Chapter 2 #2
Because Walker’s house was less than five minutes away, we didn’t get much time to talk—and I remembered my dad saying one time that everything in Pueblo was just twenty minutes away, regardless of where in town you were or where you wanted to go.
Obviously, when kids all went to the same high school, that distance and time was even less.
When Cameron pulled into the long driveway, I knew this was the kind of house my dad envied and perhaps aspired to.
Even though we had a beautiful home with a well-manicured yard in front and back and more rooms than we needed, my father always wanted more—and, the older I got, the more I wondered if it was just for the message his things sent to his clients.
I didn’t know what, if anything, Walker’s mother did for a living, but I knew his dad was a dentist—one who obviously did well for himself.
The ostentatious, sprawling two-story building with a perfectly tended yard spoke volumes .
As if she could read my mind, Emma said, “I hear they have a place in Aspen, too.”
Of course, they did—because they no doubt went skiing a lot during the winter months. My dad insisted we do it too, and I’d taken skiing lessons as a kid, but it wasn’t my favorite thing. Ice skating was far more preferable.
So quiet I could barely hear him, Cam said, “Don’t go falling for the rich kid.”
Emma started laughing. “You are my one and only, babe. Besides, I’m pretty sure Walker has a girlfriend already—and he’s gay.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes, it does.”
“It doesn’t. That would make him bi or pan.”
“Or,” Emma said, stroking Cameron’s stubbly chin, “he’s confused. That’s my guess. I don’t think he knows he’s gay or is willing to admit it yet.”
“Well,” I said, opening the door, “at least that means he’s probably not one of those guys beating their chests while toxically braying about being masculine.” That was what I hoped—but I didn’t really know Walker. I’d only seen him a few times on campus, and he did indeed have a girlfriend.
Soon, we were all walking toward the house that looked completely over the top and there were already kids and cars everywhere.
When we got near the entrance, we found cardboard arrows on thin metal sticks poking up out of the ground to guide us around to the back of the home.
As we made our way around, I thought about Walker having a girlfriend but being gay.
Was Emma right? And how could she tell? I felt sorry for his girlfriend if it was true, and then I wondered if we could really truly know the person we were dating.
But, yes…I knew Jason. I knew his heart. Surely, he wasn’t lying to me about anything. I knew I’d never lied to him. There was no reason to.
When we got in the backyard—at least three times the size of my parents’—I spotted a platform where the guys were setting up.
There were huge trees around the perimeter of the yard and closer by there were bushes decorated with blue fairy lights, making it seem festive and magical.
Somehow it made the air feel a little cooler, but I knew that was just my imagination.
I told Emma, “Be right back.” She and Cameron were headed toward the cluster of kids on the patio where I imagined they might find beverages, possibly illegal because of our age. But I wanted to see my boyfriend.
When I got close, I called him by name and, when he turned around, his face lit up—happy to see me, reflecting the joy in my own heart.
I couldn’t help but dash the rest of the way, and he pulled me into an embrace, picking me up so that my feet no longer touched the ground and swirling me around as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages.
After he set me on my feet, he kissed me like I was a glass of water and he was dying of dehydration. It was intoxicating. I didn’t want to think of anything except this perfect moment.
When his lips left mine, I asked, “When are you guys going to get started? ”
“Soon. Walker said we should technically be done by seven so we don’t get in trouble with the cops for violating the noise ordinance.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He said one of their neighbors is pretty cool, because he hangs out with their son sometimes, but the people on the other side are, like, assholes. He said the guy’s a grumpy old judge, so he doesn’t want to piss him off.”
Touching my forehead to his, I asked, “Do his parents know he’s having this party?”
“I doubt it. He’s got whiskey here.”
I raised my eyebrows before Jason kissed me again and then I heard Mark’s voice behind Jason. “Dude, you gonna make us finish setting up your drum kit without you?”
“Sorry. My girlfriend’s hard to resist.” He hugged me tight and then gazed into my eyes. “I’m all yours after we play.”
Mark had overheard, closer now, and said, “You mean after we put shit away.”
“Yeah. That’s what I said.” Jason winked at me, his blue eyes peeking through long, light lashes, and let go.
“I can’t wait to watch you guys play!” I said, turning around to find my bestie and her boyfriend approaching—without drinks.
It wasn’t long before Walker roused the growing crowd of kids at his house, and I wondered briefly if all of them went to Central or if he had kids from all over Pueblo here.
Some faces didn’t seem familiar, so I wouldn’t have been surprised.
As we all gathered around the stage as if we were at a concert, I hoped the guys wouldn’t feel nervous now that they were playing for more people than just a couple of drooling girlfriends.
Soon I’d discover that I loved seeing them play for an audience more than I would have realized.
That night, I could envision the band they would become.
I imagined them looking a little older, perhaps slightly more confident, on a bigger stage with more people watching…
but this was like a glimpse into the future.
As they started playing the first tune, it took me a second to recognize what it was.
Since spending time with Jason, I was learning about all his favorite bands, and this was a song they’d played many times.
Then I remembered that it was a cover of an old Bullet for My Valentine song.
Jason had played the original track for me multiple times, and I liked how his band had made it their own while keeping it recognizable.
The kids in the crowd went crazy, probably because they knew the song. And that was all it took to reel them all in.
As the show went on, I first noticed the cheerleader who’d been talking about Jason earlier in the week—and then I saw something else.
Lots of girls in the front row, all but drooling and losing their minds over the performing band. And the jealousy, much like a physical entity in my chest, rose up again.
Who could blame the girls, though? Even though these guys were high school students, we could easily tell the men they were becoming and each guy was good-looking in his own right.
Making this kind of art only made them look even better.
So I tried to keep my possessiveness tamped down.
Jason had asked me to the prom, not the other way around—and he hadn’t asked any other girls.
He’d wanted me maybe even more than I wanted him.
After they finished playing one of their original songs, Kage said, “Now we’re gonna do something a little different.” I had no idea what it could be because this wasn’t something they’d done in practice.
Soon I found out why.
“It’s another cover, but I’ll let Jason tell you what’s up.”
Jason got up from his drum kit and Mark, removing his guitar and placing it in a case at the back of the platform, took the drumsticks from Jason and sat in his place.
Meanwhile, Kage stepped over a bit to stand where Mark had been, freeing up the center stage mic.
Jason stepped up to it and spoke softly—but, thanks to the mic, his words were loud and clear.
“This song’s dedicated to my girl Allie.
” Then he looked right at me and winked as the band started playing a song I’d never heard before.
It left me breathless.
Jason’s voice wasn’t bad. In fact, it was far sweeter than Kage’s.
Kage had a strong, sometimes raspy, gruff voice that was perfectly paired with the music they played.
Jason, on the other hand, could have sung in a choir—especially because of how sweet and earnest he sounded.
I couldn’t make out all the words, but I thought maybe he was singing a love song.
Afterward, my cheeks were flushed, but I was smiling from ear to ear, even knowing other kids’, especially girls’, eyes were on me.
The band returned to their usual places and resumed playing the setlist I was familiar with, but all I wanted was to be alone with the young man who’d serenaded me.
Emma said, “Oh, my God. Did you know he was going to do that?”
I shook my head, still buoyed by the act. “No clue.”
“Disturbed,” Cameron said. “I respect that.”
“That wasn’t disturbed at all,” Emma said. “It was sweet—and you could learn a thing?—”
“No,” Cameron said, laughing, and I could barely hear him over the music. “That song is by the band Disturbed. It’s called ‘You’re Mine’.”
Emma bit her bottom lip, grinning, and then kissed Cameron on the cheek. “Oops.”
“You’re Mine.” Was Jason trying to tell me something? Or was he trying to tell the world? Regardless, I felt warm and loved, bringing me back to my heavy thoughts of late.
Not just about this being my last school year…but of wanting to tell Jason how much I felt for him.
Of wanting to show him physically. Maybe I was ready now.
The show ended after a few more songs, and the crowd seemed to love it all. From the covers they could sing along with to the band’s original pieces they could bang their heads to, the audience of Pretty Little Lies was becoming their first fans.
Emma said, “Aren’t you gonna tackle your man for the song?”
The crowd was already pushing in on the band before they could even get off the platform—but Jason was already taking his drums apart. That was probably a good idea, considering the party was probably going to get rowdier as kids started drinking more.
Me, though, I sipped on my discreet water bottle. If anyone tried to push a drink on me, I could tell them I already had one. They didn’t need to know I was only drinking water.
I said to Emma, “I’ll wait until they’re done packing up all their instruments.”
But no one else waited. In fact, most of the people who rushed on the stage were girls.
A few of them already had boyfriends, but I supposed that had never stopped a groupie before.
Fay and friends surrounded Kage, but each band member had a few people, mostly girls, around them.
Walker made his way on stage and borrowed Kage’s mic.
“Okay, guys, I hope you enjoyed the band. And thanks to the band for playing my little shindig.”
Little. I didn’t laugh although the word amused me.
Walker continued, “I’ll turn on some music but try not to get too loud—or else we’ll have to take it indoors.” There were a few boos in the crowd. “That’s what I mean by loud , dicks.”
I turned to say something to Emma, but she and Cameron were getting a little cozy, so I shifted my attention back to the stage. There were a few girls around Jason, but one in particular I recognized.
She was one of the cheerleaders who had been at Mark’s house on Tuesday.
Had she been the one talking about Jason?
Although I couldn’t hear her over the voices and music Walker had turned on, I could imagine the kinds of things she was saying.
She was in full flirt mode, touching him on the chest with her fingertips, giggling and chattering at him.
He wasn’t flirting back—just acting almost shy and smiling modestly.
But I would have been a liar if I’d said that hadn’t hurt.
Never before had I felt this emotion so intensely, and it was like a monster in my chest, ready to burst out.
If that girl had walked by me at that very moment, what could I have done to her?
I didn’t want to lose Jason. I’d grown far too attached to him. Still, there was that lingering question: Did he feel the same way about me?
Did he know I’d grown to love him?
As tears filled my eyes, I shifted my focus to the blue fairy lights just past the stage and concentrated on breathing.
I thought about the way we’d snuggled in his car last night before I’d gone inside to my bedroom.
Jason’s feelings might not have been as intense as mine, but he cared. I knew that much.
And that was when he pulled me into his arms unexpectedly.
Fortunately, the tears had never fallen down my cheeks and I was calm again.
As I gazed into his cool blue eyes that seemed to match the fairy lights, I was so tempted to confess the depth of my feelings to him.
But was that coming from the sudden insecurity I’d been experiencing?
“After we get our shit put in Mark’s truck, I’m all yours.”
As I got lost in his kiss, the moment passed. Now wasn’t the time to spill all my emotions and profess my love. Doing that would have to wait.