Chapter 30 The L Word
The L Word
Despite not getting back to campus until after midnight, I was dressed, made-up, and waiting outside of Richmond’s office at ten to seven when he arrived.
“You’re sure?” he asked when I slid my unsigned offer letter across his wide desk.
“One hundred percent,” I confirmed.
He picked up the paper and sighed while he regarded it. Then, he set it back down and returned his gaze to me.
“You are a talented educator and an exceptional young person. Few have the courage to do what you did. I’m genuinely sorry to see you leave.”
My lips tipped into a bittersweet smile. “It’s been an honor and a pleasure to work here,” I said. “I hope this isn’t goodbye. I would love to come back…”
The older man returned a kind smile and nodded. “And Newbury would love to have you.”
I stood and extended my hand to him across the desk.
Before he could kiss my knuckles, I shook with a firm pump.
Then, I walked out of his office with my back straight.
As I exited the building, I heard him ask TJ to schedule a meeting with Jack as soon as possible.
My heart warmed me against the December chill.
My classes passed in a microsecond, and then I was done for the day. I considered following the herd of students and teachers to the cafeteria for lunch. But my quiet apartment called to me, and my feet turned in that direction.
Ashley was going to be disappointed when I told her what I did, and I didn’t much feel like having any more serious conversations for the rest of the day.
Talking, laughing, and the drumming of hundreds of feet faded away as I meandered back to Brookside.
The paths had been cleared of snow, but white coated the skeletal trees and the ground beneath them, shimmering like cut glass in the sunlight.
I savored the beauty while I could, knowing that my days were officially numbered.
Though, I had been expecting to leave, even planning for it over the last few weeks since it became apparent that Jack deserved to stay.
I had a little network of former classmates and coworkers from my internship.
I started putting out feelers for a new job, and I had a couple of strings to pull.
None of the prospective roles paid as well as Newbury—and none included housing or meals—but I was confident that I could manage.
I had no student loans—no debt of any kind—a privilege that I was grateful for even if I still resented my parents’ entitlement.
A hand grabbed my shoulder, ripping me from my thoughts.
I yelped and turned to see who had touched me, and my breath caught in my chest.
It was Jack.
He stood on the path, cheeks flushed and eyes blown wide. His chest rose and fell in quick succession under his heavy wool coat, and his chestnut hair curled loosely around his face.
“Melanie,” he said. His voice was hoarse, but my name on his lips was like music.
I was torn between running into his arms and running away. Neither seemed like a particularly good idea.
“Jack,” I whispered as my heart clenched.
“Can we talk for a minute?”
My mouth went dry. I wasn’t ready for this. Had Richmond offered Jack the job already? Was Jack still mad at me? He probably wouldn’t chase me down to start an argument—not after ghosting me or brushing me off every time I tried to start a conversation. But then again, what did I know?
“You want to talk now?” I asked.
“Walk with me,” he insisted.
He placed a gentle hand on my elbow, and I let him guide me onto the familiar trail that looped around Cedar Lake.
This was the closest we had been in a week.
But rather than easing the ache, the proximity hurt my heart ten times worse.
A gust of wind swirled around us, and I pulled my coat tighter around myself.
I crossed my arms over my chest to keep from reaching for his hand.
“It’s cold out here, Jack. What do you want?”
“I want to know why.” There was a tremor in his voice.
I kept my eyes straight ahead. Of course, that was what he wanted. He was a scientist. At the core of his soul, there lived an innate need to always know the why. The last part of me that hoped he would forgive me crumbled into the crushed limestone under our feet.
“I had to,” I said. “I couldn’t stay. Not like that.”
He grunted. “Not like what?” he asked.
I huffed an irritated breath and stopped walking. Realizing I was no longer beside him, he turned back to face me.
“What else do you want me to say?” I opened my arms wide and then let them drop to my sides.
“I should have known I couldn’t do this on my own.
That my dad would find a way to take control.
It’s what he does; he can’t help it. Ducks quack; Matthew Burke manipulates.
I was furious when I found out. I was so stupid to think I could do this on my own. I should have known…”
My eyes itched. Not more tears. Not again. Not now.
The muscles in Jack’s jaw clenched and unclenched. “You didn’t know? You didn’t ask them to get involved?”
My head dropped back, and I let out a bark of humorless laughter. “Of course not! I mean, I wanted this job. But I wanted to do it on my own. What Dad did—to me, to you—it was fucked. So, I fixed it.”
“What did you do?”
“You know what I did.” A hot tear rolled down my cheek.
“I want to hear you say it.”
I paused. Heavy breaths escaped my lips in misty white clouds. My gaze was locked on Jack’s when I spoke.
“Richmond never would have hired me if it hadn’t been for the money. So, I told him I wouldn’t do it. I quit. I’m done.”
Jack studied me for a moment that felt like an eternity. I could see the gears in his mind turning as he processed what I said and reconciled the new information with what he thought he knew.
He must know that I decided to walk away from Newbury for him as much as for me. I wanted him to be happy. He was good and kind and didn’t deserve to be used the way he had. He had come here in good faith, not knowing that the equation changed when I threw my hat in the ring.
“Nobody’s ever had any expectations for me. People only care about the money or the name.” Another damn tear rolled down my cheek. “I thought I had done this on my own, you know? That Richmond just wanted me. I was so stupid.”
He took a step toward me. “It’s not stupid to be wanted for being you.”
“Nobody wants me.”
“I want you.” The words slipped out in a whisper, so soft that I might not have heard them if we hadn’t been standing so close.
My breath caught on a soft gasp. “I thought you hated me.”
He shook his head and took another step toward me. We weren’t touching, but he was close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from him.
“I made a mistake,” he began. “Everything had been going so well. I’ve been in love with you forever. And being with you, here at Newbury—it was better than anything I ever dreamed. I should have never believed you would betray me. What you did—no one has ever done anything like that for me.”
I swallowed the lump that lodged itself in my throat at his words.
“Say it again,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” he said, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “And thank you.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “The part where you said you loved me.”
His brow relaxed, and his lips curved into that perfect smile that was just a little crooked. He placed his hands on my upper arms, and I couldn’t help but lean into him, my head tilted back so I could hold his gaze.
“I love you,” he said.
My face split into the widest smile. I laughed and sniffed, and another stupid tear rolled down my cheek.
“I love you too,” I said.
He lowered his face as I pressed up on my toes, and our lips met in a soft kiss. Our arms snaked around each other, pulling our bodies and mouths firmly together. Joy and relief and hope exploded through my body and into the kiss.
Jack didn’t hate me. I hadn’t even dared hope that he might love me too. My heart soared and sang. Every iota of tension melted away until I was floating like a feather in a vacuum chamber.
We slowly broke the kiss and stared into each other’s eyes. I hadn’t realized how much I missed his beautiful, chocolate eyes until right this moment.
He raised a hand to cup my cheek and brushed away a tear.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Please don’t cry.”
I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt, and laughed when the tears continued to come.
“Sorry about that,” I said. “I never used to cry, and now I can’t seem to stop leaking. I must look gruesome.”
“You’re beautiful,” he replied.
I was seriously in danger of combusting from an overload of happiness.
“Well,” I said. “Now what do we do?”
Grinning, he shook his head. “I have no idea. I just know I want to be with you.”
“So, we’re doing this? Giving us a real shot, even with me leaving?”
Jack’s face turned serious, and I wilted in his arms. “I’m sure if we combine our considerable brain power, we can figure out anything.”
My smile returned in an instant. He was right. We would figure this out. There was plenty of uncertainty in my immediate future, but I had zero doubt that Jack would be a part of it.
“Kiss her, Mr. C!” a voice called.
As one, we turned and looked down the path, finding half a dozen students watching us with intense interest.
“Yeah! Kiss her!” another student called, bouncing on her toes.
I was grinning when Jack turned back to me. “Kiss me, Mr. C.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips while grinning like he’d just won first place at the science fair.
A cheer rose from our onlookers. Schrodinger’s cat was out of the box. Every student and faculty member would know within the hour that Jack and I had been seen together. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them had been discreetly filming us.
I didn’t care.
Jack loved me, and I loved him. And that was the only thing that mattered—would ever matter.
Jack glanced over my shoulder at the onlooking students and then back to me. “Um… do you want to get out of the limelight?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Though, I think the damage is done. There won’t be any more hiding after this.”