24. Onward and Upward
24
ONWARD AND UPWARD
L ux
“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, Lux.” Jasmine told me as we drove to her parents’ house. “That couldn’t have been easy, but you did it—you stood up for yourself. You set boundaries.”
“Yeah, I know,” I wiped the moisture from my cheeks.
The moment I slid into the passenger seat of Jasmine’s car, I started sobbing. She hugged me tightly for a moment, then released me to put her car in reverse and get me the heck out of there.
“Are you sure it’s okay with your parents that I’m there?”
“Absolutely. You know you’re always welcome there,” Jasmine assured me. “We’ll head back to Sudbury Sunday morning, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah that’s fine, if you’re sure your family doesn’t mind me crashing Camellia’s birthday dinner.”
“They won’t mind. Camellia knows what Brinley’s been up to, and she’s already filled our mom in on it. Did you know Camellia finally ditched her? Camellia was so disgusted with what Brinley did to you, and how she’s been acting since. They’re no longer friends.”
A wave of guilt rose in me. “Now I feel bad, they’ve been friends forever—”
But Jasmine cut me off by shooting me a look. “I’m going to stop you right there. Camellia hasn’t agreed with a lot of Brinley’s behaviour over the years, this was her decision because their morals clearly don’t align.”
“Brinley will blame me for it, though.” I sighed.
“Who cares? Brinley blames you for everything. This is why you set boundaries, remember?”
“I know, you’re right.” I sighed. “I can’t believe my mom tried to sweep this under the rug, too.”
“I’m honestly not surprised. Your mom has always tried to live up to this perfect image of what a family should be, and it’s always been at your expense. Brinley’s too, in a way, not that I’m excusing any of her behaviours, but. Yeah. And your dad, how did he take it?”
“He’s confused. None of us really told him what happened. He knew something was going on and tried to get us to tell him, but Mom said we were just having difficulties ‘adjusting to living together again’ and I…imploded. I didn’t have it in me to tell him exactly what happened, I needed to get out of there.”
“You never implode. I’m sure he’ll get the truth out of your mom soon.”
“Not sure that’ll change anything, though,” I sighed again, glancing out the window. We were in the subdivision Jasmine’s parents lived in, less than a minute away from their house.
“It might. Your dad’s not a bad person, he’s consumed by work and has missed a lot of what’s gone on under his roof.” Jasmine was completely right about that, too. My best friend had the insight of knowing my whole family for years.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right about that, too,” I took a deep breath, trying to collect myself as Jasmine pulled into her parents’ driveway. The Kade’s lived in a beautiful six-bedroom custom-built estate home nestled on a 6.2-acre ravine lot.
I grabbed my overnight bag and my laptop bag, leaving the rest of my things in Jasmine’s car.
She led the way inside, pushing open the front door to the grand entrance. We toed off our shoes, tucking them into the front hall closet before peeking into the magnificent great room with twenty-one-foot ceilings where Jasmine’s parents were currently sitting, enjoying glasses of brandy in front of the gas fireplace.
“We’re back,” Jasmine said.
“Lux! It’s so wonderful to see you,” Mrs. Kade said, rising from her seat and setting her brandy glass down before sauntering over to give me a welcoming hug. “You’re looking radiant, dear.”
“Thank you,” I told her, knowing she was being generous. I looked like I’d been sobbing—because I had. “It’s good to see you again too. Thank you for letting me stay here this weekend.”
“It’s our absolute pleasure!” Mrs. Kade insisted with a sparkling smile.
Iris Kade was a lot like my mother—very put together and beautiful, always dressed to the nines. But despite how formal she was, maternal warmth poured from her very essence.
“You’re welcome here any time, Lux. I hope you know that,” Mr. Kade said from his chair by the fire.
“We would put you up in the guest room, but Jonathan’s parents are coming out for Camellia’s birthday dinner tomorrow.”
“That’s alright, she can bunk with me in my room,” Jasmine interjected. “We’re going to go get settled. Night Mom, night Dad!”
“Good night,” I murmured before following Jasmine up the stairs to the second storey, where the bedrooms were.
I’d always loved everything about this house, from the crown moulding and waffle ceilings to the bespoke cabinetry in the library, kitchens, and even the walk-in closets. Yes, Jasmine’s house had a library , and it was my favourite room in their entire house.
“It’s going to be a little crazy tomorrow, what with the birthday dinner, pretty much all our relatives are coming out and some of Dad’s friends and work colleagues,” Jasmine warned me, speaking over her shoulder. “But you’re used to Kade craziness,” she added with a grin.
Two doors opened, almost in sync with one another, revealing the similar faces of Jasmine’s two youngest sisters, Azalea and Violet. They were still in high school. Azalea would be going into grade eleven in the fall, and Violet would be entering grade ten.
“Lux! We haven’t seen you in forever!” Azalea exclaimed, tackling me with a hug. Violet wrapped her arms around me too, both girls so familiar with me from the amount of time I’d spent with Jasmine over the years, that they treated me like a part of their family.
“Hey girls, how has your summer been so far?”
“Good!” Violet exclaimed. “I had an epic pool party for my birthday. It was so great that people are still talking about it!”
“And I just got back from sleep away camp. Officially finished with my required volunteer hours!” Azalea grinned.
“I thought you finished those a while ago?” Jasmine teased.
“I did. But I wanted more! I now have two thousand and four hundred volunteer hours on my record. That’s more than you!”
“You beat me by double,” Jasmine chuckled, smiling warmly at her younger sisters. “That’ll look great on your university applications.”
Azalea seemed to glow from Jasmine’s praise. Each of Jasmine’s sisters had always looked up to her, and it was so sweet to see. It reminded me of a simpler time before Brinley decided I was her nemesis.
When we were little, we got along. Mostly because I’d go out of my way to make sure Brinley got her way, but still. There was a time when she didn’t look at me with seething resentment and hatred; a time when she didn’t plot to hurt me.
“Azalea has a boyfriend now, too,” Violet reported, earning a glare from Azalea.
“I do not!”
“Then why does that boy keep calling you?” Violet retorted with a sneaky grin.
“Stop spying on me!” Azalea snapped, irritation making her cheeks flushed. “He’s not my boyfriend, he’s a guy I met at camp. We like talking.”
“Oooh, where is he from?” Jasmine pressed, getting in on the razzing.
“North Bay,” Azalea answered, her cheeks heating. “But he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Mmhmm,” Jasmine said, sounding like she didn’t really believe that.
Azalea let out a growl and stomped back to her room, slamming the door.
“It’s not nice to spy on your sisters, Vi,” Jasmine lectured, though her smile said she wasn’t mad.
“I know, but I’m so bored, it’s hard not to! Azalea hardly ever hangs out with me anymore,” Violet sighed.
“Well, you’re both growing up. Azalea’s going to feel the age difference a little more right now, and that’s okay. Distract yourself with your friends. Plan another epic end of summer pool party.”
“Ooh! Yes! Good idea,” Violet grinned.
“You do that. Lux and I are going to go to my room and hang out.”
“Can I come?” Violet asked, her eyes hopeful and wide.
“No, we’ve got important adult things to discuss,” Jasmine ruffled her littlest sister’s hair, and Violet darted out from under her hand with a scowl.
I felt a little guilty for sending her off, but my heart still felt raw from everything happening with my sister. Seeing their easy bond stung like rubbing salt in the wound, because I didn’t have that easy bond with Brinley and likely never would.
“Is Camellia here?” I asked as we made our way into Jasmine’s bedroom.
“Not yet, she’s still in Ottawa. She’s doing a summer internship at the House of Commons, but she took a few days off for her birthday. She’ll be arriving tomorrow morning,” Jasmine answered, walking into her room. She waited until I entered to close the door. Camellia attended Carleton University in Ottawa, where she was taking Communication and Media Studies.
I set my overnight bag down, taking in Jasmine’s room. It hadn’t changed since high school—the same photos still decorated her mirror, mostly of us. Her queen-size bed still had the same soft lavender bedspread.
“Have you talked to Theo yet?” Jasmine asked, sitting down on her bed.
“I told him I got here safely…but no, I haven’t filled him in on everything that happened in the short eight hours I’ve been back.” In fact, I hadn’t really talked to him at all, aside from answering his text message so that he wouldn’t worry.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to bombard him with all the drama,” I sighed, sitting beside her. “You’re not supposed to go into a new relationship with a heaping pile of baggage, and I feel like I’m doing that.”
Jasmine nodded thoughtfully, mulling over my words. “Well, Theo’s not one to shy away from baggage. He can handle more than you think.”
“He shouldn’t have to,” I flopped backwards so that I was laying down, staring at her ceiling. “I’ll figure it out.”
Jasmine laid back too, turning her head to look at me. “You don’t have to figure things out alone, though. You have me.”
I turned to look at her too and smiled. “I know, and I’m so grateful for you. Thanks for always being there.”
Theo
An uneasiness had settled over me when I hadn’t heard from Lux in several hours. I tried to distract myself, knowing how ridiculous it was to be missing her so profusely after a mere eight hours.
But she hadn’t messaged me right away when she got back to Guelph. I’d texted to check in, and she didn’t reply until after dinner, saying that she’d arrived safely. Nothing more, nothing less, and after that it was radio silence.
I felt that silence in my soul.
“Snap out of it, Theo,” Talia demanded, drawing my attention back to her. We were hanging out on the back deck, playing Rummy. She was winning because I was so distracted.
Talia and I usually hung out and played card games when we were the only ones around. Normally, I was focused enough to hold my own. Tonight, though, my mind kept wandering back to Lux, wondering how things were going back home. Had she told her family she was moving yet? Was her sister giving her trouble?
“Sorry,” I dropped my cards, gave up, and rubbed my head, trying to ease the tension headache.
“Wow, Lux really does have a spell over you,” Talia’s brow arched, and she set her own cards down, revealing another winning hand. “I’ve never seen you like this before. Usually, you’re unflappable.”
It was true, I’d never felt this way before. Like a part of me was missing, and I knew exactly where it was, but it was too far away for comfort. Instead, I felt unsettled.
“Yeah, well. There’s a first for everything I guess.”
“You must really be into her,” Talia tilted her head, appraising me.
“I am,” I admitted. “I wasn’t expecting to fall so hard and so suddenly for her, but it happened. A few years ago, I would have run from those feelings. I wouldn’t have been ready or mature enough to handle the importance of them. But now, I feel ready for them, and I’m worried she’s not.”
“Are you forgetting the mess she left at home? She’s probably busy dealing with sister drama. You are in a place for this, she might not be yet—and you’ve got to accept that. Either way, you won’t know until you talk to her.”
“You’re right, I know,” I sighed.
“If I’m right, why are you still moping?” Talia demanded.
“I have an uneasy feeling. I don’t know,” I ran my hand over my face, trying to wipe away the troubled feeling.
“Call her.”
“I don’t want to bother her.”
“Then text,” Talia countered, lifting her beer for a sip. She paused before taking a drink, eyeing me with a challenge. “Don’t be a chicken shit, Theo. You’re going to feel all mopey and distracted until you talk to her, so talk to her.”
“I’ll call her later…” I said, watching while Talia finished her beer.
“Call her now, I’m going to go to bed. I’ve got an early day tomorrow; Eliza and I are going hiking.” Talia stood up, saluting me before she headed inside with her empty bottles.
The sliding door closed behind her, leaving me alone with only the sounds of crickets chirping and the occasional car driving by.
It wasn’t that I was worried she’d changed her mind about us—we’d parted on a pretty good note, with a kiss that I knew rocked Lux to her core as much as it had rocked me. But I knew the mental landmine she was walking into by returning home to that situation with her sister, and her short answer and radio silence wasn’t a good sign.
Not that I knew how she communicated via text, since we hadn’t done much of that in the past week, but I had a hunch.
Huffing in aggravation, pulling my phone out of my pocket. Talia was right, I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it until I talked to her. I clicked her contact information, listening as the phone rang.
Lux picked up after a couple of rings. “Hello?”
“Hey,” I said, feeling nervous. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything…”
“Oh, no. You’re good. Jasmine and I were talking,” Lux replied.
“Hi, Theo!” Jasmine’s voice was muffled, like she was nearby but not speaking directly into the speaker.
“Oh, you’re with Jasmine?” This news made me relax marginally, because I knew that Jasmine would make sure she was okay.
“Yeah…things at home didn’t go so great. So…I’m staying the rest of the weekend with Jasmine at her parents, then I guess I’m heading back to Sudbury a few weeks earlier than anticipated. Surprise?” Lux didn’t sound so enthused about the situation, not that I blamed her. If it was bad enough to merit leaving after not even being home for a full day, it was pretty bad.
Still, I couldn’t help the excitement I felt over having her come back sooner. I was dreading waiting until the end of the month to see her again. If she came back with Jasmine on Sunday, I’d get to see her again before I travelled to Peru.
“Hey, you know you’re welcome here whenever,” I assured her.
“I know,” Lux said quietly. “Thank you.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“When we get back. I want to not think about it for a bit,” she admitted.
“I understand. Whenever you want to talk about it, I’m here,” I said. “And for purely selfish reasons…I’m glad I don’t have to wait several weeks to see you again.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s one bonus to it,” Lux laughed lightly.
“There’s plenty of bonuses!” Jasmine interjected, her voice sounding distant. “You set boundaries! Hooray!”
“Setting boundaries is good,” I said in agreement.
“Not with my family, but it had to be done,” Lux sighed. “Anyway, Jas and I are going to crash now. Big day tomorrow—her family’s having a huge birthday dinner for her sister.”
“Have fun! Gonna miss you in my bed tonight.” I told her.
“I’m gonna miss being there, Jasmine hogs all the bedsheets.”
“I do not!” Jasmine protested, and then something collided with Lux, knocking the breath out of her, and muffling her laughter.
Hearing her laugh eased the unsettled feeling completely.
“Goodnight, Theo,” she said, still giggling.
“Night, Lux,” I smiled.