Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Hunter Cabin, Blue Valley Woods
Is this what it feels like when your heart is breaking?
I press my hand over my chest like I can stop the pain, as I stare out of the high window. Dawn light plays across the two naked Omegas who are lying in the nest.
They are so fucking beautiful together — dark and light.
Bird’s black hair mingles with Joker’s blond on the pale bedding, as they share the same pillow. Bird is curled around the smaller man, wrapping his arms around him protectively even in sleep.
Funny, when Bird couldn’t protect Joker from a kitten, and I suspect Joker could fight off an entire pack of Alphas by himself.
Yet Bird did protect Joker throughout his heat. He was the steady, calm presence who brought us trays of foraged food and drink from the cabin’s kitchen and pulled Joker and me back from the edge, when we both became too rough.
Yet Bird is cool now. His heat is over. And in the cold light of day, I can’t risk Phantom’s reaction when he comes back and finds his prisoners in a nest with his bonded.
It’s better if I leave now, for both Joker and Bird, before they become too attached.
I’m not the one who is becoming too attached.
It must be indigestion, rather than my heart shattering at the thought of leaving Joker behind, right?
As quietly as I can, I adjust my dress, before slipping on my boots. I snatch up Joker’s shirt and trousers. They’ll be tight but they should fit Bird. We can steal coats on the way out.
I stand, staring down at the two Omegas who are cuddled together in the bed like this is something they do every night.
My chest is tight.
Only a month ago, I thought that I would be forever forbidden from bonding because I was a Rogue. I never dreamed that I would be allowed an Omega in a nest. I had closed myself away from the possibility, walling my soul from it.
Yet now I have two.
Greedy.
Except, I must run from one of them to protect them both, and that’s what is tearing me apart.
Would it have been better to continue not to feel anything?
I can’t resist reaching out to push a strand of hair out of Joker’s eyes, checking his forehead.
He’s cool. Out of danger.
I can’t justify delaying my escape any longer.
“So obsessed,” Joker mutters sleepily, cracking his eye open. “Still can’t keep your hands off me, huh?”
I rear back with a frown. “How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to know that you’re out of bed and pulling on your boots.” His gaze is too knowing. I squirm. “Get back here.”
He pats the blankets.
“What’s all the noise about?” Bird grumbles, drowsily. “Tired Omega here. I’ve only caught a couple of hours sleep. It takes a lot of effort to keep up with you two when you’re deep in rut and heat, then wash you afterward because wow, you two were filthy.”
“In a lot of ways.” Joker winks.
He is still watching me like a challenge.
Like he knows that I was intending to run.
Uncomfortable, I perch on the edge of the bed.
“Sit up and eat something,” I command.
I can’t leave before Bird has eaten some breakfast. I can run on an empty stomach, but Bird has been too busy looking after Joker and me to care for himself.
He’ll be hungry.
I reach for the metal tray that rests on the oak nightstand. The tray is covered with a strange mixture of foods that Bird collected from what he lamented was the Hunters’ near empty kitchen: protein bars, slices of hard cheese, an apple, raisins, and diced Spam next to bottles of water.
I wrinkle my nose.
It’s less appetizing than the rations I ate, during my training in Adonis Hall.
Bird kisses Joker like it’s something he does every morning.
Joker wraps his arms around Bird and helps him to sit up next to him.
I watch in fascination, as Joker shakes and transforms back into a Beta.
A wave of possessiveness washes over me.
Not only does Joker feel like both my Omega and my Beta, but he is also the only other Rogue I have met.
We understand each other on a level that no one else can.
Joker takes a deep breath, and I understand that he’s centering himself into his dynamic, as well as the way that scents and sensations feel different.
Our gazes meet. I dart him an understanding smile.
His expression gentles.
Am I also the first Rogue Switch that he’s met?
Can I help how possessive I feel of him?
Why does it have to make this so much fucking harder?
I toss an apple to Joker, who catches it neatly. He holds it up to Bird to take a bite first and then he takes one for himself.
I force myself to munch on the hard cheese. “Are you still living on army rations?”
Joker freezes. “Old habits. We’re not tamed. Have you been investigating us?”
“You’ve been stalking me. It’s only fair.”
“How much did you find out?”
He sounds scared. How much is there for me to discover? How bad is it?
My gaze cools. “Everything.”
It’s a lie. But one that normally tricks the truth out of people.
Joker’s shoulders slump. “Got it. That’s why you don’t want to be with me.”
Bird is glancing between us like we’re engaged in a tennis match.
Then he scowls at me. “Don’t.”
“What?” I grab a water bottle, screwing off the top and taking a drink. “It’s not my fault that Jokes…”
I’m hoping that Joker will fill in the gaps with whatever he’s supposedly done, which is bad enough that he thinks I’ll run from him. He clearly hasn’t discovered everything I’ve done, if he thinks that I could be scared away.
“Stop,” Bird says sharply enough to make me spill the water. He never speaks like that. “We don’t know everything about your past, Honey. We worked out from your methods that you’re ex-military and that’s all. Ro is trying to get you to tell us. She is smart like that.”
“Little Bird,” I hiss, “you suck at interrogation techniques.”
“Ro,” Bird’s eyes gleam, “this is called conversation with our Beta. I know how you were raised. I can’t possibly understand how hard things were.
But Joker has just been through his heat and a transition.
He needs care right now, and I’m giving it to him.
How about we just talk and get to know each other without… ?”
“Tricks, interrogation, or torture?” When Joker tilts up his chin to meet my gaze, I notice the fine tremor running through him. Guilt churns in my stomach. Joker places his palm over his heart. “Scouts honor.”
I roll my eyes but hold the water to his lips.
Surprised, he studies me quizzically for a moment.
“It’s not poisoned,” I mutter. “Or a truth serum.”
Joker swigs on the water, before pulling back. “Now our Omega.”
The our is pointed.
I hold the water to Bird’s lips and take pure satisfaction as he sips.
“It’s okay if you don’t have any feelings for me,” Joker says, quietly. “Everyone experiences things differently. I’ve dreamed about having an Omega in my bed. If you just want me to be the Beta with Omega rutting benefits, however, then I’m down with that.”
I’m shocked enough to pull the water back from Bird, spilling it down his chin.
Bird splutters. “Hey, throwing things at me is one thing. But how about we don’t add chucking water at me.”
“Throwing things?” Joker tightens his arm around Bird like I’m the threat in the bedroom. “No Omega abuse.”
“He likes it.” I absentmindedly brush the water off Bird’s chin. “Is that what you are for Phantom? Nothing but a Beta with rutting benefits?”
Hurt flashes across Joker’s face before he can hide it. “He bonded me.”
I want to bond you.
I manage to keep the words locked behind my teeth but only just.
Bird twists on Joker’s lap, kissing him hurriedly. “I’m sorry. We’re just trying to understand. We want you in our pack.”
“Do you?” Joker’s gaze slides past Bird to me.
I avoid it by busying myself with the bottle, sliding it back onto the metal tray.
Bird nods. “Ro said that you were pretty and not like any Beta she’d met. She thinks that you’ve proved your loyalty and worth, which means a lot to her. Plus, she says that your scent—”
Flushing, I cough loudly to stop Bird from spilling anything more embarrassing.
Joker is already looking too smug.
“My scent is delicious.” Joker appears far more relaxed, tossing his hair. “A worthy, pretty Beta like me—”
“Needs his ass spanking,” I growl.
“Are you offering?” Joker asks, eagerly.
“You haven’t earned it yet.”
“Hmm.” Joker pushes Bird into the pile of fluffy cushions, crawling closer to me. I stiffen. “So, you want to know how my relationship works with my Alpha?”
I glance at the door.
What I truly want is to leave before that Alpha returns.
I snatch up a protein bar and throw it to Bird. When he doesn’t catch it in time and it hits him in the nose, I laugh.
“Omega abuse,” Bird yells, dramatically.
“Eat,” I reply.
Happily, Bird snuggles amongst the blankets, opening the bar and starting to munch.
Yet still not quickly enough for me.
It’s past dawn now.
Bird and I should be leaving.
Joker notices my glance at the door. His expression hardens.
“Phantom and I have been friends our entire lives,” he says.
“We grew up living next door to each other. His pack were wealthier, but mine were doing okay. My Alpha dad was an inventor and didn’t care that I was a Beta.
He inspired a love of gadgets in me, despite me being a Beta.
He promised that when I was older, I could become the next CEO in his small company.
I mean, I had a shot at being a pro swimmer too.
I wasn’t lying about that in the bar. Dad had this college fund for me because he saw something special in me.
I was shit at being the sensible, quiet Beta, which the teachers and everyone else expected.
I was hyper, impulsive, and too loud. I was frequently disciplined at school.
Shocker, yeah? But Dad, he understood me. ”
“All that about how Betas should not take up too much space and keep their heads down because Alphas are the leaders is bullshit,” I snarl.