24. Micah #2
“What happened anyway? I asked Nate and all he said was you and the hot nun broke up.”
I huffed a rough laugh. “Yeah, we did.”
“But why?” Jordan said as he sat at the kitchen table and kicked the chair across from him out with his foot.
I took the hint and had a seat.
“I was lying to her.” Honesty again.
I ran my hand through my hair before opening my Mountain Dew.
“That’ll do it. And she found out before you could tell her?”
I nodded and took a long pull from my soda, wishing it was something a little harder for this conversation.
“She found out on Thanksgiving, when unbeknownst to both of us our families were eating together. Apparently, her family was trying to get her to attend. I tried to explain myself, and to her credit the next day she did listen. But she decided she couldn’t forgive me and broke it off.”
“Damn. That sucks.”
“Yeah, it really does.”
“Are you’re not going to do anything to get her back?”
I shrugged. “What can I do? She said it’s over. I have to respect that.”
“Do you want her back?”
“Of course! I would do anything to make it right.”
“Except do anything? No big grand gestures? Nothing?”
“I went to her the next day. I tried, but I’m not going against her wishes.
I mean, maybe that would work on some people, but Robin doesn’t like to be pushed.
That is one way to piss her off for good.
All I can do is try and be a better man so that if she gives me another chance someday, I will be worthy of her. ”
Jordan just looked at me for a minute before reaching across the table and giving my hand a squeeze. “Damn Micah, you really are one of the good ones.”
I shook my head. “I don’t feel like it right now.”
“No, trust me. You are. I totally get it. I hope she comes around.”
“Thanks man.”
That’s when Nate called from the other room. “Micah if you don’t come back the party is leaving you in the cave to fight off hundreds of orcs on your own.”
“Well, it looks like I gotta go,” I said, getting up to head back in.
I only paid about half attention for the rest of the game.
I was too busy thinking about what we had talked about.
My only shot at getting her back was becoming a man who deserved her.
In some weird way, I did trust the universe to put us back in each other’s paths, and all I could do was be worthy by then.
“Dude. Roll your dice!”
“Sorry,” I said as I rolled my twenty-sided die.
It was time to do what I needed to do.
Later that week I went back over to the shelter. After I fixed their van and got them a new set of tires, I stopped over and fixed one of their dryers and helped install a new faucet to replace the leaky one. I was here tonight with a surprise.
I knocked on the door and Maggie answered.
“Micah, to what do we owe the surprise?”
“I thought you guys might need a little Christmas cheer,” I motioned back to my car that had a Christmas tree strapped down on top. “I can get this set up for you, and then maybe order a couple pizzas and you all can decorate it.”
“That sounds lovely,” she said with a warm smile. “Let me get some people to help you get it inside.”
I made my way outside and by the time I was untying the tree three people were headed out to help me. We got everything inside, and Ariel and another younger girl were moving some furniture clearing a space for it.
Next thing I knew I was playing Christmas music for them as they all decorated.
Was this a substitute because I needed to make amends to Robin?
Maybe. But it felt good to act. People at Lantern House all came here on a journey of their own.
I didn’t need to know their story to know they were worthy of dignity and respect.
This is what it looks like to start healing communities.
It would take more than a Christmas tree and some pizza, but it was a start.
And after a rousing rendition of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer there was a knock at the door.
I set my guitar beside me and got up to pay for the pizza.
After a couple more songs I left with a full belly and a full heart.
I even played some Christmas music on the way home instead of my bad day playlist. Things were slowly getting better.
I should have known that feeling was too good to last. When I pulled up there was someone sitting on my porch.
My brother.
I pulled into my driveway, slammed the car into gear, grabbed my guitar and made my way to the door. I was not ready for whatever this was.
He stood from the porch swing as I approached. His energy was off. He seemed jittery. He was probably using again, if he had ever even stopped.
“Micah, I need to talk to you.”
I unlocked my front door without speaking.
“Please, Micah. Can we talk?”
“Come in,” I said as I held the door open.
I set my guitar case down in the corner and took my coat off before I finally turned to him.
“What do you want? I already told mom and dad I’m done.”
He shook his head but kept pacing. “This isn’t about them.”
A line formed between my eyebrows as he paced. Whatever was about to happen was good.
“I need to borrow some money.”
“What?”
He turned to face me and in the light of the living room I really took him in. He looked bad. His skin had a grayish tint accompanied by a sheen of some kind, and his eyes were red rimmed and sunken.
“Caleb. Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I just need some money.”
I sighed. I loved my brother, but how was I the family disappointment? I know addiction is a sickness, and I know if he had another choice, he wouldn’t be like this, but he had been bailed out time after time.
“I don’t have much. I just finished Christmas shopping and I’m a middle school teacher. I’m not exactly rolling in it.”
“I know, just like 200 bucks.”
“Caleb. I don’t have two hundred dollars right now. Ask mom and dad.”
“They won’t give me any money… especially now.”
“Why especially now?”
He sat down on the couch holding his head between his hands.
“I just fucked up. And they found out… and now I just need a little bit of money. I owe someone money. Please!”
“What you need is rehab.”
“You’re right. I’ll go after Christmas. I promise.”
I went and sat down next to him. I’ve never seen him this bad before.
“What’s going on?”
“Ummm… well… There has been an investigation at the church. They noticed some money was missing. I’ve been skimming off the youth funds. I didn’t think anyone would notice, but they did. Mom and Dad are so mad. They cut me off. I just need some money.”
I pulled out my phone and pulled up MoneyApp and transferred him some money.
“There. $200. But that is.”
He bolted up from the couch and threw his arms around me. “Thank you! Thank you so much, man.”
“You were stealing from the church?”
“You and I both know they were never going to miss it. You know how much money they make.”
“I know. I’m just surprised is all. Dad must have flipped.”
Caleb shook his head, “I’ve never seen him like that. He’s been on a rampage since you everything that went down on Thanksgiving. I’ve never seen him on a power trip quite like this.”
“I ummm —- I don’t know what to say.” I couldn’t help but feel like it was partly my fault.
“Micah, you don’t have to say anything. I admire what you did. I wish I could stand up to him like that.”
I pulled my brother into another hug. I don’t think I’ve hugged anyone in my family in years. I mean, my mom does fake hugs sometimes, but never a true embrace.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
He scratched his head as he blew out a breath. “I mean… no. But I will be.”
“We are going to revisit the rehab discussion after the holidays.”
He gave a slow nod. “Okay.”
After I left, I sat down on the couch. The church was poking around in money. That wasn’t good. Did they find out about Robin's little act of do gooding? I had no way of knowing.
Shit.