Chapter 25
MADDIE
“So, good…” I moaned into the pillow and dropped face-first into it.
My hands were still bound behind my back, but Matt made quick work of undoing the cuffs. He turned me around and looked me deep in my eyes.
“Okay?” he asked as he rubbed my wrists. He was always so sweet by cradling me or kissing me after sex.
I nodded and pulled him down for a long kiss.
He shifted onto his back, and I crawled onto his chest, letting his big arms envelop me. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head, giving me the aftercare cuddles I needed. He was so good at taking care of my needs.
I pulled away after a few minutes to spread out across his bed. His futon bed wasn’t that comfortable, but it was better than us sharing my cramped twin bed.
“Where you think you’re going?” he asked.
“Baby, we can spread out!”
“I know, but I like cuddles.”
I grinned and slid back against his side. “Do you need more cuddles?”
“Yes…” he mumbled.
Matt could be so affectionate, but he rarely told me what he needed as aftercare. I felt bad because he always seemed to go with whatever I wanted. Although, since we started dating and exploring bondage, he came alive. We weren’t in a Dom/Sub relationship, but the alpha male came out in him in the bedroom. I loved that. That he could be so sweet and kind but domineering in the bedroom. Some guys thought being an ‘alpha’ meant being an asshole, but Matt was proof you could be a nice guy and still dominate your partner. If they wanted that, and I very much did.
I lay across his chest again and drew circles on it. He rubbed a hand down my arm and pulled the comforter up around us, encasing me in warmth.
See, so sweet.
“This was such a good idea,” I said into his chest.
“Mmmhmm.”
I knew what he really wanted to say. That we could do this all the time if we confided in Dinah and helped her get my brother on board. But I was scared. Once we told Noah, this would be real. Like really real, and then I wouldn’t be able to ignore the way my heart was yelling at me to tell Matt how I felt. Telling him I loved him after so little time dating would make him run away.
“What else do you want to do today?” he asked.
I looked up at him, and his naughty smile made me grin back. But yeah, I was not ready for another round. He had pulled out all of my pleasure, and I needed to recharge.
I frowned. “Actually, I need to study a bit.”
“Math?” he asked.
I nodded. I hated this stupid class. I passed a similar one in Canada, but Franklin was making me retake it for their credits. It was the class that was giving me a heavier load and stressing me out. I had lied to Dinah about my workload. Working for her, Fi, doing my book blogger stuff, hockey, and taking a full course load was a lot. But I’d sleep when I was dead.
“Can I help?” he offered.
“Nah. I need to study and do the work.”
“Well…I could review game tape while you do.”
I beamed. I loved sitting beside him while we did our own thing. I liked being with him, even when we weren’t talking. Sometimes, I think he reviewed tape and studied stats because he felt bad about occupying all my time. I wanted to spend every waking hour with him, so I was more than happy to sacrifice my sleep.
I disentangled myself from his limbs and got dressed. He did the same, throwing on a pair of grey sweatpants that made me reconsider putting my clothes back on. He gave me a stern look that told me to behave.
I put the leather cuffs back into my bag and pulled out my textbook and a notebook.
I lay on my stomach on the bed, opened the textbook, and wrote out problems in my notebook. Matt sat up against the wall with a pillow behind him, watching video on his tablet.
“Is this bothering you?” he asked about the noise.
“Nope.”
We worked quietly alone. Matt had his hand on my thigh as I did my math problems, and he watched game tape. I loved these quiet moments with him.
I studied for about an hour, and then I took photos for my social media. I was behind on reviews. I brought a couple of books over to take photos, so I took some shots with my fancy camera and then loaded them into my laptop to make edits.
At one point, I looked up and saw Matt giving me a dopey smile. “What?”
“It’s cute how passionate you are about your work.”
My face cracked from a too-big smile. “I love it. I figured if you gotta study game tape, I can get things done.”
“I was letting you do your thing. I’m ready for the game tomorrow.”
“That’s good. Can I tell you a secret?”
“What’s that?”
“Dinah brought up me starting my own PR firm…for books. I don’t hate the idea.”
He gave me a supportive smile. “You’d be great at it.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek, my worries swirling around inside my head. “I’m swamped this semester, but next semester, I want to start offering PA services to authors. Now that I have two clients, it could be big for me.”
He reached out and squeezed my hand. “You’re so organized and passionate about books. It would be great.”
“You really think so?”
He nodded. “You can do anything you set your mind to. I know so.”
My heart did a little dance that he was confident in my abilities. When Dinah brought that up, I waved her off, but something had been nagging me about it. I could start that process. Or at least take more clients independently and then start the business once I had a solid list.
I turned back to my computer and finished scheduling posts. I still needed to finish a readthrough for Dinah, but I’d do it when Matt was on the road this week.
I turned off my computer and put it away so I could pay attention to him. I was going to ask him if he wanted to watch a movie before I had to go home when I heard a car pull into the garage. Anxiety coursed through my body at the sound of footsteps climbing the steps to the main level.
“What’s that?” I whispered.
His face had gone white as we heard voices talking upstairs in the kitchen above us.
Oh no.
Oh fucking no.
Dinah and Noah were back already.
“They weren’t supposed to be home yet,” I hissed in a low whisper.
The terror was marked across Matt’s face, and my anxiety rose. I wasn’t supposed to be here. This was not how my brother was going to find out I was dating his teammate.
“I’m not sure why they’re back,” Matt said, but he frowned when he saw the look of horror on my face. “Hey, C’mere.”
I jumped off the bed and looked around for an escape. There was a separate door down here that led to the garage, so I could slip out without going upstairs. But would they notice? Or would Dinah and Noah assume Matt had gone out? Worse came to worse, I could hide out behind the closed bedroom door while Matt awkwardly talked to them upstairs.
“Sweet pea,” Matt whispered.
“Matt…”
I didn’t know what to say. Noah would put two-and-two together as soon as he saw me down here. After watching him annihilate Jaime on the ice, I had one clue how he’d react with Matt. Poorly. Very Poorly was my guess. I should have never taken Matt up on his offer to chill here tonight. This was such a mistake.
Before he could calm me down, I jumped at the sound of loud knocking on the closed door that led into the basement. Matt got up and left the bedroom, going out into the media room.
“Yeah?” I heard him ask.
“Hey, we have leftovers from my brother if you want any,” Dinah’s voice shouted down to him.
It seemed like she respected his privacy, so it wasn’t like she was going to burst in down here and catch us in the act, but I felt frozen in my spot. This was too much. I was not ready for the fallout. This was why we always hung out on campus. How had I been so stupid?
“Thanks, D. I’ll come up later if I’m hungry,” he called back to her.
“Okay,” she yelled back, and then I heard her footsteps walk away.
I found my coat in Matt’s closet and shoved it on, rushing to button it up. I needed to get out of here. I put my backpack over my shoulders.
Matt came back to the room, and he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “We should tell them.”
I vigorously shook my head from side to side, the panic rising like bile in my throat. “This is a terrible way to tell them.”
“It won’t be bad. I promise.”
He was wrong. I thought my brother would actually murder him.
“I have to go,” I said. I didn’t even let him kiss me goodbye, just ran out of there as fast as I could.
The hockey gods must have been on my side because I didn’t run into Dinah or my brother on my way out. My heart pounded loudly in my chest as I walked to the subway and made my way back to campus.
Matt called me, but I sent it to voicemail. I knew we were going to have a big, knockdown fight about this, but I wasn’t ready for that yet either. I wanted more time to figure out my feelings for him. I didn’t know if he felt the same way yet, and the fear of my brother losing it was too much for me to deal with on top of that.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready for this.