Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
MELLIE
PRESENT DAY
As soon as I get back from Christmas shopping—and that awkward encounter with Ronin—I drag all of my shopping bags upstairs and fall onto my bed. My head still pounds in my skull.
Reaching off the mattress with my leg for the bag I have tossed to the side, my foot hooks around one of the backpack straps and I yank it up to dig around for some headache medicine. Laziness at its best.
By some holiday miracle, I managed to get all of my gift shopping finished. I’m pretty proud of my success, especially with a killer hangover fogging my brain. A nap is in order if I’m going to be a functioning adult when I meet with Ronin tonight. My stomach twists at the thought.
I know that we need to clear the air between us, but that doesn’t make actually doing it any easier.
It’s been years of no contact and he’s been suddenly thrust back into my daily life.
Frankly, I’m feeling knocked off balance.
I’m no longer used to seeing him so often, or being around him and drowning in nostalgia.
His very presence is overwhelming me. Sitting next to him on the bench today…
It felt like there was a pull between us, something out of our control that always brings us together.
I can see it in the way he looks at me and the way my body responds to him.
This feeling of uncertainty is unfamiliar and I don’t like it one bit.
I drop my arm over my face to shield it from the late afternoon sun shining through the curtains. I’m too tired and too lazy to get up and close them. I just need to rest my eyes for a few minutes, to get the fucking throbbing in my skull to stop trying to turn my brain into mush.
Just a few minutes. That’s all I need.
A light knock at my door stirs me awake, and I sit up groggily, staring into the darkness of my bedroom.
“Mellie? Are you awake, sweetie?” Mom's voice is laced with concern even through the closed door.
“Yeah,” I croak. I clear my throat and reach for the glass of water beside my bed to take a drink. “Come in.”
Mom cracks the door open, and a sliver of bright light slices into the dark from the hallway.
She pushes into my room holding a tray of food and a bottle of water.
“I thought you might be hungry, hun. You slept right through dinner tonight. I came to get you, but you just looked so exhausted and peaceful, I thought you could use the nap. Are you feeling okay?”
I slept through dinner? Fuck.
“What time is it?” I fumble around my bedding, searching for my phone. Finding it, the bright screen glares into my face, making me squint.
9:00 p.m.
“Shit,” I curse, jumping out of bed and spinning around in a circle, trying to get my bearings. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“What is it, Amelia?” Mom seems panicked by my reaction. She places the dinner tray on my bed and starts toward me.
“I was supposed to meet Ronin an hour ago,” I wail helplessly. “He’s going to be so pissed. Shit! Where are my shoes?”
“They’re downstairs by the door. Well, wait just a minute, Mellie—where are you going?”
Mom is cut off as I barrel past her, grabbing my backpack and running for the stairs.
“Sorry, Mom! Thanks for dinner, but I have to go!” I call to her over my shoulder as I trip over my shoes, stopping to tug my Converse on. I grab my winter coat and house keys, and run out of the house.
There is no way Ronin will still be at the gazebo. He’ll think I stood him up, that I didn’t want to see him or talk to him. God, that nap was so stupid! Why didn’t I set an alarm, or wake up when my mom had dinner ready? Stupid fucking hangover.
I’m panting by the time I run the few blocks into town.
As the brick buildings of Main Street come into view, I slow down to catch my breath.
The streets aren’t empty. There are still a few people milling around, taking in the holiday decorations scattered around the town center and sipping hot chocolate from a street vendor set up near the gazebo.
Twinkling lights and colorful garlands leer at me cheerfully as I rush down the sidewalk.
Music and laughter filter out of Double Shot as I walk past the doors.
I glance inside but there is no sign of Ronin.
Everything else on the block is closed at this hour, but the street lamps are on, staying lit well past midnight to see the late night patrons home safely.
The gazebo looms ahead, and as I get close enough to see the benches under the roof, the emptiness stares back at me.
I’m too late.
Shit.
I jog up the steps and spin in the middle.
The familiar brick buildings and cheerful holiday lights streak my vision and my thoughts whirl, memories of countless nights spent under this very roof tumbling through my hazy mind.
My heart clenches, a vision of Ronin out there somewhere searching for me flashing before my eyes.
I scoff at the thought. How self-centered am I?
As if Ronin doesn’t have better things to do at this hour than wait around for me. The best friend who left him.
Oh, God. What if he has a girlfriend? The thought never even crossed my mind until now, but what if he went home where someone is waiting for him?
Waiting to hear how the conversation went with the ex-best friend who came home for the holidays?
This is like a bad Hallmark movie. Small-town romance, except this time, the guy is already taken and the girl is too damn late.
Tears prick at my eyes, and I reach up to wipe them in frustration.
Sitting down on one of the benches, I pull my phone back out, swiping through my messages until I find Bree, cursing myself for not adding Ronin’s contact back into my phone when I’d gotten a new number a couple of years back.
Besides, right now, I just needed my best friend—the only one I had left.
Hey, you around? SOS at the gazebo. Bring booze
Be right there
Bree finds me twenty minutes later still sitting under the gazebo, hands frozen—because of course I ran out of the house in a panic and forgot my gloves. And my hat. Oh, and of course it started to rain.
“Hey, hun.” Bree jogs up the steps, a canvas tote bag hanging from her arm and the clinking sounds of bottles coming from within. She looks warm despite the weather, wrapped up in a puffy, pale blue jacket with a huge umbrella overhead.
My eyes fill with tears again. I swear, I didn’t cry this much in LA. There must be something in this small-town air.
“I fucked up, Bree,” I breathe, taking a deep gulp. “How did it all get so messed up?”
She comes to sit next to me on the bench. Her expression is somber as she drops her umbrella and sets the bag down between us before pulling me into a hug.
“Is this about Ronin?” Her voice is soft as she pulls away, leaning back to peer at me and wipe tears from my cheeks with her gloved fingers.
I nod. “I was supposed to meet him here tonight. We were going to talk—finally talk. But I fell asleep.” I pull away from the hug, tucking my legs underneath me as I sit back.
“He probably thinks I didn’t care enough to meet him.
He probably went home to his gorgeous girlfriend and their adorable, fluffy cat, and their perfect little house with a white picket fence, and told her all about how I couldn’t even be bothered to show up—”
“Hold up.” Bree puts her hand out in a stop gesture. “What fucking girlfriend are you talking about? And when did Ronin get a cat? Isn’t he allergic to cats?”
“Oh, yeah he is, you’re right. Okay, so it’s probably an adorable, fluffy dog, then.”
“Mellie, Ronin doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Bree’s hand comes to rest on my shoulder, anchoring me. “He hasn’t dated anyone in years, as far as I know. Are you drunk already? Did I even need to bring these?” She opens the tote bag between us and pulls out two bottles of rosé.
“No, I am not drunk, and yes, you absolutely needed to bring those. Can’t you see I’m having a meltdown?”
I grab one of the bottles, appreciating that it’s a twist cap and not a cork. I open it and take a swig right from the bottle.
“Oh, it’s one of those nights, then,” Bree observes.
“Okay, guess we won’t be needing the plastic cups I brought, like a civilized person.
” She grabs the bottle from me, takes a sip and hands it back, wiping her mouth with her gloved hand.
“What’s really going on, babe? This isn’t just about missing Ronin tonight, is it? ”
I play with the strap of the tote bag, flipping it over itself and back.
I sigh, sipping from the wine bottle again, and meet Bree’s inquiring eyes.
“I messed up when I left here, I know I did. This town…it felt so small to me back then, and I was starting to feel like my life was going nowhere.” My head tilts back and I stare up into the rafters of the gazebo.
“I freaked out and had a mid-twenties crisis where I had an English degree and nowhere to use it.” A laugh escapes me.
“And then my best friend tells me he thinks the two of us should be together, maybe even get married. I do the only reasonable thing I can do and leave town in a panic, because he said he loved me and how was I supposed to just continue seeing him everyday—”
“I’m sorry, excuse me?” Bree interrupts my tirade. I jump, the wine sloshing in the bottle, my eyes wide and innocent. She sends a narrow glare back at me, her expression shifting between anger and sadness. “Slow down. Ronin asked you to marry him and you didn’t think to tell me?”