Chapter 36
Nikita
Ihave never been kissed like this before.
Like I am the oasis in his parched desert.
He moves like a man starved and yet, still manages to pause for the right moments to soak up our kiss. As soon as I move my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, he takes the open invitation to devour me in any way he can. His tongue swipes over mine before he takes my bottom lip between his teeth and applies just the right amount of pressure.
“Oh-ah.”
I can’t stop the moan that falls from my lips at how good that is. I’m not made of glass - I am not some fragile woman that needs to be protected and handled with care. I want more.
And without realizing it, Calvin is giving me just that. He kisses me like this will be the last time he will ever get a taste of me. I melt into him, allowing my hands to move into his hair, running my nails against his scalp in an upward movement, taking his hair between my fingers and tugging at it.
He groans against my lips, sending vibrations all through my body, stopping between my legs as I ache to be touched. I had been convinced I would rather fuck a cactus than Calvin, but all this time I couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t know what I had been depriving myself of and now my self-control is pathetic when he’s in the vicinity. He clouds my judgment and turns me primal, allowing nothing but my desire to drive my decision-making.
His hand slides down my back resting over my ass as he squeezes, causing my pussy to ache as it begs for attention. I press my body into him, feeling how hard he is against me. I celebrate knowing that I’m the one doing this to him. His reaction has me wanting to drop everything and see what more I am capable of doing to him.
I move my hand over his erection. “You’re hard.”
“Can you blame me?” His voice vibrates on my lips, his hand finds mine and he wraps my fingers around him through his pants. My breath catches in my throat, my underwear dampening further. “This is all your fault.”
“Let me guess? You need me to sort this out for you.”
“It’s only fair since you’re the one who caused it.” He gives my ass another squeeze, sending a burst of arousal through my veins.
If there is one place my confidence appears, it’s moments like this. “I’m sure you’ve already thought about what it would be like to have my lips wrapped around you?”
“Fuck, Nikita…” My name is a plea on his lips.
A rush of satisfaction shoots through me, “You have.”
“The question is,” His words vibrate against my lips,”Can we put these lips of yours to good use?”
“Oh, my lips are capable of many things, Mr Rhodes.”
“Mr Rhodes?” He repeats, “Are you trying to make me cum in my pants?”
I smirk, a small laugh on my lips. “Yes.”
I am high on arousal, my body is ready to surrender itself to him, allowing him free range to do whatever he wants to me.
“Let me touch you, Nikita, please.” His hands grip at the material of my dress.
“Me first.”
I reach for his pants wanting to undo his button and help myself to him, but the sound of a mic feeding through the speakers bursts across the beach. Both of us jump apart, snapping us right back to earth.
We’re both breathing heavily as we look at each other, reality sinking in. Calvin and I are playing with fire and I’m not sure how much longer we can do this before one of us gets burnt. And yet, I can’t seem to convince myself not to do this.
So, I want to fuck Calvin Rhodes? What’s the big deal?
The big deal, Nikita, is those pulsing flickers of warmth in your chest. My inner voice has me wanting to dismiss that truth, but it’s just that - the truth.
“We should head-”
“Inside? Yeah, we should.”
My body rages at me for not giving her what she wants as we make our way back up the beach. This is the smartest decision. There is no room within this arrangement for anything other than what it is. I wonder about a friends-with-benefits arrangement, but I’m definitely not one to share.
Just the thought of it gets me wound up, a deep tug of jealousy in my stomach.
Nope. No. Someone sound the alarm.
We walk side-by-side with neither of us saying anything more, I just know we’re both feeling it. The thick tension-fueled tug between us was a palpable charge electrifying the atmosphere and removing all the oxygen at the same time.
I’ve never had someone awaken my body to this extent before. And worse than that, my heart. Most people in my life that know me, make jokes about my ability to switch off and be the master of my own emotions, rather than the other way around.
Calvin’s ability to garner any reaction out of me has me afraid of what else he is capable of.
* * *
We spendthe remainder of the rehearsal dinner playing the role of the couple that we need to be. I am not sure if our kiss has anything to do with it, but we rested into a comfortable way of moving with each other, slowly mastering this fake relationship thing.
Except when he touches me - whether it be a hand on my thigh or the brush of his fingers against my back - the lines between what was fake and real have become blurred. My heart picks up pace and my body flushes at his touch. I can’t get the concept across to my body that this isn’t the kind of action that warrants a reaction. This is all meant to be for show, but when you add in the stolen kisses, nothing makes me believe this can’t be real.
This has to feel real to him.
Right?
Or am I making an assumption based on what I’m hoping is the truth?
Frustration bubbles inside of me, increasing with intensity as the rest of the night goes on. Every action between us makes me question my own sanity. With the way my body opened up to Calvin’s touch earlier, I am struggling to fan that flame.
Obviously getting into an elevator with him is the last thing I should be doing, and yet, here we are.
I don’t want the doors to close yet as I beg the universe to send someone else into this elevator with us. If it’s just the two of us, I am worried I might suffocate from the tension that has yet to leave us. It followed us all night long, gripping at my insides begging for a relief from everything that’s been building but, since I’m trying not to give in, I need a buffer.
Calvin leans across pressing the button to our floor and the doors close, killing my hopes of surviving this ride.
“Did you have a good evening?” Calvin asks, surprising me with his question, but I remain unfazed.
“I did, thanks.”
“That’s good.”
“And you? Did you enjoy your night?”
He nods, “Yes, thanks.”
There is silence before we hear the ping signaling we have passed a floor.
I eye him trying to suss out his next move, but he offers nothing to me. I return my gaze forward, not trusting myself enough to remain immune to his good looks and effortless charm.
After a beat of silence, his voice cut through, “I have a proposition for you.”
“Oh?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Go on then.”
“We keep this thing - whatever this is between us…” I send my eyes in his direction, intrigue flaring inside of me as he continues, “going until we leave Portugal.”
Calvin is offering the kind of arrangement I have already been thinking about. My mind races with flashes of what we can do together and the pulse between my legs aches, already leading me in the direction of saying yes.
“And what are the parameters of this ‘thing between us’ exactly?”
“You decide.” He turns towards me, his eyes holding mine. “I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
The air around me turns thin as I move my body towards him. “I never expected you to be so forthcoming,” I whisper as my eyes drop to his lips.
“Are you going to let me kiss you already?”
His lips hover close, brushing up against mine, turning my voice into a whisper, “Do you usually ask permission before kissing someone?”
His hands cup my face. “Just shut up already.”
My smile disappears against his lips as he kisses me, stepping closer to me and forcing my back up against the side of the cart. My breath gets knocked right out of me as my back hits against it with a force that sends a strong burst of arousal through my veins. Calvin leans into me, the feeling of his erection pressing against my stomach, making my insides flip with satisfaction.
“You’re hard again.”
“No shit, princess.”
I press up against him, applying pressure against his length and hearing a slight exhale of air that I would liken to a groan from him. The kind of sound that has me repeating the action just at the off chance I might hear it again.
His hand disappears up my dress, his bare hand scorches my skin as his hand moves up my thigh, slipping around to meet my ass.
Ping. Fourth floor.
I’m breathless between our kisses, “Calvin, we-not here.”
“You’re right,” he says, but makes no move to stop us. Instead, his lips find mine again, his tongue slips between mine, parting them to open to him. I am aching to find relief as I lift my hips, desperately trying to press my pussy against his hard length in an attempt to find what I’m looking for.
“Nikita, not here.”
A soft laugh falls from my lips, but he is there to collect it. I am ready to hand myself over to him, my body begging for me to allow myself the experience of being touched by Calvin. His hand is on my bare ass again, gripping at it hard enough to make me cry out - something about the pain has my pussy writhing. Who knew Mr. stick-up-his-ass could be so rough?
“Calvin, please.”
“Never thought I’d hear you beg.” His teeth take my bottom lip between them, applying some pressure that has me moaning.
“Never knew you could kiss like this.”
“Wait until you see what else I can do.”
I am so turned on that I can barely think straight.
“Let’s hope you’re capable of living up to expectations.”
His hand slides down my thigh, grabbing my knee and locking it around his waist as he leans into me, pressing his erection against my clit. The grip I have on him is so tight that my nails are digging into his skin.
“Challenge accepted.”
I feel his other hand over my breast, giving it a squeeze as he kisses me. “Tell me what you want.”
“I…” I start but no words form. I can’t think straight as he moves his lips over my jaw and down my neck.
I want to tell him to fuck me. I want him to force this elevator to come to a grinding halt and bury his cock deep inside of me. I open my mouth to tell him what I want when the sound of my cell phone ringing pierces through the air, slicing through the tension and pulling the two of us apart. Reality setting off all alarm bells again.
This - us - bad idea.
What the hell is wrong with you, Nikita?
I grab my phone from my purse, my breathing still heavy as I glance down to see my brother’s name.
“Fuck,” I mutter running my fingers through my hair as I show Calvin the name on the screen.
“Don’t answer it.”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t.”
I gesture between the two of us, shaking my head, “No - this, us - it can’t happen.”
The elevator comes to a halt with the final ping, the doors sliding open as the tension is forced out of the small cart it has been trapped in.
Calvin’s eyes fall with disappointment. “You’re right.”
He steps out of the elevator first, moving down the hallway to put some distance between us. I move to lean against the wall next to the elevator, doing my best to try and calm my breathing just before I answer my phone, “Jay, hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, mana, you okay? Are you running from something? You hate running.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and use all my strength to control my breathing. “Just walking up the stairs. You know me, super unfit.” I try to keep the annoyance from my voice at his inconveniently timed interruption.
He doesn’t comment on that and continues, “I spoke to your landlord earlier today.”
“Oh?” My spirit’s lift with hope, my eyes opening up again, “That’s great news.”
“No, it’s not. I guess I should have asked if you wanted the good or the bad news first, huh?”
The disappointment returns, “What did he say?”
“The damage to your apartment is one of the worst ones. Basically, it’s unlivable.”
“For how long?”
“Anywhere between three and six months.”
Shit. I should have expected I would be out of a place, but a part of me was hoping this would be sorted out sooner.
“My lease is up at the end of next month.” I pinch the bridge of my nose as I move towards the hotel room. “Do you have any good news?”
“Do you really think that your big brother would call you without a solution?”
“Jaaaaaaay.” I drag out the vowel in frustration, begging him to get to the point. He has the ability to talk in circles. We both do. Must be hereditary. And I am still sitting with the lingering feelings Calvin left me with since stepping out of the elevator. My breathing has yet to return to its normal rhythm.
“I’ve got Mario taking a look at your leasing contract - I thought it would be best to have a lawyer look over it.”
“I can’t believe that guy is a lawyer.”
“Me too, but right now, it’s beneficial.”
This is true.
“He might be able to get you a good payout for all the damage done to your things. Apparently the building itself is meant to have insurance for things like that so he’s doing a bit of digging. He’s also going to see if he can get your security deposit back.”
“That would be great.”
“When you’re back, you can stay by me until you get back on your feet.”
It isn’t that I have a problem living with my brother, it’s that I have become so used to my own space that whenever there is anyone in it - or I’m forced to be in anyone else’s - it tends to bother me. I am happy being by myself. But I also have nowhere else to go and my brother will always be there to save the day. He is the most reliable person I know.
I push open the already unlocked door and find Calvin on the other side of the room. “Thanks, mano, sounds good. I’ve got to go now. I’ll call you.” Calvin turns to me, his eyes finding mine across the room as the eye contact shortens the distance between us.
Jay and I say our goodbyes. I slowly remove my phone from my ear, locking it and placing it on the counter as Calvin watches my every move. It unnerves me to have his eyes on me, but I will not cave under it. I embrace it. The tension between us thickens with each passing silent moment.
I speak first, “You and I would be a bad idea,”
“So, we’ve both said.”
Silence.
I tug at the inside of my bottom lip, willing myself to remain where I’m standing when all I want to do is cross this room and continue what we started.
“But…” Calvin murmurs, giving me some hope about where this is heading. He slowly starts to move towards me. “This can also end once we leave here.” He closes the proximity between us further, “Whatever happens in Portugal, stays in Portugal.”
A smile plays on my lips, every cell of my body awakening to his idea. “We’d keep this between us.”
“Of course. No one back home has to know.” He enters my personal space, the smell of his lingering cologne surrounding me. “You can tell me to stop at any point.”
My breath hitches in my throat, his words sending my arousal into a frenzy. “I don’t want you to stop.”
His breath brushes up against me, his lips hovering close to mine. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
And with that, he grabs me, his hand slipping around my waist as he pulls me to him, knocking the oxygen right out of my lungs.