way she states, I know she’s more than a little pissed with me.
“Great.” That isn’t what I want to hear or expect, but the fucker had it coming for what he and his friends were talking about. “So, you getting me out of here or what? I’m ready to get out of here. Or do I have to sleep here?”
Rebel blinks and takes a good look at me before she shakes her head, sighing.
“Just be glad I’m a damn good lawyer, the owner of the bar had video footage, and the bartender was there.
They heard what was being said. They talked to the senator’s grandson and his friends.
Told them that they’d make their lives hell if they pressed charges. So, you’re free and clear.”
“Well, thank fuck for that,” I mutter. I shouldn’t be surprised. The bartender had been a cool dude and probably wanted to do exactly what I did.
Rebel motions to the officer standing off to the side. “We’re going to the clubhouse, and you’re riding with us,” she tells me.
“I gotta go get my bike.” There’s no way in hell I’m leaving that behind.
“We already got it,” Rogue grumbles. “Prez has called church, and we’re heading there. He’s waiting for us to get there.”
Well, fuck. Guess I’m not going to get to sleep like I want or a shower.
More like I’m about to get my ass chewed by my Prez and VP.