Chapter Eight
FINN
THE NEXT DAY
I wake up to bright sunshine spilling into my bedroom and a champagne hangover that only java and excess carbs can cure.
This being New York, with coffee shops and bakeries on every block, I decide to head out to grab my sugar fix instead of ordering in.
After all, I’m an athlete; I need fresh air and a walk to go with my calories.
After downing a full glass of water and grabbing a quick shower, I throw on a pair of worn jeans, a Rush sweatshirt, and a light jacket. I’m out the door and down to the lobby in no time, but the place is deserted. Stepping outside, the crisp fall air fills my lungs and helps to clear my head.
I spend the first ten minutes wandering the Hudson Yards neighborhood that I now call home and pause only when I get a whiff of baked goods.
Amazing smells lead me around the corner to a lineup outside You Knead It, a combination café and bakery.
Fifteen minutes later, I finally see what all the waiting was about.
The café’s packed, and the scent of roasted beans and pastry tempts me to order the entire menu.
On impulse, I order two coffees and decide I’ll drop one off for Sel.
I get one black coffee because I don’t know how he likes it, and one latte for me, then I select two chocolate croissants, four everything bagels—two with fried eggs and cheddar, two with scallion cream cheese—and a couple of apple fritters.
Back home and loaded up with a tray of coffees and a large bag of breakfast, I press the button for the tenth floor. I’m sober this time and it’s not a mistake. If Sel’s busy, I’ll drop off the food and wish him a good day. If he’s not, maybe we could eat and review the game. I’m cool either way.
Cool. Of course.
That’s why I pace for a good five minutes in the hallway outside his door before I finally step up and knock on it. Why am I so jittery? I haven’t even had caffeine yet…
The door swings open and Sel greets me in a navy towel wrapped tightly around his hips.
I’m not expecting to see him half naked, and for some reason I’m staring, my mouth suddenly dry.
Come on, Finn, you’re around naked guys all the time in the locker room.
Sel’s thick hair is mussed, and his skin’s pink, like he’s just had a workout or something.
“Hey, Finn.”
My cheeks heat. “Is this a bad time?”
“Uh, no, just give me a minute to get changed.” Sel steps back. “Come on in.”
Sel motions for me to enter but I stop short when I see a man in his kitchen. The blond stranger is dressed casually, holding a mug in one hand, offering me a slow smile.
Ah shit. Or something.
My stomach starts to churn when I realize what I’ve interrupted. Fuck, could my timing be any worse?
“Sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t realize you had company,” I mumble. “I can go.”
The stranger puts his mug on the counter and heads into the living room.
“It’s fine,” Sel assures me as he walks past, smelling like mint and coconut. “My massage is done.”
“Massage?”
“Yeah, it’s a must the day after a hard game. I swear by them.”
So, not personal, but therapeutic. I’m oddly relieved even though I’m not sure why. The stranger—the massage therapist—walks back through the kitchen, only this time he’s hauling a foldable table.
“Finn, this is Cody Brooks, he’s one of the RMTs at the Rush. Highly recommend.” Sel smiles and points over his shoulder. “I’m gonna run back and change real quick.”
While Sel takes off down the hallway, I walk to the kitchen and place the coffee and pastries on the counter. Cody drops the table and offers his hand to me.
“Finn Baran, number seventy-six, right? You’re the rookie. You played great your first night.”
“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you.” I shake his hand. “I was introduced to the training staff last week, but I guess I missed you.”
“I’m a newbie too, started a few days ago,” Cody explains with a grin. “But you’ll see me around the rink moving forward.”
Cody reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card.
“Here’s my contact info. I’ll be there for games and practice days, but I’m also happy to arrange home visits around your schedule.”
“Awesome. Thanks.”
Cody grabs the table by the handle and heads for the door.
“See you next time, Sel!” Cody calls out. “And thanks for the coffee.”
“You’re welcome!”
“Here, let me help you with the door,” I offer.
“Appreciated, Finn,” Cody replies with a nod. “See you soon.”
When Cody’s gone, I shut the door, head back to the kitchen, and start unpacking the pastries and bagels, each one more mouthwatering than the next.
Once I have the food plated, I snag my coffee and sigh with pleasure because the scent is total nirvana.
But it’s the first sip that really gets to me, and before I know it, I’m groaning loudly in appreciation.
“You gonna drink that or have sex with it?”
I choke and geyser the mouthful of coffee all over the counter in front of me.
Thankfully, not all over our breakfast, though.
Putting my cup down, I offer my teammate my favorite finger with one hand and reach for the roll of paper towel with the other.
God, I made a mess, of the counter and probably my face.
While wiping up, I glance over to find Sel leaning against the fridge in tight jeans and a Rush T-shirt.
He’s shaking hard, desperately trying to hold in his laughter.
“I’m glad your jokes are back, Sel, but your timing sucks.”
Sel’s laughter finally bursts free, and the sight of his smile fills me with relief. The man I met this summer is back, here, now. I can’t look away, kind of like staring at the sun. I’m suddenly dizzy again, and I grab the counter to steady myself.
Fuck, I’m starving. For food. Yes. Bagels. Croissant.
Eat something before you pass out.
“Sorry, but I couldn’t resist,” Sel quips as he moves to take a seat on one of the stools. “Wow, that’s quite the breakfast spread. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Eat up before it gets stale. I got you black coffee because I didn’t know how you liked it.”
“Sweet,” he replies. “Lots of half and half and brown sugar. Or a latte.”
“Same.”
Sel heads for the fridge and grabs a container of milk and a package of brown sugar, opening the lid of his coffee and stirring in a generous amount of both.
Instead of standing there staring, I sit down and wait for him to join me.
Then, like the hockey players we are, we dive into the food and come up for air and conversation only when the last bite is devoured.
“Fuck, that was incredible,” he insists. “Their coffee’s way better than mine. Where is this place?”
“22nd and tenth. There was a lineup when I arrived, but it moved quickly.”
“I’ll have to check it out.”
I survey him, noting how different he looks today. The color in his face is back, his brown eyes are clear, and his posture’s relaxed.
“You seem to be in a better mood. That massage must’ve worked wonders.”
“It helped, but that’s not all of it.” Sel swivels to face me. “I finally spoke to Damien last night. By the way, he said to give you his best. He’s very proud of you.”
A blush spreads across my face. Even though the words make me happy, I’m awkward when it comes to receiving praise. To distract myself, I reach for my coffee.
“I’ll have to give him a call,” I reply and take another sip. “So, you guys talked? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it was good. Weeks overdue. And our conversation gave me a new perspective. He wasn’t downplaying what I’m going through and the pressure I’m under, but he pointed out there’s a flipside to it.
I’m not hiding, and if some people don’t accept me, then they were never my friends to begin with. ”
I raise my coffee cup and tap Sel’s.
“Cheers to that.”
“What about you?” Sel asks. “How was the rest of your night? Did you have a wild time at the club?”
“Got the full VIP treatment, and shit, that’s a whole other level of partying. I hung out mostly with Berg, Makela, and Sorensen, and then I left around one. I’m sure it only got wild from there.”
“No doubt.”
“A couple of the guys were hooking up,” I continue. “But that’s not for me.”
“It’s not everyone’s scene.”
“Not that I don’t notice beautiful people, I mean you know, but I can’t, uh—”
Shit, stop talking Finn.
“It’s okay, Finn. You do you.”
“I’m demi,” I blurt out.
Sel lowers his cup and nods.
“Okay.”
“I told you I had a girlfriend back in high school, but what I didn’t mention was that we were friends first. I never went in for hookups, still don’t.
It took me ages to accept that I felt different about sex, that it wasn’t an instant thing for me.
Not like it was for my teammates. You know how locker rooms are; guys are always bragging about who and how often they fuck.
I used to bullshit to fit in. It wasn’t until Sutton U that I felt comfortable letting that persona go. ”
Sel smiles and taps my cup in return. “To being true to ourselves.”
It’s so cool that I can talk to him about this. Eventually, maybe I can tell the rest of my Rush teammates.
“So, why did you and—” Sel pauses and looks away. “Sorry, it’s none of my biz.”
“Why did Simone and I break up?” I offer. “She didn’t want to do long distance. And her future is in Nebraska, mine isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family, and I’ll always go back, but I want to see the world first.”
“And there’s been no one since?”
“Nope. Didn’t meet anyone special in college.”
I’m admitting I’ve been celibate for years, which, to some, would be inconceivable. But when I look at Sel, I don’t see judgement.
“I hung out with a lot of awesome people, but that was it,” I confess. “I didn’t have a single date.”
Sel groans and drops his head into his hands.
“Ugh, don’t mention dates,” he grumbles.
“Why? Have you had some bad ones?”
“Yeah, but it’s not about that. I’ll be going on one in the very near future.”
“You’ve met someone?”