19. Roman Blake
Pullin’ back felt like a detox.
Shit had my skin crawlin’.
Every instinct in me wanted to move the same way I always had.
Drive by her spot, check her mama block, and scroll cameras for a glimpse if she popped up at the club.
But after that talk with Nana, after that parkin’ lot showdown with Melissa, I knew if I kept goin’ like that, I was gon’ lose her. Not ‘cause she ain’t feel nothin’, but ‘cause she’d be too damn scared to stay.
So, I did the one thing I hated most.
I sat still for a couple days, I kept it simple.
Me: You make it in the house?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Aight. Goodnight.
No, who all over there. No, send me your location. No, I’m outside unless she asked.
When I texted in the mornin’, it was short.
How you sleep? Did you eat?
She answered. Not always fast, but she answered.
And when she didn’t, I let it sit.
Didn’t spin the block.
Didn’t hit her three more times.
Just ate the discomfort and went on about my business.
I ain’t like it, but I did it.
At the same time, I started cleanin’ up the other side of my life for real.
I’d been sayin’ for a minute I wanted out the worst of the streets. Mo’s death should’ve been the last straw. Instead, I just moved smarter, not softer.
Now, with Melissa in the picture and Nana’s words rollin’ around in my head, I knew I couldn’t have both.
A woman who already lost her trust once, and a life that still bled.
So I called my lawyer.
“Roman,” he said when I walked into his office, all glass and polished wood. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I’m bein’ serious this time,” I told him, droppin’ into the chair. “Start drawin’ up whatever paperwork we need to sell off the hottest parts of my portfolio.”
He lifted a brow. “By ‘hottest’ you mean… the clubs that don’t exactly file every dollar they make?”
I gave him a look.
He cleared his throat. “Right. Got it. You sure?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll keep one, maybe two. Clean. I got other investments. I want less heat. Less shit attachin’ my name to bullshit.”
He studied me for a second. “This about a woman?”
“Partly,” I admitted. “It’s about me too. I’m tired.”
He nodded, like he’d been waitin’ to hear that. “Alright. I’ll start pullin’ options. You gon’ have to walk away from some money.”
“I’d rather walk away from money than have somebody I care about dyin’ behind my name again,” I said.
He went quiet at that.
“Understood,” he said finally. “I’ll be in touch.”
Later that week, I was at the main 4 Play spot, not in the office like usual but on the floor, really watchin’ things.
My younger manager, Reek, came up to me wit’ a clipboard.
“We good on staffin’ for the weekend,” he said. “You still want security doubled at the doors?”
“Always,” I said. “We relax when I’m dead. Not before.”
He chuckled. “Bet.”
I walked the perimeter, checkin’ exits, watchin’ how my guards moved, makin’ mental notes.
For once, my eyes weren’t searchin’ for Melissa in the crowd.
It felt weird, and I ain’t like that.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I pulled it out, heart jumpin’ before I even saw the name.
It wasn’t her.
It was Royce.
Royce: Nana said dinner Sunday. You comin’?
Me: Yeah.
Royce: Good. She got that tone like she got somethin’ to say.
Me: When don’t she.
I slid the phone back in my pocket and kept movin’.
Sunday dinner at Nana’s was loud as usual.
Royce and April came in bickerin’ over somethin’ small and laughin’ about it. Truce and Charlee showed up late with food and attitude. Trend and Fee waddled in together, Fee lookin’ like she was smuggling two baby pitbulls under her shirt.
Melissa wasn’t there.
I told myself I was cool.
Nana gave me a look over the dinner table.
“Been behavin’?” she asked soft while everybody else argued about somethin’ on TV.
“I ain’t sat outside nobody house,” I said. “That count?”
She smiled. “It’s a start.”
After we ate, I helped her clear the dishes. She bumped me with her hip.
“You see how them boys look at they women?” she said. “Scared and in love all at once.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“You right there wit’ ‘em,” she added. “Just don’t let that fear speak louder than the love.”
“I’m tryin’,” I said.
“I can see that,” she said. “She gon’ see it too.”
I wanted to believe her.
A couple days later, I was at the Club 4 Play Philly location, in my office but for once actually workin’. Contracts spread out, my laptop open, a notepad full of numbers.
I heard a knock.
“Come in,” I said without lookin’ up.
Door creaked.
“Don’t you ever take a day off?” Truce’s voice came.
“This your idea of work?” Royce added, steppin’ in behind him. “You starin’ at the same paper for ten minutes.”
I leaned back. “Y’all don’t know nothin’ ‘bout business.”
“Whatever,” Truce said, floppin’ onto the couch. “We just came to see if you still on your creep tour.”
“Fuck you,” I muttered.
Royce sat on the arm of the chair, lookin’ at me. “You talked to her?”
“Not like that,” I said. “We text.”
“Text say what?” he asked.
“Good mornin’,” I mimicked. “Did you eat? Normal shit. I been chillin’.”
“Chillin’ for you or chillin’ for a human?” Truce asked.
“For a human,” I said. “I ain’t popped up nowhere uninvited.”
“That boy growin’ up, look at him,” Truce said.
They laughed. I flipped ‘em both off.
Truth was, I did feel myself changin’ a little.
Not softer.
Just… more intentional.
I still wanted to know everything about where Melissa was and who she was with.
Difference now was, I wanted her to give me that, not take it.
Whether I liked it or not, that was the only way this was gon’ feel safe to her.
That night, the club started fillin’ in early.
I walked the floor, then posted up in my usual corner with a clear view of everything.
My phone stayed in my pocket.
I wasn’t worried about her texting me.
If she did, she did. If she didn’t… I’d eat that.
Halfway through the night, after dealin’ with a drunk nigga who thought he could skip out on a tab, I stepped back into my office to breathe for a second.
I pulled my phone out on reflex, just to check the time.
Two texts sat there I hadn’t seen come in.
The first was from some promoter.
The second was from her.
Melissa: We need to talk. Not argue. Talk.
My chest did that stupid tight thing.
Old me would’ve grabbed my keys right then.
Where you at? I’m on my way.
My thumbs even started to type it.
Then I stopped. Deleted it and took a breath.
Me: Aight. When and where you want to meet?
She replied quicker than I expected.
Melissa: Somewhere quiet. Not the club. Not my house.
Melissa: Let me think on it.
Me: Bet. Just tell me when you ready. I’ll be there.
I stared at the screen for a second.
No, what’s this about. No, you scarin’ me. Even though she was.
I slid the phone back in my pocket, leanin’ my head against the back of the chair.
For the first time since all this started, it felt like she was walkin’ toward me on her own.
Not ‘cause I was outside.
Not ‘cause I caught her somewhere.
‘Cause she wanted to talk.
I didn’t know what was comin’ in that conversation.
But I knew one thing for sure.
Whatever it was, I was ready to hear it without hidin’ behind my fear this time.
‘Cause if I lost her now, I wanted it to be after I gave her my best shot at a healthy love.
Not after I’d scared her into runnin’ from the only man who ever really meant it.