Chapter 41
Calvin
Ifeel compelled to tell her. We stand on a boat in the middle of the ocean, the sun bouncing off the blue water creating a beautiful glistening panoramic view and Nikita full of excitement is still the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.
And she is right, I am using any excuse I can to touch her because not touching her isn’t an option anymore. Now that I know what it’s like to be with her; have felt what she is like against me - I am hooked. We spent most of the morning testing each other’s boundaries, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. It isn’t something I am used to doing. When it comes to ‘matters of the heart’, I am not forthcoming. It’s my default setting, I have become accustomed to it in my life. I only share if I am asked and if I’m being honest, not many have.
But Nikita is the kind of person to ask.
I like that. I like her.
She’s gorgeous - a walking piece of art that deserves to be admired, but with a mouth that should be studied. Her witty banter and unapologetic need to say exactly what she thinks is admirable in its own way. There are few times where fear can get the better of Nikita. She is resilient and has this obsessive need to prove people wrong, Nikita will never succumb to anyone else’s idea of her.
We enjoy watching the dolphins for a few more minutes before the boat continues on its way. Nikita and I sit side-by-side, brushing up against each other as we continue the tour and, although I should have been taking in the surroundings, there is no way I can pull my eyes from her. What the hell is happening to me? I have never been this captivated by anyone, or anything for that matter.
She looks at everything in awe - her eyes lighting up with each new sight she takes in. She seems the most mesmerized when taking in the Benagil Cave. The hole in the cave allows the sunlight to filter through and illuminate the interior with a warm, golden glow.
“What a beautiful view,” Nikita gasps, looking up at the picturesque feature with a fresh appreciation for what nature has provided.
My eyes remain on her, “It is.”
I’m becoming incredibly aware that we are only days away from returning to our separate lives again. That will be the end of our arrangement and something about that realization doesn’t sit well with me.
This was always meant to be temporary.
I know that, but I also know that it isn’t how I feel anymore. Things are different now between us and she has me questioning everything. What do I want? Do I want to return to the safety net of my carefully planned existence?
“Are you going to jump in?” Her voice breaks me away from my thoughts.
I refocus on her as the boat starts to leave the cave. Tony is explaining something about its formation, but I am not paying attention.
“Are you?”
“Of course.”
“Well, you’re insane. Have you felt this water? It’s freezing.” I shake my head.
“So? What’s a little cold water going to do?”
“Besides force my balls up into my stomach?”
She laughs, the sound seeping into my skin and spreading a warmth that shoots straight to my chest. I haven’t appreciated the sound of her laugh before and all I want to do now is hear it over and over again.
“Your balls will be fine. Believe it or not, many have survived before yours.”
We continue to take in our surroundings as the tour continues. It isn’t long before Tony announces that the boat will be coming to a stop and that anyone who wants to swim in the water can now do so. Indistinct chatter surrounds us along with a few people jumping to their feet, ready to get into the water.
“I’ve been waiting for this!” Paul shouts, jumping to his feet and pulling his shirt over his head. “Get a good look ladies.” He flexes his chest and stomach in true douchebag fashion, “I’ll be available until Sunday.”
Both Britney and Kendra berate him as Nikita rolls her eyes, returning her attention to me, “Jump in with me.”
“That’s not happening.”
“It’s just water.”
“I know what it is.”
“I get it now.” She gets to her feet, untying her dress, revealing the black bikini top trying to hold together her breasts, “You’re scared.”
I scoff, “I’m not scared.”
She shimmies the dress down her body, “You are, and that’s okay.”
My eyes drop to her movements, watching how every curve of her body connects and I want to see more. I want to do more for her. I want to feel more of her.
“Eyes up here, Rhodes.” She snaps her fingers in front of me, snapping my attention to them before reaching her eyes, “Look, Cal, honey, it’s perfectly normal to feel fear.”
I narrow my eyes, “I told you I’m not scared.”
“Prove it then.” She shrugs her shoulders casually, as if she isn’t challenging the part of me that never backs down from a challenge. But paired with that is the logical part of me - the side that keeps me from doing things without trying to guess every possible outcome and the way to handle them all.
I am scared. Not of the water, but of taking any real chances at anything. That’s the whole problem. I have gone my entire life working hard to remain on the straight and narrow while simultaneously striving for a success in life that will prove that you can in fact have both money and morals.I have spent my whole adult life trying to heal from the wounds of my childhood and in turn, I miss out on things I am meant to experience. Taking risks. Trying things out. Making mistakes. Failing. Learning.
Nikita tosses her dress at me before making her way towards the stairs of the boat without waiting for my response. I stare at her in awe, an exhale of laughter falling from my lips at the sheer carefree nature that this woman exudes.
“We’re not done talking!” I cup my hands around my mouth, shouting for her, but she flicks her hand at me with dismissal.
“We can talk in the ocean, babe!”
A few people turned in my direction after witnessing our brief interaction. I shake my head and laugh, folding her dress that is still in my hand and placing it on the bench.
I move to the other side of the boat, following the sounds of loud splashes and a chorus of cheers. Britney is next up to jump in and with her fingers blocking her nose, she jumps and squeals as she hits the water.
“Shit!” she shouts as her head finds the surface again, “It’s so damn cold!”
I chuckle as a figure stops next to me, Violet appearing at my side.
“They’re all crazy.” She shakes her head, glancing down at them with a hint of disapproval.
“Definitely.”
I am surprised to see we are close to passing the double digit mark of people taking part in this. Nikita steps up next, looking in my direction. She blows me a kiss before she turns towards the water, revealing a black thong bikini over her ass. I clench my jaw, and a rush of blood heading to my already swelling cock. I want to leave a hand mark on that ass of hers before I rip that bikini bottom off and help myself to her…
A splash pulls me back, Nikita emerging from the water, twisting in my direction with a look of sheer regret in her eyes making me laugh. I knew I was right in staying right where I was, avoiding the consequence of that icy cold water in my bones.
“Regret it yet?” I shouted to her.
She shakes her head, but even from where I stand, I can see she’s cold, “Never!”
I laugh, “You liar!”
“Must the two of you shout across the boat?” Violet mutters. I forgot she was standing there. Truthfully, I haven’t thought of her much at all on this trip. For the first time in three years, I am the one in charge of what is happening in my life. And anything can happen now. I am no longer bound by expectations and pressure.
I move past Violet to reach for one of the loose towels that have been made available. I grab one before making my way downstairs, finding the ledge that everyone is jumping from. Nikita swims towards the boat, water droplets scattered across her face. Her eyes widen as she notices me.
“No way!”
“Tsk, tsk.” I shake my head, “Don’t get any ideas. I’m not jumping in. Here.” I extend my arm, towel in hand and gesture towards her.
She continues to bob in the water, the sunlight illuminating her golden skin, “Jump in.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
I sigh and drop my arm. “Nikita, I’m not repeating myself. Get out of the water.”
“Calvin, get in the water.”
A few people swim to get back onto the boat, clearly coming to their senses, but not Nikita. Of course not.
“You’re cold.”
She shakes her head, “I’m not.”
“Then why are your lips purple?” I ask, dryly.
“They’re always this color.”
“You liar,” I say with laughter before gesturing to the towel in my hand, “This is for you. Use it.”
“One jump, Calvin?” She holds a single finger up, narrowing her eyes on me, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I’ll be cold.”
“Yes, so?”
“What do you mean ‘so’?” I shake my head, “That’s enough of a reason.”
“It’ll be fun, trust me,” she says, looking up at me with those eyes of hers, “You do know how to have fun, right?”
I straighten up and rest my hands on my hips, the towel still in one. “Of course, I do.”
She looks unconvinced. “I’m going to need to see some evidence to prove that’s true.”
“You and I have very different ideas of what constitutes fun.”
She nods, her eyes narrowing as she pretends to be deep in thought. “You’re just saying that because your idea of ‘fun’,” she adds air quotes over the last word, “is actually really boring.”
I glance at her over the rim of my sunglasses, “How would you know that?”
“Just going based off your personality.”
This woman will be the death of me. And also an endless supply of entertainment with her relentless ability to say whatever she is thinking. I ignore her statement and extend my hand with the towel again. This time she moves without protest, her only response a disappointed sigh.
“Beep, beep!” Britney’s voice comes from behind me, “Getting out is even worse. Don’t do it!”
I step back, giving her space. She jumps into the water again, forcing me to step back to avoid remaining in the splash zone. Moving back towards Nikita, I extend my hand with the towel, trying to find a spot that will not end with me slipping on some water, but Nikita doesn’t give me any time for that.
There is a tug at the towel and before I know it, I land in the water, the cold of it taking my entire body hostage. I push through the water, finding the surface and Nikita’s shocked eyes on me.
“Did you ju-”
“I’m so sorry-” I didn’t expect Nikita to pull me in and judging by her reaction, she didn’t expect that either. “I didn’t mean to do that,” Nikita says, trying to stop her laughter, but failing miserably, “I mean, I thought about it, but I didn’t actually intend to do it. Looks like my intrusive thoughts won.”
She dissolves into a fit of laughter and that sound is contagious. I can’t stop myself from joining her as I watch her ooze with amusement.
It’s amazing what laughter is capable of doing.
I have been so hell-bent on staying dry and not doing something as stupid as swimming in the cold water, but what for? This moment with Nikita, in the water -even though it’s freezing water- is already branding itself as a memory in my mind that I will carry around forever.
I swim towards her as she wipes her eyes, her purple lips still pull into a smile as she tries to stop laughing. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.
Stopping in front of her I respond, “If I get sick from this, you’re going to need to nurse me back to health.”
“You just want me at your beck and call.”
“Is that too much to ask for?”
“Sorry, Rhodes, you like me because I’m not like that.”
Spot on.
I do like Nikita. Way more than I expected to and probably way more than I realized until this moment. A smile still sits on her lips and suddenly, I don’t care about anything except invading her personal space, so I do. I pull her to me, the feeling of her breasts up against my chest elicits a small gasp from her and I catch it with my lips as I find hers.
There is nothing I want more in this moment than to kiss her, so I do. I don’t allow the logical, afraid part of me to stop me from this. Fear has stopped me from many things in life, but it isn’t going to stop me from kissing her - not anymore.
I’m in desperate need of a hot shower, but I would have stayed in that moment with her forever if she had asked me to. My tongue swipes over hers, feeling her melt against me as we lose ourselves in it for a moment before I pull away to meet a look of surprise in her eyes. Almost instantly, she remembers who is around us and readjusts her reaction accordingly.
I’ve forgotten too - Nikita is all I see.
“You keep kissing me,” her voice is a soft murmur, but she sounds breathless.
“I don’t want to have to stop.”
Her eyes meet mine, apprehension in them now, “I-I can’t tell what’s fake anymore.”
“This isn’t - not anymore, not for me.”
“Yo, Rhode-kill, move it along!” Paul’s voice booms as he swims through Nikita and I. Not around, where there is plenty of space - the douchebag makes sure to separate us, dousing our moment in reality. “Get a damn room!”
I want to return to the moment just before our interruption. I needed to hear what Nikita was going to say to my confession because in that moment, choosing to tell her that, I opened myself up for possible rejection. A feeling I’ve never been very good at dealing with.
“Maybe we should finish this conversation when we’re not in the freezing cold?” Nikita suggests, her bottom lip chattering.
Almost instantly, my body turns cold as I register exactly where I am. It’s easy to forget things with her around. “Good idea.”
Nikita swims to the deck, pushing herself out of the water as I follow closely behind her. One of the attendants on the boat brings Nikita and I towels since between the two of us, there is only one and it is currently soaked.
Nikita practically leaps at her to grab it, thanking her profusely before she wraps herself in it. The breeze blows against my skin sending goose bumps over me. Fuck, I really need a hot shower right about now.
“Please hold this.” I hand Nikita my towel as I move to pull my, now soaked shirt over my head. I can feel her eyes on my body when I finish the motion. “Eyes up here, Da Silva.”
Her eyes jump to mine, her cheeks flush and a small laugh falls from her lips at my repeated use of the phrase she used on me. “What if I like what I see?”
“Then tell me.”
A moment of thick tension settles between us and I can feel my cock fighting to turn hard again. I am already dealing with tight balls from the cold water and now I have to monitor an erection. Am I capable of not turning hard around her? That’s the real question…
“What a stupid fucking idea!” Paul mutters, pushing himself back up onto the ledge.
For fuck sakes.
Just when I feel I am making progress with Nikita, someone has to interrupt us. I turn back to Nikita who has folded the towel around her body, shifting the conversation, “Oh! I can’t wait to shower.”
“You’ll have to fight me for it.” I lean over, taking some hair between my fingers trying to force the water out of it. “First come, first serve.”
Her eyes narrow on me. “I’m showering when we get back to the hotel. I don’t care if you’re in there or not.”
My lips pull into a smirk. “See you there, then.”