39. Ivy Thompson
IVY THOMPSON
L ater that evening, I head downstairs to find my mother cooking dinner. I stand beside her while I peel a pot of potatoes.
“So, how have you been since being home?” she asks curiously.
I hum as I run my thumb across the skin with the peeler. “It was a challenge at first, but I’m alright now.”
“I heard about Ben, and his release is soon.” Her voice dips.
“Me too,” I whisper.
I haven’t thought about it for a few days, but when I do, realisation slams into me once again.
What if I see him?
What if he tries to contact me?
We live in the same town. Something is bound to happen.
“I’m sorry we weren’t here when you came back.” She steps closer to me, and I stare up at her dark blue eyes. “My baby.” She frowns before kissing my head. “I didn’t realise you’d be coming back for summer so soon. I wish we were here to welcome you home with warm hugs.”
The corners of my mouth tug. “Finn was here,” I say before turning back to my peeling. “And JJ. I’ve had Daisy, too, and even Isaac. It hasn’t been as lonely as I thought it would be.”
“I’m proud of you, Ivy,” she says, and my eyes build with pressure. “So proud. We both are.”
I drop the peeler into the pot. “Don’t make me cry.”
“Oh, baby.” She wraps her arms around me completely, then kisses me again. “We’re always here for you; you know that, right? If you ever need anything.”
“I know,” I sniffle into her shoulder. “I know, Mum.”
The front door opens, and my mother lets go of me. I peer over my shoulder to find Finn and JJ strolling inside. “Oh, right on time,” my mother calls out. “You guys can help with dinner.”
Finn groans, turns around, and walks back to the door, but JJ grabs him and pushes him in the direction of the kitchen. “Don’t be an ass,” JJ grumbles.
I blink at him and feel my face flush when he smiles in my direction. “Chop these for me, love?” she directs Finn as she points to a bunch of vegetables on the chopping board.
“Yes, Mum,” he sighs, although it sounds like he’d rather bash his head into a wall.
I’m still focusing on JJ as he walks behind me. His fingers delicately brush the backs of my bare thighs, and I tingle all over, goosebumps rising on my skin. My lips part, and he shoots me a wink.
My core clenches at the subtle action, but it affects my body in ways I can’t explain.
“JJ,” my mum says, and he snaps his eyes away from me instantly. “You can be in charge of the cooking.”
He nods once. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Please,” she laughs loudly. “Call me Andrea, don’t make me feel any older than I already am.”
JJ plants himself behind me and starts up the pan with a slab of butter. I feel his eyes flick down to my face as I continue peeling the potatoes.
As we prepare dinner and plate up, we sit around the table and eat. “So there is a fair at the beach on Saturday,” Finn comments as he stuffs his face full of food.
My mother rolls her eyes. “Close your mouth when you eat, Finn,” she huffs. “You’re not five, and we don’t want to see it.”
“I heard. You going?”
“Yeah, we’re going.” He uses his fork to gesture between himself and JJ. “Are you coming?”
I glance at my brother and then at JJ, who is staring at me hopefully. “Sure. Should be fun.”
“How lovely for you all,” my mum says gleefully. “So glad you’re all getting along.”
My face heats. Yeah, getting along really well with Finn’s best friend.
“Where’s Dad?” Finn asks.
“Out playing pickleball, he’ll be back later.”
Once we’re done with dinner, we clean up, and soon after, I head to bed. I’m exhausted after last night.
As soon as I’m in my bed and in my pyjamas, I scroll through my phone. It buzzes in my hand, and JJ’s name pops up at the top of the screen. My heart misses a beat when I click on the text instantly.
JJ:
Thinking of me?
Ivy:
Why, are you thinking of me?
JJ:
Always.
I shamelessly squeeze my legs together at that one word. Desperate for a bit of pressure because now all I can think of is the way I came around JJ over and over again.
Ivy:
Will I see you at the fair on Saturday?
JJ:
Yeah, I hope so.
I chew on my lip for a moment, my thumbs hovering over the screen. The fair will be a good time to tell him. It’s the closest opportunity I have to being alone with him this weekend. I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I want him to know.
A part of me believes he deserves to know. Especially if he decides he doesn’t want my extra baggage. I can’t trap him into this. He should know how fucked up I’ve been since.
Ivy:
Yeah. I want to tell you something. When we’re there.
JJ:
Okay… good or bad?
Ivy:
Neither? Meet me at the Ferris wheel, that way we won’t be distracted.
JJ:
Can we at least kiss at the top?
Ivy:
Depends.
JJ:
On what?
Ivy:
If what I say doesn’t scare you off.
JJ:
Don’t give me that bullshit, princess. Anything you tell me will not change how I feel about you.
Ivy:
You don’t even know what I’m going to say.
JJ:
No, but I know you and I’m not going anywhere. You’re worrying about nothing.
Ivy:
Maybe.
JJ:
So that kiss?
My heart pounds in my chest. If he sees past the messed-up parts of me, this might work out. Emphasis on the might. So I suck down some confidence and type out a response.
Ivy:
It’s yours.