Chapter 20 #2
The same curl of tension twisted tighter, leaving him confused and vaguely hurt.
The only possible reasons for Ryan’s absence were that something was terribly wrong, or that Ryan was falling into old patterns.
A princess cotton candy chef sounded par for the course for a Ryan apology, and her presence made Jasper deflate even further.
Embarrassment burned his cheeks when he realized he’d made a fool of himself by believing Ryan’s stupid pleas.
“He wouldn’t miss Nina’s recital when he’s in the same town,” Stevie said.
“Wouldn’t he?” Jasper mused.
Beni leaned over and whispered something in Stevie’s ear. Stevie nodded and hummed an affirmative noise.
“Whatever you guys are saying, just stop,” Jasper said.
“Well, you’re being a huge asshole,” Stevie said.
Jasper checked his phone one final time before sliding it back in his pocket.
He’d missed one call, but it was from an unknown number, and they didn’t leave a voicemail.
Normally, that meant it was a debt collector or telemarketer.
Jasper was caught up on his bills and had no desire to be sold to, so he swiped away the notification and checked his text messages for the third time since arriving.
Ryan still hadn’t read the message Jasper sent an hour ago asking if he wanted to meet at the recital, or ride with him.
So, now he was ignoring texts again. Jasper sighed and decided he was going to forget about Ryan’s absence, enjoy the recital, and afterward, he was going to eat a lot of frozen yogurt with his niece.
“Did you see this?” Jasper asked, pointing at the program. “Costumes by Jasper Sanborn. That’s me.”
“Yes,” Beni said. “And listed right next to the emotional support dog. Very important.”
Jasper shrugged. “Jealous?”
She laughed. “No. Their costumes do look great, though. Thank you for your help, again. What a lovely uncle she has.”
Jasper’s smile faded as the lights dimmed.
He sat in his chair with his hands locked between his knees as the kids filed out.
They danced and twirled, Nina’s costume sparkling in a blur of pink and blue.
She caught her mom’s eye and waved, much to the amusement of the audience, but was quickly redirected back into the routine.
Jasper laughed, automatically looking to his left—leftover instinct to connect with Ryan over something silly and unexpected.
The reminder that he wasn’t there settled like rocks in Jasper’s gut. He wasn’t even sure why he was surprised, or why he let it make him so mad. Ryan was the one letting Nina and his sister down.
But this was Ryan. No matter how much Jasper was convinced he’d changed, or how much Jasper admitted he’d missed small acknowledgments of his love, the real Ryan was like this.
He didn’t even offer excuses every time, just missed events for things he deemed more important and made up for his misdeeds by throwing money at the people he hurt.
He imagined leaving the dance hall to find Ryan in the parking lot with a pony wearing a pink sparkly saddle, then huffed out a sad, resigned laugh.
After what felt like two hours but was actually twenty-three minutes, Nina’s recital ended. An older class was coming out next, so Jasper and the sisters used the intermission to find Nina backstage and take her out for frozen yogurt.
“I am really surprised about Ryan,” Beni said.
Genuine worry marred her face, and Jasper had to bite back the urge to roll his eyes. “I promise, he’s fine.”
“He hasn’t texted or called or anything, though. Did he text you, Stevie?”
Stevie shook her head. “No, nothing. But we don’t text that often, so that’s not unusual. I don’t think it means anything.”
“And he didn’t text you, Jasper?”
“No. He didn’t even view the text I sent him earlier asking if he needed a ride. But—” Jasper said, putting his hand up to halt any potential panic, “—this is what he does. It’s nothing to worry about, other than worrying about him being a little selfish sometimes.”
“Will you stop?” Steve asked, pinching Jasper’s arm.
Beni frowned. “I know you guys have some shit going on, but he wouldn’t miss Nina’s recital.”
“He’s fine, sweetie,” Stevie said, rubbing her arm. “I bet his car just broke down.”
“His three-year-old Land Rover with below average miles just… broke down?” Beni asked.
Stevie bit her lip and looked at Jasper.
Ryan was Beni’s brother, he reminded himself.
She didn’t have the same relationship with him that Jasper did, so she probably didn’t have the same expectations, and hadn’t noticed Ryan’s patterns to the same degree.
And she did look legitimately worried. Bringing attention to Ryan’s absence in front of Nina would upset everybody, so he decided to be nice.
“Would it help if I called him? I can find out where he is,” Jasper finally said.
“Or I could,” Stevie said.
“No, I’ll call him.”
“Thanks, Jasper. Yeah. I hope he’s okay,” Beni said, biting her nail. “I am actually kind of worried.”
Jasper smiled grimly. “He either got distracted by a handful of fans who asked him for photos, or got abducted by aliens. I’ll let you guess which is more likely.”
Beni winced and Stevie reached for her.
“Jasper!” Stevie said.
“I’m kidding!” Jasper said. “Beni, he’s fine. I promise. I’ll be back in a few.”
Jasper stood from where he was leaning against a wall and mumbled an apology in Beni’s direction, then headed towards the closest door he saw under an exit sign.
He sighed when he got outside and took his place against the exterior wall, scrolling through his call list longer than expected before finally landing on Ryan’s name.
It started to ring, the sounds of the unanswered call triggering a flash of misery inside him. How many times had he heard this sound, looking for Ryan, only to be called back an hour later with a lazy excuse?
He stayed on the line until Ryan’s voicemail picked up. But he had to be able to tell Beni honestly he’d done what he could, so he hung up and called back.
Ryan didn’t answer that time either.
Just before he reached to put his phone back in his pocket, an unknown number showed up on his screen. It was the same number that had called earlier, and once more during the recital. He decided to answer, since generally telemarketers didn’t try that hard.
“Hello?”
“Hello. Is this Jasper Sanborn?”
“That’s me.”
“My name is Liz. I’m calling from Western Mass Hospital.”
Jasper tried to remember if he’d been there lately for a specialist appointment, or maybe he’d missed a bill, but his mind came up blank.
“Oh, hmm. Okay. Hi. If this is about a bill, I—”
“I’m a nurse in the emergency department. You’re listed as Ryan Sullivan’s emergency contact, is that correct?”
“Uh,” Jasper said, swallowing. He stood up from the wall and pressed his fingers to his mouth. “Yes? That’s correct. Is he… Did something happen, or…?”
“Yes. We’ve been trying to call you for a bit. He’s in surgery now, but he—”
“Surgery? What happened?”
“I can’t give you details over the phone, but I can tell you he’s doing okay last I checked. Are you able to come here to—”
“Yes! Of course, I’m on my way. I’m, uh,” Jasper said, his hands shaking as he lifted the phone from his ear. He didn’t even know why he was looking at the screen, just searching for something to ground him. “I’m about half an hour away. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Okay. Go to the information desk, and they’ll send you in the right direction.”
“Okay, thank you,” he said. He hung up the phone and stood frozen by the doors, unsure what to do next. Go to the hospital, of course—but he needed to tell Beni. But he didn’t even have any information about what happened to him, so what did he even say?
His screen lit up. A text from Stevie.
Nina wants to stay to watch the big kids. Froyo delayed. Did you reach Ryan?
Jasper rubbed a hand over his face and typed out a reply with trembling fingers, sure it would be the wrong thing to say. He’d deal with the fallout later.
I’ve confirmed he’s alive. I’m going to find him now.