49. Ivy Thompson
IVY THOMPSON
A pair of soft lips presses to the back of my shoulder as I stir from a dreamless sleep. I knew I would pass out after spending the night with JJ. I wanted to stay awake to savour the sensation of being in his arms, but he made me feel too relaxed, and I couldn’t fight my heavy eyes.
My heart has been empty for a long time. A great big gaping hole directly in the middle that I didn’t think would ever close again. But here I am being proved wrong, so damn wrong.
JJ kisses me again, but this time on the middle of my spine. I can’t stop the smile that forms on my face as he pulls me closer, our naked bodies tangling together. He brushes my hair away and places another kiss that makes me tingle.
I shut my eyes at how good his lips feel, how delicate a few pecks can make me feel absolutely everything.
“Mmm,” he whispers against my skin. “I want to wake up to you in my bed every day.”
“Me too.” I nod in agreement. “Good morning.”
“Morning, princess.” He nuzzles his head into my shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
I hum softly. “I think I’m okay,” I say quietly. My fingers run along his bare arm, the one that is wrapped around my waist. “I’m just glad that I’m with you. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
He squeezes me somewhat tighter without suffocating me. “I don’t want you anywhere else either,” he grumbles in that sleepy voice that still hasn’t gone away. “I love being with you.”
Heat spreads across my cheeks as I close my eyes, exhaling a breath of relief and contentment. “I love being with you, too.”
Our eyes meet when JJ turns me around. He cradles the side of my face as he flicks his gaze over every inch, taking in every freckle. “This summer has been one of the best.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he rasps. “I met you. My mother’s treatment is going well. I get to spend it in one of the most beautiful places. I hate that Finn isn’t doing well, it’s tough not having him here, but I’m glad he’s getting the help he needs.”
For some reason, a lump forms in my throat when I realise that summer will be over soon. We’ll have to go back to university for another year, and I don’t know how it’s going to work out.
JJ instantly realises something is wrong because his brows press down into a frown. “What?”
“We’ll be starting university soon,” I say under my breath.
“I know.”
I chew on my lip because I’m not sure if I can find the words right now.
“Talk to me, Ivy. What is it?” He swipes his thumb across my cheekbone gently.
“Is this like—” I pause, pressure building behind my eyes at the thought of the question. “Going to?—”
JJ lifts his head off the pillow. “End?”
My breathing catches in my throat. “Yeah.”
“Do you want it to end?”
“No,” I admit. “I love what we have going on, but I’m scared that when we go back, things will get complicated.”
He pulls me closer and our lips brush. “If you think you’re going to waltz into my life so you can waltz right back out, then you are deeply mistaken, princess. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
The tone he uses sends warmth through my body. “But what about?—”
“Shhhh.” He presses his thumb to my lips. “I don’t want the ifs and buts. I want you, Ivy, and we’re going to make this work. If you’re willing to make this work with me. I want you to be on board.”
“I am,” I whimper. “I am. But?—”
Before I can speak another word, he presses his lips to mine, shutting me up. “No,” he states, cupping the back of my head with his large hand. “No more talking. I said what I said.”
His lips close around mine, and I sigh into his mouth, pressing myself up against his chest. My head moves like waves in the sea. Kissing JJ is electrifying, and I can’t get enough, especially the way his tongue explores my mouth.
God, I’ll never get bored of this. It feels incredible. He feels incredible.
I pull back this time to look at him, pressing my hand to his shoulder. “What about Finn?”
JJ blinks rapidly. “What do you mean?”
“We need to think about when we’re going to tell him.”
“Do you think that’s the right idea, especially right now?”
I sigh. “Maybe not yet, but when he’s home and more stable.”
He keeps his eyes trained on me for a long moment. “Do you want me there?”
“Yes. I think it’ll be better if we’re both there. I should also tell my parents. Although I feel like they might already know from the night Finn went into hospital.”
He nods slowly. “Yeah, it needs to be done. I don’t want to have to sneak around anymore. Not touching you when we’re not alone has been fucking torture.”
The corners of my mouth tug upward. “That bad, huh?”
“Don’t act like you’re not the same.” He flashes me a knowing smirk.
I roll my eyes playfully. “I’ll catch you downstairs,” I say, leaning over to peck his pillowy lips.
“Sure, princess.” He cups my ass as I shuffle past him, giving it a light squeeze.
A squeal falls from the back of my throat. “Stop. Do you want my parents to hear us?”
“I like teasing you.”
I huff out a laugh. “Don’t I know it.”
Seeing Finn’s rehabilitation centre put my mind at ease.
It’s small but not overcrowded. I guess my parents paying for private care has its benefits, and I know they’d do anything to see their son get back on his feet again. No matter the cost.
After we sign in, the doctor takes us through the building before we walk out onto a patio with garden furniture. I glance around to find Finn sitting down with a mug in hand.
His eyes lock on us, and he stands up.
Mum and Dad surround him instantly, bringing him into a hug as I watch them shower him with love and affection.
Finn pulls away from them and glances at me, blinking in surprise.
“Ivy.” His breath hitches. “I didn’t think I’d see you.”
My mouth curls to the side. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
He sniffles. “I’m doing okay.”
“Yeah?” My mother beams.
Finn clears his throat as we sit down in the chairs. He picks up his mug and takes a slow sip. “I guess hearing other people’s stories and their determination to change their lives puts mine into perspective. It made me realise I was in a dark hole.”
My dad places his hand on his shoulder. “Are they good to you here?”
“Yeah,” he says. “They are. I’ve been seeing a therapist two to three times a week and doing group therapy as well. It’s been… weird. But I don’t want to keep ruining my life, I don’t want to ruin your lives either.”
“You could never, honey.” My mother leans over to kiss his temple. “We just want you to get better. That’s all. We want you to be happy.”
Finn’s eyes lower as he places the mug back down, and his elbows rest on his knees. “I think I’ve been really unhappy for a while. I was just… in denial about my addiction.”
“We’re so proud of you,” our mother says.
Finn laughs awkwardly. “It’s only been three weeks.”
“Three weeks are better than nothing, son,” my father pitches in. “Three weeks of progress.”
“It’s only a short-term program.” Finn shrugs.
“But you’ll be able to have all the resources when you come home,” I say, and he glances at me. “You now have three weeks of knowledge. That’s a lot.”
Finn nods once. “Yeah, I guess.”
We change the subject after the doctor told us not to focus too much on his treatment plan and to catch up on other things instead. We don’t stay for long as they have group activities planned for the afternoon, and none of us wants to disrupt his schedule.
My parents hug Finn goodbye, and when they walk around me, Finn stares back with glassy green eyes. “It was good to see you, Ivy.” He sighs despondently, his fingers twitching as if he wants to hug me.
“You too,” I whisper.
He tucks his fingers into his back pocket before I have the chance to turn around. “I’ve written you something.”
My brows crease as I glance at the folded piece of paper outstretched to me. “Why?”
“My therapist said that if I’m not good with my words, then I should write them down.
And we’re working together to fix the things I’ve broken.
You don’t have to read it, if you rip it up, then that’s fair enough.
” He swipes a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I can physically put together the words of how sorry I am for hurting you, because what I did is inexcusable.
But this is all I can do, and I hope you can take two minutes of your time to read it. Even if I don’t deserve it.”
A ball forms in my throat as I look at the letter again. I raise a hand to take it, and Finn releases a low breath of relief.
“Okay,” I say, despite my voice cracking.
Finn’s eyes wobble a little as we stare back at each other. “Can I hug you?” he chokes out as a tear rolls down his face. “Please, I just really need to hug my sister right now.”
My chest concaves at the vulnerability in his expression. I step forward and open my arms as he crashes his body into mine, burying his head into the crook of my neck as he sobs.
I squeeze my eyes shut, tears rolling down my cheeks. I hold onto him, my fingers fisting into the back of his shirt, his letter tightly between my fingers. He takes a shuddering breath, relaxing into me as we embrace each other.
After a few moments, we pull away, and I wipe my cheeks. “Uh.” I clear my throat. “JJ wanted me to tell you something.”
“Yeah?”
“JJ’s mum’s treatment is working, and it’s looking positive.”
Finn’s face lights up with excitement and relief all rolled into one. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” I sniffle through a smile.
“Oh my god.” He grins. “That’s fucking great.”
My arms fold over myself as I tuck the letter into the crook of my elbow. “He wanted to tell you when he came home, but he couldn’t wait.”
“I’m so happy for them.” His shoulders relax an inch. “Can you tell him that I can’t wait to see him? I owe him a lot.”
“Of course.”
My eyes settle on my brother’s as we stare at one another
“Can’t wait to see you home and better,” I confess.
Finn shoves his hands into his pockets. “Me, too.”
When we leave the complex, I follow my parents to their car, but freeze as they open the door. “Wait,” I call out to them, and they look back.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.”
My dad frowns. “What’s the matter?”
I suck in a breath, my eyes bouncing between the two. “Me and JJ are together.”
Neither of them says anything for a long moment until my father steps forward and presses his hands to my shoulders delicately. “Sweetheart,” he whispers. “We know.”
“Oh.” I pull my head back an inch. “You do?”
“You haven’t been so subtle over the last three weeks.” My mother smiles.
I remain quiet as I try to gather thoughts. “And you’re okay with it?”
“You’re both consenting adults,” she says simply. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
My shoulders raise. “Because of Finn, and everything before.”
“You’re capable of making your own decisions, honey.” She steps towards me. “Regardless of what happened in the past. We want you to be happy, too. But maybe just wait a little to tell Finn until he is home and settled.”
“I wasn’t going to ambush him with it,” I admit. “I know he needs time to adjust first. But I wanted you guys to know.”
“Well, thank you for telling us,” my father says. “And I hope he makes you happy.”
My cheeks heat, but I smile through it. “He does, Dad. So much.”
“Good.” He shoots me a wink. “Only the best for my girl. Come on. Let’s go grab some pizzas and head home.”
My mother nods, but there is clear reservation in her eyes. Not all of the family is here, and with Finn missing, it’s taking a toll on them.
“Yeah, sure.” She attempts a smile.
“We can have more pizza nights together when he’s home,” I comment. “Make up for the time he’s been away.”
“You’re right, honey.”
On the drive home, we grab pizza and sit around the table, with JJ by my side. Finn’s letter burns a hole in my pocket, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to read it yet.