Chapter 30
Zoe
“Why didn’t you tell me?” my mother demands as soon as Eddie, Chantal, and I walk through the door.
I’m so not in the mood for whatever this is.
It’s been two weeks since that fateful day I went to see Bennett’s parents, and while breathing doesn’t hurt as much as it did before, I’m still not myself. Sure, I’m trying to find joy in singing One Direction in the shower and baking Christmas cookies, but my pleasure is muted.
“What are you talking about?” Eddie asks.
My mother’s eyes focus on me.
Uh-oh.
“Macy’s mother called,” she says.
My heart pounds. “How did she know your number?”
“We’ve had the same landline for decades. Donna still had it written down.”
Right.
“And, uh, what did she tell you?” I ask.
We’re all standing in the front hall. I guess no one is going anywhere until my mother says her piece.
“Macy slept with your boyfriend,” she says, “and that’s why you moved out!”
“What?”
“You didn’t know this happened? It sure sounded like you did.”
“Of course. I caught them.”
Mom’s gaze snaps to Eddie. “You don’t look surprised. You knew?”
He scratches the back of his head. “Yes.”
Mom glares at him, then returns her attention to me. “Donna went to the apartment and the second bedroom was empty. She asked Macy why you moved out. Macy said something about you wanting your own space, but Donna knew that was just an excuse.”
“How?” I ask.
“When you’re a mother, you will understand.”
“How did she get the truth out of Macy?”
“By threatening to either kick her out of the apartment or make her pay more rent.”
It looks like my plan to get back at Macy worked out. She had to explain everything to her family after all. And while that does give me some satisfaction, I dread the rest of this conversation.
“So, why didn’t you tell me?” Mom demands again.
“Because…”
Because telling her stuff about my life often causes more problems. But if I say that, she’ll hold it against me. I’m tired of all the mental calculus I have to do when it comes to my mother.
I suppress a sigh. “I didn’t want to trouble you with it.”
There might be some truth to those words, even if it’s not the main reason.
It’s almost exactly what she said last year, when she got bronchitis and didn’t tell Eddie and me until weeks later. Though she probably thinks she’s allowed to say that to us, but not the reverse.
“Now I’m even more worried!” Mom cries.
Eddie puts a hand on her arm. “Zoe has a nice apartment to herself, and at least she discovered Clifton’s true colors sooner rather than later.”
“What about STDs?”
Oh god. Our parents never talked to us about such things when we were younger, so this catches me by surprise.
It hasn’t escaped my notice that my father isn’t here. I assume he’s in the basement, leaving the “drama,” as he might call it, to my mother. He’s always left any remotely difficult aspect of parenting to her.
“I saw a doctor,” I say. “Everything’s fine.”
“Where were you living for the last two months? I heard you moved out at the end of September, but you only just got a new apartment.”
Shit.
“She stayed with us for part of the time,” Eddie says, and Chantal nods.
“And with other friends,” I add.
“You were couch surfing?” Mom screeches, and in other circumstances, I might laugh. “You could have stayed here.”
“It’s too far from the office.”
“You should have told me, at the very least. I have connections. I would have found you an apartment faster, and I would have asked that boy what’s wrong with him!”
Okay, I admit I might have enjoyed that.
“Where does he work again?” she asks. “I’ll contact his boss—”
“Mom, no,” I say. “Cheating on his girlfriend has nothing to do with his job.”
She brushes this off. “He has such bad taste. You’re so much prettier!”
“Thank you?” I guess this isn’t one of the days when she critiques my appearance.
“And Macy! How dare she? You’ve known her since you were playing with Barbies. I yelled at Donna—it’s her fault that Macy turned out this way.”
“Macy’s thirty.”
“You think I don’t know this? You were born in the same year.”
While her reaction is a little over the top, a part of me is touched.
Sure, my mother might bring up stuff I did twenty years ago, and she’s never going to be my confidante—I don’t plan to tell her what happened with Bennett.
But she’s righteously angry on my behalf, and I know she’ll never forgive Clifton and Macy…
and possibly even Macy’s mother. My mom does care for me, even if it takes a lot of energy to deal with her.
“Next time you start dating someone,” she says, “you bring him to me right away. I can assess him for you.”
“Mom—”
“I will see if he passes the sniff test. Maybe I can do a thorough background check. I know what it’s like to be young, when you’re easily swayed by hormones and pretty hair and charming smiles.”
“Is there a story behind this?” Eddie asks, which earns him a glare.
“I’m not that young,” I protest.
“But it’s okay because you have me,” Mom says. “I can be objective.”
Yeah, I don’t know about that, but I appreciate the thought.
“Thank you,” I say, giving her a quick hug. “Now, I’m feeling a bit hungry…”
And with those magic words, my mom heads to the kitchen and starts bringing out food.
“Have you heard from Bennett?” Eddie asks in the Uber to Finch Station.
I shake my head.
I told Eddie and Chantal the whole story last weekend. Although he’s clearly pissed at Bennett, he doesn’t threaten to take matters into his own hands.
“You’ll find someone better,” he says.
“I will.” I say the words even though I don’t believe them. Right now, it’s hard to imagine being with anyone but Bennett Chung.
The next evening, I’m about to start a movie when my phone rings. It’s a ringtone I haven’t heard in a long time.
I pick up before second-guessing myself and lean back on my couch. Maybe it’s curiosity more than anything else. Sure, she’s sent me some texts since that fateful day I found her fucking my boyfriend, but she’s never called me.
“Macy,” I say. “What’s up?”
There’s a sob on the other end of the phone, and I immediately straighten up.
“What’s going on?” I ask more gently.
“He…he left me for someone else.” She hiccups. “I think he was already seeing her.”
If this had happened weeks ago, I might have cackled with glee. Macy is getting what she deserved. But she already had to tell the truth to her mother, and after everything that’s happened…I’m just tired.
“He’s a piece of shit,” I say. “A serial cheater.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. He made me feel so special.”
“I’m sure he did, but you were betraying me. Your longtime friend.”
“Best friend.” She sobs again. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let him come between us.”
“I accept your apology,” I say coolly.
“Can I come over now?”
“What? No.”
“I want to see your new place,” she says. “What about tomorrow?”
“Forgiving you doesn’t mean I want to be your friend again.”
I can’t pretend that nothing happened. While I harbor no animosity toward Macy—well, maybe just a little—I don’t need her in my life.
“Zoe…” she pleads.
I won’t let her tears convince me.
“Goodbye, Macy,” I say. “After this call, I’m blocking your number.”
And I do.
I don’t doubt that it’s the right decision. I have better friends—I’ve had better friends for a long time. So before watching the movie, I navigate to the group chat.
Me: Guess whose boyfriend dumped her for another woman?
Fiona: Ha!
Me: She apologized and thought I’d want to hang out again. I blocked her instead.
Karina: Good riddance.
I smile and put down my phone.
As I curl up on the couch, I can’t help wishing Bennett were here with me. He never set foot in this apartment, yet I feel his absence so keenly. There’s an ache deep inside me that refuses to go away.
But even though he broke my heart, I still hope he’s doing well.
The next day at lunch, I eat alone in the break room.
It’s after two—later than I usually eat, which is why I’m alone—but there was a minor catastrophe that I wanted to get sorted out before I had my food.
I stare out the window at the large flakes of falling snow.
I wonder if we’ll have a white Christmas next week. I hope so.
My phone buzzes. I take a look and nearly jump out of my skin when I see who it is.
Bennett: Can you come over after work?