Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Not for the first time, Jasper was grateful the hospitals in Western Massachusetts were small enough that it wasn’t like being in an enormous, commercial-sized maze.
When he’d been driving back and forth to Boston to help his parents during various health events, everything had taken longer—hallways blurred together, parking garages required photographic evidence his car was ever there, unbelievable wait times for every single appointment.
He’d made it from the dance hall to the hospital’s information desk in thirty-five minutes, something that never would’ve been possible in the city.
The whole drive, he’d tried turning Ryan’s presence at that hospital into something reassuring—if he was there, not a larger hospital in Boston, maybe things weren’t as bad as they could’ve been.
And if they hadn’t called again, he was probably still alive.
Alternatively, maybe his injuries were so grievous they couldn’t get him to Boston in time. And maybe they hadn’t called back because they were trying to figure out how to tell Jasper his partner was dead.
The hospital didn’t know they weren’t technically together anymore. He wondered if it was an easier phone call when it was to an ex.
Shaking his head of the darker thoughts infiltrating his mind, he tapped on the information desk anxiously, standing on his toes, searching for the person who should have been sitting there telling him where to go.
After a few agonizing moments, a woman shuffled towards him with a kind smile on her face.
“Hi there,” she said.
“Hi. My name is Jasper Sanborn. I got a call about my, uh. Ryan Sullivan? He was brought here and they said he’s in surgery, but I don’t know why. And I don’t know if he’s okay. And I need to see him.” He stared at the woman for a second, before adding, “Please.”
“No problem. Let me take a look.”
Jasper breathed deeply as he watched her—older, gentle, but slow as anything he’d ever seen—search through the computer system. She started clicking her tongue and making confused-sounding noises, until finally, she smiled.
“There he is! I couldn’t find him at first because he’s been moved to recovery. We have old systems. They don’t always communicate.”
The relief was so great, Jasper’s legs went numb, nearly collapsing underneath him.
He leaned against the counter and put his face in his hands before he felt a tingle in his nose.
He looked up at the woman and found her smiling, tilting her head affectionately.
She reached for a box of tissues without a word and slid it towards him.
“Take this hallway to the elevator. Go to the third floor, and someone will bring you to him.”
He was already halfway down the hall before she finished her sentence, and he yelled a quick thank you before pressing the elevator button.
It took so long to arrive, Jasper gave up and blew through the staircase doors, taking the stairs two at a time before he ended up on the third floor and ran to the nurse’s station.
“Hi. I’m here to see Ryan Sullivan,” he said to the nurse sitting at the desk.
Her face lit up with a huge smile, then stood. “You’re Jasper?”
“Yes?”
“We’ve been hearing a lot about you,” she said, guiding him down a hallway. “My husband this, my husband that…”
Jasper wanted to love hearing that, but he didn’t. Instead, he was hit by a confusing mix of guilt and sadness that overtook the relief.
“This is him,” she sang, pulling back the curtain hung behind the door to Ryan’s room.
Another nurse was standing at Ryan’s bedside, pushing some sort of medication into his IV.
“Oh, is this him?” he asked, laughing as he typed something into the computer system. “I worry I’ve heard the name Jasper so many times in the last half an hour I might unconsciously decide it’s a good baby name.”
“Yeah, I’m sure Jessica would love that,” the other nurse said. “Nine months of hard work all to name her child after the husband of a patient.”
“It’s a beautiful name,” Ryan said from his bed. His eyes were glassy, softened by whatever medication the nurse just gave him. “For a beautiful person.”
He was under a few thin blankets, but Jasper could see a line of bandaging across Ryan’s shoulder and chest. It appeared to cross half the distance of his upper body, from the center of his neck all the way to his arm.
His lower arm was in a cast, too, but it wasn’t even a fun color, just plain white, probably because Ryan had been unconscious when they’d done it.
Jasper’s stomach turned on itself imagining what he’d been through.
Ryan’s fingers gave a small, eager wiggle towards the door. A sad, wet laugh bubbled out of Jasper when he saw it, and he hurried to Ryan’s bedside.
“Are you okay?” he asked, stroking Ryan’s hair with a shaky hand.
“I’m great now,” Ryan said, gazing up at him with sleepy doe eyes.
“What happened?”
Ryan grunted. “Logan.”
“Logan? Like, park Logan? Or, which Logan?”
“A spider hit me in the face.”
“A spider hit you in the face?” Jasper asked, wholly unprepared for how confusing a conversation with a post-surgery patient would be.
Ryan nodded. “I fell.”
“Okay,” Jasper said, patting the visible parts of Ryan’s fingers and glancing at the remaining nurse. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll take you home in a little bit.”
“Mmm,” Ryan said, closing his eyes.
“He’ll be fine when he wakes up. He just got here. Give him an hour,” the nurse said before leaving the room.
Jasper pulled the chair from the corner and set it next to Ryan’s bedside.
He texted the group chat he had with Stevie and Beni to avoid talking on the phone, telling himself it was so Ryan could rest. Ryan was in no state to follow a conversation, and he probably wouldn’t even notice the noise, but still, Jasper found himself eager to stay just the two of them for a few minutes longer.
He’d spent months convincing himself that rationing their time together and slowing things down was the answer to future heartache.
But now that Ryan was here, bruised and unconscious, every minute with him felt precious enough to make Jasper question everything he’d been so sure of.
Ryan opened his eyes, blinking to clear the fuzz, and found two worried faces hovering above him—his sister and Stevie, both of whom immediately blew out a relieved breath when he managed a small smile. There was one face missing, but he swallowed down his disappointment.
“Oh, thank God,” Beni said.
“Hi,” he said.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“I fell off a ladder at the park. I think.”
“That’s what the doctor said, but he wasn’t sure of the details,” Stevie said. “You broke your clavicle and your radius.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” he said.
“No. But you should be fine. Just no lifting things for a while.”
Ryan frowned. “Well, that sucks. That’s my main hobby.”
Beni laughed gently and pushed some hair off Ryan’s forehead. “It does suck. But it’s okay. You’ll move in with me and Nina for a few weeks. As rent, you will cook me delicious meals with your one good hand.”
Ryan laughed, then flinched at the pain. “Ow,” he groaned.
Beni rested her hand on his forehead, maybe to ensure he was all in one piece. “Sorry. No laughing. I called Mama and Daddy, they’re on their way.”
“Beni! They do not need to fly here for a broken arm.”
“Well, I have work. And they were due for a long visit anyway, and nobody wants you to be all alone.”
“I am a grown man. I can handle hanging out by myself.”
Beni shrugged. “Fine, you be the one to tell Mama she’s not allowed to take care of you, then. Better do it soon, because I’m pretty sure they’re packing as we speak.”
Ryan sighed and dropped his head back against his pillow.
His parents were great, that wasn’t the issue.
It was just another reminder that everything about his life was different now.
His marriage, questionable; his career, over—doubly so now that he had this injury so late in life; his hobbies of handiwork and building, small things that made him feel useful, were impossible for the foreseeable future.
And now, as the cherry on top, he needed his aging parents to take care of him because he had nobody else.
The curtain hanging in his room pulled back temporarily when someone new walked in. For a second, he expected his mom but realized quickly that made no sense. Obviously, it wasn’t her, but who it was felt nearly as surprising—Jasper, with a drink holder full of warm drinks.
“Oh! You’re awake,” he said, smiling. It faded when he glanced down to the drinks in his hands. “I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry. I figured you’d be asleep for a while.”
“That’s okay,” Ryan said. His chest tightened from his racing heart. He was grateful the vital signs monitors were muted, sparing him the humiliation of his feelings being broadcast to the entire room.
After a few moments of small talk, Ryan’s nurse came in with discharge paperwork.
“You’re sending him home already?” Beni asked.
“He’s healthy and strong and doing great. We don’t keep people overnight too often.”
“Oh,” Beni said, worrying her eyebrows.
“I’m fine, Beni. It’s one arm.”
“That’s right,” the nurse said. “Sucks that it’s your right one though, huh?
Anyway, here’s your packet. It goes over what your injuries were, then lists your medications, and has some follow up information on the back pages.
You are good to go whenever someone gets here to wheel you to the pick-up area out front. ”
“Thank you,” Ryan said.
“Thank you for your help,” Beni said. She turned to Ryan. “Well, here we go.”
“Are you sure you can handle this, Beni?” Jasper asked.
All three of them turned to look at him.
“What?” Beni asked.
“I mean, you’re... I don’t know, I’m just asking. He could come home with me?”
“No,” Ryan said, half regretting it immediately. “I’ll go with Beni. I already have a room there and everything. It’s not your job anymore. Plus, our parents are coming to visit.”
“Oh,” Jasper said. “Yeah, sure. That makes sense. I just thought I’d offer.”
Ryan was doing his best not to read into Jasper’s suggestion—it was probably just guilt talking, or practicality, or the fact that Beni would be the one stuck handling everything if other people didn’t help out.
It almost had to be something uncomplicated like that, knowing Jasper.
But deep down, he hoped it was something else.