21. Camden #3
She sent it and I opened Instagram.
#brisbane #botanicalgarden #lorikeet #TheBirds #littlescared
“There. Happy?”
“I am, Cam,” she answered, and we left the rainforest behind and headed towards the bonsai area. “But are you?”
“What do you mean? I’m at the Olympics. We just won a bronze medal.”
“That little birdie didn’t make me forget.
Are you dating anyone, Cam?” Who knows what my silence made her think.
“I know you don’t have a lot of free time with school and gymnastics, especially when the Olympics have been looming this entire last year, but...
I’m curious, that’s all. You look out for me. I’m looking out for you, sweetie.”
“Let’s grab something to eat. I’m starving.” I could see the restaurant in the distance. We found a table and ordered quickly.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I was trying to figure out what to say.
I never thought it would be this difficult.
My mom had a few gay friends at home. She had never said anything anti-gay.
In fact, I had heard her say several pro-gay things whenever some conservative politician on television spouted the latest hate bullshit.
She would usually swear and change the channel.
So why were my palms sweaty and my throat dry?
I took a sip of my iced tea and cleared my throat.
“Well, the thing is...it’s complicated,” I started.
“Is it?” she asked, curious but not pushy.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while, but there was never really a good time.
And now, I just feel like I’m not being myself around you and it feels weird.
” I could see the concerned look in her eyes, but I looked down at the table and kept talking.
“I know it may come as a surprise to you, but when I date someone...it’s going to be a guy.
Because I’m gay. I have been since I can remember. I just kept it to myself.”
I forced myself to look at her and saw her smiling, a hint of a tear in her eye, and I watched her hand reach across the table and grab mine.
“I love you, son. And who you are will never change that.”
“You’re not surprised?” I asked, a little taken aback.
Before she could help it, a little laugh escaped her lips, and she looked guilty as she said a quiet, “Sorry.” She explained, “I was pretty sure you were. Had a feeling, anyway. I didn’t want to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable by asking about it.
I wanted you to tell me on your own, when you were ready. ”
“Really?”
“Oh Cam. You’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never heard you once talk about a girl...
that way. You had zero posters of women on your bedroom walls growing up.
In fact, you had posters of Zac Efron and the Jonas Brothers.
You used to come down to the flower shop and put flowers in your hair and dance arou-”
“Okay, okay. I get it. I will give you the bedroom posters were a strong clue, but dancing around with flowers in your hair is for everyone.” I couldn’t help but smirk at her observations.
“And there it is. The spark I’ve been waiting to see.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“You haven’t been this relaxed and happy with me since I got here, but now I know why,” she answered, then playfully added, “though I have seen this side of you when you’re around another person.”
“Another person?”
“You want me to say his name?”
“I’m not sure to whom you’re referring, but if it’s a man that I might be spending time with in some sort of romantic fashion, I can assure you it is far too early to be naming names, even privately.
His parents don’t want him dating, and I’m far too nervous about it to even admit to you it’s happening. ”
“Clearly,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but I approve.”
“You do?”
“I’m not naming names either, but he seems like a considerate, young man, and he’s pretty easy on the eyes, too. But why don’t they want him to date?”
“Okay, okay. Where is the real Heather Kane?”
“What?” she asked. “I can’t dish about guys with my fabulous gay son?”
I’ll admit, it was nice to hear her say that. “We can talk about any guy you want, just not the one I may or may not be dating. And fabulous, Mom? Really?”
“Oooh, so there is one?”
“God damn it. I thought you already knew.”
“I’m just messing with you, Cam.” Her laugh wrinkles briefly danced across her face.
“As for his parents, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to talk about it, so I haven’t pushed him. We’re...still figuring things out.”
“Understandable, but I’m your mother and it’s my job to look out for you. I hope you are happy and know that you have my full support. However you want to handle this with, you know, the rest of the world.”
“Well, I’m probably not having a press conference or anything, that’s for sure.”
She feigned fiddling with her phone. “Oh damn, I’ll just delete this email to Good Morning America then.”
“Ha ha. Too funny. Are you ready to head back?”
“Why? You have a hot date?”
I stuck my tongue out at her and left money for the meal on the table.
I might.