27. Ivy Thompson #2
JJ squeezes my hand again, and I glance up into his eyes. I notice how close we are as I roll over. Noses merely inches apart from one another as we lie against the cool grass and listen to the silence of this small town.
Peaceful .
“I wish I could be with them,” he admits.
“Could you go out to visit?”
His head shakes once. “My dad said the fewer people, the better. We don’t want to cause her stress or increase pressure. I mean, it broke my heart when he told me, but I understood. Sometimes I think he forgets that she’s my mother, not just his wife. It hurts.”
I bring up our entwined hands and press an instinctive kiss to his knuckles.
Feeling that way must be agony, and I wish I could take his pain away.
JJ’s lips fall open when I pull my hand away, his eyes staring at my mouth and then our hands. His expression is a look of surprise, I suppose I’ve never really shown true affection towards him before. But it feels natural.
“Well, you might not be able to support her in person, but you can support her in spirit,” I whisper. “I’ll keep her in my prayers, too. And I’m sorry your dad thinks that way.”
“We’ve always had a strange relationship.” He sighs. “I know he just wants to see us succeed, but in the way he wants. And it’s exhausting sometimes.”
I hum. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you’re still doing your video stuff, despite what he thinks. It’s your passion, and you shouldn’t give up on it.”
“I just don’t want to let him down,” he rasps.
I push myself up a few inches as I stare down at him. “You couldn’t let him down. You’re smart and creative, and if making videos makes you happy, then never stop. I bet they’re both really proud of you, regardless.”
JJ makes a sound before closing his eyes. “I don’t think my father has ever told me he’s proud of me.”
My heart sinks at the pain in his voice. “Does he struggle to voice his emotions?”
“Yeah, I get that from him, too, I think.”
“I don’t think you struggle with your emotions.”
He exhales a tight laugh. “Trust me, I do.”
I purse my lips before frowning. If anything, I’m the one who struggles to voice their emotions.
He releases a sharp breath and glances down at my arms as a gust of wind whips against my skin. “Are you cold?”
I shake my head, even if my skin rises in goosebumps.
The corner of his mouth twitches. “Liar.”
“I’m not lying.” I try to hide the shiver that runs down my spine.
JJ’s hands move forward and snake around my body within two seconds, tugging me into his warm chest. My leg rises and lands between his, his muscly arms swarm me, and I rest my head over his beating heart.
I take a shallow breath as I melt into his arms. A place I’ve secretly wanted to be since I met him that night at the bar. And now I’ve given in because I can no longer deny myself the sensation of being close to him.
I flick my eyes across the stars in the sky. When I was younger, I always tried to find as many constellations as possible. I’d Google when they were most visible and what time to look out for them.
“Look!” I point my finger up. “You can see Scorpius. Well, half of it anyway.”
JJ flashes me an unsure look. “Scorpius?”
“That’s its name.”
“Where?”
I take JJ’s fingers and point to where I can spot the upper portion of the constellation, as the lower part isn’t visible here. Our cheeks are merely inches from one another. “There.”
My head turns slightly as I watch JJ squint into the sky. “Still can’t see it.”
“Try harder,” I laugh. “It’s right there. Can you see that really bright star? That’s Antares. It’s the easiest way to spot Scorpius.”
“Where?”
“Oh my god, JJ. It’s right there!”
JJ turns to me with a grin, our lips could easily brush if I leaned in, but I freeze. “I’m just teasing, princess. I can see it.”
I roll my eyes and drop his fingers.
“Are you into astronomy?”
“Finn bought me a telescope when I was sixteen, and I literally was out here every night trying to see all the different constellations.” I laugh to myself.
“It was the best gift I’ve ever received.
There’s something calming about looking out at the stars and wondering what else is out there, you know? ”
JJ hums in agreement. “Yeah, I get that. It’s an interesting thought, and there is no way we’re the only intelligent life in the universe.”
“Exactly! And it’s rare to see Scorpius so brightly, so think yourself lucky.”
“I’m a Scorpio.”
“That explains a lot,” I mumble with a smile.
JJ turns to me and grips my hand again, dropping it to his chest, entwined with his. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing…” I trail off, my fingers vibrating against the beat of his heart. “They give good advice, but sometimes they’re bigheaded.”
His mouth falls open, and he tugs me impossibly closer. “That is a lie.”
“Is it?”
JJ rolls to his side but keeps my leg over him. “Actually, they’re loyal, patient, and protective.”
I study the shape and curve of his lips as he whispers the last word, and I know I shouldn’t be looking at his mouth right now—not in his vulnerable state. My heart beats out of my chest, the air between us becoming thinner and thinner.
“You’re freezing,” he says as he rubs his hands over my arm, and it sends waves of fire across my skin.
“Doesn’t bother me, I like summer nights,” I murmur into his T-shirt.
His other hand cups the back of my head, and he smooths down my hair, the motion making my eyes flutter shut.
Something is telling me that this is right, and I need to stop pushing him away.
“Your heart is beating incredibly fast,” he comments.
My eyes ping open, and when I try to push myself off his chest, he doesn’t let me. He cages me in with his large arms. “Because you’re crushing me,” I gasp with a chuckle.
I feel his lips press to the crown of my head, and I melt back into him again, not wanting to fight this feeling. It’s like peace has found me all at once.
Because in this moment, there is no one else. It’s just us.