Chapter 11 #4
They kept kissing until they were hard against each other.
They rubbed against one another selfishly, taking what they needed.
Eventually Jasper lifted a leg to wrap around Ryan’s thigh, shifting them into a position where their cocks could grind against each other.
They moaned into each other’s mouths and Jasper grasped at Ryan’s shirt, which was thin and not nearly warm enough for the temperature outside.
The cold was worth it, though—he’d missed the feel of Jasper’s frantic fingers pulling him close.
Early in their relationship, every week they spent apart ended with a feverish need to touch each other. It was impossible to count the number of times Ryan had felt those fingers grasp erratically at his body, tearing off his clothes and clawing through his hair.
Things had changed so much since then. Some of it was expected, of course. They’d aged. They’d stabilized. They’d grown distant. But Ryan was desperately lonely for what they once had.
Ryan pressed his cock harder against Jasper’s, but it wasn’t enough. Even through the bulk of their clothes, Ryan felt it—the simple shape of Jasper’s body, perfectly formed for his own, unchanged in any way that mattered.
Jasper’s calf pressed harder against the back of Ryan’s leg, and he let out a soft whimper—a sound Ryan loved and ached for often.
He wished things weren’t so frantic so they could get their pants out of the way and Ryan could feel the heat of Jasper’s body, the soft skin of his cock, the wetness from the pre-cum leaking into their underwear.
The thought of it was enough to make his mouth water.
Next time, he’d take it slow. Next time, he wouldn’t be doing this up against the wall of his sister’s house. Next time, he’d—
Next time?
“Jasper?” That was Shawn. “Wanna head out?”
Ryan and Jasper just stared at each other, breathing heavily.
“Um, yeah. I’ll be there in a minute and we can head home,” Jasper said, his eyes never leaving Ryan’s.
“Okay. You might want to… Well, I’m ready to go, so just… hurry up!”
For some stupid reason, the words felt like a new knife in Ryan’s gut.
More painful, like it’d been left in the fire before use.
Jasper ignored it all, pulling Ryan close again.
His throat made a different noise when Ryan’s body rubbed against his again, something close to a sob, broken and breathless—so close to coming Ryan could almost taste it.
But combined with the sobering realization that there wouldn’t be a next time, Jasper’s desire made Ryan pull back.
Jasper’s breath caught from the chill and his hands hung uselessly in the air, reaching out to Ryan’s retreating body.
When Ryan blinked to focus his eyes and saw Jasper’s face mirroring his own—hope, sadness, a bit of panic under the surface—he knew he couldn’t continue.
Not when it would only make things worse when it ended.
And it would end. Jasper didn’t want him anymore, not beyond this moment, and Ryan couldn’t afford to pretend otherwise.
So, he stopped, even though it felt like tearing something out of his own chest to do it.
“Ryan?” Jasper said, his voice cracking slightly.
Ryan wiped his mouth. Not to wipe away the kiss, that would be impossible, but to put some distance between them because he had to figure out what to do now.
Jasper was leaving with his date who was wearing a sweater with a light up Christmas tree on it.
Their kiss hadn’t changed anything. Jasper was still over Ryan, and nothing he’d said that evening had implied otherwise.
So, he did the only thing he could think of.
Something that would hurt them both, but in different ways.
He stepped forward and lowered his hand to Jasper’s still hard cock, stroking it with a soft, flat palm.
He trailed his thumb up to the tip, damp and warm through his thin pants.
Jasper’s head dropped against the side of the house and he let out a quiet moan.
“Ryan,” he said, thrusting his hips towards Ryan’s hand. “Yeah, please.”
“What do you need?”
“You know what I need. You always know.”
“I do. You need to come? You’re so hard. It’s been a while, huh?”
Jasper nodded with his head against the wall and tried to steady his breathing. “Yeah. It’s been so long. Please.”
Ryan didn’t say anything, just kept touching Jasper the way he knew he wanted and the way he needed, enjoying the familiar feel of Jasper’s cock for the last time.
Jasper was moving on with a man standing fifteen feet away, and he didn’t even respect Ryan enough to lie about it when they were breathing the same air and their bodies were pressed against each other. Ryan had no choice but to move on, too.
His hand stopped stroking and dropped to his side. Jasper’s hips shifted, seeking more contact.
Ryan pressed his hand against his own aching cock, willing his erection to go down. He and Jasper were still so close his lips were nearly touching Jasper’s ear, but he kept their bodies apart.
Ryan smiled painfully and whispered, “Have a good rest of your date.”