Chapter 33
Calvin
Ifake a smile, doing my part for the photos being taken with the rest of the wedding party.
There’s something unusual surrounding me and I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is. I am surrounded by people I’ve seen regularly for the years. I had been so immersed in their lives, following their every move - following Violet’s every move, and now that I stand on the outside for the first time, I’m starting to realize that maybe Nikita is right when she says that I’m out of place.
When I started dating Violet, I felt as if I hit the jackpot. She was everything I wanted to be part of. She represented the possibility of living a successful life without having to dabble in anything that was unethical. I wanted to prove to my father that the route he took was not his only option. I immersed myself in her life and those around me to the point that I feel lost now.
My eyes scan the crowd as I look for Nikita who is no longer sitting at our table. The photographer shouts a couple more commands.
“Oi!” A clicking sound snaps my attention back, “Look here, mate.”
This impromptu photo shoot is annoying me. I don’t want to stand here and smile, pretending that all of this isn’t the big farce that it is. I bring my eyes forward, a flicker of an orange dress - the same color Nikita is wearing - catches my eye.
Found her.
A snap or two later, the photographer dismisses us to take pictures of the couple instead.
I head towards Nikita, but am abruptly stopped in my tracks by Violet who comes out of nowhere.
“Fu-crap Vi, you gave me a fright.”
“Sorry.” She flashes me a small smile, “Can I steal you for a moment?”
I look past her, my eyes finding Nikita at the bar, her arms leaning against it as she chats it up with that damn bartender again.
“No, sorry.” Annoyance fuels my movements as I excuse myself from Violet and continue over to where Nikita stands. Blake notices me first, Nikita’s gaze following him as I make it over to them.
She turns to me, a smile forming on her lips, a teasing tone in her voice, “I was just asking Blake here to explain the difference between bourbon and whiskey.”
“And did he?”
“Not yet.”
“I’ll take her off your hands now,” I say, turning to Blake, “Thanks, Blake.” A part of me wants to dismiss him, but Nikita’s reprimanding of the way I treated him earlier repeats in my mind and I hate that feeling.
My eyes are back on Nikita who has since stepped closer to me, her eyes dip before meeting mine. I soak up the way she allows her natural beauty to shine tonight. Her thick, curly hair surrounds her and her body is coated in that orange material revealing a deep contrast with her darker toned skin.
I have never known someone to wear color like she does, but it suits her. Her entire being is one dipped in the brightest of colors, bringing life to this otherwise grayscale world.
I lift my hand to her, opening my palm up, “Want to dance?”
Curiosity flashes in her eyes. “I thought you didn’t dance.”
“Seems to be the only way I can be in control of something around you.” I reach for her hand, pulling her towards the dance floor. The lights have since dimmed to a warm amber hue illuminating the area.
I want an excuse to feel her close again, To see if there is some indication that whatever is happening between us is real. I have no memory of ever wanting something more than I want her. The curiosity is getting the better of me and my control is slipping through my fingers.
We stop and I slip my hand around her waist, deliberately making sure I touch her skin as I move, needing a reaction out of her. She brushes up against my chest as I take her other hand in mine, slowly pulling her closer.
“Every time I turn my back, you’re flirting with the bartender.”
“I wasn’t flirting with Blake.” Her eyebrow jumps up, questioning me, “Why? Are you jealous?
“I told you I don’t get jealous.”
“If you’re jealous, just say it.”
My jaw clenches, her relentlessness is both an irritation and the biggest turn-on. She will push until she gets what she wants.
“While we’re here, you’re mine,” I murmur, giving her the answer she wants.
Her eyes flash with arousal and my eyes fall to her lips. There is something intoxicating about her and it appears that whatever self-control I have, left me a long time ago. There is nothing stopping me from getting one taste of her. That’s all I need.
One taste and then I can move on.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she murmurs.
“Like what?”
“Like you want to kiss me.”
My tongue peaks out, running over my bottom lip as my eyes drop back to her lips and I lose myself to her.
“Maybe I’m curious.”
Her lips part slightly, a soft exhale coming from her, the look of arousal in her eyes sending the blood straight to my groin. Our bodies continue to move as one with the music, everything around us disappearing and for this one moment, it’s just the two of us. She is all I see.
“Why don’t you do it and find out?”
Her words slam into me knocking the breath from my lungs. The deep ache in my core pushes me and without giving her time to think about what she just said, I slip my hand in her hair and pull her to me, my lips finding hers.
And oh my fucking god.
She tastes so fucking incredible, I feel as if I am losing myself in the abyss.
I disappear into her, my tongue slipping between her lips coaxing her mouth to open for me, allowing me to taste more of her. My curiosity quickly turns to full-blown desperation for her.
I feel her hands in my hair, raking through it before gripping my curls between her delicate fingers. She pushes herself against me, as I tighten my grip around her, molding her body into mine.
This isn’t real - this can’t be real - but my god, it feels real.
And right.
This feels right. This has me questioning why it has taken me this long to do this in the first place? You mean to tell me that Nikita has existed in my life for as long as she did and was hiding this from me?
One taste of her and I am fucked.
I can feel it.
I know this one taste of her won’t be nearly enough for me.
After a beat, voices around me suddenly increase in volume and I’m snapped back to reality, forcing myself to pull away from Nikita. The two of us breathing heavily as we lock eyes.
I need to kiss her again.
But a hand on my shoulder pulls me backward, shoving my attention in their direction. “Sorry to interrupt, Rhode-kill!” Paul squeezes my shoulder and his boisterous laughter surrounds us, “You are needed by the groom.”
I turn back to Nikita, watching as the realization dawns on her, revealing the revelation in her eyes. Her lips pull into a smile as she runs her fingers through her hair. I want to run my fingers through her hair. I want to kiss the smile off her lips while simultaneously wanting to put one on them. I don’t want to move from her, but I don’t have a choice in the matter as Paul pushes me in the direction of the bar.
“Sorry, darling, we’ll bring him back.”
I turn to Nikita, “Wait here for me.”
She nods, no words accompanying her as I’m dragged away from her. The weight of the decision I just made, hanging over me as I turn away from her..
You kissed her. You fucking kissed her.
You idiot.
There is no going back. I’ve gotten a taste of her and there is nothing I crave more.
I am too far gone.