Chapter 18 #2
He’s silent, bringing his own swing to a stop. Without a word, he stands and grabs the bag of food on the ground and sets off toward the middle of the park.
Panic surges through me. Have I upset him? Did I say the wrong thing?
I stare at him. I haven’t moved from my place on the swing, but he must realize I’m not following because he stops and turns around.
“You coming?” he asks.
I quickly get to my feet and follow him to a spot on the grass.
He dumps the bag on the ground and pulls out a bag of chips.
He grabs a handful and shoves them into his mouth before offering the bag to me.
Sitting down next to him, I take a few chips and watch him curiously, trying to get a read on him.
There’s a stiffness to his shoulders that I’ve only ever seen during a game. Like his body is programmed into defense mode.
He lets out a breath that’s more like a sigh and falls back, moving his hands behind his head as he stares up at the sky. I take my cue to lie down next to him. The sun set hours ago, but the sky is still a mix of warm purples and pinks.
“I have a question for you,” I say after a few minutes.
“Yeah? What’s that?”
I roll my head to the side to look at him.
“You said while we were in Tampa that you don’t really know who you are, so I want to know…
If you had the chance to erase everything, all the expectations and decisions that were made for you, and you had the opportunity to do anything at all, what would you do? ”
Tyler hums, not taking his eyes off the sky, like he’s trying to find the answer in the clouds.
“Like, what makes you happy?” I add. “What has brought you joy over the years? There must have been something that made a fire burn inside you.”
His mouth twists in contemplative thought.
“I’d probably do something in music.”
My eyes widen slightly in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah. I used to play in a band in high school. It was nothing serious, just a few shows the drama and music department would put on. But I enjoyed it.”
“Did you play guitar?”
“Yeah, and I sang.”
A small gasp escapes me as my jaw drops. “You can sing? How did I not know this?”
He laughs quietly and moves onto his side, bending his elbow to rest his head in his hand. His entire face softens when he looks at me.
“It’s not something that comes up in conversation, and I’m not the kind of guy to break out into song in the middle of the locker room.”
I snort. “I’m sure a few of the others would have joined in.”
“Maybe,” he says with a smile and rests his other hand on my neck.
I relax under his touch, the feel of his hand warm and comforting.
“Did you ever get nervous playing in front of all those people?” I ask.
“No, not really. I mean, in the beginning, I did. I would worry about messing up the words or playing the wrong chord, but after a while, I learned to shut it out. Kinda like when you step onto the ice. All the noise from the crowd and everything in your head just goes silent.”
“Why didn’t you get involved in anything here?”
His eyes dip to the small patch of grass between us briefly before meeting mine again and moving his hand down to rest on my chest.
“I don’t think I’m good by any means, but it was easy in high school.
There wasn’t the same kind of expectation there as it would be at Whilton.
Mrs. Carpenter, who put on all the shows at my high school, kept asking us to play in every show, so I couldn’t have been too bad, but then again, there weren’t many others who could sing and play guitar. ”
“Can I hear you play one day?”
His mouth tilts in a lopsided smile. “You want me to sing to you, Colbs?”
I laugh, giving him a playful shove. “I don’t need you to serenade me, but I’d like to hear it.” I swallow roughly. “Only if you’re comfortable with that.”
Tyler leans forward, shielding my body with his. His hand travels back up my neck and traces his fingers along my jaw before softly gliding over my lips. I suck in a breath, the featherlight sensation causing pleasure to ripple down my spine.
“There’s no one in this world I’m more comfortable with than you,” he says, sincerity dripping from every word.
It’s like I forget how to breathe as I stare up at him, my heart thundering up a storm in my chest. Words are lost in my throat, because even if I could find them, I don’t think I could explain how I feel the same way about him.
I can only answer him by curling my fingers into his T-shirt and pulling him down, closing the distance between us until his lips collide with mine. His hair falls forward, creating a curtain around our faces. He slips his tongue into my mouth, and I groan.
I thread my fingers into the hair on the back of his head, holding him close as I devour every inch of his mouth. He shifts until he’s lying halfway on top of me, like he’s still protecting me, even though we both know we’re alone aside from some birds.
“What are we doing, Colbs?” Tyler murmurs against my lips.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “All I know is I don’t want it to stop.”
“Me neither…” He nips my bottom lip, then smooths it over with his tongue. “I just don’t know how this will work.”
“Do we have to talk about it right now? Or can we shelve it for later because we’ve got almost two weeks of catching up to do, and I haven’t had enough of your mouth yet.”
I feel his smirk against my lips. “We can’t avoid it forever. We still have more of your first-time list to complete.” He licks into my mouth before murmuring, “But it’s more than just teaching you now, Colbs. I don’t want to think about anyone else having these moments with you after I’m gone.”
I rear my head back far enough to see him in the dimming light.
“It’s always been you for me, Ty, and I don’t want to give you up or put an end to any of this after you graduate. It’s just a hurdle we’re gonna have to figure out. Together.”
His eyes search mine for a moment, and whatever he finds there must answer his silent question because he smiles and takes my lips in a slow kiss.
“Together,” he murmurs. “I like the sound of that.”