Chapter 14 Josie
Fourteen
Josie
This is what it should have been
I’ve lost track of the days since Brett has called or attempted communication. I’m nervous today, though, as my attorney called with our next court date for division of assets.
If I’m honest, I have let myself get too comfortable. The phone call reminded me of this dread in the pit of my stomach Brett gives me.
I want to hold onto this peace. Maybe it’s because Justice is laughing more.
Maybe it’s because I’m not forcing myself to smile and keep going day in and day out.
Or maybe, mostly, it’s because of the man currently stretched out on my living room floor letting my son run toy cars up and down his arms as if his tattoos are part of a racetrack.
“You gonna jump in or keep supervising?” Dean teases me from the floor.
I roll my eyes, “I’m the best supervisor you’ve ever had.”
“Mom, I’m makin’ a map on Dean.”
Pushing down the thoughts and fears of Brett, I lean against the wall watching the two of them. Justice is completely at ease with Dean. It should scare me, but it doesn’t. Instead, it makes something deep inside my chest feel complete.
We spend another great weekend together. Dinner and bathtime complete, Justice is crashed hard, his head hitting the pillow and asleep before Dean finishes his book.
I stand in the doorway watching him breathe peacefully.
I didn’t know if I would have a moment like this for so long.
Here it is though. Part of me wants to stay right here prolonging Dean from leaving.
Once I move from this spot, it’s going to be another goodnight.
He will kiss me, and I’ll sigh. We will both lay in bed apart feeling the absence of each other, all because we agreed not to let things move quickly.
I walk back to the living room where Dean is sliding on his boots.
I sigh, “you don’t have to go,” I whisper.
He looks to me raising a brow, “Jo, don’t make this harder.”
“I know. Just when you stay it’s nice.”
He stands and moves to me rubbing my arms, “babe, I don’t want to playhouse. We do this shit, I don’t want to confuse Justice. I need to know you’re ready to share your space.”
I run my hand up his chest to his neck, running my fingers over his beard. “Stay,” I murmur rolling on my tip toes to press my lips to his neck. I feel his pulse throb as I silently hope he will see I am ready to share my space, my life, my past, and my future with him.
He exhales, his fingers digging into my hips, “Jo,” his voice is strained like he’s fighting a battle.
I don’t give him the words, but I give him my action. I kiss him, slow and deep. When he finally grips my waist pulling me in tighter, I know he’s gotten the message. A quick lift off my feet, I’m in my bed, tangled in the man who makes me feel completely alive again.
The sheets are now tangled around us, the air thick with our passion and my unspoken wish.
Eventually we will have the conversation. For right now, I want to fall asleep in his arms and wake up knowing I’m safe with him.
Raff
It’s the same day car. A white Toyota Camry.
I spot it as I’m tightening the last strap on my saddlebag.
It’s cruising the street that runs parallel to ours slowly.
Too slowly and it’s not the first time. Lately it pops up more and more between here, Josie’s work, Justice’s school, and even the fucking clubhouse.
I grind my teeth in frustration. The car never stops. They stay far enough away, I can’t get a plate or description of the driver. They don’t pull in. Casually, they drive by and watch. Sometimes it’s a loop and they do this for hours.
Just as I make the decision to follow the car they speed up, disappearing out of view. I exhale sharply, shaking off the tension as I head next door. I don’t have time for any of this and it doesn’t make me feel good about leaving.
Justice lights up as soon as I walk in, jumping off the couch and launching himself at my legs. I ruffle his hair while looking at the most beautiful woman on Earth look down at her kitchen counter sad.
“Leaving sucks,” she tells me the truth. I love this about us. Even when we don’t have good news or the best situation, we are real with everything.
“Yeah, Jo, it does.”
Her lips press together, but she doesn’t push.
Sara or Honey or someone must have given her the low down about not asking club business.
Maybe it’s her time as a military spouse where they are forced to trust the unknown.
Either way, it’s simply another reason we are meant to be.
She fits my lifestyle like no one else can.
Taking Jo’s phone off the counter and placing it in her hand, “You need anything while I’m gone, even a gallon of fuckin’ milk, you call Honey.”
She smiles softly. “I’m capable of getting milk.”
“Just tell me you’ll call Honey for anything.” I can’t hide my worries.
“Dean, what is going on?”
“We live in honesty together. That doesn’t change. There is a car. Could be nothing, could be something. Brett’s been quiet for months now. I can’t say it’s him, but I can’t say it’s not.”
She stiffens.
“I don’t like it, and I really don’t like leaving.” Her arms cross protectively. The weight of the fear settling over her. I hate this shit. I brush my fingers over her wrist. “Need to know you’ll call Honey.”
“I’ll call Honey,” she whispers. “But what about you? How do I know you’re safe?”
“Jo, there ain’t nothin’ gonna keep me from coming right back here to you.” I lean over kissing her softly. “I love you, Josie.”
She meets my gaze with tears in her eyes. “You come back, we’re not playing house, we’re moving in together. I have a lease but it’s going to be up in a few months. I know you own your house, but you can move in here with us if you would rather, we didn’t invade your space.”
I smile. “Baby, my space is your space. While I’m gone, you and Justice stay at my house. You got a key on your key chain, I expect you to use it. You got me?”
She nods, biting her bottom lip. “I don’t like this part of club life, but I understand it’s necessary.”
“I’ll be back soon as I can. Until then, you move to my place. And I should have shared this sooner, but it really sounds absurd to explain. Your lease is irrelevant since I own the house.”
She gasps, “what! The fence it was for you.” She seems to be realizing things.
“Yeah. I own the cul-de-sac as rental properties. The house on the other side of you I purposely left empty after Country Boy gave me the short version of the situation with your ex. I needed the circle to be a controlled environment for your safety. The house beside me is an elderly couple with a primary house in Ohio. When the snow gets too much, they come here for a month or two until they are ready to deal with the cold some more.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I’ve always looked out for you out of circumstance and I’m always going to look out for you. Just now, it’s because I am in love with you.”
She reaches up wrapping her hands around my neck and pulling me in for a kiss. “I love you too, Dean.”
I get lost in our kiss and I want nothing more than to take her to bed to make love to her entire body. I can’t though and leaving simply sucks.
Giving Justice a quick goodbye, I don’t drag it out, so he doesn’t overthink it and get upset. Climbing on my bike, I feel her watching me. The engine roars to life under me and she stands in her doorway giving me a soft wave.
Yes, I love her.
Josie
Two days.
No calls. No texts. No sign of Dean.
I tell myself not to overthink it. He’s fine. This is club business. It’s what he has to do.
But that doesn’t stop my stomach from twisting every time I glance at my phone, every time I hear a bike rumble in the distance and wonder if it’s his.
Justice doesn’t notice—thank God for that. He thinks we are house sitting for Dean and loves that it’s a different space for him. He’s happy enough playing outside, riding his bike up and down the driveway like he’s training for the Tour de France. But me?
I need a damn distraction.
I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts until I land on Sara’s name.
An hour later, Sara’s on my couch, Honey’s at my kitchen counter pouring drinks, and I finally feel like I can breathe again.
“You did the right thing calling us,” Sara says, pulling her feet up under her. “No sulking allowed.”
“I wasn’t sulking.”
Honey snorts. “Girl, please. You’ve been checking that phone every five minutes.”
I glare at her, but she just grins and hands me a drink. “Here. Alcohol helps.”
I roll my eyes but take it anyway.
Halfway through the second round, my phone buzzes—not with the name I’m hoping for, but with a FaceTime request from my cousin, Danae. She knows Sara from calling before when she’s been over. I’ve told her all about Honey and the Hellions, so I don’t hesitate to answer even during girls’ night.
I accept the call, and her face fills the screen, dark curls framing her sharp features. “There she is! My favorite single mom and her bad influence friends.”
Honey winks. “Damn right.”
Sara leans in. “Hey, D.”
Danae smirks. “Okay, what’s the occasion? Girls’ night, or is Josie Mosie stress-drinking over a certain biker?”
I sigh. “I hate that you know me so well.”
She laughs. “So he’s ghosting you?”
“He’s not ghosting me,” I argue. “He’s just… gone.”
Honey sips her drink. “Club run. Promise you that man ain’t ever gonna ghost her.”
Danae raises a brow. “And he didn’t say when he’d be back?”
I shrug, suddenly feeling stupid for how much this is bothering me. “It’s not like we’re married. He told me from the start he didn’t want to playhouse.”
Sara nudges me. “Doesn’t mean you can’t be worried.”
Honey nods. “And it sure as hell doesn’t mean he’s not coming back.”
Danae tilts her head, studying me. “Do you want him to?”
The question hits harder than I expect, and I don’t answer right away.
Because the truth is… yeah.
I do.
“He said when he comes back, we should move in together,” I drop the bombshell on all of them at once.
Danae smirks. Sara smiles. Honey is like a proud peacock.
“About time,” this comes from Sara.
“He was being patient for Josie,” Honey explains. “Not a doubt in my mind that man wants to put a ring on it.”
“What do you think about that?” Danae asks always concerned for me.
I smile shyly. “I want it. The way he makes me feel safe. Even now, he’s not here, but I feel him around me. I have butterflies just thinking about him. My happiness is with him. To watch him with my son is a dream come true. He is the total package just wrapped up in leather and boots.”
Sara laughs, “best biker husband description ever.”
“As happy as all of you seem to be, I need to find a biker,” Danae jokes as we all relax chatting away.
Time passes and Honey crashes here since her kids are with her brother for the night. I’m thankful for the company. Tonight was a good distraction for the time it lasted, but lying in bed I miss him all over again.
I do not want to live apart. Even if the whole he owns my house thing did freak me out since he didn’t tell me up front, I still want to have my nights in his arms.
Yes, I love him.
Dean “Riffraff” O’Neal has my heart.