Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ross
We strip away our clothes one slow, patient layer at a time. There’s no urgency because these feelings, the way we’re about to bare our souls, shouldn’t be rushed. The love I feel for her is strong but also fragile. Because life is fragile and I don’t want to take a second of this for granted.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I breathe when she’s stretched out before me.
Her eyes glitter as she gazes up at me. “You’re pretty spectacular yourself.” She reaches for me, pulling me on top of her, lips seeking mine. It’s like the first time all over again just with less urgency.
Because we have nowhere else to be, nothing else to think about except each other.
Another spectacular moment in time, coupled with all the others from the last couple of months, that made me fall in love with her.
“I love you,” I whisper softly, eyes boring into hers as I slide into her.
Then I realize I’m bare.
“Wynter!” I start to pull out but she shakes her head.
“It’s okay. I’m protected. And I don’t want anything between us. Not now, not ever again.”
“Fuck, baby.” I drop my forehead to hers and thrust in deep.
She pulls in a slow, shaky breath and sighs.
“That feels so good.”
“I was going to buy you a ring,” I admit. “Then I realized I don’t know what you’d like.”
“Whatever you choose will make me happy.”
I smile. “You make me happy.”
We start to move, bodies in perfect harmony. Kind of like the rest of us. Like everything has finally fallen into place. I don’t know how I lived so many years without her, but now that she’s mine, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing her how I feel.
“Ross.” Her breath is choppy, eyes starting to glaze over as I thrust in and out.
And I’m right there with her.
This goes so far beyond sex. So far beyond anything physical.
Our bodies connect but so do our minds. Our hearts.
Our souls. Maybe that’s a cliché but I don’t care.
I didn’t know how other people fall in love but I’m doing it just like this.
Deep inside her, fingers of both hands locked, everything inside me finally finding its way home.
Because no matter where we are, Wynter is my home.
I don’t know when it happened, but I have zero doubts.
“Ross…” She nips my lower lip and I smile.
“Ready to come for me?”
“So ready.”
I feel her clench tighter, her fingers squeeze mine, and then we’re both toppling over the edge. I stroke my tongue against hers as we go, anxious to be as connected as humanly possible, and finally, after a blissful eternity, I collapse against her.
“I didn’t know it could be like that,” she says after a little while. “Where the emotional and the physical are equally passionate.”
“It’s pretty great, right?” I roll to the side but take her with me so we’re nestled together.
“I was so mad at you for risking this,” she admits. “I couldn’t believe you wouldn’t talk to me, to at least tell me you were okay. And I decided I couldn’t be with someone like that.”
I tense for a second but then remember we’ve moved past all that.
“Never again,” I vow solemnly. “You have my word. I needed…I don’t know. I can’t say I’m not over the past, because for the most part, I am. But there are obviously some lingering issues.”
“Look, you will never be okay with the person who killed them. Never. But Tommy didn’t do it. He was literally a child. Taking it out on him is not just unproductive, it’s harmful to you, both personally and professionally.”
“I acted out of anger, from a place of hurt.” I hug her tighter. “But I’m going to work on that. And I’ll talk to Tommy. To all of them.”
“I’m sure they’re going to understand.”
“I punched Tommy in the face,” I say, grimacing.
“I heard. He had a hell of a shiner.” She’s chuckling when she says it, though.
“What, uh, can you tell me what Harley’s told you? About what Tommy’s feeling?”
“Honestly, confused. He’s not even mad about the black eye because he understands how much you lost. But he’s so confused about why you just reacted without even talking to him.”
I’m thoughtful. “I guess… I asked him if he knew his father was a murderer and he said yes. I never got beyond that.”
“He knew his father went to prison for vehicular manslaughter or whatever it was. He didn’t know who he killed.”
“Yeah, Sasha straightened that out for me.” I run a hand up and down one of her arms. “Thanks for giving me a chance to explain myself. Something I didn’t give Tommy.”
“I love you,” she says. “I don’t have a choice. And if we’re being honest, Tommy loves you too. Just different from me.”
I chuckle. “I hope so.”
“Have you reached out at all?”
“Like I said, you were and will continue to be my priority. Yes, we have responsibilities like work and such, but nothing is as important as what we’re building.”
“Assuming all is forgiven at work, what’s the plan?” she asks after a moment.
“The plan is to start auditioning musicians to play with me as the opening act this summer and into early fall. Kingston asked me not long ago if I wanted to share some of my music with him, songs I’ve written, and if he likes any of it, maybe we’ll record something together.
Or I can sell the band some music. Either way, I’m going to start writing more and trying to sell my songs like I did right after the accident.
That was the only way I could make money at first, and I was stupid to stop. ”
“It probably hurt to write music without your band.”
“It did. I made some dumb decisions in my grief. I guess sometimes I still do, which is why I’m going to work on it.”
“I’m proud of you for acknowledging that,” she whispers.
“I’d like it if you came on tour with us this summer,” I say slowly. “Finish this job and then quit. I’m going to be making a lot of money and, assuming all goes well with the band, I can let go of my apartment and either rent a storage space or put it in Tommy and Harley’s place while we’re gone.”
“I have close to a hundred grand put away,” she says. “For our future.”
“I have five times that amount in investments. Maybe a little more. So, when the time comes to buy a house or whatever, we’ll be okay.”
“And if I keep working—” she begins.
“Wait.” I gently interrupt. “I’m not the kind of man to tell you to stay home, be a traditional wife, any of that. But right now, short-term, I think we need to be together. To build trust and find our footing. When the European leg is over, we can reassess. Is that fair?”
She lifts her head and her eyes search mine. “Yes. Absolutely. And as much as I hate giving up my independence, I agree that it’s important for us to spend time together.”
“I don’t want you to give up anything—I just want to take care of you. Love you. Make you happy.”
“I’m very happy when I’m with you.”
“So let’s not be apart. We can afford it.”
“I’ll have to dig into my savings for bills, though. And that reduces what we’ll have when we decide what’s next.”
I shake my head. “I can cover everything, babe. I know, it will probably feel weird to you, taking money from me, but either we’re completely committed, or we’re not.”
“I’m committed—I just don’t want to be in a position where I have to ask you for money to go buy a pair of shoes or the fancy shampoo I like.”
“Never. I’ll get you a debit card on my account so you’ll always have access to whatever you need. I’m an open book, Wynter. I’m not worried about shampoo or shoes or anything else.”
She giggles. “Obviously, you have no idea how much shoes cost.”
“I mean, if you’re going to buy multiple pairs of thousand-dollar shoes, we should probably discuss that, but I’m not going to buy thousand-dollar anything without talking to you either.”
“Okay.”
“Does that stress you out?”
“The idea of not having my own money stresses me out a little but I’ll get used to it.”
“The only thing we have to worry about is health insurance. I never mentioned it to Sasha, but I will.”
“Yeah, that could be a big deal. The premiums alone could cost us way too much money every month.”
“Unless we got married. Then I could add you to mine.”
I feel her freeze. It takes twenty seconds or so for her to relax again, and I wait it out, trying to gauge how she feels about that idea.
“I want romance,” she says slowly. “I’m open to marriage but not as a way to get health insurance. I want the proposal, all the fun parts of falling in love and getting engaged.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”
And I already have an idea of how I’m going to do it.
Unfortunately, all of our plans are contingent upon Tommy and the band forgiving me for making an ass of myself.