52. JJ Woodford
JJ WOODFORD
I vy’s body lies on top of mine as I crack open my eyes. I smooth my hand down her back and then up again before cradling the nape of her neck. I peck her temple softly, careful not to wake her since she’s still fast asleep.
Even though I slept fairly well, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that’s happened. Ivy breaking down into a panic attack is something I never want to see, and trying to keep her calm and safe is my priority.
Ivy twists in my hold, and she releases a soft groan, nuzzling her face further into my neck. I kiss her again and keep my arms around her comfortably. “Good morning, beautiful.”
Another groan. “It’s so early.”
“It’s past ten,” I chuckle.
She cracks those green eyes open to me and then smiles. “I clearly needed the sleep.”
I hum in agreement. “Sure did, princess. How are you feeling?”
“Mmm,” she huffs and rolls onto her back beside me. My hand slides over her midriff. “Okay, I guess. Worried to see Finn, but I’m glad it’s all out in the open now.”
I shuffle forward and press my lips to her forehead. “I think it’s time you focus on what you want and how you feel, rather than everyone else.”
She pulls back slowly and flicks her gaze over my face. “Yeah.” Her lips twitch. “I think you’re right. I do. And it’s taken me a lot of courage to admit.”
I press my hand to her cheek and swipe my thumb across her silk-like skin. “Can I ask you something?”
Ivy nods. “Of course.”
“When was the last time you went to therapy?”
She blinks at my question and then stares at the wall. “I dunno, like a few months before I came back home.”
“Do you think you still need to go?”
“Why are you asking this?”
“Because I can see that you still carry so much guilt, shame, and insecurity. Your panic attack last night was scary, Ivy. I want to make sure you’re also getting the care and recovery you need,” I whisper, focusing on her eyes, but she’s not looking at me.
Ivy clears her throat and shoves her face further into the pillow. My heart pounds, thinking I’ve stepped over the line of her boundaries, but I have to admit when I’m worried about her. I want to know that she’s getting the help that she needs.
“Princess.” I move closer and let my fingers slide into the back of her hair. “I’m sorry. I just?—”
“No.” She swallows. “You’re right. This summer has been a blur of different emotions. I’ve been up and down constantly. But yeah, I think I still need guidance with how to help myself, slow my triggers. My anxieties are still there, and it would be wise to get help when I know I need it.”
Relief washes over my chest, and I can’t stop myself when I wrap my arms around Ivy’s body and tug her into my embrace. “I’ll support you every step of the way. You know that, right?”
She nods into my shoulder. “I know, JJ. I wouldn’t even need to ask for you to be there, I already know you will. It’s inevitable.”
“Completely inevitable.”
Ivy pulls her head away and peeks her eyes up at me. “I want you to shower with me.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “You do?”
“Please?”
I leap off the bed with her in my arms faster than I can blink.
After our shower, we head downstairs to make some pancakes for breakfast.
“What are you doing?” Ivy demands.
I stare at her, bewildered. “This is how you make pancakes.”
She snorts, but I find it stupidly adorable. “That is not how you make pancakes, are you serious?”
“Yeah, it is,” I dismiss her playfully as she walks towards my side. “If you don’t like how I do it, get out of the kitchen.”
Ivy pokes her head around my shoulder to get a better look. “Oh my god.” She presses a hand to her head. “This is going to be a disaster. You’ve added way too many eggs, it’s not an omelette.”
“Just trust me.” I scowl at her with a smile playing on my lips. “I know best.”
She rolls her eyes and bumps my hip. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Excuse me?”
Her arms fold over her chest, and fuck, she looks so damn cute when she’s pulling a face of determination. “Here, taste,” she says as she dips her fingers in the batter so quickly I barely see her move. The next thing I know, she’s smeared it across my mouth and chin. “Taste right to you?”
“Oh, you’re taking the piss,” I say with a chuckle.
I lean forward to grab her, and she moves fast, but I reach her in time. She releases a squeal of laughter when I begin tickling her ribs. “How dare you ruin my perfect breakfast.” I brush my lips all over her neck.
“Ugh!” she bellows with a laugh. “That’s disgusting.”
“Yeah, but you love me,” I say, and she snorts again.
“Debatable.”
My hands dig into her waist further. “What was that?”
“Nothing!” she yells with a breathless laugh, my own filling the air too. “I didn’t say anything.”
I grin at her. “Liar,” I say as we continue to playfight.
I glance up at the stairs to find Finn at the bottom of them, watching us. I didn’t even hear him or register his appearance until now. When I stop laughing, Ivy notices him too. Slowly and reluctantly, my arms move from around her waist.
“Hey,” I say to break the silence.
Finn merely nods before walking over to the counter. “Hey.”
Ivy stands there with her eyes down, her fingers entwined. “You good?” I ask Finn when no one says anything more.
“No,” he states, shaking his head, and finally, Ivy glances up. “I’m sorry for how I behaved yesterday. It was unacceptable. I replayed everything I said and I fucking hate myself for being such an asshole, Ivy.”
“It’s fine.”
Finn presses his hand to the counter as if he’s taking a stand.
“No.” His voice is harsh. “It’s not fine, Ivy.
I’m sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for.
But you guys have to realise that this is so new and alien to me.
I can learn to deal with your relationship, but it’s not going to be easy for me. ”
“We know, Finn,” I state. “You need time to process everything. We understand that.”
“Did you read the letter I wrote to you?”
Ivy darts her gaze to him and shakes her head.
“Not yet. I’ve been struggling to open it.
I’m still trying to figure out what’s left of our relationship,” she admits, and I couldn’t feel prouder of her for doing things at her own pace.
“You broke my trust, Finn, and that’s something I’ll need to take time to learn to deal with. ”
Finn remains silent for a long moment, and I resist the urge to sigh.
“I get it. It hurts, but I get it. I want you to be happy, and if it’s JJ who’s meant to be that person, then I can’t say anything after what I did to you.
I might not want it, but there isn’t anything I can do.
I’m not losing my best friend and my sister because you both love each other, that would be stupid. ”
The corners of my lips lift. I’ve never been prouder of Finn. I walk around the counter and pull him into a hug. “This won’t change anything, I promise.”
I pull away and watch as he walks towards Ivy with his arms out. She glances up at him and gives in, his arms wrapping around her protectively. “Seeing you happy makes me happy,” he whispers onto the top of her head. “I just wish you had better taste in guys.”
“Rude,” I call out, but they both laugh.
“I have great taste, actually,” she murmurs into his chest.
Finn relaxes and flashes a small smile. “Mm, that’s up for debate.”