FOURTEEN
“Are you ready to learn the other commands?” Daddy asks.
“Will the same thing happen as yesterday?” I smile up at him.
Daddy chuckles but shakes his head. “No, it won’t. I will be placing the treats on the ground for you to eat. After this, we have someone visiting. We don’t have time for me to give you pleasure.”
I push my bottom lip out, my shoulders sagging as disappointment fills me. It was my first time feeling pleasure like that. I desperately want to feel it again. I don’t know why the girls on the space station aren’t doing it or aren’t more curious.
“But I want it again,” I whisper.
Daddy cups my face, tilting it back so I look at him in the eyes. “Have I created a pleasure monster?”
I nod without thinking, and Daddy laughs.
“I’m glad you like the pleasure so much, but that doesn’t mean you are going to get it all the time. And if I find you touching yourself, there will be consequences.” Daddy raises an eyebrow. “Your pleasure is mine, I decide whether you get to feel it or not. Understand?”
“Meanie,” I mumble.
“Nora, do you understand?” he asks once again.
“Yes, Daddy. I understand that I can’t touch myself. That you are to give me pleasure when you feel like it,” I reply.
Daddy’s fingers tighten around my face. “I’m not going to be mean about it. If you want pleasure, you can ask me. I may say no, but not always.”
But I have to ask him. I don’t know if I have the courage to ask him to give me pleasure. It’s not something I’ve ever had to do. It feels weird, asking him.
“Nora?” he gently says my name.
“I don’t think I can do that,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“Why not?” he asks.
“I just don’t think I can bring myself to say those words. It feels weird and—”
“You will be able to. It might take you a couple of minutes to ask, but over time, it will get better. You asked me yesterday,” he reminds me. “It is all going to work itself out. I can prompt you if I see that is what you want. Eventually get used to it, and the anxiety about it will ease.”
I take a deep breath in and slowly let it out.
“Now, let’s get on with the tricks.” Daddy lets go of my face, and I whine.
“I don’t wanna be apart from you.” I lean my head on his leg, wrapping my arms around it.
“Are you okay, Nora?” Daddy asks.
Am I okay? I nod.
“Nora, think about this for a second, and be honest with me,” he gently says as he runs his hands through my hair.
“I don’t know,” I mumble, holding onto his leg tighter.
“Talk to me,” he urges. “Just talk. It doesn’t all have to make sense, but it might help you get all the words out that you need to get out.”
“Can I hold onto you like this?” I ask, holding my breath as I wait for Daddy to answer.
“Of course, Little Pet. And if you want to be in my lap when you are talking, just lift your arms, and I will pick you up,” he gently replies.
I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“I don’t know what’s going on with me. I don’t want to be away from you.
I thought it was because of what happened the other day, with me being in the kennel while you were gone, but I don’t know if that is the case.
” I hold on tighter. “I just don’t want to be away from you.
The thought of being just a couple of inches away from you makes my chest feel like I can’t get enough air into my lungs.
When I’m not with you, my mind wanders, and I imagine the fire alarm.
I’m always wondering if the fire alarm is going to go off again, and I don’t like it.
I just don’t want to be away from you. The thought scares me. ”
I take several deep breaths in and slowly let them out, trying to calm my racing heart.
Daddy must be thinking that I’m crazy right now. I feel crazy. Past Nora would have never been like this.
On the space station, we had alarms going off all the time for different tasks we needed to go to, and it never bothered me. But hearing that fire alarm and being stuck in the kennel has done something to me that I can’t explain.
It has made me scared.
“What you are feeling is valid. We are going to get to the bottom of it,” Daddy says as he runs his hand through my hair. “How about I ask Yamal to come a bit earlier, so we can talk about this and see if there is any medication that can help you.”
“He’s the person coming today?” I ask.
“He is. I want some time with you to teach you some commands, so I told him to come later on, but I think he needs to come soon,” Daddy gently says. “Does that sound okay?”
“As long as I don’t have to be away from you,” I mumble.
At this point, I will be okay with anything as long as I can be right next to Daddy, holding or touching part of him.
“You just relax right there. I will message Yamal,” he states.
My body relaxes, knowing that Daddy isn’t going to leave me. I didn’t think it was going to be an issue. But after Daddy gave me pleasure yesterday, something inside of me switched, and I’ve been clingier than normal. Hopefully, Daddy doesn’t mind and will keep me.
“Will you get rid of me if we can’t fix this?” I whisper before I can stop myself.
Daddy pulls me up and places me on his lap before I can do anything.
“Nora, look at Daddy,” he commands.
I close my eyes and look in Daddy’s direction, not able to make myself look at him. What if this is his line that he is going to draw? I don’t think I will be able to survive without him if he sends me to the space station now. What if I hear all those alarms and panic every single time?
No.
I will die from all the panic I will feel if he gives me back to the space station.
“Open your eyes and look at Daddy,” he commands, his voice firmer this time.
My eyes pop open, and Daddy smiles at me.
“Such a good girl for listening to Daddy,” he gently says. “I want you to listen to me very carefully. Understand?”
I nod.
“I am not going to give you back to the space station, no matter what. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life. You and I are a package deal. Even if you didn’t want me, I will stay by your side,” Daddy states.
“So you don’t have to worry about getting sent back to the space station. Understand?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper and snuggle into his chest.
“I can’t live without you. If you aren’t right next to me, then my life is not worth living,” he whispers and kisses the top of my head.
“I know it might be a little dramatic for me to say that, but it is the truth. You mean everything to me. I don’t want you to think that I am going to send you back to the space station if you do something wrong.
We are going to work through this together. You are so precious to me.”
My whole body relaxes against Daddy. I didn’t think I needed to hear those words so badly, but apparently I do.
“Any time you need a reminder, you let me know and I will tell you. It is the truth,” Daddy says.
“Otay,” I mumble into his chest.
Daddy wraps his arms tightly around me.
“Yamal should be here any minute now to talk to you about everything. I want you to be completely honest with him. Don’t downplay things because you don’t want to worry me.
I want you to tell him exactly how you feel and all your symptoms. That way, he can help you to the best of his ability.
” Daddy runs his hands through my hair. “Understand?”
“Yes, Daddy. I promise,” I say right as there is a knock on the door.
“You can come in!” Daddy yells.
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out as I hear Yamal’s footsteps approach the living room.
“It’s so nice to see you again, Nora,” Yamal says as he smiles at me. “Ronal.”
I give him a shy smile back, still self-conscious about being naked in front of someone else.
“What seems to be the problem?” Yamal asks as he sits down on the couch.
I push my face into Daddy’s chest, not wanting to look at Yamal. What if he tells Daddy to give me back to the space station?
“No thinking like that,” Daddy reminds me. “Yamal is going to do everything in his power to help you get better. You are not going back to the space station.”
“Ronal is right. I am here to listen to you, so that I can help you overcome it. There is no sending anyone back. That’s not how it works on Venkoria,” Yamal explains.
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out before I turn to look at Yamal and tell him everything.
“Well, it sounds like when the fire alarm went off, you were really scared. Now you don’t want to be away from your Daddy for even a second. Easy fix.” Yamal claps his hands.
“Really?” I whisper as I lean closer to Yamal.
“Yes, an easy fix. Your Daddy is going to put a harness around you and keep hold of the leash at all times when you aren’t right next to him.
That way, you know he still has a hold of you.
In time, your body will recognize that you are safe and nothing is going to happen.
Eventually, you won’t need the harness,” Yamal explains.
“But right now we need to make sure that you feel safe at all times so your body can relax and not be in fight-or-flight mode.”
“I have a harness I have been wanting to try out on her,” Daddy says. “The leash can be several different lengths.”
“Perfect. You can first have it as a pretty short leash so she can still touch you if she wants. Over time, you’ll be able to make the leash longer.
But don’t do that until she is fully ready.
We don’t want to make her panic if you decide to extend the leash before she is ready.
That will only make her progress go back several steps,” Yamal reminds Daddy.
I let out a breath and lean into Daddy, happy we are finding a way to get me better. I don’t mind relying on Daddy so much, but I know that it will make things difficult if I have to touch him all the time. I don’t want Daddy to regret picking me as his.
“Now, I brought my medical bag so we can finish the check-up.” Yamal stands up.
“Check up?” I ask and turn to Daddy.
“Yes, check up. Yamal didn’t get all the information with the wand. He needs more now.” Daddy rises, holding me close to him.
“I brought the probe this time.” Yamal pulls out a long stick, and my eyes go wide.