Chapter 5 #2
It’s embarrassing. I’m nineteen, and I haven’t even kissed someone. The first time I held hands with someone outside of my family was with Stassie a few months ago when she found out her family cat had died and I tried to comfort her.
There’s a quiet knock on the door, and I tense. The clock on my bedside table reads seven o’clock, and my stomach drops.
Fuck. He’s here.
This is really happening.
With shaky arms, I push myself off my bed and head to the door. I take in a deep breath, then plaster on what I hope is a confident smile when I swing open the door. Tyler stands on the other side. He’s holding a Chipotle bag, lips kicked up in a crooked grin as he takes me in.
“Did I wake you?” he asks teasingly.
Confused, I furrow my brows. “No?”
He juts his chin toward me. “You look like you’ve just woken up.”
I take a step back and turn toward the mirror on my closet. My hair is a mess from where I’ve been running my fingers through it, and there’s a pillow crease down one side of my face from where I buried my head in it.
“No, just…” I wave my hand in the air, hoping the words will appear out of thin air. “Overwhelmed,” I settle on, though it’s a major understatement.
Tyler gives a sympathetic smile and moves into my room. He closes the door behind him, and I hear the gentle flick of the lock engaging. The notion of it has my heart rate kicking up a gear and nerves coiling in my gut.
Is something going to happen tonight? I know that’s the whole plan, but I don’t know if I’m ready for it. Are you ever ready for it? Is there like a sign or timer that prepares you for this? Maybe I should have searched on the internet for a manual on the best way to lose your virginity.
He digs out a bowl from the bag and hands it over. My stomach grumbles at the smell as I open the lid before it swoops at the significance of what’s in my hands.
“How did you know my order?” I ask, genuinely touched.
“Because it’s the exact same as mine, except you have tomato salsa instead of chili-corn salsa.” He shrugs, like it means nothing. “It was easy to remember.”
Something pulls in my chest. A sense of acknowledgment I’ve never experienced before. Ducking my head, I try to hide my smile, not wanting him to see how much a fucking Chipotle bowl means to me.
“Sit wherever you like,” I say, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.
He glances around my room, taking in the mess that is the avalanche coming out of my closet and the pile of textbooks I’ve thrown on the floor. He drags the chair from under my desk and takes a cautious seat on it.
“It’s not going to break,” I snicker.
He gives me a toothy grin. “I was just checking. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ended up on my ass from sitting on a desk chair.”
Laughing, we settle into an easy conversation about the NHL season while we eat.
It’s easy. Comfortable. And I almost forget about the reason why he’s here in the first place.
“So, I guess we should talk… strategy,” I say once I finish my food.
Smirking, he arches a brow. “Strategy.”
“Yeah.” I place my empty bowl onto the bedside table and wipe my damp palms down the front of my thighs. “You know, if there’s going to be back-checking in the end zone, we need to make sure we know position and responsibility.”
His face lights up with amusement. He rolls his lips inward, but he’s unable to stop the bark of laughter that escapes him. “Colbs, are you using hockey talk to discuss sex?”
Groaning, I cover my face with my hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
He laughs softly, but it’s not in a mocking way. “Okay, so how about we start with what you have done?”
“With other people?”
He nods.
“Nothing.”
He frowns. “What do you mean, nothing?”
“Like, I haven’t done anything. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m a rookie at, like, everything. I haven’t even kissed someone.”
His eyes nearly pop out of his head, and I let out a strangled laugh at his expression.
“Seriously? Not even those awkward-as-fuck kisses you have in second grade?”
“Nope, nothing. I’ve been too busy playing hockey to have time to think about anything else, and next thing I know, I’m months away from the draft, and I haven’t even kissed anyone.
” I flop back onto the bed and blow out a defeated breath up at the ceiling.
“I’m such a superstar, right? I can score goals, but I haven’t scored in a hole.
They should put that on their next headline,” I grunt.
Tyler bursts out laughing. I crane my head to look at him, catching him holding on to his stomach as he leans forward, wiping tears from his eyes with his other hand.
“Fucking hell, Colbs,” he wheezes between laughter, and I can’t help but join him.
He lets out a shaky breath and uses the hem of his T-shirt to wipe his damp eyes, giving me a teasing glimpse of his ripped abs.
My mouth instantly goes dry.
Fuck. Why are they hotter outside of the locker room?
Focus, McKay. Now is not the time to be drooling over his abs.
“Okay, so we’ll start with the basics, but tell me, what have you done solo? Do you have any toys?”
I nod, feeling heat crawling up my neck and flooding my face. “Yeah, it would have been a real rookie move not to. I didn’t want to risk blowing my load too soon or end up bottoming and not enjoy the feeling. So, I’ve played. A lot. With myself, obviously.”
Jesusfuck. I’m pretty sure my face is on fire right now.
Tyler lets out a choked noise.
“Well, yeah, that’s something.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“It’s good to play with yourself because it gives you an idea of what you do and don’t like, but playing with toys is a little different from being with someone, so I think we should work up to, like, penetrative sex,” he says, his voice coming out a little thicker than usual.
I swallow roughly. Pleasure throbs in my groin from this entire conversation.
Is he as affected talking about this as I am?
“We’ll go at your pace, okay? We won’t be doing anything you don’t want to do. Even if we’re midway through something and you decide you don’t want to go through with it at all, that’s cool too.”
A coil of tension unfurls in the base of my neck, not realizing how important it was for me to hear his reassurance.
I give him a shaky nod. “Yeah, okay.”
“We’ll have to figure out the best time and place to meet up. My place can be busy, but some days, it can be completely empty.”
With that, he stands and gathers up the trash, stuffing it into the paper bag the food came in, and disappointment pools in my stomach. Are we not going to do anything tonight? Hell, I was worried we would start and I’d realize I wasn’t ready for it.
Standing from my bed, I follow him toward the door. Suddenly, he spins around to face me, and I stumble slightly, trying to avoid colliding with his chest. His eyes rake over my face, like he’s assessing me for something.
Feeling a hint of nerves swirling in my stomach, I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, unsure on what I’m supposed to do right now.
He raises his hand, and my breath comes out in a shudder when he uses his thumb to pull it free.
Then it’s like time freezes. Tyler leans in, brushing his lips over mine.
It’s gentle. Just the barest caress of skin touching skin.
His teeth graze over my lip, and I whimper.
The rush of electricity shooting down my spine into my groin has my toes curling inside my socks.
His hand moves to under my chin. Fingers gently tilt my head up until I’m at the perfect angle for him to glide his tongue along my lower lip, soothing the pleasant sting his teeth left behind.
My lips part, and Tyler takes the invitation to slide his tongue into my mouth.
Seven million sensations course through my body. It’s like the firework show at Disney World is being set off inside me, shooting pleasure from my scalp to the soles of my feet.
My hands remain limp at my sides. I don’t know what to do with them. I want to touch him, but I don’t know where to put them.
On his face? His hips? His incredible ass?
Just put your hands on him, dumbass. Stop overthinking it.
I try to let go of my runaway thoughts and place my hands on his waist through the sides of his unzipped hoodie, gripping his T-shirt between my fingers. His body is solid beneath my touch, the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric.
A choked noise escapes my throat when his tongue glides against mine. He angles his head slightly, taking the lead I so desperately need to follow. His kiss is a heady mix of confidence and softness, and his tongue explores my mouth in ways that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
A rare boost of confidence spikes through me, and I tug him closer, causing our hips to press together. He lets out a low moan when our cocks rub against one another, and I realize he’s getting hard.
“Holy fuck,” I gasp, my head falling back.
Tyler dips his head, trailing his lips up my neck. His teeth graze the underside of my jaw, and then he runs his tongue over my skin to my ear.
“You’re so fucking hot, Colbs,” he whispers. His breath ghosts over my ear, and my entire body shivers.
It’s like I lose all my inhibitions at those five words. I lift my hand and dive my fingers into the hair on the back of his head, sending his ball cap falling to the ground as I slam my mouth back over his.
I’m confident but clumsy. We’re an uncoordinated hot mess as our teeth click together, noses colliding.
He stumbles backward, a pleasured moan rumbling in the back of his throat. My tongue dives back into his mouth, exploring and claiming every inch of him. My hips move like they have a mind of their own, grinding my hard cock against his equally hard thigh.
Holy shit. I’m going to come from a fucking kiss.
It’s that thought that has me pulling away and taking a step back. I reach down to squeeze my dick through my shorts, grimacing at how close I was to embarrassing myself again.
He lets out a low chuckle, running a hand through his mussed-up hair.