Chapter 34
Nikita
Oh no.
Oh no!
Did I seriously just make out with Calvin?! And in an even more shocking turn of events, I can’t believe how much I am desperate to do that again.
God damn, Calvin can kiss.
His lips against mine, moving with an uncontrolled desperation that had my heart thundering against my chest. For that moment, everything around us disappeared. There was nothing else I could think about other than how badly I wanted him.
I would have fucked him right there and then.
But when Paul’s interruption zapped me back to reality, I was thankful for the wake-up call. I can’t believe I kissed him. My mind refuses to co-operate and now I have the memory of his kiss on repeat. I can still feel the way he held me close to him, gripping at me like he couldn’t get enough and the way I melted against him.
Now that he’s been dragged across the room, my thoughts are shooting out all the reasons why this is a bad idea.
I slip through the exit that heads towards the beach. I need a moment to myself so I can think clearly and the crisp ocean air calls to me. I stop at the last stair before the beach and pull my heels off one at a time, placing them both in one hand to allow for my other hand to lift the bottom of my dress off the sand.
My bare feet disappear beneath the sand, the rough feeling between my toes as I move closer towards the ocean.
My body feels as if it is on fire and I need to put it out because I can’t accept who ignited it in the first place. This is a disaster waiting to happen. I start to go over the list of reasons this is a bad idea in my head.
1. He’s one of your brother’s best-friends.
2. You can’t stand each other.
Over the years I’ve known him, there was never anything tolerable about him. In fact, he is the one person that always had me rolling my eyes for some reason. He made a poor first impression on me with his pretentious, dickish, judgmental aura. At the time I didn’t know anything about him or all the reasons that could’ve gotten him to that point. I took at face value what I was given and didn’t think twice about it. It wasn’t until he started to lower the wall he seemed to have set up, that I realized the depth that there is to him, and now I need to know more.
3. Jay would kill him
4. What if this isn’t real to him?
Water washes up against my feet, giving me a jump-fright at how unexpectedly cold it is. I gasp out loud and step back, moving away from the water. A round of celebrations echo from the hotel and I turn to look back.
Calvin is in there right now, but for how much longer? What will happen when he comes to find me? How the hell are we supposed to talk about this?
And more-so, why am I more interested in kissing him again than anything else?
Every cell in my body begs me to find him and finish what we started, but the logical part of my brain that exists as a faint echo, still has me thinking twice. I dig my feet deeper into the sand, pretending that is going to be enough to keep me still.
I take a deep breath in, welcoming the crisp air into my lungs as I start to attempt to clear my mind. My eyes are closed and I can still feel his kiss tingling on my lips. My fingers lift, slowly running over my lip as if to try and retrace what I just experienced.
Is that part of the role that we are playing? One would kiss their fake girlfriend - right? My lack of experience in fake relationships has me scrambling to try and make sense of all of this. Calvin kissed me - out of the blue and not as retaliation to something that happened.
It was just the two of us…
But what if he saw Violet coming our way? That would make enough sense as to why he would kiss me. Part of this is to make her jealous… right?
I am struggling to convince my insides that what I’m experiencing isn’t real. Calvin and I knew what we were getting ourselves into, but I never anticipated I would have this as a problem.
He kissed me.
For real.
It had to be real.
I’m not sure how I’ll be able to handle it if it isn’t. He stripped back a layer of vulnerability from me I have forgotten I can share, but there is something about his conviction that made me want to tell him.
Calvin rarely takes what he wants, but when he grabbed me, it felt as if he was.
I lift my hand, resting it over my eyes as I groan in frustration, “What the hell were you thinking?!”