32. Olivia
32
OLIVIA
I stumbled into my borrowed apartment because I was blinded by tears. Shutting the door, I sagged against it, feeling as if I’d been drained of my strength. Who knew being swamped by so many emotions could leave one so exhausted?
Still, despite my exhaustion, my heart had more than enough energy to hammer against my rib cage. Had I made a huge mistake by ending things so abruptly with Alex? Sure, we weren’t a couple, but we’d been… friends since we started working together. The urge to run back to his apartment and apologize seized me.
I ached to explain to him that I wasn’t “the bitch” who discarded him. Having him continue with that narrative for even another minute was killing me. However, logic held me rooted to the spot. I didn’t fling the door open and run back to Alex to grovel and tell him the truth. His anger was evident, and I was remorseful, but what I did was for the best.
Maybe I was being selfish for not telling him about the baby, but I panicked, just as I had when he kissed my stomach earlier. Logically, I knew it was impossible for him to see my pregnancy at this early stage, but I freaked out anyway.
The way he made love to me had me so disturbed. It all felt too intimate… too real, and too much like the past when there was mutual love between us. I couldn’t afford to get sucked into that fantasy. At this point, I’d probably never survive a broken heart. Therefore, it was best to pull away completely and keep the baby a secret for now.
Besides, I was terrified of telling him only to have him reject me. I’d never survive that humiliation. Just thinking about it triggered my morning sickness, which shouldn’t be called that since it attacked at all hours of the day. I peeled myself off the door and sprinted to the bathroom to throw up my misery.
“Livy, please, just answer the phone,” Elena pleaded as she looked up from her computer for the umpteenth time.
I felt guilty about the many interruptions, so I grabbed my cell off the coffee table. “I’m sorry. I’ll put it on mute.”
My friend glowered at me. “I didn’t say put it on mute. I said answer it. I’m sure if you do, and just talk to him, he’ll stop burning up the line.”
Rolling my eyes, I put the phone on mute and stared at the device as the screen flashed with Alex’s name.
Elena shook her head and made a humming noise to which I scoffed and responded, “Stop judging me.”
Wide eyes flickered back to me. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“I know the tone of your mhmms and what they mean,” I reasoned. “That was a judgmental mhmm . ”
Elena threw her head back and cackled. “You know, you’re even funnier pregnant.”
I gave her a dirty look and went back to staring at my phone. Alex had reached out to me several times in the last week. He even tried my office a few times, but I had my assistant take messages. All he ever said was that he wanted to talk, but I didn’t want to talk…
As if reading my mind, Elena asked, “Why won’t you talk to him?”
My heart stuttered. “Because he could be calling to tell me that he’s one step away from owning BioTech.”
“Or he could be calling to discuss a number of other things like Don Weaver and the unborn child you two share…”
Guilt wracked me as I gazed at Elena, who had been my savior. I’d been staying with her since I fled Manhattan to get away from Alex because being alone in my apartment would drive me crazy. My friend’s company and comfort had been the only things keeping me from going off the deep end. And I lied to her… She thought I told Alex about the baby, and I didn’t correct her. It was too embarrassing to admit that a grown woman was afraid to tell the man she’d been sleeping with for months that she was carrying his child.
“It’s not about Weaver,” I muttered. “He sent me an email with an update yesterday.”
Interest sparked in Elena’s eyes. She’d practically been salivating to write the expose Alex and I promised her she’d get to do. “And?”
“And his FBI friend is making progress. They’re solidifying enough evidence to bring Weaver down for good. Then you can work your magic and give the information to the people.”
Elena rubbed her hands together with glee. “I can’t wait. Now, back to Alex. If he has an FBI friend, that confirms that the White Knight really does work for the government.”
“It proves nothing. He’s an affluent man. I’m sure he has plenty of friends in high places.” I really didn’t want to prolong our chat about Alex. Thinking about him in any context hurt too much.
“Maybe…” Elena studied me intently. “When are you going to talk to him?”
I sighed. “When I’m ready. Can we drop it?”
She narrowed her gaze on me and then muttered, “I know it isn't pregnancy that has turned you into a big wuss, so what are you really afraid of?”
I scoffed and stared at her in disbelief. Then again, what was so hard to believe? Elena was one of the few people I could count on to be honest with me.
So I reluctantly admitted, “I’m hanging on by an emotional thread, Elena. If I talk to him… if I even get a glimpse of him right now, I’ll likely fall apart.”
Maybe she wouldn't understand because she didn’t know the finer details about our history and our breakup. Alex didn’t even know all the details. I just couldn’t deal with all the guilt and regret right now. Not when I was living in fear of Alex—ironically, the man I loved—destroying my entire life…
Who knew what progress he was making to snatch my livelihood and family legacy from me? We hadn’t been in contact, so it was hard to figure out his next move. My guess was that he was coming after me with renewed vengeance.
“Alright,” Elena said, holding up both palms. “I get it. No more pushing.”
I gave her a grateful look as I rested a hand on my stomach.
“Ms. Brentwood, it’s Mr. Knight again,” my assistant said with a slight air of confusion.
Phone pressed to my ear, I dropped my head into my hand. Of course, she was confused about me dodging Alex’s calls for over a week. He was persistent. Taking a deep breath, I decided to hear what he had to say. No doubt he was calling to throw threats at me about owning BioTech soon. However, I wouldn’t let him intimidate me. I was the mighty CEO of the Brentwood Empire… even though it was on the verge of crumbling.
“Send him through,” I told my assistant.
As I waited for the call to connect, my stomach churned. I eyed the ajar door of my office bathroom, hoping that I didn’t lose my lunch… what little I had managed to get down anyway.
When the familiar baritone caressed my eardrum with a drawled “Liv”, I felt a jolt of nerves, but I also felt butterfly wings in my stomach. Alex’s voice always had that effect on me.
“Alex…” My eyebrows pinched together as I thought about his greeting. He didn’t call me Ms. Brentwood or even Olivia, but the more intimate version of my name. He didn’t sound cold or angry either…
“It’s about time you answered one of my calls,” he said in a surprisingly even tone.
My face burned with shame even though he couldn’t see me. I admit, it was immature of me, but who had time to be mature when she was living every minute in fear of a vengeful ex? Although he didn’t sound all that vengeful at the moment…
“I’ve been busy,” I replied lamely.
“Right.”
His skeptical drawl irked me, and I jumped into defensive mode. “What do you want, Alex? You’ve already updated me about Weaver. If this is about BioTech?— ”
“It’s not,” he said firmly. “And while there are other things we need to discuss…”
I clutched my stomach. Hell yes, there were other things. A major thing, but it didn’t have to be now.
“This isn’t about any of that,” he continued.
Apprehension brought out the Ice Princess and my suspicion. I bet he was being so calm and somewhat nice to get me to lower my defenses before he launched his final attack.
“Stop being cryptic,” I said coldly. “What’s this about? I have a busy day, Alex.”
There was a long pause and then he blew out a heavy breath. “So, this is how it’s going to be between us?”
Bewildered, I flopped back in my chair. There was an us ? He hated me. When I said we both hated each other the other night, I threw it out there to hear his response. He didn’t deny it and that had broken my heart. “I… don’t…”
“I’m calling about your brother,” he said in a tone that matched my earlier frigid one. “If you had answered my call yesterday, you’d have known that he ran away again.”
My heart stuttered, and I sat taller. How come I didn’t get a call when it happened? Mom must not have heard because she would have called me in a panic. “What…? How do you know?”
“I know everything that happens around here, Liv,” he declared.
Why did he sound like that evil genius running the city behind his computer that Elena and I joked about?
Before my imagination ran away with that thought, he said, “When I found Liam the last time, we reconnected. He requested that I be called when he either went off the deep end or ran away. He’ll be pissed at me for this, but I thought you and your mother should know where he is.”
“He’s talking to you ?” Unbelievable! Alex came back into his life after all these years and my brother trusted him more than me. Hurt coursed through my veins.
“Uh-huh, and I made sure he isn’t holed up in another dangerous dump.”
I listened numbly as Alex rattled off an address that turned out to be one of his properties. “Why are you still helping me, Alex? I mean… my family.”
He sighed. “I’ll tell you when you decide to grow up and talk to me in person.”
I scoffed. Alex Knight was telling me to grow up. The irony. He was the most impulsive and insanely… wonderful man I knew. He still jumped in to help my family even after that shit show between us last week. I melted like wax under a hot candle and lost my head for a moment.
“Alex, I’m…”
I stopped as a troubling thought struck. What if I told him about the baby and he accused me of getting pregnant so he would go easy on me and not take BioTech? I’d be mortified if he even thought that. There was a significant chance that he would be suspicious. I was adamant that it was safe for us to have unprotected sex, after all, and now…
“You’re what?” he asked.
“Er… thanks for looking out for Liam,” I said and then slammed the phone down into its cradle. I stared at the office phone with horror. Crap! I just hung up on him. Now he’d really think I was a bitch. Groaning, I rubbed my forehead to ward off an impending headache.