1. Zach #2
I retreat to the sofa and drop onto it like a dumbbell.
I shouldn’t be letting her get under my skin like this.
But she has. Maybe all I need is a night or two away from here—enough time for her scent to fade to nothing.
My stare falls on the square table, a napkin folded up under one of the legs to stop it from wobbling on the laminate flooring.
The sight of the cold, congealing dinner on the plates makes my stomach turn.
I stand, stride to the table, grab the plates, and throw them into the bin.
Maybe I should have used the garbage disposal, but I still haven’t got used to having one.
I’m supposed to be packing a bag. I make it as far as the bedroom door. I even wrap my hand around the handle, but I can’t bring myself to open it. I can’t go in there. I return to the sofa instead and sit, tapping my fingers together.
Officer Vale comes back inside. “Are you ready?” He hesitates, glancing between me and the closed bedroom door. “Do you want me to throw a few things into a bag for you?”
I almost burst into tears, but manage to sniff them back. Officer Vale seems kind, and all, but the thought of having anyone else go through my things makes my skin crawl. Besides, I don’t want to touch any of it if she has. I shake my head.
“A lot of Halo House’s guests have to flee their current circumstances. There’s always things on hand for people who show up with nothing.”
But I don’t have nothing. I have drawers and a closet full of clothes. I’m just being pathetic.
“Come as you are,” Officer Vale says kindly. “It’ll be fine. You can borrow some clothes and things. Are you ready?” He gestures toward the front door.
“Yes.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “You’ll be safe at Halo House,” he promises. “Everyone will make you feel at home.”
“Thanks.”
I follow him out of the apartment, shoulders hunched, head down.
I’ve never ridden in a police car before.
I never thought I would. As a kid, I dreamed of being able to go in a police car, with the sirens blazing.
But not like this. Not under these circumstances.
I sit in the back, my head tipped against the window, not paying much attention to what’s outside.
We stop at the precinct and drop off Officer Vale’s partner.
Is this normal? I realize this cop could be taking me anywhere, but something about him means I’m not afraid.
Of him, at least. Maybe it’s because he’s giving off caring vibes, or because the tone of his voice helped calm my frantic heart.
I trust him, possibly because he feels like the only thing that’s halfway safe in my life right now. God, I really am pathetic.
I gnaw on the skin around my thumbnail, finally taking in the outside world.
We’re not in NoHo anymore. We’re on a… What do the Americans call them?
Not a motorway. Oh, right, a freeway. I don’t drive.
The sky is getting darker by the second, while the sun is staining the horizon red.
At least it’s a different shade of red to the rose petals, more dark orange, really.
“Where is this place?” I ask.
Officer Vale glances into the rear-view mirror, allowing us to make contact for half a second. “Headland Cove. Phoenix’s place is near the beach.”
I like the ocean. I stupidly thought I’d see more of it when I moved to LA, but between working, commuting, and doing auditions, I don’t have time to head to the coast. Not being able to drive turned out to be a huge problem, too.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d taken UK public transport for granted.
I debated using my film fee to learn how to drive, but figured it was best to put most of it into savings in case money got tight.
“Are you allowed to do this?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Play babysitter to me when you’re meant to be working.”
He laughs. “I’m not playing babysitter. I’m doing my job. You need protecting, and that’s exactly what I’m doing by taking you somewhere safe.”
“What about your partner?”
“I left him doing paperwork.” He drums his fingers against the steering wheel. “So, this movie you were in… Am I likely to have heard of it?”
I shrug. “Not unless you like teen movies.”
“Try me.”
“Confessions of a Teenage Jock.” I grimace at the title. “I played the teenage jock.”
“The lead role?”
I nod.
“Congrats. And, you’re right, I’ve never heard of it. Sorry.”
“I’m not offended.” I drum my fingers against the car door. “Are you sure it’s all right for me to go to this place?”
“Halo House? Yes. I wouldn’t have suggested it if it wasn’t.”
“It’s just… No one in LA knows I’m…”
“Gay?”
“Yeah. My family does, but…”
“You don’t owe me any explanations.”
I clamp my lips together.
“You’ve got to do what’s right for you. And you don’t need to worry. I won’t go telling anyone your business. Nor will anyone at Halo House.”
I’m not sure if I feel relief or shame. “Thanks.”
We lapse into silence. At some point, we turn off the freeway onto a more winding road.
Occasionally, I catch glimpses of dark waves crashing against an even darker shoreline.
Some time later, the lights of a town glimmer in the distance.
We pull off the road before we reach them.
An ornate gate opens for us, and we enter a paved driveway that leads to a three-story, colonial-style home, complete with white columns framing the entrance porch.
Officer Vale has to come around and let me out of the car. I’ve barely stepped foot on the driveway when the front door opens. A willowy man with long, platinum-blond hair and light, flowing clothing sweeps toward me.
He extends his hand. “I’m Phoenix. Halo House is my home. Aaron tells me you need somewhere to stay for a while.”
My throat constricts. Phoenix is beautiful. He has a fae-like quality. There’s no other way to describe his ethereal nature. But I have to speak, so I accept his hand, noting the lightness of his grip, and croak, “Yes. But, just for one night. Umm… Who’s Aaron?”
“Officer Vale.”
“Oh, right.” I rub the back of my neck. “It’s just my apartment got broken into, and I’m a little freaked out. I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I just… I couldn’t face sleeping there tonight.” I stare at the ground and shuffle my feet. “I’m sorry to impose, but Officer Vale suggested I’d be welcome here.”
“You are welcome here, and you have nothing to apologize for, dear. Come inside. Would you like me to show you around?”
“No, thanks. I think I just need to sleep. Or at least try to sleep, anyway.”
“Of course, I understand. Would you like me to take you to the closet, so you can pick out clothes and anything else you might need?”
My nerves are too fried to care about clothes or anything else right now. “Could… Could that wait until tomorrow, too? Please?”
“Absolutely. I’ll show you to your room. We can talk tomorrow.”
The next morning, footsteps and chatter float past the bedroom door, but I can’t bring myself to step foot outside to see what’s going on.
It’s morning, and I’m still in yesterday’s clothes.
I thought I’d fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, but the reality was very different.
I tossed and turned, and when I did finally succumb to sleep, she filled my dreams. The scent of her perfume.
Her voice, like nails dragged down a blackboard.
Her touch. I woke, sweating, and then spent the rest of the night sitting in the middle of the bed, my knees hugged to my chest like a frightened child. I’m so pathetic.
Someone knocks on my door, and I practically jump out of my skin. This isn’t like me. I traveled halfway around the world, alone, to follow my dreams. Now I’m a trembling wreck in a stranger’s home, too afraid to close my eyes.
The knock repeats.
I force out a, “Come in.”
The door opens, and the man from last night, Phoenix, comes inside, smiling. “How are you feeling this morning?” His cool gaze slides over me, probably taking in my day-old stubble, my disheveled clothes, and the bags under my eyes.
“Fine,” I lie. “Thanks for letting me stay here last night. I’ll, uh, get out of your hair now.”
“You don’t have to. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
I sense a but, so I meet his gaze, waiting for him to continue.
“I’m not sure how much Aaron told you about Halo House.”
“Umm… He said it was a safe place for queer people who have nowhere else to go.”
“Yes, that’s correct. We refer to them as Angels.”
Now the name of the house makes sense.
“And, as I said last night, you’re very welcome here.”
“But I do have somewhere to go. I have an apartment that costs a bomb, actually, and…” I press my chin against my knees and pick at my jeans.
“Do you feel safe going back there?’ Phoenix asks gently.
Tears prick my eyes. “No,” I croak out. “But I have to.”
“Why?”
I blink. “Because you must need this room for someone who actually deserves it.”
“You do.”
“But, ‘nowhere else to go’ usually means homeless. I figured this was a place for queer kids who had been kicked out of home or something.”
“That’s one reason Angels end up here, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re not welcome to stay.
If you want to. It’s your choice, Zach, no one’s forcing you to stay, and I’m certainly not asking you to leave.
” He sits elegantly in the armchair by the dresser, one leg draped over the other.
“Why don’t you tell me a bit more about yourself? ”
“Didn’t Officer Vale tell you?”
“I’d rather hear it from you. Could you tell me why you’re afraid to go home?”
“A woman broke into my apartment last night. She’s been sending me fan mail ever since my movie released. She was there when I arrived home and…” I stiffen. “It was terrifying finding someone in my home.”
“I can imagine. I’m so sorry.”
“The police have her in custody, so me not wanting to go home is totally irrational. There’s no reason I can’t go back to my apartment.”
“Except that you don’t feel safe there anymore?”
“No.”
“Perhaps staying here for a while will help you work through that fear.”